Possibly u are crushing on ur DM.
As a shy guy when u crush on someone with high statute or older than u that how u feels.

I think u should work on ur boldness as a man, But. Make sure she's single because i will never support u crusing on someone's wife

Elnino4ladies:
Drink black bullet before going to work. Thank me later

everyday?

Are you fvcking kidding me?


@op shake off that nonsense shyness of your body, you are a man in a country like naija. No time for dulling oooooo, open that mouth wide abeg.

speaking slowly is usually the best. That way you are confident enough to know you have thought your statements through before they escape your lips. Hence, you are confident to say more.

wetin I fit say on the matter...me wy no sabi am too Make shyness no com kill us.....too shy to hurt

kokomaster3d:
Drink 3 Bottles of Origin everyday before going to work. You will thank me later. Funny enough, that was how I overcame lack of confidence. At a point I got used to being confident that even without the beer I still maintain my confidence.

so orijin was the killer of low self esteem in you

K

lavenjcrown:
Good day my fellow nairalander, my name is Adewunmi, an OND holder, currently doing my internship here in NNPC DEPOT, Lagos. i am fortunate to be working in the Depot manager's office as the assistant secretary but the issue i'm having here is i don't know how to express myself so well when i'm with my DM or staff that comes around to see the DM. i feel i should be eloquent and bold with speaking to my DM but i feel so shy and less courage when speaking with her. please your advice.

Just calm down..and read more to improve your vocabulary..it will boost your confidence.
There is nothing to be worried about,it's a gradual process

kokomaster3d:
Drink 3 Bottles of Origin everyday before going to work. You will thank me later. Funny enough, that was how I overcame lack of confidence. At a point I got used to being confident that even without the beer I still maintain my confidence.

God bless you

lavenjcrown:
Good day my fellow nairalander, my name is Adewunmi, an OND holder, currently doing my internship here in NNPC DEPOT, Lagos. i am fortunate to be working in the Depot manager's office as the assistant secretary but the issue i'm having here is i don't know how to express myself so well when i'm with my DM or staff that comes around to see the DM. i feel i should be eloquent and bold with speaking to my DM but i feel so shy and less courage when speaking with her. please your advice.

Be social....
Start associating with your peeps
Converse in groups
Don't isolate yourself again....

Build a good relationship with your DM
Stop the freight he doesn't kill

Everything will fall in place
You are not alone... Many people pass through this
But they overcome it
It's a gradual process

Ask your DM out. I see a connection.

lavenjcrown:
Good day my fellow nairalander, my name is Adewunmi, an OND holder, currently doing my internship here in NNPC DEPOT, Lagos. i am fortunate to be working in the Depot manager's office as the assistant secretary but the issue i'm having here is i don't know how to express myself so well when i'm with my DM or staff that comes around to see the DM. i feel i should be eloquent and bold with speaking to my DM but i feel so shy and less courage when speaking with her. please your advice.

thedewunmi:
Probably you are suffering from low self esteem or you are just naturally shy. You need to first be courageous and always try to speak up. You could even try to first be friends with your boss ( polite boss - employee friendship), then from there you start to get confident while expressing yourself to him.. It's gradual but surely you'll get there.

Just like the first guy stated...am 98% sure it gets to do with your self esteem and how shy you are as a person.
Take some time to examine yourself on how comfortable you speak in front of your casual friends and that of your corporate ones, before your superiors. You can always start a conversation with them by asking a lot questions because at the moment you are learning and in the process try building some element of boldness while speaking to them, that will uplift your confidence whenever you speak in front of them again...with time its gonna come out.

Read novels, listen to speeches tirelessly, increase substance in you, work on your confidence. You're who you think you are.
Moreso, watch the company you keep. If you have friends that aren't eloquent like you, you may never become better.
Goodluck!

lavenjcrown:
Good day my fellow nairalander, my name is Adewunmi, an OND holder, currently doing my internship here in NNPC DEPOT, Lagos. i am fortunate to be working in the Depot manager's office as the assistant secretary but the issue i'm having here is i don't know how to express myself so well when i'm with my DM or staff that comes around to see the DM. i feel i should be eloquent and bold with speaking to my DM but i feel so shy and less courage when speaking with her. please your advice.

currently busy would post much later or you can pm me for free

I don't see why you could be having issues with your spoken English whereas your written English is quite good.

I went through your post and I was amazed you were writing "I am" and "I'm" the right way unlike so many "Am..." ignoramuses and educated illiterates we have in abundance here on nairaland.

Congratulations on that.

About your spoken English, I'll advice you take some time to be listening to news regularly. Also, try to be communicating some more in English. Don't be deterred if you notice people are laughing at you for messing up your grammar or your use of tenses. Seek for correction because, believe it or not, people are always willing to help out.

Practice makes perfect.

And finally, are you sure it is not your shyness that is actually preventing from speaking coherently in her presence and not actually your inability to speak good English at all?

Anyway, like I said earlier, practice makes perfect so get to work.

Good luck.

bmaks:
Abeg no vex oooo, Grammar no be by force, u hear make Neymar speak English before dem give am 500,000 pounds per week. if you sabi speak Yoruba or Ibo or Hausa or better still Pidgin English, you are good to go. Language na means of communication he no dey give person visa or money and English no go carry you enter Heaven jooooo......

Honestly, The absorption of English language as our lingua franca has somewhat bastardized our own indigenous languages and dialects. I can tell you if most of the subjects in school are taught in our own dialects, our level of assimilation and understanding will be very great.

So how do you explain Physics and Chemistry in our local dialects for easy assimilation?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9N-JRx9Ifw&itct=CBMQpDAYASITCILjwNz52dgCFVgJFQodmuQPozIHcmVsYXRlZEjH2YXQiJjFuzo%3D

That's the link you need. I had same problem but have overcome it now.

P

Join toastmasters. thank me later.

I was once like you and I had to embrace the long walk to victory.

As you can rightly tell, this isn't just happening because you work with NNPC DEPOT. This has been an issue for a long time, only that you never saw it as a big deal because you've been appearing before people who don't matter.

My 2 Penny:

1. Admit that you have the challenge: I think this has been solved already. You're here because you already know there's a problem)

2. Stop expecting it to be solved right now: Your challenge here is, you just wish this would find a backdoor out of your life and you'll become a better version of yourself. Friend, as long as you have this mindset, you'll keep your mind imprisoned. So accept it as your fate in the mean time and stop struggling with what can't be improved in weeks.

3. Pick it Up from Somewhere: No matter how horrible it seems, fling your inner self open. Be eager to speak (even if your use of words makes you want to puke). This will make you gain some confidence to learn.

4. Get The Knowledge: I was in love with the dictionary for years. It was how I started. Whatever I heard back then, I ran to my personal tutor (dictionary) to check. Before long, I became better.
- Get books. Some people already told you about Brighter Grammar. Yea,a good way to start. Be humble to learn.

read more of newspapers, novels watch English movies like lord of the rings, sheakspear, etc

Practice, practice, practice. You have already taken the first bold step by accepting the issue. Now how do you resolve it?

First, get yourself a large mirror. Every morning, think of a good topic or report, look into the mirror and talk about it for about 10 minutes. You should find this awkward initially but it will start getting more and more natural.

After about 2 weeks start recording your talks on your phone and listen to it later. Spot your errors and keep correcting yourself. The confidence will come in no time.

Also, while at it pls get a basic English textbook and rebuild your foundation. You will get there with full confidence!

Lloydfather:
Possibly u are crunching on ur DM.
As a shy guy when u crunch on someone with high statute or older than u that how u feels.

I think u should work on ur boldness as a man, But. Make sure she's single because i will never support u crunching on someone's wife.

I believe the correct term is CRUSHING.

lavenjcrown , you need to S.H.Y .
affirmative, it means Stop Hiding Yourself. Whenever you feel you should talk to your boss, make sure you know what you want to say very well and let him know by saying with simple english. don't use ambigous words, it might leave you in an awkard seneraio.
Secondly, Make sure you speak english everytime. The best way to learn something is by doing that thing repeatedly. I'm a victim of this too, i'm recoving in a bit.
Visit Youtube and watch Toastmaster Videos.

Develop yourself, by following models, like the BBC, SKY, CNN, etc. They employ professional speakers as newsreaders, announcers and commentators. Watch Premier League matches, listen to the commentaries as you watch the matches. There's a guy, Peter Drury. He's a good user of the English Language.
All these helped me, particularly the BBC. Goodluck to you!

see urself as a boss and not an IT student, and act like a boss. Talk like a boss, walk like a boss and address ur colleagues like a boss would do, but remember to be humble

tartar9:

Seeing therapist?
for naija

u dey mind
am

He nor know say black people don't visit a therapist

Either we go to beer parlour, barber shop or we watch the movie 'barber shop'

Try going to gatherings where people are much. If you are a christian, try going to fellowships and Sunday school which is interactive and force yourself to contribute, to speak up. Even in church, try to read bible passages when the preacher calls for one. And also after your IT, It will be best for you if you are employed in a school as a teacher, I mean teach senior classes. Just teach for few months, it will surely help and boost your confidence. Though, you might be shaky at first, but I promise you it will surely solve your problem. I was once like you, but with the help of these mentioned above, I can express myself anytime, anywhere excellently.

Easier said dan done my dear,i have d same problem with d op and i dnt tink i can change because dats jst who we are..i have realy tried to change but my tongue still gt stuck if i wanna talk to people dat are nt my family member...

thedewunmi:
Probably you are suffering from low self esteem or you are just naturally shy. You need to first be courageous and always try to speak up. You could even try to first be friends with your boss ( polite boss - employee friendship), then from there you start to get confident while expressing yourself to him.. It's gradual but surely you'll get there.

lavenjcrown:
Good day my fellow nairalander, my name is Adewunmi, an OND holder, currently doing my internship here in NNPC DEPOT, Lagos. i am fortunate to be working in the Depot manager's office as the assistant secretary but the issue i'm having here is i don't know how to express myself so well when i'm with my DM or staff that comes around to see the DM. i feel i should be eloquent and bold with speaking to my DM but i feel so shy and less courage when speaking with her. please your advice.

It all boils down to interest. We all aren't born with the same capabilities but even at that the environment we grow up in, plays a major role in molding us language wise. I don't wanna assume Yoruba was the major language spoken in ur house while growing up but I believe it's a probable cause and I feel you not being able to speak in fluent English is the reason why u rather not speak than being counted as a dummy. As I first said, it all boils down to interest, if u really wanna improve, go and get brighter grammar and pay attention to your tenses cos that's the undoing of most gibberish speaking individuals.

Its a good idea bt notin can change some of us,i hav tried dis bt it didnt wrk for me,i hv tried many methods bt my tongue still gt stucked wen i face d reality

Shikena:
Practice, practice, practice. You have already taken the first bold step by accepting the issue. Now how do you resolve it?

First, get yourself a large mirror. Every morning, think of a good topic or report, look into the mirror and talk about it for about 10 minutes. You should find this awkward initially but it will start getting more and more natural.

After about 2 weeks start recording your talks on your phone and listen to it later. Spot your errors and keep correcting yourself. The confidence will come in no time.

Also, while at it pls get a basic English textbook and rebuild your foundation. You will get there with full confidence!