Good afternoon to you all, Please I need your advice.

I love everything about this guy and it is almost leading to the altar but a problem is about separating us. My Man is an Igbo man and a Roman Catholic, I am a Yoruba lady attending a pentecostal church. My Man is saying that he can't go to any other church for his wedding and it must be in his catholic church, He says their tradition in Igbo land forbid them from doing wedding in the brides church, whereas Yoruba tradition says that the wedding must hold in my Father's church not the groom's church as to give honour to my parents.

My man also said that he won't be recognized as a Catholic if he should go and do his wedding in pentecostal church. I have been having mixed feelings ever since this issue started. Please I need your input and advice.

Thanks

Hehe

Just get ready to wed in catholic church or forget abt the wedding if his mum worships in catholic church too.
You are evn lucky he hasnt converted you yet.

sinaj:
Hehe

Just get ready to wed in catholic church or forget abt the wedding if his mum worships in catholic church too.
You are evn lucky he hasnt converted you yet.

What are you trying to do, cause confusion?

To settle this, go to registry.
Very Simple

Sinaj is right..

wilsonreuben:


What are you trying to do, cause confusion?

what am trying to do? Letting her know that Catholics are strict when it comes to wedding or rites just like Jehovah witness nd some other churches.

If you think otherwise, share your own opinion nd move on.

Brooke60:
To settle this, go to registry. Very Simple

This is the best advise.

sinaj:
what am trying to do? Letting her know that Catholics are strict when it comes to wedding or rites just like Jehovah witness nd some other churches.

If you think otherwise, share your own opinion nd move on.

Let her just convert. Who send her to go fall in love with a Catholic.

Just so you know, the wedding can be done in her church if both parties agrees and the couple will also agree with the church that their children will become catholics(they will be baptised and brought up in the catholic church)

go to catholic church and register ur bands of marriage,notify d church dt u guys will do d weddin in ur church(protestant)u will attend marriag clases at catholic church/marriage at protestant and firstmass at catholic,(she authomatically bcoms a catholic member)

You don't have to marry in catholic or pentecostal church, both of you should go to white garment church. Love is what matters

sinaj:
Hehe

Just get ready to wed in catholic church or forget abt the wedding if his mum worships in catholic church too.
You are evn lucky he hasnt converted you yet.

Thanks alot.Hmmm, this is a very serious issue, his mum worships in catholic church too. I am just confused

Brooke60:
To settle this, go to registry.
Very Simple

I have brought up this issue too. He said registry is different from catholic recognized wedding.

Ladyhippolyta88:
This is the best advise.

Thank you ma. I have said it several times but he said ...Catholic wedding is the one that we must do. He even suggested that he wont mind coming down to my place as my tradition if my Dad can arrange with a Catholic church to hold the wedding here . But my Family is not attending Catholic and they won't support that suggestion from him

wilsonreuben:



Let her just convert. Who send her to go fall in love with a Catholic.

Just so you know, the wedding can be done in her church if both parties agrees and the couple will also agree with the church that their children will become catholics(they will be baptised and brought up in the catholic church)

I fell in love before I realized this issue. I have agreed to join him in catholic after wedding. But the issue on ground is the church that the wedding will take place !!

Both of you look like you're not ready to get married yet. Keep arguing church...

MYSELF2018:
I fell in love before I realized this issue. I have agreed to join him in catholic after wedding. But the issue on ground is the church that the wedding will take place !!

If you have agreed to join the Catholic faith then do the wedding in the Catholic church. You will get more blessing because you are not divided.

Don't let religion scatter what God want to join together.

He is the man, you are under him(you were equal in the beginning until ate from that tree and gave him to eat).

If he says it should be done in the Catholic church let it be as he has said.

Take my advice, don't think twice.

MYSELF2018:
Thank you ma. I have said it several times but he said ...Catholic wedding is the one that we must do. He even suggested that he wont mind coming down to my place as my tradition if my Dad can arrange with a Catholic church to hold the wedding here . But my Family is not attending Catholic and they won't support that suggestion from him

There is nothing a little discussion cannot solve both families should meet and be more open minded and I am sure you can reach an agreement denomination should not be a basis for disagreement and Happy married life to you in advance.

Like someone said. Go through the motions of attending marriage classes and bans of marriage. Then after the court wedding, have a blessing of the marriage certificate in his church. That way, his marriage to you will be recognized by his church. Then you can have your white wedding in your church. It's a long process sha but it may be able to satisfy everyone.

MYSELF2018:
Good afternoon to you all, Please I need your advice.

I love everything about this guy and it is almost leading to the altar but a problem is about separating us. My Man is an Igbo man and a Roman Catholic, I am a Yoruba lady attending a pentecostal church. My Man is saying that he can't go to any other church for his wedding and it must be in his catholic church, He says their tradition in Igbo land forbid them from doing wedding in the brides church, whereas Yoruba tradition says that the wedding must hold in my Father's church not the groom's church as to give honour to my parents.

My man also said that he won't be recognized as a Catholic if he should go and do his wedding in pentecostal church. I have been having mixed feelings ever since this issue started. Please I need your input and advice.

Thanks

to be honest with u, most igbo familes are born and brought up in catholic, secondly it's easier to convert a muslim into penticostal than to convert a catholic..

my advice to u is this, if u truly love him and want to marry him, then u have to listen to him, because after ur wedding wether u like it or not u are following him to catholic..

bt on the other, if u feel that u can't go to catholic, then call it of..

bt as a pastor i can tell u that there is no church in heaven, it does nt matter where u worship, bt what matters is how u worship..

best of luck..

I think this is an Igbo-Catholic modified doctrine. It is not purely Catholic. I have attended weddings of male Catholics in other churches. My Aunty's was one!

Miss there are about 2 factors here.

Church
Igbo/ yoruba culture


On the issue of church to wed, culturally in yoruba land it's the brides father or brides church(depending on circumstances)that the wedding is done, the point is the brides family are the ones that make arrangements for wedding both trad and white.

It seems Igbos have no problem with the wedding holding in the man's church culturally and then you now add catholic/ penstecostalism to the mix.

So your people will see your hubby's request as strange which is expected, most yoruba dad's will never allow it because they will tell you it is the man that is coming to marry the woman.

While your hubby's people will see it as no big deal.


My friends wedding was stalled for more than a year same issue

Bride- yoruba/ baptist
Groom- igbo catholic

The grooms mum was the fore runner of the you must come to the east for the church wedding and the yoruba people were like we don't do it that way where we come from, it's you guys that must come to southwest in our own church it was not a small matter.

I did notice that other Igbos of other denominations really don't have an issue with this it's only the igbo catholics that insist the wedding must be in the grooms church, it sounds more like culture than the Catholic doctrine.

nobody was right or wrong, it's just the way things are done differently.

Madam you have a lot on your hands, you won't want to hurt your family and he wouldn't want to hurt his and unfortunately nobody is right or wrong it's just the perspective each is coming from.

ok,im catholic we do something called mixed marriage,that is marriage with ousiders,we can marry them n allow them continue their church.See with ur fiance pls,if he doez not wed in d catholic fold,he ceases to be a communicant,may not participate in major things.If u love him,do a mixed marriage for peace

MYSELF2018:
Good afternoon to you all, Please I need your advice.

I love everything about this guy and it is almost leading to the altar but a problem is about separating us. My Man is an Igbo man and a Roman Catholic, I am a Yoruba lady attending a pentecostal church. My Man is saying that he can't go to any other church for his wedding and it must be in his catholic church, He says their tradition in Igbo land forbid them from doing wedding in the brides church, whereas Yoruba tradition says that the wedding must hold in my Father's church not the groom's church as to give honour to my parents.

My man also said that he won't be recognized as a Catholic if he should go and do his wedding in pentecostal church. I have been having mixed feelings ever since this issue started. Please I need your input and advice.

Thanks

let me tell you the simple truth. your man is trying to help you, if you are married in his Church he is sacramentally tied to you and cannot divorce you without a serious back lash from his Church.


let me explain.

Catholics consider marriage to be a sacrament... that means it is an effective means of grace by which God sanctify and bless a union of man and wife, for us that Union is so deep and that it mirrors the Union of Jesus and his Church... thus marriage now has an intrinsic Christian character....that it becomes indissoluble, stable and self given... I don't even know if you will understand this... it is not found in Protestant theology. you may check the thread for Catholics if you really wish to understand it.



to cut a long story short a Catholic is only recognized are sacramentaly married if he weds in his Church, or seeks and receive dispensation to be married in your Church.

without this, his Church will not recognized this so called marriage and it will be as if you guys are just living together, he won't be able to receive communion. in fact If you guys divorce tomorrow his Church would not even care because he isn't considered validly married.
this is very serious.

he needs a dispensation to get married in your Church or you marry in his....

it is important the guy isn't trying to be rigid... where a Catholic marries is a very valid concern.

MYSELF2018:
I have brought up this issue too. He said registry is different from catholic recognized wedding.

registry isn't recognized as sacramental marriage in the Catholic Church... in fact he won't be allowed to receive communion

MYSELF2018:
Thank you ma. I have said it several times but he said ...Catholic wedding is the one that we must do. He even suggested that he wont mind coming down to my place as my tradition if my Dad can arrange with a Catholic church to hold the wedding here . But my Family is not attending Catholic and they won't support that suggestion from him

ask him about a dispensation... he need to see a priest and his bishop.

but his family won't like it and it will take time.

wilsonreuben:



Let her just convert. Who send her to go fall in love with a Catholic.

Just so you know, the wedding can be done in her church if both parties agrees and the couple will also agree with the church that their children will become catholics(they will be baptised and brought up in the catholic church)

they need a dispensation to do that

chinene1:
Like someone said. Go through the motions of attending marriage classes and bans of marriage. Then after the court wedding, have a blessing of the marriage certificate in his church. That way, his marriage to you will be recognized by his church. Then you can have your white wedding in your church. It's a long process sha but it may be able to satisfy everyone.

this may work...
blessing the marriage in both Church

Wisebird22:
go to catholic church and register ur bands of marriage,notify d church dt u guys will do d weddin in ur church(protestant)u will attend marriag clases at catholic church/marriage at protestant and firstmass at catholic,(she authomatically bcoms a catholic member)

she doesn't automatically become a Catholic member... that is very nuanced

Exponental:
I think this is an Igbo-Catholic modified doctrine. It is not purely Catholic. I have attended weddings of male Catholics in other churches. My Aunty's was one!

it is purely Catholic... it is even serious enough to stop communion. there is a way to do it, it is called dispensation

estheremma:
ok,im catholic we do something called mixed marriage,that is marriage with ousiders,we can marry them n allow them continue their church.See with ur fiance pls,if he doez not wed in d catholic fold,he ceases to be a communicant,may not participate in major things.If u love him,do a mixed marriage for peace

amen

Ladyhippolyta88:
This is the best advise.

not really, registry doesn't work for Catholics

NoToPile:
Miss there are about 2 factors here.

Church
Igbo/ yoruba culture


On the issue of church to wed, culturally in yoruba land it's the brides father or brides church(depending on circumstances)that the wedding is done, the point is the brides family are the ones that make arrangements for wedding both trad and white.

It seems Igbos have no problem with the wedding holding in the man's church culturally and then you now add catholic/ penstecostalism to the mix.

So your people will see your hubby's request as strange which is expected, most yoruba dad's will never allow it because they will tell you it is the man that is coming to marry the woman.

While your hubby's people will see it as no big deal.


My friends wedding was stalled for more than a year same issue

Bride- yoruba/ baptist
Groom- igbo catholic

The grooms mum was the fore runner of the you must come to the east for the church wedding and the yoruba people were like we don't do it that way where we come from, it's you guys that must come to southwest in our own church it was not a small matter.

I did notice that other Igbos of other denominations really don't have an issue with this it's only the igbo catholics that insist the wedding must be in the grooms church, it sounds more like culture than the Catholic doctrine.

nobody was right or wrong, it's just the way things are done differently.

Madam you have a lot on your hands, you won't want to hurt your family and he wouldn't want to hurt his and unfortunately nobody is right or wrong it's just the perspective each is coming from.

it is doctrine but there is a process to escape it