i have a girl friend that i love so much in fact i love her to the extent that i put our picture in my profile on facebook.i have been with her for three years now she is angry that i have refused to take her to my parents cause hers have already taken me as there son. i have made up my mind honestly to marry her and have told her to be cool.Then the problem - MY MOTHER! she says her father ( that is my grand father )told her that they dont marry from that part of the state am from enugu state and my girl is from the same state .am form nkanu and she udi. secondly my mum is so jealous that if i get a call from any girl she will shout at the background that i should drop the phone. she is so jealous of my relationship that at 30 yrs that i am i cant have female visitors. i have made up my mind that i can never leave my girl cause she has suffered for me pls people i need ure advice cause its not easy for me cause i don't want to go against my mother but that wouldn't make me loose my precious cause am willing to fight.pls people i need help pls advice me candidly

So are you gonna remain a mama's boy forever?My friend,you better start acting like a Man.

my guy u jus av 2 be real careful in ur decision but did u say u r 30, haba ur mum has playd her role bringn u up.,i jus want u 2 no dat if truely both of u luv eachoda, go 4 her cos u mite probably spend d rest of ur life wv her, and nt ur mum,

that is what am gonna do i will stand my feet cause she is a good girl from a good home. but what of my jealous mum what do u people think i should do about her

Na wa o! friggin tribalists.

You are 30 and your mum is still make's such decisions for you?
You need to grow up and become a Man.
Or very soon you might lose the girl.
Why did the girls Dad tell your mum that?
Why is your Mum so Jealous?
Are you her last child? or what is the problem?

chipmunkey (m)

Na wa o! friggin tribalists.

she really is GOD HELP ME

she didnt give me a reason then am the first boy.she even told my uncle that she will be the one to say where and when i will marry

where and when 2 marry ke, o boi u aint no baby o and start makin decision on ur own, let ur mama no u aint no kid again,

my brother i don tire and am ready for them. i want my girl to finish school first will engage her then and move on immediately

poster re u goin to be the man about it and make decision on ur own? or u want to sit around mama and make silly excusses? sending ur posting i guess won't be a way to show ur foolishness but the learn frm peoples view and advice, so wake up and be the MAN

na wah oh,

u've got a big problem there

well i know i have my a big problem but am ready to fight for my happiness

First advice: Move out of your mother's house! or she should move out of your house.

If you leave her there and then marry a wife, wahala don start, even if the wife is one ur mother chose.
I am a lady so i know that i would like to be in charge of my house not the guy's mother.
I love my mother - in - law like more own mother but even she knows there are some boundaries that shouldnt be crossed.

Second Advice: Ask someone that your mum respects to talk to her so that she will start accepting the situation.

Third Advice: If you want to marry your current girlfriend, meet her parents at least to set her heart at rest that your not just playing her.
Tell them your plans for their daughter, be specific. E.g: Ur daughter is still in school, as soon as she graduates i will marry her.

God help whosoever u end up wit n probably u 2

You need to find your own place even if it is face me I face you.
After that you need to do away with the 'don't marry from this village' mentality. It is only you that know what you want.

pick btw ur mum n ur girl, (ps u make ur mum look like a bad person)

since i have been sending post this is the most interesting one.thanks everybody am greatful

Am 4rm Udi too !!!!!!

so ur mum will be the one to decide 4 u, u ar 30s now, do u think u ar still a babe dat ur mum will control u dat way. Ur mum is going down now not upward. Even if she is ur mum and hav everyright to tell u what u want, but atimes we dont do what parents ar saying. Guy u ar not growing young, by now u surposed to stand on what u want. Remember is ur future u ar talking about not mum 4 now. Dont be mumi's pet 4 ever. Wake up. Be a man, man takes decision and do it not ladies. A pray God will still health u to solve dat, Best wishes !!!

@poster, And u wanna get helpful tip on NL? Badmouthing ur mum on NL. I think ur mum needs to take more control in ur life cos u aint showing maturity signs yet.

dogzymallo:

i have a girl friend that i love so much in fact i love her to the extent that i put our picture in my profile on facebook.i have been with her for three years now she is angry that i have refused to take her to my parents cause hers have already taken me as there son. i have made up my mind honestly to marry her and have told her to be cool.Then the problem - MY MOTHER! she says her father ( that is my grand father )told her that they dont marry from that part of the state am from enugu state and my girl is from the same state .am form nkanu and she udi. secondly my mum is so jealous that if i get a call from any girl she will shout at the background that i should drop the phone. she is so jealous of my relationship that at 30 yrs that i am i cant have female visitors. i have made up my mind that i can never leave my girl cause she has suffered for me pls people i need ure advice cause its not easy for me cause i don't want to go against my mother but that wouldn't make me loose my precious cause am willing to fight.pls people i need help pls advice me candidly

who are you willing to fight? If you you say you are you are ready to marry her then you are not suppose to be in ur parents house. Besides at 30yrs you don't have ur own say? Maybe ur mum has prepared in her village a girl that she wants you to marry. My advice is that leave the house for ur own. [color=#000099][/color]

@ Poster

if u are really 30, still living with ur mum and have her dictate to u, then u've got a big problem there.

why dont you call ur mum, sit her down and hav a mother and son talk. ask her what she wants for you and from you. Let her know that you love her as a mother but that at this point, you need to make something good out of ur life.

Please, speak to her and let her know how essential this area is in ur life. Tell her if she truly loves you and wants the best for you, she should let you make this decision.

I've witnessed something like this, the guy only married the lady after much pleading to the mother. they lived with her but at the long run, the marriage collapsed withing two years cos the mother was the principal dictator in that marriage.

may God help you.

You had better be wary of the devil.If a relationship should estrange you from your family,I don't think its worth it.You marry to have peace not to be torn to pieces.Come to think of it,if anything bad happens in the future(nobody prays for evil) who will you run to?You have to balance the wishes of your family with your own so that you can strike a common ground so that you will live long and in bliss after marriage.In traditional African culture which is still prevalent,marriage is between families and not between you and your wife.If you think that your girl is the only person you can love,tell me if she is the only one you have loved before.Be wise and save yourself some trouble tomorrow.As for me the girl i will marry must be fully accepted by my family and if there are differences,I will weigh it against the odds and try to resolve it but if not something extraordinary has to happen,break up.

Honestly, I see no issue here.

If at 30 you cannot make your own decisions and stand by it (either good or bad) then i am sad for you.

Common! act like a man and not a chicken,


Most of all, you need to set your mom straight.

see, whether or not u set ur mom straight or castigate her or whatever, remember, ALL OF THEM, UR MOM, UR WIFE ETC ARE ALL THE SAME IN ONE RESPECT= THEY WANT TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE!!!

so u can understand how not a single girl will laud u.

that said, its actually dependent on ur outlook to life to decide whether your mom is actually intrusive, make no mistake, most of the so-called men bashing you cannot stand up to their mother FACT!!!. its easy to say trash here.
so for u it may be ok, it may not be,


however, what you have to know is that this is a maturity test for you! you have to be smart and cunning. you are more or less like a polygamous man with two wives, management is the watchword.

do not get into a tiff with your mother over another woman, believe you me, women are very dangerous in those situations, its YOUR life/happiness at stake. besides she has been there all the while, if she was so bad, why the hell is the babe with you? the bad woman produced an angelic man?

that said, you cannot marry your mother, neither do you need her remotely controlling your life from afar, thus if u have a good girl you have to hold on. so BALANCING is the watchword.

tips:
1. look for an relative, adult eg grand parent or uncles etc, go meet them explain to them that you love your mother so much but she is over bearing and all that and you are finding it difficult. tell them she is even preventing you from getting married by her ways

2. move out and get a place of your own.

3. never badmouth your mom to your girl or let it out that your mom is an issue, believe me even 15 year old girls who have never had a boyfriend complain about mother in law they may never have, doing that will merely fuel the idiocy and set the pace for the battle over your life.

4. be polite, loving but firm with your mother, stop all the mumu mommys boy ways you have, incl running after her food, getting her to speak for you when you ought to for yourself, depending on her for stuff.

5. show lots of love and sacrifice towards your mom, esp materially, (yes start buying her stuff show you are now a man, give her money even in small amounts)

6 most importantly, NEVER LET YOUR GIRL KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU GIVE AND DO FOR YOUR MOM, AND NEVER LET YOUR MOM KNOW WHAT YOU GIVE AND DO TO YOUR GIRL/WIFE!!!


the above is a start to letting the reality dawn that you are set free from under her and she should look for other stuff to occupy her other than her 'boy'
your problem is common to men who have mothers whose only preoccupation is their children.

AS FOR ALL THE GIRLS, 95 % OF YOU WILL END UP LIKE THIS TOO!! you always do, wait till you mother a child from birth till adult, and then see how easy it is to let go to a girl you dont even like/trust.
its easy to bash the moms abi? you will be one too and will get bashed!! period!

@ op grow a pair of balls asap, but never ever denigrate your mom for anor woman. forget matter, she will never be all that, besides the stats say you could be divorced no matter how good you are in less than five years, u gonna throw away a lifetime of love for that?

Guy u never said the truth, is like u wanna marry ur mum right? at age of 30s now u hav not become a man, u better now decide what u want in life, i myself is 4rm Udi too, So u better weak up and act like a man unless u dont love dat girl to extend of geting married to her. Maybe !!! Only God knows and u are using ur mum as an excuse of not geting married to someone who surfers alot 4 u. U guys are sometimes like dat. U 4got soon who surfers 4 u, but when she was surfering 4 u, u didnot remember dat ur mother said, now ur mum has started saying. Guy sorry to tell u dis, U dey MUMU Ooooooh, Mr. mum said, Infact u are not man enough, U better act well as a man,

I think you did not tell us the real thing.
Sorry but this story is nt straightforward.
their is something you are hiding.
Can we hear the truth pls.

Oga , what are you still doing in your mum;s house. if you can pray start and also try to push your point, by letting your mum know that is all about what you feel not tradition