Dear Mr B
First of all you are a terrible singer, it's only right that I start with that as your terrible singing is the reason we are both here.
Must you sing at my balcony and poo on my window, you don't see me coming to the ceiling to poo and watch telly do you? It's called privacy. You must realize that I'm a paying tenant and you are just imposing.
Can you just sleep in the day, go to bat market at night and when you come back make love to your bat wife or play with your bat children, without coming to my window to sing? Unlike you I am not nocturnal.
It is four in the morning and a every normal person is sleeping or coming back from the "night shift", but here I am composing a letter to you. You have made me abnormal. I tried scaring you with naphthalene but I ended up poisoning myself.
I'm tired mheen, I have not slept well for like decades please balance me the money I paid the landlord let me pack out. Stupid bat

why don't you tell him yourself

sulpur:
why don't you tell him yourself

Believe me I have tried, just don't know how to communicate

The stubborn co-tenant.
Some will come after me to give you an advice on how to use your co tenant as an important ingredient in a pepper soup plate. Yuck!

Is also possible that your own activities( like bleeping) in the compound is disturbing his spiritual life and he retorted to singing at your window to neutralise the negative forces from your end.
Since he chose to sing to endure your own activities, get ear muffler to endure his own and allow peace to reign!

jeffizy:


The stubborn co-tenant.
Some will come after me to advice you on how to use your co tenant as an important ingredient in a pepper soup plate. Yuck!

Bat pepper soup, mbanu!

Nwodosis:
Is also possible that your activities in the compound is disturbing his spiritual life and he retorted to singing at your window to neutralise the negative forces from your end.
Since he chose to sing to endure your own activities, get ear muffler to endure his own and allow peace to reign!

I am a model tenant, I no dey find trouble. As for his spiritual life, I don't cast and bind when praying. I only tell them forces to maintain their lane and park well away from my domot.

This is why I'm kinda scared of moving. Imagine being saddled with a mental case as a neighbor... Hian!

My young flat mate too is a strayed DJ. Unlike yours, he plays nice songs but he is a terrible sing along star. So, I just focus on the nice songs and pretend as if we both own the gbedu. The last time a friend visited, she was quite astounded that I could sleep through the blast ...who I offend? I sleep my sleep ojare...I'm patiently waiting for the day Mr. DJ would start liking oldies though

shitshappen:


I am a model tenant, I no dey find trouble. As for his spiritual life, I don't cast and bind when praying. I only tell them forces to maintain their lane and park well away from my domot.

shitshappen:
Dear Mr B
First of all you are a terrible singer, it's only right that I start with that as your terrible singing is the reason we are both here.
Must you sing at my balcony and poo on my window, you don't see me coming to the ceiling to poo and watch telly do you? It's called privacy. You must realize that I'm a paying tenant and you are just imposing.
Can you just sleep in the day, go to bat market at night and when you come back make love to your bat wife or play with your bath children, without coming to my window to sing? Unlike you I am not nocturnal.
It is four in the morning and a every normal person is sleeping or coming back from the "night shift", but here I am composing a letter to you. You have made me abnormal. I tried scaring you with naphthalene but I ended up poisoning myself.
I'm tired mheen, I have not slept well for like decades please balance me the money I paid the landlord let me pack out.

You're a pussy. Only a pussy ass nigga will come to the internet to rant instead of confronting his neighbour man to man. Is Mr B a Nairalander? No he isn't so how will he see this?

Pussy!!





Modified: Sarcasm flies over the heads of most Nigerians like fighter jets

shitshappen:


Believe me I have tried, just don't know how to communicate

But you can communicate on Nairaland?

Can I get a P?

Can I get a U?

Give me an SS!!

Don't forget about the Y!

What's it spell??


P-U-S-S-Y!!!!

Nwodosis:
Is also possible that your activities in the compound is disturbing his spiritual life and he retorted to singing at your window to neutralise the negative forces from your end.
Since he chose to sing to endure your own activities, get ear muffler to endure his own and allow peace to reign!

.

Ishilove:

You're a pussy. Only a pussy ass nigga will come to the internet to rant instead of confronting his neighbour man to man. Is Mr B a Nairalander? No he isn't so how will he see this?

Pussy!!

Omorrrr
Ishi, you go wicket the time wen u still small oo
See as you hang am for corner dey slap am for him chest, you wan kill am?
Shey you go like am if dem hang you for corner and slap your chest like that?

Abeg free man pikin naija no easy jare.


.How's your weekend going dearie?
Hope you good?

kingreign:


Omorrrr
Ishi, you go wicket the time wen u still small oo
See as you hang am for corner dey slap am for him chest, you wan kill am?
Shey you go like am if dem hang you for corner and slap your chest like that?

Kuku kee me

.How's your weekend going dearie?
Hope you good?

We bless God.

I'm still in bed lounging and I'm not leaving this bed till 2pm abeg. Lasgidi can reduce somborri's lifespan so I gats rest and recoup lost energy and vitality

Ishilove:

Kuku kee me


We bless God.

I'm still in bed lounging. I'm not leaving this bed till 2pm abeg. Lasgidi can reduce somborri's lifespan

I hear say clients dey call you for your office, you better go collect that money


Me still dey bed spread body like lizard. Ayam even tired sef

kingreign:


I hear say clients dey call you for your office, you better go collect that money


Me still dey bed spread body like lizard. Ayam even tired sef

Office phone is off and we no work today so they must be calling the wrong office.

I'm a mass of aches and pains. I can barely move my limbs

Ishilove:

Office phone is off and we no work today so they must be calling the wrong office.

I'm a mass of aches and pains. I can barely move my limbs

Kpele, hope it's not malaria or fever. Nne, ndo! you need plenty rest. You also need to spoil yourself a little.

Ishilove:

You're a pussy. Only a pussy ass nigga will come to the internet to rant instead of confronting his neighbour man to man. Is Mr B a Nairalander? No he isn't so how will he see this?

Pussy!!

I used to hold you to high esteem Ishilove, but then you are just a human. And a daft human at that, if not you would have noticed that the said Co tenant is not human. Ode!

Ishilove:

But you can communicate on Nairaland?

Can I get a P?

Can I get a U?

Give me an SS!!

Don't forget about the Y!

What's it spell??


P-U-S-S-Y!!!!

I'm sure you father dead or alive can never be half the man I am. I have proven my worth ten times over in the mountain of men. Only a cesspool with congealed sewage for brain can be this ignorant.

Ishilove:

But you can communicate on Nairaland?

Can I get a P?

Can I get a U?

Give me an SS!!

Don't forget about the Y!

What's it spell??


P-U-S-S-Y!!!!

someone is trolling on a saturday morning

not really, there is a risk of escalating tensions. its why some of us opt for the expensive choice of living alone. no neighbor drama

oyb:


[img]https://static3.fjcdn.com/comments/Blank+_26dc09123cd5e4fd3cedf45994b8493d.jpg[/img]

not really, there is a risk of escalating tensions. its why some of us opt for the expensive choice of living alone. no neighbor drama

Can you people just read between the lines. The whole thing is supposed to be humor. Smh

Ishilove:

You're a pussy. Only a pussy ass nigga will come to the internet to rant instead of confronting his neighbour man to man. Is Mr B a Nairalander? No he isn't so how will he see this?

Pussy!!

Iya Ejima! Biko be nice nau

shitshappen:


I used to hold you to high esteem Ishilove, but then you are just a human. An a daft human at that, if not you would have noticed that the said Co tenant is not human. Ode!

Good. People don't read these days. This is just "an ode to bat my neighbour" or any other title op would have given it. Is it lack of understanding or what. Seeing people calling op a coward for not confronting the neighbour is not only funny but tragic.

shitshappen:


I'm sure you father dead or alive can never be half the man I am. I have proven my worth ten times over in the mountain of men. Only a cesspool with congealed sewage for brain can be this ignorant.

Oh! So you got some mouth on you ba? why not actually confront your neighbor? Mr. Manly man!

sisisioge:


Oh! So you got some mouth on you ba? why not actually confront your neighbor? Mr. Manly man!

I was just writing an Ode to the bat on my window, I taught you understood when I told you I don't know how to communicate.

kelechiodo:

Good. People don't read these days. This is just "an ode to bat my neighbour" or any other title op would have given it. Is it lack of understanding or what. Seeing people calling op a coward for not confronting the neighbour is not only funny but tragic.

My brother, follow me see ooo!

shitshappen:


I was just writing an Ode to the bat on my window, I taught you understood when I told you I don't know how to communicate.

No I didn't think your neighbor was a bat and you went beyond board when you became confrontational. Yeah, she kicked you first but you went with all arms and legs ...enjoy your day biko.

shitshappen:


I was just writing an Ode to the bat on my window, I taught you understood when I told you I don't know how to communicate.

ishiiii

kelechiodo:

Good. People don't read these days. This is just "an ode to bat my neighbour" or any other title op would have given it. Is it lack of understanding or what. Seeing people calling op a coward for not confronting the neighbour is not only funny but tragic.

Epele o Mr Literature. Your guy would have easily used the right section nau. Not here where people share real life events. Whew, don't bring out your guns too..I'm out.

sisisioge:


No I didn't think your neighbor was a bat and you went beyond board when you became confrontational. Yeah, she kicked you first but you went with all arms and legs ...enjoy your day biko.

Sorry my chill button dey malfunction some times. Oya take one bottle of moet . Truce

shitshappen:


Sorry my chill button dey malfunction some times. Oya take one bottle of mouth. Truce

No leilei

oyb:



ishiiii

Taught or thought, she is at home you can go and wash her pants as usual. I don't need grammar in my field of endeavor.