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My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise - Family - Nairaland

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My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by oprah007(m): 2:47pm On Nov 12, 2017
Hi everyone. Happy Sunday. I am a guy of 30 years of age who graduated with BA Degree last year. I couldn't go for youth service because of my age. So I decided to get myself an apartment and started hustling and hunting for job. I recently got a job which promise a great future even though the pay at the moment is not much. I also have a girlfriend who school in one of the federal polytechnics. My father is a Pastor, pastoring a small church in the same state I live.

Now the issue at hand is that my father wants me to leave my apartment and move back home (until probably when I am ripe for marriage I guess). He has been on this for quite sometime of which I told him I can't move back home with them at my age and moreover, its a rented apartment (My parents never build house).

Today, he dropped a bomb. He commanded me to pack all my things and move back home to come and help him with d church within 7 days else, he will see to it that I am sacked from my new work in one way or the other and also threaten to pray to God to make my girlfriend jilt me (coz she is one of d reasons why I don't want to move back home according to him).

I don't want to move back home at my age. I always pray against it as I see such act as pointing to a backward step in my life. I have managed to setup my apartment to taste and also aiming to marry my present girlfriend.

Do I yield to my father's "come back home" instruction or do I stand on my decision not to? PLEASE ADVISE.

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by Nobody: 2:50pm On Nov 12, 2017
Hmmm, he doesn't want you to work in an office and prefer you to work/help him with church activities?
Has he been telling you this before you graduated?
What about your siblings?
Well, everything all depends on the family ties.....
If worse comes to worst, you can tell him you will only be with him at home for just one year, and after then you will like to live on your own...

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by NnamdiN: 2:56pm On Nov 12, 2017
Stand your ground Sir.
What is your mother saying or doing about the relocation order?

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by Nobody: 2:56pm On Nov 12, 2017
........Abroad, you move on when you are done with school (perhaps at the age of 22 or thereabout) in my country, parents will call you to come back home to live at 30 years and over.
different folks!!

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by efighter: 2:57pm On Nov 12, 2017
Your father threatened to see that you are sacked and pray your girlfriend jilt you? I respect elders, so I will say nothing.

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by oprah007(m): 3:00pm On Nov 12, 2017
NnamdiN:
Stand your ground Sir.

What is your mother saying or doing about the relocation order?

She is in support of my Dad. Has always been. Its giving me headache but my spirit, body and soul does not move back home. I am only scared of my father's threats of cursing my relationship and working towards my sack.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by oprah007(m): 3:02pm On Nov 12, 2017
efighter:
Your father threatened to see that you are sacked and pray your girlfriend jilt you? I respect elders, so I will say nothing.

Baffles me a lot and makes me wanna cry. What on earth can a son do to his father to warrant such moves.

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by NnamdiN: 3:04pm On Nov 12, 2017
oprah007:


She is in support of my Dad. Has always been. Its giving me headache but my spirit, body and soul does not move back home. I am only scared of my father's threats of cursing my relationship and working towards my sack.
why would a pastor wanna curse someone so as to have his way? He's not God anyways. If I were you, I wouldnt listen to them.

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by haywire07(m): 3:07pm On Nov 12, 2017
Bros, I blame u

That's what happens when you allow your parents make all decisions for you wen you were younger . Ur dad still feels he still has that right.

I'm not asking children of nowadays to be rude , but when you can't find justifications for some actions, u have the right to question your parents .

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by oprah007(m): 3:09pm On Nov 12, 2017
haywire07:
Bros, I blame u
How big boss?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by fernandoc(m): 3:12pm On Nov 12, 2017
what an elder sees sitting down.... you know the rest. Maybe your father has seen that with your input in his church it will grow to the likes of Rccg and Winners and you being his son will inherit it and have a secure future. The path with the least resistance is not always the surest path.

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by oprah007(m): 3:17pm On Nov 12, 2017
fernandoc:
what an elder sees sitting down.... you know the rest. Maybe your father has seen that with your input in his church it will grow to the likes of Rccg and Winners and you being his son will inherit it and have a secure future. The path with the least resistance is not always the surest path.

But I can still help with the church without moving back home. I go to his church every Saturday and come back to school on sundays since my 100 level days. My tfare to and fro the church is 1000 naira. I still go every Sunday.

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by oprah007(m): 3:18pm On Nov 12, 2017
haywire07:
Bros, I blame u

That's what happens when you allow your parents make all decisions for you wen you were younger . Ur dad still feels he still has that right.

I'm not asking children of nowadays to be rude , but when you can't find justifications for some actions, u have the right to question your parents .

Hmmm.....

1 Like

Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by Nobody: 3:19pm On Nov 12, 2017
Don't you dare do it! Move back home at 30, especially when you're doing okay for yourself? Don't do it. I command you to stay where you are!

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by oprah007(m): 3:24pm On Nov 12, 2017
Gluhbirne:
Don't you dare do it! Move back home at 30, especially when you're doing okay for yourself? Don't do it. I command you to stay where you are!

Okay ma. Thank you so much for this

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by Ishilove: 3:28pm On Nov 12, 2017
What kind of father will pray for his son to be sacked? He stands on the altar every Sunday to pray for people but wants to curse his own son because the boy has chosen his own path in life.

Op, stand your ground and use prayer to counter prayer. God is not a confusionist and He will set things straight

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by Young03(m): 3:29pm On Nov 12, 2017
your father's reasoning is like that of a chick

Tell him no papa
it won't kill you man

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by oprah007(m): 3:30pm On Nov 12, 2017
Ishilove:
What kind of father will pray for his son to be sacked? He stands on the altar every Sunday to pray people but wants to curse his own son because the boy has chosen his own path in life.

Op, stand your ground and use prayer to counter prayer. God is not a confusionist and He will set things straight

Yes Boss. Thank you big time

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by onyichick(f): 3:31pm On Nov 12, 2017
if you'll love to tk over the church from your dad in future then move back home but if you don't have any interest in the church I'll say stay put where you are and don't move home.

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by eyinjuege: 3:32pm On Nov 12, 2017
oprah007:


She is in support of my Dad. Has always been. Its giving me headache but my spirit, body and soul does not move back home. I am only scared of my father's threats of cursing my relationship and working towards my sack.

The curse causeless shall not come... Prov 26:2
Any father that curses his child for whatever reason shouldn't be accorded the respect as one.
Don't give in to any form of blackmail.

22 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by oprah007(m): 3:36pm On Nov 12, 2017
eyinjuege:


The curse causeless shall not come... Prov 26:2
Any father that curses his child for whatever reason shouldn't be accorded the respect as one.
Don't give in to any form of blackmail.

Thanks boss

onyichick:
if you'll love to tk over the church from your dad in future then move back home but if you don't have any interest in the church I'll say stay put where you are and don't move home.

No I don't. Never seen myself as a pastor.

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by bedspread: 3:42pm On Nov 12, 2017
My brother, My advice to u is to go GOD in Prayers asking him to Reveal to you the Way Forward......
Once he speaks , GO With wat he says...

I had Similar issues... I heard GOD say to me that I was leaving.
Today am far away from home ...
And GOD IS DOING BIG THINGS WITH ME AND FOR ME.....
I hv happily done my traditional wedding and church wedding is close by.....
LET GOD LEAD U

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by FortifiedCity: 3:56pm On Nov 12, 2017
Gluhbirne:
Don't you dare do it! Move back home at 30, especially
when you're doing okay for yourself? Don't do it. I command you to stay where you are!
Hmmm....You command him?

Online Commando

10 Likes

Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by Maradonna: 3:59pm On Nov 12, 2017
Some 5 years ago, I was in your shoes though mine was with my mum. She threatened fire and brimstone but I stood my ground. Now am married with kids.

My advise
Dont give in to the emotional blackmail. He is only scared of losing his control over you. Try to talk to him like a man. If he doesnt bulge, plead with your uncles or anyone that your dad respects to speak with him on your behalf.

Then pray. If you dont manage this well, it may damage your relationship with them (popsie and mumsie) for a long time.

No matter what you do, DONT MOVE BACK

You are a full grown man that should be able to make decisions for him.

Remember, DECISIONS DETERMINES DESTINY.

59 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by ifex370(m): 4:09pm On Nov 12, 2017
Two men cannot pilot your life...



Your a man

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by oprah007(m): 4:12pm On Nov 12, 2017
Maradonna:
Some 5 years ago, I was in your shoes though mine was with my mum. She threatened fire and brimstone but I stood my ground. Now am married with kids.

My advise
Dont give in to the emotional blackmail. He is only scared of losing his control over you. Try to talk to him like a man. If he doesnt bulge, plead with your uncles or anyone that your dad respects to speak with him on your behalf.

Then pray. If you dont manage this well, it may damage your relationship with them (popsie and mumsie) for a long time.

No matter what you do, DONT MOVE BACK

You are a full grown man that should be able to make decisions for him.

Remember, DECISIONS DETERMINES DESTINY.

Thanks for that advice sir. And thanks for sharing your experience. It was encouraging.

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by LadySarah: 4:26pm On Nov 12, 2017
no it isnt good,you are supposed to be moving forward not bacjward.he is emotionally blackmailing you,pls dont give in.

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by Afam4eva(m): 4:36pm On Nov 12, 2017
The issue shouldn't be your age. Being 30 is a none issue/ The point is that you're not really struggling to pay your rent and as such, there's no need for you to move back to your Father's house.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by spencekat(m): 4:38pm On Nov 12, 2017
oprah007:


Thanks for that advice sir. And thanks for sharing your experience. It was encouraging.

1 Like

Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by Lalas247(f): 6:36pm On Nov 12, 2017
You are an adult and grown at 30 !
Please DO NOT MOVE BACK home


The only time that should even happen is if you are seriously struggling financially and have no way out ... you can go back home and restart .. at least you’ll have a roof over your head and food ..but if you are doing ok my dear struggle and hustle better..... they will respect u more at the end

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Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by Hofbrauhaus(m): 7:06pm On Nov 12, 2017
How old was your father when he left his father? Ask your father that question...

Don't go back home, you are no longer a child...
You can help him in church from anywhere...why go back home?

Oga, you are doing the right thing...

10 Likes

Re: My Parent Wants Me To Move Back Home At 30. Please Advise by Uyi168: 7:07pm On Nov 12, 2017
a father that doesnt want the best for his son,is that one a father?

27 Likes

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