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My life at DESPO - Literature (5) - Nairaland

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Re: My life at DESPO by jamrid: 2:37pm On Dec 13, 2017
they your back bro.......Fire on
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 3:00pm On Dec 13, 2017
WHIZKIDEFE:
Continuation...
.
This episode is dedicated to all our old and new comers(readers).
.
"People's need for validation and recognition, their need to feel important, is the best kind of weakness to exploit" from law 33 (Discover each man's thumbscrew) Of 48 Laws of Power.
Pay Attention to Gestures and Unconscious Signals.
.
Erm.. Errm, Go.o.od, mor..morning, sir (i stammered).
.
"What is good about the morning? Who are you to come disrupt my class while am teaching, are you stupid? If you don't know me, go and ask around. I am Mr Ali" he replied me, shouting. .
I didn't reply him, i kept quiet while staring at him like a zombie, waiting for him to exhaust his energy before i say anything. (shey na him sabi shout pass? We go know).
" this is how people like you fail, are you better than your fellow course mates who came to class early?" he asked me. (i nor go lie, that question weak me). I felt bad for myself cos what the man said was the bitter truth.
.
" now, will you get out of my sight? Stupiid boy, you are lucky am in a good mood today. Now get lost from here, before i change my mind" he said, shouting.
Sorry Sir, sorry sir, i am very sorry, i didn't mean to disrupt your class sir. Sir, please, this is my first time of coming to your class late. Please sir, temper justice with mercy sir and i promise not to miss your class again, i said (with a sober look on my face).
.
The hall was silent, everyone payed attention to the drama unfolding between Mr Ali and i ( at that point ehn, if pin fall, you go hear the sound).
I was not sure of the outcome of things at that point, but i hoped for the best (you go fear faith).
.
I was shocked when Mr Ali held my hands, and took me to front of the class (i felt like a scape goat). The forgot about lecture and started giving us words of wisdom while i stood beside him like a statue.
" you said this is your first time of coming late to my class right? He asked and i nodded in reply. ( stil on my sober mood)
.
" thats good! Let me see your note. Mind you, if your note is not up-to-date, minus todays own, consider yourself coming back to write my courses as extension next semester" he said. (na once cold start to catch me o).
.
I brought out my note, and gave it to him shakily (you go fear performance). i did that on purpose to give him the impression that my note was not updated, and it worked!
(Ugh boys too get Doinz).
.
He smiled that kind of 'hand don touch you' smile and collected the note from me.
.
" dis boy don die for Mr Ali hand today, instead of am to dey outside jejely, he dey form staunch dey go enta class, kolo!" i heard someone (a course mate i guess) said from outside.
" come here! Go and thank your God very well. You are lucky that your note is complete. Now come and write your name in my attendance list" he said.
.
That moment, those outside started murmuring like say nor be dem dey laugh me wen the man dey bash me since. (wetin concern me? Mtcheeew).
.
I walked towards him gallantly and wrote my name on the list and smiled(My case is different!). I thanked Mr Ali, and on my way back to get a seat, i stopped midway, turned back looking at those outside like ' how e con be now? (pepper dem).
.
To be continued.....
Re: My life at DESPO by tjquib: 3:33pm On Dec 13, 2017
don't understand y you guys don't always complete ur stories.. God bless u still
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 3:45pm On Dec 13, 2017
Continuation..
.
Id clef, put am for their body
warri,put am for their body
they dont want this one for their body
.
hmm, niggas want beef where my toothpick
punchlines, i scatter hin two lips
community come, i remove quick
she never come why i go remove pr!ck.
i still dey murder ink like ja-rule clique
they emebere mudiaga omo i too spit
slowpoke dey complain say i too spit
pstee pstee count am, shey na two spit
keep me on top beef my brother who fit
you no go only lose you go lose like two teeth
when they say animal wey get horn make
him come outside
snail dey come, common common where you, go dat side
if you like wear monkey suit carry am go london
banana go still disgrace am
i swear gon
shout out to oj, otumba
three ho’s for my bed, olumba
.
monkey monkey kill monkey
gbosa!
monkey monkey kill monkey
gbosa!
monkey go always be monkey
gbosa! This Erigga's track best describes the mood of the lecture hall then.
.
While some students were angry with Ali for not allowing them entry into the class, others dey beef me cos my name enter list.
.
You will be Disgraced, If you try to touch a man that carries Grace.
(dem neva see anything).
Is it my fault that i was allowed inside the hall? (bad belle people must vex for you, no matter wetin you do, ask Duncan Mighty)
.
The fact that Mr Ali allowed me to write my name on his attendance didn't go down well with some students o (World people).
Abeg ask them(haters oshi), Nor be person dey break record?
.
"oshare, for you mind o, e be like say you get back up for this school wey dey give you mind o, you go just dey show yourself anyhow" a boy(Mark) told me while sat down.
(i dey always like dey my own sit o, but Mr Ali always ensured that the front seats gets filled before anyone occupies the back seats).
.
Oshare quiet your mouth there, you nor wise? Wetin dey bring those anyhow talk dey come dis morning now? Nor make me vex o. Abi you think say i nor see wey you dey laff me since wen Mr Ali dey yab me? I fired back at Mark.
.
To be continued

2 Likes

Re: My life at DESPO by mykh01(m): 3:50pm On Dec 13, 2017
WHIZKIDEFE:
Continuation..
.
Id clef, put am for their body
warri,put am for their body
they dont want this one for their body
.
hmm, niggas want beef where my toothpick
punchlines, i scatter hin two lips
community come, i remove quick
she never come why i go remove pr!ck.
i still dey murder ink like ja-rule clique
they emebere mudiaga omo i too spit
slowpoke dey complain say i too spit
pstee pstee count am, shey na two spit
keep me on top beef my brother who fit
you no go only lose you go lose like two teeth
when they say animal wey get horn make
him come outside
snail dey come, common common where you, go dat side
if you like wear monkey suit carry am go london
banana go still disgrace am
i swear gon
shout out to oj, otumba
three ho’s for my bed, olumba
.
monkey monkey kill monkey
gbosa!
monkey monkey kill monkey
gbosa!
monkey go always be monkey
gbosa! This Erigga's track best describes the mood of the lecture hall then.
.
While some students were angry with Ali for not allowing them entry into the class, others dey beef me cos my name enter list.
.
You will be Disgraced, If you try to touch a man that carries Grace.
(dem neva see anything).
Is it my fault that i was allowed inside the hall? (bad belle people must vex for you, no matter wetin you do, ask Duncan Mighty)
.
The fact that Mr Ali allowed me to write my name on his attendance didn't go down well with some students o (World people).
Abeg ask them(haters oshi), Nor be person dey break record?
.
"oshare, for you mind o, e be like say you get back up for this school wey dey give you mind o, you go just dey show yourself anyhow" a boy(Mark) told me while sat down.
(i dey always like dey my own sit o, but Mr Ali always ensured that the front seats gets filled before anyone occupies the back seats).
.
Oshare quiet your mouth there, you nor wise? Wetin dey bring those anyhow talk dey come dis morning now? Nor make me vex o. Abi you think say i nor see wey you dey laff me since wen Mr Ali dey yab me? I fired back at Mark.
.
To be continued
bros, you gat my attention. you are a great writer.
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 3:52pm On Dec 13, 2017
mykh01:

bros, you gat my attention. you are a great writer.
bros, na freestyle i dey o.. Nor dey make my head big abeg.. Thanks
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 3:57pm On Dec 13, 2017
tjquib:
don't understand y you guys don't always complete ur stories.. God bless u still
Bros, with all humility, please start and complete your own story.(I am your fan in advance). Just mention me when you start.. *smiles. God bless you too.

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Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 4:23pm On Dec 13, 2017
..
Re: My life at DESPO by Xteljay(f): 8:28pm On Dec 13, 2017
Bros i dey feel ur moral
Re: My life at DESPO by ikevin(m): 8:44pm On Dec 13, 2017
bros only you na confirmation......I dey feel ur write up die....ur head already dey there....much respect
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 8:47pm On Dec 13, 2017
Continuation....
.
That monday's class session came to an end, we were asked to go for entreprenuership pratical (me wey don tire). I went to meet my class rep and told him to cover for me if the need arises ( i give am 2h make he take hold body).
.
" ehen bros, oya delete dat my video from" Mega told me on our way home. Which video? I asked him. "the one wey you video me wey i high na" he replied me and i started laughing. OooKk, i nor video you o, i just tell you dat one make you for com class cos i nor want make you fail, i replied him.
.
" you no well o, i for dey house dey sleeep now, now i nor fit chat my woman before i com now, nor try am again" he playfully warned me. (see person wey i dey try carry along o)
.
Mega, i dey shame for you. So, your village people follow you com here? Dem swear for you? Nor worry, i go soon tell your father make he stop to dey send you money again cos your head nor dey house, i told him.
.
" broda, i nor know wetin dey do me o, i nor be like dis for ND1 o, i nor just like go school again, nor be my mates dey buy Venza, spider, GLK and Benz so. Like dis sef, i dey plan to enta GH go hustle sef" he replied me.
.
My people, family problem dey really worry some people o, believe me (i go talk about family problem for the next update)
.
.
To be continued

3 Likes

Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 9:06pm On Dec 13, 2017
Xteljay:
Bros i dey feel ur moral
I see you baby, thank you.
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 9:08pm On Dec 13, 2017
ikevin:
bros only you na confirmation......I dey feel ur write up die....ur head already dey there....much respect
Chairman, i hail o. Thank you
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 9:58pm On Dec 13, 2017
Continuation..
.
*Clears throat.. Ehen, if you are asked to define or say what family problem is, what will you answer?
Nothing?, ok. If you don't know what to say, i won't blame you. Maybe you haven't seen anyone affected by family problem.
(nor be your fault, i understand)
.
Now relax, let me share with you 1st hand experience of people i have seen that are affected by family problem.
.
Emeka is a final year student of Mechanical Engineering, his parents( struggling to make ends meet) ensured their first son(Emeka) doesn't lack anything ( financially and academically).
Emeka's parents are illitrates, but they vowed to take their children to any level as far their education is concerned.
Sometimes they starve themselves at home in order to send Emeka money, they did this to ensure their son is comfortable at school. (God bless our parents!)
.
Emeka was very studious at first, getting high grades in all the courses he offered( this got dem gals attracted to boy like bees around honey).
.
But somewhere along the line, the boy got carried away and started missing lectures on a daily basis, power of woman e! (the boy have joined bad gang).
Its either Emaka is with Shade today or Shalewa tomorrow,(the boy con dey change babes anyhow like bed spread).
.
.
To be continued...

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 10:26pm On Dec 13, 2017
Oya o, i have delivered(i don try for my age). Its offering (comments) time! I cannot be talking to myself (na madness be dat na). Comment!
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 10:26pm On Dec 13, 2017
.
Re: My life at DESPO by cyber5(m): 10:29pm On Dec 13, 2017
i dey with you bro


i just manage type this one; sleep dey worry me no be small

1 Like

Re: My life at DESPO by collinometricx(m): 11:15pm On Dec 13, 2017
U are nt talking to ur self ni

1 Like

Re: My life at DESPO by cue64: 12:11am On Dec 14, 2017
Person wey crase man don bite before, if he see mechanic dey come nah once he dey take off.....nah so erigga talk am.....Oshare ur head they there.....the story dey totori my left Corinthians ah swear gon

1 Like

Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 6:33am On Dec 14, 2017
cue64:
Person wey crase man don bite before, if he see mechanic dey come nah once he dey take off.....nah so erigga talk am.....Oshare ur head they there.....the story dey totori my left Corinthians ah swear gon
Lol. See my guy! IssA Trip To The South Something o. I greet you bros..
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 6:43am On Dec 14, 2017
“Challenge yourself with something you
know you could never do, and what you’ll find is that you can overcome anything.” – Unknown
.
Good Morning, Beautiful people.
*Smiles.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My life at DESPO by aluma(m): 8:34am On Dec 14, 2017
Great despo citizen we hail delta state polytechnic otefe a hallmark of fame in talent and distinction technology for eterprenurship na small of d skool anthem n I drop so shout. Out to all despolite una dey represent from d deputy c. S. O skool of engr d dey hail evry one POWER! Whizkidefe na confirm u be u television do clear
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 8:40am On Dec 14, 2017
Continuation..
.
This episode is dedicated to cyber5, cue64 and collinometricx (C ambassors) .
.
Fastforward to the last day of Emeka's last paper of his final year exam.
.
"For exam, after God, na your neck (for spying)" thats our watch word in DESPO (lol).
.
What is Expo called in your school? While waiting for your answer, let me tell what it is called in my school. It is called BOMB! Some call it Ochuko(helper), others call it Chukuli (lol).
.
" Attention please! if you are with any material that will implicate you, please, bring it out now before we start. I am the one begging you now o, please, bring it out now, don't fall a victim.
...This is your final year last paper, don't let your past year's struggles and efforts be wasted today.
That is why i begging you. For the last time, please bring any implicating material with you out now, cos If i catch you with any after this moment, consider yourself doomed!" an invigilator nicknamed (7 demon) pleaded and warned the students at the same time.
.
Incase you don't know, the man called 7 demon is not a lecturer o, he is a very, very strict invigillator (ask any DESPO student). Only the man can hold one full exam hall to ransom.(the man dey worry.
.
.
To be continued....

4 Likes

Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 8:44am On Dec 14, 2017
aluma:
Great despo citizen we hail delta state polytechnic otefe a hallmark of fame in talent and distinction technology for eterprenurship na small of d skool anthem n I drop so shout. Out to all despolite una dey represent from d deputy c. S. O skool of engr d dey hail evry one POWER! Whizkidefe na confirm u be u television do clear
lol.. See my people don dey call out, one by one o. (Deir fada!). Welcome bros, i see you.

1 Like

Re: My life at DESPO by becca2017(f): 9:57am On Dec 14, 2017
Wetin shock me, na wen 1 guy go carry soaked garri and red oil com dat nite.. "oya open him mouth, cover him nose, force the red oil for him mouth" the guy commanded. Na so dem press Mega for ground like Xmas goat, pour enough oil for him mouth.
Lmao!!!
Re: My life at DESPO by cyber5(m): 10:23am On Dec 14, 2017
Thanks for the dedication baba





Na only Nigerian students sabi nickname teachers and lectures. I dey remember some of my sec school teachers

Michael Jackson
Temple Run
Iya Baddo
Apo Egba ( sack of cane)
Swagger
Van Persie
Satellite


to mention few


FoxyFlow baba
Re: My life at DESPO by collinometricx(m): 11:06am On Dec 14, 2017
Tnx for d mention...

For mha skul na reminder or chukuli
Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 12:10pm On Dec 14, 2017
Continuation..
.
"who one die, nor dey get sense" na so our fore fathers talk am.
That parable was meant for the likes Emeka. Some students who felt touched/threatened by 7demon's pleading/warning, went out to drop their machineries (Bombs, micro chips, chukuli, Ochuko).
.
But Emeka didn't move o "na today we dey carry bomb enta hall? . Ogbeni 7demon, you nor fit catch me, i be professional for d mata, you can't see me (John Cena)" he said in his mind. (that moment devil wan use your destiny play ball).
.
The invigillators shared answer booklets among the students and the exam commenced.
" hey you, move from that seat, move to the front. You on black shirt, don't let me repeat myself, are you mad? If i repeat myself again, i'll book you(fill malpractice form) idioot!" 7demon shouted while reshuffling the students, disorganising them in the process. (dat man can scatter formation ehn).
.
When i say formation, i mean, you know that kind setting for exam wen you and your paddy dem go position for one particular area for the hall.
Some people go dey front, back, left right for easy flow of answers (you can easily ask the person sitting close to you question without being heard by an invigillator). You neva stil understand?
.
Ok, take for instance, if i sit down one seat, one or two of my guys go occupy the seat for my front, two guys go occupy the seat wen dey my back, another 2 guy go take the seats wey dey my left and right hand side, shey you don grab?( understand). Na formation be that. (incase you neva stil understand, you are on your own o)
.
Students dey fight for hall cos of the matter o, that moment wey your guy wen you resrve seat for neva com, anoda person one com seat down that seat, e fit lead to another thing o (you wan com scatter people formation abi?).
.

Scattering of student's formation is 7demon's hobby( the guy good for dat ministry), the students started murmuring and complaining, frustration don come. (why somebody go dey worry final year students for their last paper like dat, dat one no pass witchcraft?) lol.
.
That moment wey dem carry the person wen dey show you number 2 comot from your seat, how body go do you? (that was how those complaining felt)
.
Do you know that there is ginger and voltage in extra time of an exam?
.
That moment you hear " 5 minutes to go", i nor know were the confidence and speed dey com o, na there you go see students wey neva write anything dey move from seat-to- seat with the speed of light, dey go find answer. (hustling mood activated).
Na stil dat time you take see students dey copy from number 1 - 7 answer finish within 2 minutes (nor play with students o). Acada life na Survival of the fittest o, nor be about who read pass.
.

You neva write anything and you sit down for one place abi? Nor go hustle first, na big FAIL you go fail. ( dat time you go Get SENSE!)
.
NB: i am not in anyway encouraging lazyness or unseriousness o, am talking from my own experience (students life in school).
.
Make i tell something. If you see as some people take serious with their book for school ehn, you go call yourself failure..
.
But the mata be say, at the end of the day, you fit discover say you wey dey do your smal smal reading and follow up GP dey high pass dat serious person own (na sometimes i talk o (story for another day).
.
If you(student) like, make you nor go carry your book read, na Big FAIL and many carryovers/extensions you go get). No be swear o. Na real matter! Lol
.

Oya back to the matter, like dat Wizkid song.
It was '5 minutes' to the end of the exam!
.
7demon and other invigillators were collecting scripts from students they caught moving.
Emeka was already through with his questions but he didn't go out to sumbit his answer booklet (village people at work!) lol.
.
He answered all the questions off heart without help o (the boy stil sharp small).
.
"the questions too cheap, i for no bother carry Bomb sef. Abeg make i troway the ones wey dey with me go outside before all these invigillators com search person" Emaka said while bringing a piece of paper from his pocket.
.
Meanwhile, 7demon has been observing Emeka's body movement from a distance. While Emeka was searching for the bomb out from his pocket, it fell off in the process (Family problem!)
.
"hey you, stand up, don't move! Leave that piece of paper there, don't touch it. I will use you as a scape goat. Iddiioot, your own don finish today" 7demon shouted while walking towars Emeka.. ( E don red)
.
At the end of the day, Emeka filled malpractice form,. And when the date to face the School's Panel(Court) for examination misconduct came, Emeka didn't show. His frnds said, he was at home enjoying himself in za other room.
.
That was how Emeka was expelled from school after all the money spent on him.
.
Now, i will define problem as " na family problem make the Emeka nor submit him answer booklet, immediately he finish.
.
Please, my fellow and intending students, Be wise o!

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Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 12:21pm On Dec 14, 2017
Update don land o.
.
Meneski, ikdbabie, favch, kobiArts, Sayhi2certified, iruosonobrughwe, etas1001, josiah202, Princeofnigeria, emu22, migos02, michaelmo11, Lordtrailz, kaycee9242, Mhizrohzz, EKLE, Odigbosky, sunddy, buskie13, Jamrid, tjquib, myk01, ikevin,
brandon180, rumenase ,
Kingcornel, Chizzychinny, aluma, OlufemiWhit, RomeoMarvis, mhizv
.
If you no see your name, tell person.

1 Like

Re: My life at DESPO by WHIZKIDEFE(m): 12:24pm On Dec 14, 2017
becca2017:
Wetin shock me, na wen 1 guy go carry soaked garri and red oil com dat nite.. "oya open him mouth, cover him nose, force the red oil for him mouth" the guy commanded. Na so dem press Mega for ground like Xmas goat, pour enough oil for him mouth.
Lmao!!!
Welcome
Re: My life at DESPO by brandon180(m): 12:42pm On Dec 14, 2017
"King of the ghost readers"..lol, ah don step down 4rm d throne ooo,
Re: My life at DESPO by Chizzychinny(f): 1:08pm On Dec 14, 2017
Guy, make I go Junction mkt make I prepare Starch n Catfish banga soup for u. Dnt give Otomodo & CSO oo

2 Likes

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