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I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Gloryr: 11:46pm On Jan 13, 2018
[quote author=damichworld post=64158349]
What is wrong in a woman owning a property to her name solely?

Madam , 100% wrong
Mathematics Marriage Calculation

1 + 1 = 1

As a man is my duty to guide,provide and secure her wellbeing....No woman under my roof can carryout d act

Illustration

I got married 2012, before d wedding my wife informed me about a property(land) she brought which am happy to hear that .Right now am d advising her to start something on it

Marriage is all about understanding and been honest to each other.


Op. ...I have a big uncle that wasted 14yrs of his life waiting for rhetoric fruit of the womb. ..his own is even better because his wife was humble and loyal....he impregnated his coworker and she got pregnant one hand.......I suggest u take a work.

I will never support cheating and betrayal of trust.

6 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by dancok(m): 1:08am On Jan 14, 2018
Adamrealman78:
After marrying a girl against my parents wishes, for 6yrs with no child. I have never, cursed,abused or beaten her.I pay for two houses ,one in Abuja and Lagos cos I work in Abuja. I provide for the home and pay her allowance and pay all utilities. She has a shop in Lagos. I found out that she is building a house without informing me.I knew she did this cos she thought my family would chase her for her childlessness. I confronted her and she denied it for 7mnths.only to own up after her pastor scolded her.she wanted me to give her 800k to roof the house which I obliged. I now tested her by telling her to lend me 20k to sort out a small issue,only for her to tell me she can't afford to, in spite of a balance of over 200k in her account. I quietly left the house for my base in Abuja, she didn't even escort me out of the bedroom. My relationship with her is over.MEN,any woman you sacrifice for and she can't do the same for you is not worth it.
better

1 Like

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Nobody: 6:00am On Jan 14, 2018
You already moved on so why are you here ranting. Oga the thing pain you small tongue

9 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by eyinjuege: 6:31am On Jan 14, 2018
Adamrealman78:
,her test results show, blocked fallopian tubes, uterine fibroids and no ovulation.. What magic do you expect I do?

Only one person has no ovulation, blocked tubes, fibroids.
For every point raised here, you have a counter argument.

Just last week, you claim to have married a new wife, who is joining you in Abuja.
So many important stories you're coming up with when questioned which you never mentioned in your initial post.

Are you sure you're not just making things up as points are being raised?

41 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Efewestern: 6:46am On Jan 14, 2018
Adamrealman78:
I see responses saying I feel hurt for not telling me about her project! Wrong, I am happy about her success, but when a woman you support to be a success uses your kindness to elevate herself and wants to run you into penury.be wise,at a time she borrowed 400k for a project and I ended paying the loan,I sold my old car,borrowed another 300k to meet her needs.As a rule to make her feel loved, I never for once in 6yrs requested what I wanted.I made sure my provision for her needs are what she wanted.just imagine, I lost my old job in 2014.even without a job,I sold my assets to take care of the home. After making sure I was broke, she would leave me in the house with N200 to eat till she came back from the shop. When God now gave me a federal appointment in Abuja, she told me to resign and come back to Lagos. This is just the tip of the iceberg, if I talk more.I would break the Internet.

Bros good morning sir!!

Read through all your post, believe me your wife don't have your interest at heart, I read a place where you said you saw some signs in your courtship days but you ignored, bro that was the genesis of the problem.

And I hope you are also building your own house somewhere, do whatever makes you happy man.. and 6 years is not too long she can still get pregnant. am more concerned about her attitude. (modified : mogbe the issue strong o)

You seems to give more in this relationship, marriage is a two way thing . Just know this , the power of every relationship is the hand of the person who cares less.

13 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Adamrealman78: 8:32am On Jan 14, 2018
eyinjuege:


Only one person has no ovulation, blocked tubes, fibroids.
For every point raised here, you have a counter argument.

Just last week, you claim to have married a new wife, who is joining you in Abuja.
So many important stories you're coming up with when questioned which you never mentioned in your initial post.

Are you sure you're not just making things up as points are being raised?
In all honesty, I have been truthful in all I shared.I want people to learn from real life issues. I have been silent for too long.if not for the grace of God, I would have been admitted into a mental institution.

20 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Adamrealman78: 8:37am On Jan 14, 2018
Efewestern:


Bros good morning sir!!

Read through all your post, believe me your wife don't have your interest at heart, I read a place where you said you saw some signs in your courtship days but you ignored, bro that was the genesis of the problem.

And I hope you are also building your own house somewhere, do whatever makes you happy man.. and 6 years is not too long she can still get pregnant. am more concerned about her attitude. (modified : mogbe the issue strong o)

You seems to give more in this relationship, marriage is a two way thing . Just know this , the power of every relationship is the hand of the person who cares less.
,God shall bless every work of your hand. If I told her marriage is an effort of both partners, she would reply, that the Bible said a man should provide everything for the home. See brainwashing! Men please be aware of the use of religion to coerce in marriage

35 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Efewestern: 8:55am On Jan 14, 2018
Adamrealman78:
,God shall bless every work of your hand. If I told her marriage is an effort of both partners, she would reply, that the Bible said a man should provide everything for the home. See brainwashing! Men please be aware of the use of religion to coerce in marriage

Sir I admire your courage and perseverance, even after knowing she couldn't conceive easily you still kept your vows, trying everything to make her happy, why she on the other hand was living her life just for herself, that's selfishness bro.

@ bolded, am naturally not a religious person, I'd burst her bubble if she tries using that as a tools for controlling me.

What's up with your new wify, hope you are treating her right? grin, grin

Na man you be.

28 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by olisehcom(f): 9:01am On Jan 14, 2018
Adamrealman78:
sorry for yourself, this happened last week Monday, on Tuesday I bleeped my new wife.she is on her way to Abuja to replace the other one.life goes on coolalways have plan b,c,d-z

You've been cheating on her all this time....and she knows.......she hasn't given u a child.......your family don't like her......



I don't blame her at all

41 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by PSTEMMA1960(m): 9:14am On Jan 14, 2018
Adamrealman78:
After marrying a girl against my parents wishes, for 6yrs with no child. I have never, cursed,abused or beaten her.I pay for two houses ,one in Abuja and Lagos cos I work in Abuja. I provide for the home and pay her allowance and pay all utilities. She has a shop in Lagos. I found out that she is building a house without informing me.I knew she did this cos she thought my family would chase her for her childlessness. I confronted her and she denied it for 7mnths.only to own up after her pastor scolded her.she wanted me to give her 800k to roof the house which I obliged. I now tested her by telling her to lend me 20k to sort out a small issue,only for her to tell me she can't afford to, in spite of a balance of over 200k in her account. I quietly left the house for my base in Abuja, she didn't even escort me out of the bedroom. My relationship with her is over.MEN,any woman you sacrifice for and she can't do the same for you is not worth it.
my brother if u are to be honest u saw all those signs b4 the marriage took place, bt u decided to continue..

marriage it's not what u will jst wake up one day and call it off, u have to endure it since she is nt cheating on u.. unless u are nt a christian..

i had 2 girl friends sometimes ago, one was always asking me for money and i always give to her, bt one day her uncle gave her 50k i asked her to borrow me 10k from it bt she refused.. that was how i left her because this was a lady i have borrowed money from friends jst to make her happy..

bt the other friend of mine gives without me asking, and when she gives she does nt ask for pay back, where she is working now any day she takes her salary she will call and tell me.

now i am nt yet married bt i have been able to see a good wife material..

finally: still talk to her about it, it's easy to end a relationship than a marriage, she may even think that it's because of her childless-ness..

10 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Adamrealman78: 9:50am On Jan 14, 2018
olisehcom:


You've been cheating on her all this time....and she knows.......she hasn't given u a child.......your family don't like her......



I don't blame her at all
ladies like you are the problem, you assume that things are worst than they seem. My parents kicked against our wedding, I stood my ground and kept my vow.after feeling used ,I decided to move on.I didn't fight her. So what's the big issue?

43 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Adamrealman78: 9:58am On Jan 14, 2018
Efewestern:


Sir I admire your courage and perseverance, even after knowing she couldn't conceive easily you still kept your vows, trying everything to make her happy, why she on the other hand was living her life just for herself, that's selfishness bro.

@ bolded, am naturally not a religious person, I'd burst her bubble if she tries using that as a tools of controlling me.

What's up with your new wify, hope you are treating her right? grin, grin

Na man you be.
imagine my so called loving wife calling me after 4 days of leaving Lagos to Abuja.I told her I didn't have anything to eat and was broke, she didn't ask I am faring.I was the one that actually texted before her call.she said she didn't know if I would pick the call.see lame excuses.

7 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Adamrealman78: 10:06am On Jan 14, 2018
Latest update- she just called and started Trying to explain her way out of her rash behavior,which she is habitual of doing for the past 6yrs.she would want to rationalize a mistake claiming the Bible said women are the weaker vessel. Men have really been undermined ,well new year new system. Dem go hear am.I rest my case.God bless all the people in the house. Shalom

39 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by FloraEC(f): 10:43am On Jan 14, 2018
Adamrealman78:
,her test results show, blocked fallopian tubes, uterine fibroids and no ovulation.. What magic do you expect I do?

To be honest, I don't blame your wife. I wonder how many times you've called her barren maybe telling her, her tubes are blocked and she can't release an egg that's why she's not ovulating e.t.c

The magic you supposed to do is for her to undergo an operation to remove the uterine fibroid, tubal flushing or taking drugs for it and also taking drugs that aids ovulation. Did you do that?

And now you're trying to be all emotional, all of a sudden you remembered your parents warned you cos she borrowed herself sense to build a house since you and your family members obviously don't love her or accept her. Now you trying to blame her, calling her sorts of names so you'll garner sympathy.
I wish you the best with the girl you've already slept with and wants to marry, may she karashika your life very well.


Shalom

45 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by realborn(m): 11:03am On Jan 14, 2018
Adamrealman78:
,her test results show, blocked fallopian tubes, uterine fibroids and no ovulation.. What magic do you expect I do?

sad angry

1. Blocked tubes - IVF
2. Uterine fibroids - Surgery
3. No ovulation - corrective medication to address hormonal imbalance

Suggested order - 2-3-1

As alleged by you, it is quite unfortunate that she reacts to money and material possessions the way you claim she does. Quite a significant percentage of women are adduced with the ideology that a man provides all. Several men experience a similar fate when tables turn. Acquiring and developing a property without your knowledge is also very common. These are exigencies of marriage. I have one significant prayer daily, "Lord bless me exceedingly, grant me the grace to provide beyond expectations".

Living apart while married, can break the strongest of bonds, and encourages adultery. Your wife's not-so-caring attitude may have stemmed from the consequences of this, coupled with the propensity to covet what belongs to her for herself.

Inability to conceive after 6 years is not a basis to end a marriage. If indeed you want a child, and you are unwilling to go through the process outlined above, you should sensitize her of your intent to impregnate another. She would feel very bad, but will eventually appreciate your gesture after months or years. Getting married to another may not be the solution (emphasis on "May"wink. There is no perfect man or woman. Everyone comes with a defect.

I have known my wife for about 2 decades and married for 8 years. We have had delays in childbirth (quite similar to your reasons), stayed apart for circa 4 years within the period, had our issues, but remained resolute to stay strong. Despite our issues and desire to leave many times (perhaps she must have felt same too sometimes), I still love her exceedingly.

I strongly believe that a marriage that is not physically abusive can be salvaged.

I pray you find peace as you turn 40 this year smiley


Nb:
If you both jointly decide to go your separate ways, it will be a fantastic decision. Marriage should be enjoyed not endured!

65 Likes 4 Shares

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Amarabae(f): 11:39am On Jan 14, 2018
You are overreacting!
Divorce is not the answer now.
But come to think of it, the money that she used in the building of house, she would have used some of them to adopt a child.

4 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Espada10: 1:58pm On Jan 14, 2018
Adamrealman78:
sorry for yourself, this happened last week Monday, on Tuesday I bleeped my new wife.she is on her way to Abuja to replace the other one.life goes on coolalways have plan b,c,d-z
I just want to say , I am proud of you.

31 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by jasper83: 2:49pm On Jan 14, 2018
Adamrealman78:
Latest update- she just called and started Trying to explain her way out of her rash behavior,which she is habitual of doing for the past 6yrs.she would want to rationalize a mistake claiming the Bible said women are the weaker vessel. Men have really been undermined ,well new year new system. Dem go hear am.I rest my case.God bless all the people in the house. Shalom
.


Bros I salute your courage and victory, may God bless your new job, happiness and whatever makes you happy. Don't allow any rubbish person make you unhappy or angry about your decision, you have taken the best decision of your life because anybody that life gives a second chance like you 98% of the time excel exceedingly.

When the time is right I have a story to share too, majority of females are opportunist and self centered, I have learned in hard way that love is not everything but mere feelings that can grow well if nurtured with right person. Guys beware " EMOTION IS NOTHING BUT A KILLER". Lets see marriage as a contract to be given to best qualified individuals, no sentiment attached.

Congrats bro, u have escaped may God delivered the rest of us from the hands of evil,destiny delaying demons. Peace out!!!

53 Likes 10 Shares

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Duru009(m): 5:05pm On Jan 14, 2018
You marry the wrong woman !

5 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by frozen70(f): 6:10pm On Jan 14, 2018
keepingmum:
I dont understand what your anger is. She should have told you about the property shes building....YES
But have you built or acquired assets in your name alone during thr course of the marriage? Are ALL assets in the marriage acquired in both your names?
What is wrong in a woman owning a property to her name solely?
How has your relationship been during the course of your marriage?
Have you cheated ot given her course to doubt your loyalty and fidelity in the marriage?
Finally you talk about not beating or cursing her in the marriage.....are you expecting to be rewarded or given a medal?? Or you think its thr norm to be abusive to women?
You talk about maintaining 2 homes in lag and abuja so what about that? If you are tired relocate back to Lag or move your wife to Abj to join you.
There are people that maintain 4 homes ...one with the kids in uni...the other wifey stays there for work...3rd they stay there for their own work and then 4th extended family stays so what exactly are you doing that no other person has done?

Finally keep your family in check cos its clear from your write up your family has played a role in making your wife feel unsecured in her marriage
You dont know the poster from Adams, you were attacking him instead of the advice he needed.
He wasn't bracing that he maintains two homes he is just telling us the sacrifice he made for their comfort, though he wouldn't have said he has never beaten the wife that's not what a man should be proud of.
Yes its wrong for a wife to set up a building with out the knowledge of the husbands, but like the husband said that probably she is sensing danger because she is yet to give birth. I think the man should notify the wife family his intention to get separated or divorce their daughter ,it might not be easy but it's one of the way out.

28 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by enabledgoddess(f): 6:31pm On Jan 14, 2018
Adamrealman78:
She can't change. I saw this attitude long ago,but thought pure love and affection could reform her.if I continue in the relationship, she would ruin me into debt.

you sounded so sure that she can't change. you saw the attitude long ago yet you ignored it and thought pure love could reform her? no one can change any one except they make personal decision to change.
Any union that the parents are against are often times not fruitful. you are in this already so I won't be quick to say you should divorce her. on a second thought, why are you living separately? and you are trying to conceive? since she is operating her own shop, what stops her from joining you in your base? the distance alone has put strain on your marriage . both of you should find a way to go appeal your parents and gradually work on your flaws. she can't be all at fault you have your own part too. As for the money part, she's probably reacting . if there is love, communication, closeness, agreement I don't think she will find it hard to give her hubby 20k when she is expecting 800k from you. she was able to erect a building without informing you because the distance has create a hole in your relationship. work on that first and gradually watch things fall in place.

7 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by enabledgoddess(f): 6:47pm On Jan 14, 2018
Adamrealman78:
,her test results show, blocked fallopian tubes, uterine fibroids and no ovulation.. What magic do you expect I do?



Did you go for medical checks before you tied the knot? I feel your pains and I could only imagine the woman's pains. I know how painful it is to badly want a child , I have been there. I don't know what to say further since you have revealed that you are seeing someone else already
Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Adamrealman78: 8:12pm On Jan 14, 2018
enabledgoddess:


you sounded so sure that she can't change. you saw the attitude long ago yet you ignored it and thought pure love could reform her? no one can change any one except they make personal decision to change.
Any union that the parents are against are often times not fruitful. you are in this already so I won't be quick to say you should divorce her. on a second thought, why are you living separately? and you are trying to conceive? since she is operating her own shop, what stops her from joining you in your base? the distance alone has put strain on your marriage . both of you should find a way to go appeal your parents and gradually work on your flaws. she can't be all at fault you have your own part too. As for the money part, she's probably reacting . if there is love, communication, closeness, agreement I don't think she will find it hard to give her hubby 20k when she is expecting 800k from you. she was able to erect a building without informing you because the distance has create a hole in your relationship. work on that first and gradually watch things fall in place.
she told me categorically that she can't relocate to Abuja cos of her shop.I promised to get another one in Abuja and restock. She said that she has established herself in ogudu GRA,claiming that sales would never be the same.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Diamond23(f): 8:44pm On Jan 14, 2018
[color=#770077][/color] Y painting her black simply because ur family didn't approve of her nd majorly because she has not giving u a child .

3 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by TonyeBarcanista(m): 11:21pm On Jan 14, 2018
Amarabae:
You are overreacting!
Divorce is not the answer now.
But come to think of it, the money that she used in the building of house, she would have used some of them to adopt a child.
Please, what is the answer?

8 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Seahawk: 6:50am On Jan 15, 2018
Adamrealman78:
sorry for yourself, this happened last week Monday, on Tuesday I bleeped my new wife.she is on her way to Abuja to replace the other one.life goes on coolalways have plan b,c,d-z
So you’ve been cheating on her?

I’m happy she’s smart enough to make her escape plan. I have zero sympathy for you.

15 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Seahawk: 6:52am On Jan 15, 2018
Under your roof as in?

Do you consider your wife a partner and equal owner or someone under your roof? Reasonings like these are why you men aren’t having happy marriages

damichworld:

What is wrong in a woman owning a property to her name solely?

Madam , 100% wrong
Mathematics Marriage Calculation

1 + 1 = 1

As a man is my duty to guide,provide and secure her wellbeing....No woman under my roof can carryout d act

Illustration

I got married 2012, before d wedding my wife informed me about a property(land) she brought which am happy to hear that .Right now am d advising her to start something on it

Marriage is all about understanding and been honest to each other.

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Seahawk: 6:54am On Jan 15, 2018
Yes you’re a saint but you have a woman on the side undecided
Adamrealman78:
I see responses saying I feel hurt for not telling me about her project! Wrong, I am happy about her success, but when a woman you support to be a success uses your kindness to elevate herself and wants to run you into penury.be wise,at a time she borrowed 400k for a project and I ended paying the loan,I sold my old car,borrowed another 300k to meet her needs.As a rule to make her feel loved, I never for once in 6yrs requested what I wanted.I made sure my provision for her needs are what she wanted.just imagine, I lost my old job in 2014.even without a job,I sold my assets to take care of the home. After making sure I was broke, she would leave me in the house with N200 to eat till she came back from the shop. When God now gave me a federal appointment in Abuja, she told me to resign and come back to Lagos. This is just the tip of the iceberg, if I talk more.I would break the Internet.

8 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by judgedredd22(m): 10:28am On Jan 15, 2018
keepingmum:
I dont understand what your anger is. She should have told you about the property shes building....YES
But have you built or acquired assets in your name alone during thr course of the marriage? Are ALL assets in the marriage acquired in both your names?
What is wrong in a woman owning a property to her name solely?
How has your relationship been during the course of your marriage?
Have you cheated ot given her course to doubt your loyalty and fidelity in the marriage?
Finally you talk about not beating or cursing her in the marriage.....are you expecting to be rewarded or given a medal?? Or you think its thr norm to be abusive to women?
You talk about maintaining 2 homes in lag and abuja so what about that? If you are tired relocate back to Lag or move your wife to Abj to join you.
There are people that maintain 4 homes ...one with the kids in uni...the other wifey stays there for work...3rd they stay there for their own work and then 4th extended family stays so what exactly are you doing that no other person has done?

Finally keep your family in check cos its clear from your write up your family has played a role in making your wife feel unsecured in her marriage

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by judgedredd22(m): 10:30am On Jan 15, 2018
Diamond23:
[color=#770077][/color] Y painting her black simply because ur family didn't approve of her nd majorly because she has not giving u a child .

4 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by Diamond23(f): 11:11am On Jan 15, 2018
[quote author=judgedredd22 post=64213059][/quote] u v been noticed, xo fuckoff angry nd get lost angry

2 Likes

Re: I Would Divorce Her- My Wife Is Callous by judgedredd22(m): 1:07pm On Jan 15, 2018
Diamond23:
u v been noticed, xo fuckoff angry nd get lost angry

10 Likes

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