JUST LIKE YESTERDAY (Part 3)
Inspired by Mama Victory


Just like yesterday, Iya Itunu was saving somebody from the jaws of hell.

Three JSS1 boys had walked into Itunu hostel.
Strutting and swaggering in gait as if their fathers were the ones who paid for every brick that built the hostel.
Walking so calmly that some seniors wondered if the rapid dogs of their hostel had lost their bite and now gave welcoming barks to strangers who they had not seen before.

The three boys were Kosi, Anwo and Tunde.
And they could walk so confidently because Kosi had assured them that 'nothing dey happen' in a 2face-like type of voice used in 'Keep on Rocking' jam.

Young Kosi feared no bite from any dog.
For his elder brother and his best friend, Tobi (God rest your soul bro), had graduated the previous year and still had some dogs who loved them.

On a certain visiting day, Chinedu, lovingly called 'Eedu' had come to school and given those dogs the cloth of his younger brother to sniff.
All to establish that the little one was to be untouchable and to be cared for at all costs.

Afterall his elder brother had been an 'efiwe' who had simply eaten the whole Ababio textbook like a sweet cake and had vomitted it successfully during the WASC exams.

An 'efiko' who had once served as the library prefect and knew by heart all the places where the most important books were in the library.
A vital set of information that he had passed to some of his friends and had helped them to avoid being colossal failures whenever the school examinations were knocking at the door like an impatient second wife who lays siege at her husband's door after being denied the pleasures and comfort that come from the spirit atilogwu dance.

Indeed, I thought the presence of pitbulls such as Energy and Tafa would help a poor lad walk through the valley of the shadow of bingos.

Alas!
The young lad was to be shocked like a young electrical engineer who thinks that he can do the work Baba Electrician with 20 years experience just because he has done two EMA.
Much worse, he was shocked to the very bone like a male student who had played the 'ibi lo ma ku si, boya lo ma dele' Mario tune in his head while he wass buying numerous orishirishi for a girl and was then turned down when the time to fight the battle of love in the theater of an Air conditioned room, came.

Indeed, the young Kosi was shocked because the two pitbulls had gone into town and the 'aja-bingos' chose that perfect time to bare their tiny teeth.

What can I say?
When an nkita (dog) is hell-bent on taking a chunk of your sweet juicy nyash (pardon the language), not even a big stone boulder would derail it from its course of action.

That was the case between myself and senior Wande that day.
As the short SS1 man had harbored ill will towards me on account of my senior brother who had used a belt to design the map of Europe, complete with border lines, across the canvas of his buttocks.

The senior had harbored that ill will and had, all through Ramadan period, prayed for a new student bearing the surname of Okonta.
One Okonta, any Okonta would answer the senior's fervent prayer to Allah, who the senior had forgotten, was also called the All Merciful.

Ki a ma fa oro gun.
Let me not be a member of the clan of orators who promise to say a short speech which would not waste anybody's time and then end up giving a sermon on the mount which leaves the bellies of people empty,
The senior had seen me and had been looking for every little opening to punish me.

That day seemed like the day of joy for him.
The igba ikore (harvest season) where he would reap the satisfaction and joy of drawing a map of South America on the fresh buttocks of 'Eedu's' little brother.

"Aburo Chinedu. Come here quick. Carry this chalk, draw a car on the ground and begin to push it to this destination"
He said.
Extending a white chalk which he had nicked from the Economics teacher's stash, to me while smiling mischievously.

Push a car ke!
Abi senior yi ti mu emu yoo ni?
Boya Igbo Osogbo lo ti fa ti oju re se n pon ba kan ba kan.

Had the good senior visited Iya Rukayat's palmwine store inside Ajase-ipo and finished her gourd of freshly tapped African wine.
Or had he sneaked out to join the boys from Oyun High School to smoke the famed Osogbo weed which brings heaven closer to the eyes of the smoker.

That kind of weed that Ogbeni Raufu smoked and decided he, a full grown gomina (governor) would put on a primary school uniform complete with kito sandals and white stockings while convincing his deputy, person mama o, to do the same.

That kind of Osogbo weed which the good Ogbeni takes before he goes to government functions and causes him to open his wide mouth to claim that Aregbe is working despite the fact that most of the civil servants have not been paid their rightful entitlements.

Surely, that was the kind of weed which the senior had smoked.
For he had on a wiry smiley face and his eyes were blazing with red sparks like that of Sango.
Just like the song which Jaywon had recorded for Internet gangstas and keyboard warriors, the eyes of the senior were 'shana-wole-ing'.
A term meaning that they were emitting red sparks just like those of yahoo boys who, not having pity for any of their victims, launch brand new red cars every new week.

"Senior. It is not possible sir. There is no way and no means in the world, either diabolical or natural, that would move that car"
I said after a while of sizing up the mental state of health of the senior.

"I say make you move something and you dey tell me say diabolical. Shey o ya were sha (there is no need interpreting this as most of you have stayed with yoruba people and can easily recognize an insult without knowing the English verrsion)?"
The senior asked, beckoning to two of his friends who belonged to the gang of those who specially hated senior Eedu and had been yearning to treat the Bleep-up of his beloved brother.

Seeing that the foes that assailed omo olope (praise child) were numerous and thinking that Olorun ti n so Israeli (God that watches over Israel) seemed to be taking an unusual nap, I began to look at the problem before me again.

Much like a university professor from Ekiti who momentarily pauses to smoke weed in order to get a fresh perspective of one of the universal mathematical problems he intends to solve.

Much like the garage 'chaman' (chairman) who takes a shot of Monkey tail in order to get a fresh perspective concerning a fight between two drivers which have been brought before him.

Beeni.
I stepped a little backwards and then re-analyzed the question.

"How could I push a car drawn with chalk on the floor"

Evidently I could not use my physical hands to perform the job.
As that would be tantamount to trying to dodge a bullet shot from the gun of dead shot or that old member of the league of Extraordinary Gentlemen who always put on a hat.

Evidently I did not possess any diabolical power to do the trick.
As God had blessed me with primary school classmates who were not little witches that try to initiate their school mates with puff puff or sweet.

Rara o.
If any of them had been witches, the annointing oil from Mumsi and Mrs Popoola along with the annointed bulala of Mr. Edetan would have binded and casted out that devil, Hallelujah?! Amemmm.

I went for the last option then.
Choosing to redraw the car to make it appear to be moving in slow motion.
An action which would have made those seniors pounce on me and beat me like the secondary school boarding house student tries to make eba using the 'fe she lu' method.
A method where you rain down blows on the poor eba to make it strong since it is being prepared with cold water.

Before the seniors could pounce however, Iya Itunu the matron passed by and rescued us immediately.
Ordering us to quickly rush out to help Iya Ajoke carry her loads to her office after the latter had visited the former for a chat.

Just like yesterday, that God is still saving us.
#Bashorun

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