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Stats: 2,716,006 members, 6,420,186 topics. Date: Wednesday, 04 August 2021 at 02:57 AM
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 12:39pm On Jan 22, 2020|
meekest:Baddest of the baddest... You know as e dey go na.
Welcome back, bross. I hail oh.
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 8:08pm On Feb 02, 2020|
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 8:47pm On Feb 14, 2020|
Random 1 for the road...
Make today for nor just go like dat.. Make ona use dis one tey press.
That moment you realized that you not your lover's lover. Wait fess, so your nor be your babe guy. **lol*
You know that feeling your lover told you they were not around, only for you to find them with someone else in a bar you went to chill n clear ur head??
Shebi e go be like say na bad dream... only you go dey wish say make e nor be true.. That shii would fvck your emotion up different if you truly love her.
E go be like say heart attack wan hold you.. like say the whold place dey rotate.
Its at such moment the red flags you ignored starts replaying in ur head.. One mind wee na be laughing you, calling you a Mumu man (you dunno nothing)
You were blindly and foolishly in love.. You go even lose appetite, instanta..
Dis one na bae wen dun wed for your mind already o... even if you neva propose to her for real life sef. (Chai)
Bar man, brings bottles, na so you tey drink, hoping say e go make your head clear or wake you up from the bad dream.
Before you know it, you that haven't drank more than 2 bottles in your life before, you dun down 6ix bottles and dey signal bar man for more.
Na then you con realize say those times wey your guys dey jokingly call you mugu, na the actual truth dem dey talk.
While your mind is running wild in different directions, then you'd remember the last you both made love. You go con dey reason how she tey sweet.. sweet in the middle.
All these while you dey compose yourself o.. "man nor dey cry," would be ur consoling thoughtz until
the thought of how she screams your name while her kitty squeeze n cream ur lil soldier..... hits you.
*sniffs** 1st tear drops, you go clean am, say maybe na pepper enter your eyes. (Hard guy nor dey cry)
2nd tear drops, you clean am, " e be like say na the onions wey i slice ystrday dey make me cry now so o," you would say in defense.. (bros wee you keep kwayet?)
Cry in peace joor. Na break, your heart break, your nor kee person.. **lol**
The bar man brought the 7th bottle and noticed the tears flowing from your eyes.. " hello sir, is everything okay?," he asked, concerned.
" what kinda question is that, do i look like everything is not alright... ogbeni mind your business oh, make i nor change am for you, if na your babe anoda person thief, shey you go dey alright ni," you wee want to reply bt... You nor fit just cast yourself like dat nA.
" I'm cool bruv," you wee reply, with that mind your fvcking business look.
While you forming James Bond for innocent bar man, you con see as the guy dey kiss your babe, sorry, ex babe... she con smile smile like dat goat head for ukodo..
"So na dat guy go dey enjoy her now??"
"Where i tey Bleep up??" You wee ask yourself.
"But me and her nor get any issues before o, we even talk well yesterday night na.... Wetin dey occur??
The next thing wey go sup be say, you dun dey cry dey laugh.. E con be like say na crase wan start so...(chai, village people why today??)
Small small, people dun dey observe you with style, dey reason weda make dem tie you with rope or not..
Omo, you shouldn't be the imaginary bros in this story oh.
Nor go let "i too love her" make you drink sniper con go die, incase ona relationship cast oh.. cos, once you die, na you lose.
So while you love with your heart, use your brain.. Dem say "love dey turn person to mumu" dat one na lie from the deepest part of hell.
Yea, in relationship, there's enough room for compromises, but.. You should know when your lover is being manipulative or fooling you.
Relationship na "lean on me" nor be "press me die" ( shey you get)
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|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 11:43am On Mar 05, 2020|
Ok, i just enta the skul dey collect fresh air while i dey waka under the tree shades....( Nature is sweet mhen)
I was close to the Faculty Of Law when one security patrol vehicle stopped beside me..
I nor kukuma send, i was jejely listening to some cool jam n enjoying the atmosphere o, when one of the security personnel called me..
" oga , pull your cap," he said while i walked towards him with 'kilo shelenle' look on my face.. (wetin dey sup)
I hold my cap, look back n front with within 15secs dey observe weda i go see any guy wey wear cap.... I nor see, before i pull my cap o.
Yesterday, on my way to somewhere in Dolphin estate, Ikoyi, na so i lost go Falomo oh. LATSMA officers sef nor know d place. Thanks to Google map,
If you saw someone running, jogging n strolling from Obalende to Dolphin estate yesterday morning when the weather threatened to rain, na me you see o.
Now i understand why some people where wailing about the okada ban.. (it's part of exercise joor, lock-up) ** runs out**
Adventure wee nor land me in problem one day sha, Amen.
If you are reading this now, I'm sitting under the cool shade opposite ICT office, LASU, enjoying nature n observing.. I've seen some fine baes on hijab sha... I wee nor talk.
Eko ni baje oh.. Ayii
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 10:32am On Mar 06, 2020|
My people, ona dey alright abi?? Yess
Ok, I'm on transit now.....
I for say, "E be like say dem use traffic tey swear for Lagos oh," bt, i nor go talk am..
Destination: Elegushi beach
If you're around, holla..
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 7:29pm On May 08, 2020|
Dear anonymous liker, I owe you an update..
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 8:43pm On Jun 20, 2020|
E dun tey oh..
The next day saw me in class taking notes while a female lecturer explained from her textbook.
As a student, I realized that most lecturers set questions from topics that they stressed on in class. They may not actually give Area Of Concentration (AOC), but, they don’t fail to give hints- that’s why its not good to miss lectures.. (Wisdom101)
I felt a tap on my shoulder, and when I looked back, “ good morning, bro, please let me see your note,” a guy said.
He looked calm on his afro plus his face wasn’t familiar.. I may not know the names of all my course mates but, I know most of their faces, the regular ones though.
I signaled him to wait while I completed the sentence I was writing. Na the reason why I like to dey sit down on my own be dat o, no disturbance..
After the lecturer left, I gave the guy my note and he flipped through some pages.
See ehn, there are 2 types of lecturers;
The ones that gives bulky notes (Old skul)
The ones that likes explanation (New school)
The old school type would make long notes, explain every point in depth. It’s when you are reading such notes that you’d come about who invented the full stop (.) and what led to it.
Omo, these set of lecturers would make you copy notes till your hand go numb. If you don’t have sense, you would be tempted to hate such lecturers cos their period is always boring.
Most times, they do this cos that’s how they were taught back then. Dem go dey make person dey write note for higher institution like say biology note for secondary school.. ** runs out**
The long notes is their bad side.. These types are mostly intelligent. If you ask them questions, they’d take their time to explain and give examples that would make you clear any confusion you pertaining to the question you asked.
SENSE101: Never hate a lecturer! Cos if you do, that’s first class ticket to hating the course he/she takes, and if you hate the course, there’s no way you’d understand it… How would you write an exam for a course you don’t understand? Na big fail and Carry Overs you go get o.
If you carry bomb (expo) enta exam hall, you fit still no blow(pass) o.. There are some levels to these things. If na lecturer wey nor dey collect offering….. (ayele oh, ibosi oo for you be dat o)
The summary of the plenty talk be say, nor hate lecturer n their course.
The new school type of lecturer would make you enjoy class.. This type makes class fun. They treat the main topics, without going off key. Dictating long notes is not their thing.
Some half-baked new school lecturers dey sha… Na those type you go ask question, and cos dem nor know am, dem go give the whole class as assignment.
“ what do you use your smart phones for? To Facebook, Whatsapp and watch videos?,” this is 21st century, make research with your smart phones.. Na their anthem be dat.
The way he complained made me ask if he hasn’t been coming to class all these while.. “ today is my first day of resumption, bro, I has admission issues,” he said, wearing a sad countenance.
Yea, we don’t always get what we want in life, things go wrong, and come out opposite of what we’ve planned, most times.
Problem lies in the fact that, some people always want to have it all rosy, and when life happens, and things go sour, they tend to get depressed or at worse, commit suicide.
Matter be say “you for try live life for the moment ” , so dat too much expectation nor go Bleep you up o.
I told him to calm down, gave him my notes a my timetable. That was how J and I became friends. He did keep seats for me sometimes and give me updates. The boy later made friends with some group of babes along the line, he was solid G.
I brought my phone out and was surfing when some of our course mates mounted the podium. I just dey observe make I know wetin wan sup when I receive one message.
“ I’m in your faculty, are you free?,” was the content of the text. It was a strange number. I was trying to figure out who the sender could be when… “ GREAT NIGERIAN STUDENT! (class echoes Great!) GREAT GBA-GBA (gba-gba)! GREAT GBIM-GBIM! (gbim-gbim) GREAT GBO-GBO!.
“We want to organize our departmental dinner night, and we want each and everyone to participate becau……” A slim, dark skinned girl was saying with her forced accent before someone shouted “ how much?,” from behind.
“ we are coming to that, like I was saying, we want every one to…..,” she continued. “go straight to the point, how much last joor?,” The unknown voice shouted again and the class erupted with laughter.
The speaker for the group was getting pissed but, she tried to control herself. Cos she know say if she use gra-gra do am, nothing go came out..
“NA WHO DEY FIND SOMETHING, IM HAND DEY LONG” Na so our forefathers talk am. While the group of students on the podium were trying to know who the unknown interrupter was, one of their fellow comrades spoilt their chance.
“ that fool should keep fooling himself oh. If you don’t have sense at this age, you can never have sense again in your life!,” a fat boy, among them said.
“ na your papa nor go get sense again, iddiioootttt! wey you, fly comot from dat place now before ogun go kee you now,” a tall, lanky boy said from behind and we all watched at the drama that was about to occur.
“ so you are the senseless fool that refused to have sense right, you reek off stupidity! Extraordinarily useless!,” the comrade at the front fired at the identified intruder..
“ na only one person get all those insults? Chineke!,” a voice shouted amidst the laughter and, it seemed to increase the intensity of the laughter.
“fatty 1- skinny 0,” another voice added.
“ you wen fat leave sense dey open dat your pig mouth dey talk to me abi. Nor be your fault, na poly cause am,” the lanky boy said in defense.
“ You bony structure, if you don’t respect your old age, I’ll break you into 2 pieces, just try me” Fatty fired back at him.
His fellow comrades were trying to calm him down when his opponent threw a sachet water at him. Splassssssh. His shirt got wet.
“Skinny 2 –Fatty 1,” another shouted,..
E DUN BURST!
All those while, I dun forget say person text me oh. Even gimme 3 missed calls join sef. I just dey enjoy the free show wey my fellow students dey perform.
Meekest and Dafe came to my department and they enjoyed a bit of the show before it ended. Things escalated and got physical before some security personnel came to whisk them away.
“ Efe, why you nor dey pick your babe call na, we dey 2geda since o,” Meekest said as we stepped outside.
“ guy, which babe be dat again na,” I asked, confusedly.
“ I talk am, Blacky you too dey lie, time wen I for tey scope the babe, you say na Efe babe.. How e con be now?” Dafe fired at Meekest while Meekest folded his arms and looked at me, shaking his head.
“ nor dey look me like dat, who you dey talk about?,”
“check your phone, who give you missed calls?” Meekest replied, refreshing my memory.
“ oh, na dem Bee you dey talk about before so..”
“ As you get the babes dem many so, bros, make dem gimme one na, only dis one,abeg” Dafe said, teasingly.
“ no be only one, I go give you all of dem.. Yeye somborry,” I replied.
We were walking towards the canteen when Peace n Tiko approached us. They lived in the lodge next to Meekest’s.
“ ona dun come all the way from faculty of Engineering com worry Business faculty babes abi and lecturer dey ona class o,” Dafe said after exchange of pleasantries.
“ if we no worry them, wetin we gain, only ona no go fit chop dem finish an, we say make we come help ona small” Tiko replied and we laughed.
“ Dafe, since you dun fashi Okuna so, pass the control make I continue from where you stop na.. The babe con dey set for my eyes everyday o,” Peace said and we all kept quiet, waiting for Dafe’s reply.
To be continued....
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 10:10pm On Jun 20, 2020|
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 11:10pm On Jun 25, 2020|
This update is dedicated to Meekest. A diehard Liverpool fan I know.
The boy fit scatter full area in defense of Liverpool.
He nor mind fight the rest club fans till him liver pull.
That was how the boy forgot he had a date with a bae in school cos of Liverpool Champions league match.. Dis one na babe wen fess give am tough time o.
The broda chose Liverpool's match over a date.
" bros you for go track d babe, then watch highlight later oh," I told him, but he refused.
" na live match dey sweet pass, the babe nor dey run. We can always reschedule the date," he replied me that evening.
The painful part be say Liverpool con lose their match dat day, the nigga lost both ways. It ended in premium tears (Story for another day)
Meekest, congratulations on Liverpool's new whip (lastest Epl Champion). After a whole 30years!
In all the years of Liverpool's trophy-drought, you stayed loyal. Your loyalty strong pass all Arsenal past and present fans own..
I pray that you transfer dis loyalty, love and unwavering support to your.... you-know
See, awish na me get Liverpool club ehn, I for make you assistant coach or give you 10% of the club shares, for life! A true ride or die fan..
E just dey pain me say who get the club and the players nor even know whether you dey exist or not. . (na joke o) ** runs out***
That's the beauty n fun of sport and any other biz sha; they are nothing without their loyal fans/customers.
Dafe and Okuna’s history, according to Dafe.
“It was during Post/UME period. I come process my form that day. After I finish, the bus when I enta dey go back to Warri, na me be last person wen complete am.
As we dey go, one babe con answer call near me. Na her accent nai first blow my mind. The babe was flowing Queen’s English mehn!
When she dey call money ehn, instead of her to say 1thousand naira, she go say “ a thousand naira”
Omo, as the babe dey make the call dey go I con start to dey observe her well. She fresh like today bread. Her chest package gallant. Na once I start to dey plan how I go take make her my babe o.
I say if I make dis girl my girlfriend, my life dun set be dat. Na once I thank God say I choose DESPO for my Hnd o. Maybe na my future wife be dis sef. As she dey make the call dey go, her phonetics just dey make me feel alright.
As she make the call finish, I nor waste time oh, I start conversation sharply. When she observe me, I balance for appearance.
“ It seems you came to process your form too, what department?,” I asked her with my smooth English too. I nor fit dull myself na. Omo na once she reply me o, con even smile join sef.
When she smile ehn, awish she fair before, I for think say she be ogbanje cos she too fine. From talk to talk, I ask her where she dey stay, she say na Warri too o. Na once my joy battery full.
I reach my bus stop, I nor gree come down o, cos the mission neva complete. I collect her control and dial am to confirm before I save am. She say her name an Okuna.
After I collect the babe number finish, over-happiness make me forget my change for driver sef but, I nor reason am. As far as I achieve dis ajebo babe control, I dey alright.
Na so I start to dey put am for her body, she dey reply well, her mind dey, The Lord is good! Body sweet me. Na once I con dey give my previous chicks attitude cos I wan dey faithful to dis angel wen dey occupy my heart.
Along the line, she con tell me say she dun rent house and pay her school fees. She ask when I go resume. I jus tell her say I still dey gather body together first before I come school… unto say my house rent neva complete.
“you can come and stay with me for the while before you get accommodation,” she reply me that evening. See ehn, happiness wan finish me but, I con ask her again to dey sure. She repeat the same thing.
As a guy man, I tell her say I nor wan inconvenience her, and thank her. For where, she no gree o. “ Am I complaining, do come and be my company joor” she reply with her voice wey sweet like sugar.
Omo, na so I arrange foodstuffs and carry one bag go school first the following week o. Before I reach her side, she dun tidy egusi soup wen she wan meat suffocate. So dis babe sabi cook join her freshness and intelligence.. I die here!
The first 3 days go well o, na from the fourth day she con dey perform some kine activities. I nor rush her unto romance things o even when she dey gimme green light sef.
Na one evening when she dey make one kine long call, she con pass phone gimme say make I talk to her boyfriend, na there I tey weak.
I first dey get hope say all those ones na format until she tell me say the guy dun engage her. After that day na once the babe con dey show her real character o. Get one day wen she lock me for house go skul sef.
If me and her dey eat ehn, she no get chills o. She dey follow me dey drag eba sef. I see am say na me con dey buy foodstuffs for house, na once I go house go gather myself o.”
To be continued..
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 9:26pm On Jul 01, 2020|
Hard guy, hard guy....
First day trading, you lost, e con be like say person wan diee.
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by EAhumble(m): 8:22am On Jul 02, 2020|
Baba go and learn how to trade, or else you will blow multiple accounts
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 9:19pm On Jul 02, 2020|
Baba be feeling like boss trading Demo.. He barely lost any trade in demo.. Bros dun think of how e go take carry $200 to $200k but market makers had a different plan for the bros..
After practicing with Demo account for a while and considered himself a professional in the game of Fx, d broda decided to start making d dollErs on the 1st of July 2020.
After all, 2020 is the year of prosperity (till coro baby came n gave everyone general-market)
" If I start now, atleast before December I dun buy by Bugatti and estate for Asokoro for Abj and Lekki," he thought.
If only he knew! (That real account and demo account nor be mate)
So it happened,
After observing the market and doing plenty analysis, nigga jumped into the market..
Dat moment wen you enta market for Buy e con start to dey Sell immediately.. Your chest wee be doing you one kine as if you wanna faint.
It was barely 10mins o, bros account dun dey red like pepper. That moment, the nigga started sweating..
"Abi I for still practice demo small sef," he said when he closed the current trade in loss of $** some people's 1month salary when converted to naira.
" I can't just lose that money like dat o, its too early na.. he said as before he opened another trade.
"Guy you for calm down observe the market well before you enta o," I told him, cos he was losing his cool (emotion dun come!)
"Wey you abeg free me, wetin you know about Fx, na today I start to trade.. Just dey your dey abeg," he replied angrily while he open several trades.
Awish I mind my business nobody for tell me word, I didn't blame him though (na me fvck up)
Few minutes later, my guy started smiling.. "I talk am say dis market nor fit just carry my money go like dat, their fadaa!" He said, showing me his trades running in profit.. (Everywhere blue pass Chelsea jersey)
"My guy, you for try close now when you dun run in profit o," I wanted to say but I minded my business.
Even Bible talk "say affliction shall not take place twice". Nor be me person go tey shine. (I advise myself)
Las las ehn, the best advice na the one wen you give yourself o" ( shey you dey get)
How e for be, when he dey run profit I con say make he close trade.. Shebi person go World people go think say I be enemy of progress or chief representative of village people..
Na so I tey day.. Dey observe the mafket.
" Efe, see lemme tell you.. In life, you have to take risk. The future and wealth is made for risk takers. My account run loss nor mean say I go close run leave the market, am not a coward!," He gave me some motivational quote.
I just sit down dey think my life. Cos awish I nor put mouth for him matter before, I for nor dey hear all these " Inspire to perspire to acquire yen yen yen,"
He continued, " You see one thing about these market makers, they know how to fool you, by making retracements candles to make the weak hearted fake out in fear and loss, I know their tricks.
Follow me , and I'll make you fisher-of-pips. Swallow your pride and come lemme show you road to make wealth," Dis one na person wen just dey trade real account for the 1st-time o.
Fx money sweet pass sugar! When your trade is running in profits, you'd feel like happiest person alive. Butttttt if it turns the other way round...... *coughs ** (ask Trueman, be go tell you)..
You'd be crying premium tears and severe financial-heart attack. And if you account bloww.. Damn it! Na there you go dey hear people dey say "Fx na wayo" out of frustration and sifia pain!
My guy was making profit and he decided to check some fundamental analysis.. The signals nor clear o, but who cares! "As far the account dey blue dey go, we die here!," he said, laughing heartily.
As we dey look, na there he enta Google tey check for the price of the latest MacBook. like Sarkodie would say "You know say money no be problem!"
The page was loading when he opened another searched for the price of Ps5.. (how much is money?) " As far say e get price, I go chest am.
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 8:20am On Jul 29, 2020|
That moment, Jeff Bezos got nothing on him. The nigga was already a trillionaire, in his thought.
"If you can think it, you can make it..." (Fx nor be eba o)
" Efe, e be like say we go enta one side later. E dun tey I sip alcohol and henessy nor go bad before o, abi how you see am?," he asked, gingerly ( with voltage wey fit burst transformer)
" If at all na," I replied smiling.
" dis Fx go hear word today.. before dis year go run out I dun buy my Bugatti and houses for Asokoro, Abuja and Banana Island for Lasgidi.. Believe!"
Na so my guy start to jam music o.. The kine voltage wen the boy get, awish Forex na Grammy, na him for carry am come Naija..
While he was vibrating and catching cruise, I pressed my phone. I thought about Don Meneski, Ikdbarbie, Favch and one Pjewelsilva laidat.. (E dun tey o, how are you guys doing.. You're doing well, I guess (ooin)
Na so we tey dey, I con receive one call. His music and lip syncing won't lemme make my call in peace, na so I con waka comot from where he dey.
The shout of "Jesussss! Jesusss!", distracted me and I ended the call while I ran inside to find out waz going on.
Getting there, I met my guy standing transfixed, holding his head with both hands.
"Abi current dun shock dis one?" I thought, while I checked if there was any naked wire around.
" Oshare,wetin dey sup?," I asked, confusedly.
" I dun die!!,"
"Who send me?"
"Shebi I for dun cash out, comot from the market since"
" I die well.. chai," he muttered,sadly.
I went closer to his laptop screen and the sight that welcomed me wasn't a pleasant one at all. The account dey reeddd, like Liverpool jersey.
"How come?" I managed to ask.
" you dey see say account dey red you dey ask me Jamb question for," he said, angrily.
" nigga don't give up, the market makers are trying to fake you out, don't be a coward. Bruv, no risk no reward," I said, teasingly.
" make I stay the market till my account go blow abi, mtcheeeeww," he replied.
This was the same personal that was telling me to aspire to acquire so as to inspire your desire yen yen yen earlier o. (Set awon motivational speaker geng)
If look could kill, I would've been dead by now cos.... The murderous look he gave me ehn... fit wipe full community.
" Professional trader account still dey blow?? Which kine yeye talk be dat one," I added, teasingly. (I gave him his words to eat)
Forex nor be childs play o.
Nor be clear eye Tman, a semi professional trader tey shout, "my account iss gone! Goonneee! Gooneeeee! goddammit! The day his trading account almost lost it's life..
Heartbreak is watching your account get blown. The pain hits different if you forget to place your SL or if network disappears when you're tryna close a negative trade and it wipes your account in the process.
The pain is crucial, it cuts to the core of hour bones, very deep. You go feel am emotionally, financially and physically. The pain comes with frustration pro-max.
Na so you go just dey para anyhow. If you're not careful, you'd be transferring aggression to innocent people around. (For free)
Advice: Don't stay close to a trader that is running on a loss oh, if not, na you dem go use the pepper-eye face.
Except those that has mastered the act of trading without emotion.
The problem was that, while he traded demo, he placed Stop Loss on his trades, but, he refused to put SL on his real account trading..
Who we go blame for the matter, his village people or his greed?
I wee put the blame on his greed sha, d bros wan pack all the osusu 1 day. Forgetting that there's what is called risk management.
Hard guy, hard guy! na once my guy weak. His trading account was seriously damaged. He just sit down for ground like say d world dun end.
The pain gets worse if you convert the amount lost into naira (severe chest pain).. Na so my guy eyes gather water like cloud before rain fall.
If you are feeling proud and intimidating others cos you have some money and you think that you've made it life already...
Try convert your money from naira to dollar fess. You go humble.. *lol**
@EAhumble, I wee bring the guy to you for some lessons.. My guy fx account nor be bomb, but e dun blow.
God no go shame us!
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|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 10:51pm On Jul 29, 2020|
When you don't have money, everywhere seems trekable. I'd think the world is walkable those times..
"After all, trekking na part of exercise," that's me giving myself motivational speech anytime am penniless and about to use my 'legedez' benz!
Na so I go dey waka dey burn calories wey I need for my life. Brokenness, it can never be well with you.
While in school, on my broke days, I was the Nigerian version of Johnny Walker, na me me Efe walker. If there a competition for trekking, I would be the world champion, no cap.
I trek sotey to enter bike con be like extravagant lifestyle. I go dey solve maths on top bike fair..
I go be like, " Efe instead of you to waste dis money tey enta bike, if you add like 50naira join, you dun buy 2 meat and 1 eba for mama Eloho restaurant wen you go carry go house then make eba put tey dey well o.
If you add #100 join, you dun buy medium sliced bread wey you fit eat 2times 2moro o.
Eat one part with indomie go class for morning and eat the remaining part with either tea, beans or groundnut.
Nor blame me, person wey no get money suppose get sense. After all, e better say I buy something with bike fair tey survive than enta bike and stay hungry after.. *Sense wee nor finish me** lol.
No reason am o, if you are shy or have self respect (not pride) that you find it difficult to beg other's for help, then you must know how to manage and make every penny you have count.
Las las we go dey alright oh but, first, lets learn to live within our means.. (E get why)
Money management is a must have survival skill. Yes, even the times wen account dry and money neva come from house, I still dey look good and smile like always. (Na broke I broke, I nor kee person) *lol*
Yes, even in the broke times, me n dem Meekest still dey go take 1 or 2 bottles once once.. Dey use liquor n yabbings tey dey drown d pains of zero-level account balance.. Get good pals, very importanter.
That's how one day after I successful trekked from school down to my lodge, weak and tired.. I dropped my bag, removing my buttons when I heard a knock on my door.
One mind say make I bone and just go baff cos I dun tire but the good mind say make I just check fess, e fit be my God sent angel.
Getting there, I met Julius, one neighbor looking at me with one kain eye I couldn't understand.
" bro, can I see you for a moment please?," he spoke with a calm voice. I was suprised cos that was very unlike him.
Although I don't roll with my neighbors, I knew their individual personality, from afar.
Julius was the loud nigga. Always wanna tell everyone he is the biggest G in d lodge. He may fool the rest people sha, but, not someone like me.
If you are from the street, you tend to have the ability to see people for who they truly are. (It's an inbuilt trait, you nor go see am buy for market!) **hehe*
When I say street, I mean the real street.. Not the yahoo street o *lol*. The street will teach you that " the empty drum makes the loudest noise"
You know that neighbor that would snub you when they are with someone or they just touched change.
Like those kind that would look down on you like you are not on their level maybe cos they rolling with certain people in uptown.
Some G-boys n Runs gal fall in dis category. Especially runs gal wen dey knack top lecturers or some chairmen for away league. For d boys, small change would make dem fell on top of the world..
Forgetting that Lucky Dube's line.. "Be good to the people on your way up the ladder cos, you'll need them on your way down" *winks**
Immediately I saw him, I remembered the day I greeted him and he looked at me before he looked away, in front of some people. Walai, the tin pain me dat day ehn. I nor blame am sha, Na me fvck up.
Seeing this nigga in my door just made the last encounter flash through my mind.
"Bro, can I see you for some minutes?," he repeated.
" I'm kinda busy, If it's urgent you can say it here, if not, we can talk about it later," I said, making my displeasure show in my countenance.
" it's urgent, okay, I'll be brief...," he said while he entered inside, uninvited. (Imagine d concobility)*lol**
" bro, your room is nice.." He started immediately he entered.
"Ogbeni, abeg go straight to the point,time no dey" I replied.
" Chill bro, am coming to that," he said.
" who's your bro, can you stop calling me bro, make we nor go get problem abeg," I wanted to tell him but decided against it, make e nor be like say my blood too hot.
" bro, I need financial assistance from you. My mum have sent me money but I haven't received it, I need like 500naira to go and check in the school ATM, I'll pay you when I get back.." he said tapping my shoulder at intervals.
He call me bro, dat one nor reach... he con still dey tap my shoulder join again(can you just imagine) Shebi awish I press conk for d boy boy teeth dat moment world people go say I too do.
" you need money to goan check your account balance yen yen yen.. Shebi me dat just trekked down from skul, I don't know how to enta bike ni.. Abi as I waka for d sun so, I die??," I wanted to say but, I lock up.
" I don't have that money," I replied point blank.
You see some people ehn, if they want something from you, they would form loyalty and humbleness till they get what they want from you and after that... you'll get to see their true colors.
That particular day, I didn't have 500naira to spare, who naked nor dey put hand for pocket.
I knew that anything that made me give him that money, na voice-mail e dun enta be dat... Cos I won't draw him to pay me and he wouldn't bother to payback.
"Okay, give me 200naira, I'll give you back first thing when I return," he requested.
Well, that little calm voice whispered to me to help him out. I felt sorry for the nigga cos I felt it could be me. Life can play a fast one on anybody.
So, I sacrificed the money I saved from trekking and gave it to him.
Although a part of me told me to forget about the money and consider it dash, but one small part was hopeful..
As I gave him the money, he smiled.
"Guy, incase of next time, you don't enter someone's crib uninvited," I wanted to tell him when I remembered...
How a neighbor's friend came to collect something one day.
She just knocked once and entered inside.
"What if I was naked?," I asked her.
"Na small challenge na," she replied. No mannaz!
I smh and gave her that "you think say you dey wise, you are a mumu girl!" Before handing her what she came to collect n locked my door.
If you don't have courtesy or manners and you think you're WOKE..
This is what I have to tell you... in Asari Dokubo's voice,
" You be MUMU!"
After Julius left, I freshened up and decided to have cassava flakes for lunch but notticed there was no sugar.
On a normal day I would've managed salt and garri oh but... It wasn't a normal day. Considering the distance I trekked from school under the scorching sun.
Na so I wear nika and shirt say make I go buy sugar unto to say I enjoy the garri to the fullest. (Shey you dey get)
I walked down to Lexuz bar to buy my sugar in peace but on getting there... guess what I saw there.
It was Julius oh!
The same neighbor that I gave my hard-earned 200naira to... buying cigarettes and tom-tom with the very money I gave him. Yess, I saw the money. (Chest pain)
He was shcked to see me at first before he smiled, took his things and went to sit with some guys at the bar section.
"Shebi na the school atm wen you wan go be dis?," I wanted to ask him but I decided against. (Next time dey)
As far I dun give am the money, he fit do anything he like with am abi.. Whatever he does with the money was no longer my business as far he'd pay back but...
The fact that I won't get the money back from him and what seeing what he bought with the money weakened me.
Money that I would've used to buy bread or sumtin light to compensate myself for the trekking I trekked earlier.
E con be like say me wen save that money no get sense, chai! (Sifia pain o)
Ok, guess who is plus 1 today?? Your's truly
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by superability(m): 6:05pm On Jul 30, 2020|
Happy birthday in arrears boss...
More money to ur bank account. And above all, I pray that God will not cease from withholding his grace and mercy from you.
No mind some of us ghost readers o...
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 10:18pm On Jul 30, 2020|
Body sweet me!
I wish you same n more. Osheyyy
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by daddio(m): 10:35pm On Jul 30, 2020|
You are a perfect model of God’s gift to the world. May your day be filled with God’s blessings, love and happiness. Happy birthday.
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 7:38pm On Jul 31, 2020|
My head is just bigging oniown..
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 8:10pm On Jul 31, 2020|
"Eyes wey nor see wen onions dey naked, nor go cry" - Efe, 2020.
An event could reveal a whole lot of hidden things to you within a twinkle of an eye- and the revelation could change some things, forever.
Being inquisitive is cool till it gets you to know some things you'd have be fine without knowing...
Like Oga "Golden Bololo" would say, " "It's All Good!"
AWsnFLsH. E Be Things
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by mhizv(f): 10:38am On Aug 01, 2020|
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by Tobitrueman(m): 7:40am On Aug 02, 2020|
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 9:45pm On Aug 10, 2020|
If your father na Police/Sars, you suppose dey go deliverance once once oh cos normally ehn, e nor suppose better you.
Unto say many people go dun lay curse on (mostly the innocent ones)
99% of the uniform men(especially Police/Sars) are heartless and like Fela called them, "animals in human skin"
Do you think Nigeria will be better any soon?
I laugh at you in Swahili. (You berra wake up from fantasy island)
I'm optimistic but at the same time, let's be realistic here.
A country that has degenerated and still degenerating won't just change overnight...
Police/Sars dun harrass you before??
If no, you wee nor understand. (Believe me)
Yea, the North is like another country on it's own when it comes to Police/Sars harassment.. They got nothing on the Northerners (if you doubt try ask dem)
If you hear say I vex join army tomorrow... con dey use policemen/Sars dey do frog jump anywhere I see, hope you no go vex for me.
In Nigeria, it's fight for your life before you fight for your right. ( is it supposed to be so?)
E get wetin sup today ehn... I go drop d update 2mao.
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by mhizv(f): 8:12am On Aug 11, 2020|
2morrow Don pass oya update
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 7:47pm On Sep 10, 2020|
This was your first comment that earned you the
1st-lady here. You may not know what this comment meant to me back then. E ginger me, walai..
HBD fine yarinya, I wish you Long Life n Plenty Money...
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 8:55pm On Sep 10, 2020|
And so it happened, on my way to Warri when those legal criminals stopped our cab.
Twas a public transport and I happened to be the only young guy in the midst of an elderly driver and some babes.
They stopped us, asked everyone to come down. We obeyed and they searched us before going to the booth of the car and asked those with bags to come identify theirs.
As we reach there, na me the officer just ask direct say make I carry my bag. I showed him, he opened it and open sighting a laptop he smiled, devishly.
He must have thought, "hand dun touch you today!"
He asked the rest passengers to go back inside the car and asked for my receipt which I gave him without stress.
He carried my laptop and asked me to follow him while he walked towards their hilux parked close to a bush beside the express way.
Even with receipt tendered to them with model number n everything, One of dem remove battery say make I show am serial number.
I gave him that "oga are you normal laidis" look.
While one was checking me, another officer brought one girl to where we were.
"You neva still bill that guy since? If he nor wan cooperate carry for hilux make we go drop am for station na...
leave that one first, come attend to this babe," he told the officer attending to me before handing him the girl's iPhone X and left.
That word vex me ehn.. I was like, "Bill me for wetin? I be like yahoo boy for your eyes?"
That statement made the guy hot n cold that moment.
I just let the guy know say no level for my side. "Oga wait fess o, na everybody wen get lappy dey do fraud? Abeg check wetin you wan check make I comot, I get class to attend,"
" No worry, by the time I dun handcuff you, you go calm down," he said, shouting at me in a bid to frighten me (me wen dun dey para already)
" Oga, put handcuff for my hand unto wetin? You asked for my receipt I tendered it. You asked the cab I entered to leave, na so ona dey do?
Do you even know if I don't have any means to continue my journey from here? That one you do nor reach, you dey tell me say you go put handcuff for my hand... for wetin na?," I fired back at him. (Para pro-max activated)
" my friend will you keep quiet? You nor dey fear?," he asked me, sampling his gun so I could see it. (Format to instill fear in me)
"Oga, ayam not your friend and I have been quiet hoping you do your job and allow me leave but I don't know what you are upto.. Oga I nor be yahoo, lemme make I dey comot, I dun late for where I dey go," I replied him, angrily.
That time ehn... I dun dey drop my home training for ground small small. You see those guys, if you too dey calm, dem go do you take 2secs.
" wetin you dey talk from that your mouth sef?," the officer held his gun, opened the cartridge, revealing the live bullets before closing it.
That moment ehn, I advised myself to be calming down cos the idiot could be trigger happy.
If dem deliberately shoot person finish.. na *"accidental discharge"* go be their excuse. (Is nor my life they wantu gamble with)
Worse they would do to him for killing someone is dismissal, or some years imprisonment. But then, a life has been wasted (just laidat)
The best they would to the victim's family is compensation.. Forgetting that no matter the amount of compensation, it doesn't worth the life of the victim. The pain it would cost the family...
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by Sunepal13(m): 3:04pm On Sep 15, 2020|
I don land o . Make una welcome me
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 1:38pm On Sep 18, 2020|
In Indaboski's voice, "who born you? Where are you from? How do you exist? And most importantly..... Who you? "
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 1:51pm On Sep 25, 2020|
Today is another reminder that a friend was born on this date, some years ago.
I don't have much friends and that's because I know the difference between a friend and an acquaintance (Big difference walai)
Mheen, we've been through thick and thin.
Yess, me and you dun drink garri together with only salt and no sugar when nothing dey account.
Me and you dun still dey activate for some sides if small tin dey the account too.
If you nor dey how dis story for tey sweet?
To a friend turned Family, HBD Meekest!
I wish you Long Life, Good Health n Plenty Money!
I still remember how our 2 dey go hunt
Dat time when you n that Buccaneer guy get issues for Gbokodo board.
And when Junior use your Atm card wipe your account use your money join gbess go GH.
Abi na when our 2 dey compete for K**e ..
If you think say I go forget about those times wen we(Owos, Daflex me) dey comot from arena for you if dat ur **** dey come play match only to discover say Nothing Came Out ehn.
The story still long, na just time neva dey... I go talk reach there and open all the chapters.
Man like Meekest, if this guy was a footballer, his best position would be a defender, nigga got my back at all time.
One of the very few persons I could leave my glass of drink with when out boozing. (NB: It's not advisable! don’t try this if you are not me, or have my type of friends)
To the Coke Ambassador I know till an encounter with one babe made you backslide from the coke ministry a bit.
"You are not man enough!"
That statement hunted my niggi for sometime (walai).
When I was telling him to reduce his sugar intake those while even before the match, the bros think say na carry talk I dey.
Na till babe tell guy man dat word before he realize say him dun jonze!
(Lemme off my mic fess)
NB: You're not man enough nor mean say make you go take trams and other drugs with harmful side effect tey impress any babe oh. (Use your brain)
Meekest 1 of Africa,I wish that your dream of owning a casino come true.
Happy Earth Strong bro! More life n more Winnings!
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by superability(m): 4:43pm On Sep 25, 2020|
Happy birthday Meekest
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by meekest(m): 11:58pm On Sep 25, 2020|
Thanks my bro for life, but you just make me remember those days. Flashback............................................................................... smiles and wonderful memories is all I can recall. Thanks for being a true and wonderful friend
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 10:53pm On Oct 01, 2020|
So today is independence day?
Nigeria at 60!
that's what I see on every blog and website that I visited today.
Did I talked about WhatsApp status? It was flooded with different variations of gReen White Green...
Accompanied by sweet messages.
I just looked and passed by.
Wasn't even ready to ask people questions that could make their happy mood cloudy. Nah, Am not a preacher of hate.
But… is talking the truth about reality really hate?
In this part of the world, most times, you just can't correct someone without sentiment… without you being tagged a hater! Like seriously.
Only a handful of people can handle constructive criticism without taking offense or thinking you're a devil's advocate.
To the 98% that only want to hear songs of praises even when they're about falling into a ditch… I pray you survive it and learn to balance things up after.
Back to the 9ja matter…
It's supposed to be our father's land abi na our mother's land sef?
Cos dem say if pikin good, na papa own but if e bad, na mama own… So, who's child is Nigeria cos her matter dun tire me!
Remember growing up, thinking the little flaws she got then would've been corrected before I become an adult… (my expectations of her turned my biggest disappointment)
Na me fvck up!
Shebi Naija is supposed to be standing shoulder to shoulder with other 1st-world country?
And I'm not even comparing her to the US of A, neither am I comparing her with other big names on the list but…
The summary of the matter be say, we're living in an ocean yet… washing our hands with spittle and begging God to send down the rain.
You see how messed up we are?
"Giant of Africa!" Abi… (if bite your nose ehn)
Have you sat down to think how many countries your international passport can take you to visa-free before? (E go shock you, trust me)
With all the resources that could make the 1st World countries to famz us for international development n other deals that would make us sit among countries that has say…
Our polithiefcians dey carry our money from here dey go love-vendor other people country. (What's ur definition of a MUMU)
The ones wen nor carry looting cross border dun hoard am for different places.
Money that's meant for the collective development of a Nation is what some people are sharing and doing as they pleases with in the name of National Cake and…. NOTHING DEY HAPPEN!
Has it crossed your mind that the powers that be are deliberately making things hard so that they could wield more control over the masses?
E be like say you nor understand.
Dem dey make things difficult cos dem know say if everywhere good and everything dey alright as e suppose be… the masses go get mouth and dey checkmate their anyhow doinz. (Shey you dey get?)
Dear Naija, don't be offended with me oh, I know it's your Bday but I'm not even happy with you… I won't shower you with accolades like those fake asses over there that would say the worse of things behind you.
It was just dis morning someone called you "Big For Nothing would be 60 today!" (walai, e pain me enta my bone marrow)
Awish you dey represent before na, I for gather boys go treat that person fvck up for misyarning but… it iz what it iz!
Instead of people to tackle our problem… we carry religion for head dey beg God/Allah to come do wetin we suppose fit do by ourselves.
Na you go say America na racist country… na thesame you nor go help another person when no come from your tribe (jus lookatew)
Do you know how much senators are paid montly in Nigeria?
Nor be my mouth you go tey hear am, gooGle iss your friend!
You dun see how much dem dey collect abi? Only their allowances and bonus go take care of many state worker… Yet and some states dey owe government workers for like 6 months o.
The one wen dey burst my head be say Government still dey borrow money join.
Shey you know say the amount when 9ja dun borrow from China, if dem divide the money among Nigerians… Na 155k you dey owe.
Naija, pikin bad nor mean say dem go disown am o, but, try change. Nor be the kine one wen 1 party laidat promise us o. I mean positive change.
Time wen I go tey write update nai I tey dey clear your fvck up so but… like Tman go talk "It's All Good"
Make I off Mic here fess, make e nor be like say na me dey Vex for 9ja pass… con dey cast her on her own Bday. (O wrong nau.. abi) but IT IZ WHAT IT IZ
Before I forget, as you dey go about hustling to make ends meet even when Govt nor send how you tey dey survive but dem wan tax you diee…
I just wanna congratulate you, e nor easy.
Many people wen nor fit chest d pressure dun commit suicide but… you still dey here, gallant like Nigerian soldiers dey push dey go.
"Tough times don't last,but tough people do" shebi you dun confirm say you dey try for your age.
As you dey grind dey go, abeg nor go dey let another man success dey make you feel like say you nor dey try o… Cos you don't know the silent battles they've fought before they got there.
As far you nor sit down dey look, I wan remind you say your own time dey come to shake the world with your own success!
Do you know that you're better than some people you're envy on social media cos of the fake life they live there? (Most of dem na for the gram o, nor go let over thinking give you depression for free!)
If you're reading this, stay strong oh.
Things aren't smooth, the future seem bleak but, stay strong.
Joy comes in the morning, when you survive the night.
If you give up, na you lose…
Like Kendrick Lamar said, "We Gon Be Alright!"
|Re: My Life At DESPO By Whizkidefe by Tobitrueman(m): 12:48am On Oct 02, 2020|
Thanks for this. God bless you
1 Like 1 Share
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