jaykorbs:
@ GraGra247

She is making effort and intelligent, I know, I just don't want eventually end up with someone I don't love, I don't want to get married to someone out of pity, although, marriage is not in my plan for the next 4 years, I just don't want to waste her time further. On the issue of compensation, I don't the financial prowess to do all you just mentioned but I sure want to still be her friend when I eventually break up with her, assisting her in every possible way.

And my friends are not asking me to break up with her, they are actually telling me not to.

Donjazzy12:

All he needs to do is stop having sex with her. Tell her he wants to be the father she doesn't have and the brother she never had. Advice her and move on. That's it. Men have emotions too! Must he continue to deny himself because of her?

OlivetBen:


Seriously, you have spoken a nice word and God shall remember you for this.

phr33man:


In my opinion, continue with her. At least, you confessed you like her(friend) and you are sure she loves you. Your write up shows, you both understand each other.

Guy, stay with her. Because that love you are looking for don't keep marriage o. Look at the rate of divorce these days. Are you saying those couples never loved each other?

The best person you can take as your partner is your closed friend because that thing you call love will fade out by the time you start seeing the real colour of that person you claimed you love.

Guy, I know you are wise but I insist to wise up.

and I bet you will enjoy her.

It is better you settle with someone you know loves you genuinely and let the affection build in you gradually than chasing after someone who is in love with another person.

OCHKESTINE:

You are still Boyish actually. You still don't know the meaning of love. I understand u want to test waters. You have this imaginary perfect woman u'd love to end up with in ur head. Don't worry, Beyonce would divorce Jayz just to wed u.
I have been where u are. My advice is for u to redefine what love means to u. It took me 31 years to understand that "Love is not a feeling. Love is decision and also a person who makes that decision to be with u".
I'm not saying u should stay with her. Because I spent 6 years with a Girl who lost her father. Took care of her, enrolled in school( but in 300 level she messed up badly and was not grateful by cheating and becoming a big liar.
My point is, she's still young and would likely misbehave even if u sold ur kidney for her sake.
I'm saying all these for u to understand that in life, a woman that believes in u and makes the decision to stay is worth more than a million imaginary slay queens in ur head.
Observed all billionaires and see the wife they ended up with.
U're not ready for marriage yet. Focus on achieving a goal. Leave sex for now, U'll get tired of it 10 years from now.
If I must be honest with u. Break up with her. Explain things to her but expect the same to happen to u in the future.
The golden rule can not be broken for ur sake

OCHKESTINE:

You are still Boyish actually. You still don't know the meaning of love. I understand u want to test waters. You have this imaginary perfect woman u'd love to end up with in ur head. Don't worry, Beyonce would divorce Jayz just to wed u.
I have been where u are. My advice is for u to redefine what love means to u. It took me 31 years to understand that "Love is not a feeling. Love is decision and also a person who makes that decision to be with u".
I'm not saying u should stay with her. Because I spent 6 years with a Girl who lost her father. Took care of her, enrolled in school( but in 300 level she messed up badly and was not grateful by cheating and becoming a big liar.
My point is, she's still young and would likely misbehave even if u sold ur kidney for her sake.
I'm saying all these for u to understand that in life, a woman that believes in u and makes the decision to stay is worth more than a million imaginary slay queens in ur head.
Observed all billionaires and see the wife they ended up with.
U're not ready for marriage yet. Focus on achieving a goal. Leave sex for now, U'll get tired of it 10 years from now.
If I must be honest with u. Break up with her. Explain things to her but expect the same to happen to u in the future.
The golden rule can not be broken for ur sake

lawrykings:


i am in similar situation, though in my own case there's never deception from me to her, i tell her the truth anytime, even before having our first ever sex yet she still show me love even to family, she was recommended to me by my Sisters, she seem cool, well mannered, intelligent, 19 years and am 23 but my problem and what i really dont like is the fact that she is short and i am too.

the thought of the kind of short kids she will bear me when married irritates, sir pls, what do you think in my own case? thanks in anticipation

israelmao:
You will surely hurt her if you break up with her.Why in the first place did you aim at sex under the pretence of love?From your explanation I perceive you've promised to even marriage he before.It doesn't matter the kind of life she lived since your main aim was from the initial stage was to satisfy your sexual urge love was non-existent.I also discovered you've found another girl who you think she satisfies your present taste and class as a would-be graduate that's why you want to use her imaginary past against her.I hope you know law of Karma?

octopusfreaky:
Let him do the breaking up ASAP. His intentions are very bad I feel for the girl because she must fallen in love with the wrong person.

Donjazzy12:

Stop this rubbish! This same God says flee fornication. So he should continue in fornication with her? Are you cursed with foolishness?

heendrix:


my message talking about hurting an orphan your talking about fornication is your own generation cursed with naivity (lack of wisdom)

Donjazzy12:

Are you a virgin? If not keep quiet. His intentions are not bad in any way. All relationships end up in sex. So what the Bleep are you saying?

Donjazzy12:

Are you a virgin? If not keep quiet. His intentions are not bad in any way. All relationships end up in sex. So what the Bleep are you saying?

zuto4u:
This is uncalled for, u don't have to rain insults on him.

Jman06:
My dear, such heartlessness is on both sides. Many ladies do that to guys and just for the fun.
I don't support such but reading through the posts on this thread, I can see people going emotional about the whole thing. I can see many ladies raining curses on the guy, but reverse this scenario and you will see them grow thick skin and lose all empathy.

People are terribly selfish when it comes to matters of love and relationships and the op's case is not an exception. It is even better he saves the young lady the stress of having a miserable marriage just like so many women do today. Let him break up now that the girl is still young so she can find her man on time.

GraGra247:
@ jaykorbs. How can we human beings be so heartless to ourselves. I mean don't we have limits?

You knew clearly that she's lost both parents and thus life has been wicked and unfair to her yet you went ahead to tell her a lot of love lies just to have sexual advantage of her. I'm almost weeping. Why?

Your friends are telling you not to go ahead with her for what reasons really? Because she has no parents probably and is not privileged. Not that she's not good enough. She even teaches showing that she's intelligent and is making efforts.

If this girl was your sister I'm sure you will kill the man that'll use her and dump her after knowing all she's been through.

My advice: If you know you would dump that girl after lieing to her, you must compensate her heavily or the karma that will follow will refuse to be appeased.

Rent self contained for her and fully furnish it or rent a shop for her and stock it then leave by praying your sins are forgiven.

Donjazzy12:

How many of your ex's have you paid compensations to? How many self contain apartments have you rented or how many shops have you stocked?

How much have the girlfriends who left your sorry ass paid you?

Stop being silly. I know you are ugly and empty and the only way for you to get girls is by bribing them with money. You are a love-vendor!

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.

GraGra247:


I know devils like you with black blood running in your veins will show up.

Heart that is dead and filled with gravel.

Compassion - Zero

Love - Zero

Mercy - Zero

Uchihaitaci:


You just repeated what you typed to another comment? you must be retardedd?

I would so love to unleash my rottweilers on you

Caseless:
why nau? I'm supporting the girl and you still think I deserve this reply? You're funny.

Donjazzy12:

Stop this! There is no law of karma in love! Love and marriage is a matter of choice not a matter of force!

jaykorbs:
Hi nairalanders, this is my story, don’t judge me, just advice me on a way out, there is this lady I asked out towards the end of 2016, I will be frank with you, my sole aim back then was to hook up with her and for us to enjoy sex together, basically, I was just after sex. I know nothing about the lady.

She was teaching in one primary school in my area at that point in time, I said a lot of shit back then just to get her to say yes, as I got to know her, I found out she had lost both parent at a tender age and so many other things, she has really passed through a lot, herself and her junior sister.

As time goes on, the relationship gained an exponential momentum and before I could realize what was going on, my family and friends dan sabi her, calling her my wife, let me add that she is 19 and I am 24 (just wrote my last undergraduate exam a
couple of months ago, while she is currently working at one food canteen).

Over the course of 2017, I have picked up a lot of manly lessons and have decided to set my life in order in the coming year, yes, I have dropped a lot of boyish attitude and selfish characters, I can confidently call myself a changed individual, although a lot of improvement still have to be made.

As I mentioned earlier, I have decided to set my life in order this coming year, with her being part of it, the truth is, I don’t love her, but to my understanding, she really loves me, I am currently still in this relationship because I am afraid of making her sad, I am in this relationship at the moment because of pity, she will be devasted when I break up with her, my friends are telling me not to go ahead with it, that I am about to make a big mistake if I call off the relationship, I just know I don’t love her, I very much like her, but the love to consider her for marriage ain’t there. She is beside me as I type this, I seriously need help on how to call of this relationship without breaking her spirit because she is a fighter.