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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! (2971 Views)
Should One Ask A Divorcee What Caused The Split? / How My Brother Learnt His Lesson In A Hard Way After Marrying A Lady / Is It Wise For A Man To Marry A Divorcee Who Has 3 Little Kids? (2) (3) (4)
Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by bluebutton: 2:35am On Jan 25, 2018 |
Yesterday I had the most wonderful time in my life. I spent time with my childhood crush. We had a lot of stories to tell but I could feel the years of hurt she has had to endure under her husband's rule and roof. Life had not dealt her the best hand but I'm glad she bounced back. She is the most amazing girl I've seen. I can't remember when I fell in love but I was too young and too naive to act on it. Maybe then I would have messed up that which I cherished so much. Yesterday was a decade later after we saw each other, I linked up with this mother of the two most amazing princesses. Super brilliant kids. I spent some time with them. One could feel the void the enstranged dad left when another woman's body became his temple. I've asked a lot of questions concerning getting married to a divorcee. Apparently no Nigerian mother wants her son to marry one but every Nigerian mother would want her daughter to try again if luck ran out. Seems a bit selfish. I love this woman and the baggage that comes with it. I don't know if I should go ahead and get married to her. Don't get me wrong. I have my fears too. One of which is that she may deal with me cos of what she went through with her ex-husband and secondly, will her priorities be on the family we are about to start or on mending her lost marriage hence a rebound. I don't expect to find divorcees here but I think positive criticism will help. I really want honest advice from you guys. 1 Like |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Nebes: 6:09am On Jan 25, 2018 |
Why talk about marriage now? Don't be in a hurry to marry her. Start from dating and see how it goes. Please do not clutter your mind with thoughts of marriage yet. 15 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Sparkle777(f): 6:36am On Jan 25, 2018 |
Awwwnn,so sweet. Pls take time and go for counselling and mfm deliverance. Let God and ur heart guide you,am sure u guys are meant for each other. Invite us oo. 2 Likes |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by oginga: 7:59am On Jan 25, 2018 |
I am laughing in spiritual power. Many female divorcees will tell you what you want to hear and as well make their EX partner look bad but very soon you will know why she is not with her first husband. @ op double shine your eyes and pray for God's guidance... Good luck! 10 Likes |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by thorpido(m): 8:24am On Jan 25, 2018 |
E dey shack u.Be friends first with her and get to know her more.Marriage should not be on the cards just yet. You are getting to see her again after some time so she's probably not the 'sweet girl' you think you know. 3 Likes |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by zed7: 8:40am On Jan 25, 2018 |
Each marriage or relationship is different, there are no guides. Meanwhile, she's still a crush, you need to get to know her properly. She just might be a difficult person. Don't be too hasty. Marrying crushes usually never ends in the fairy tale imagined. 3 Likes |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Coloredsg(f): 1:45pm On Jan 25, 2018 |
My dear, please don't rush into marriage yet. Get to know her more, spend time with her. The love is still fresh that is why everything looks so perfect to you at the moment. Please take your time and pray before making a choice. 1 Like |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by sexymoma(f): 2:40pm On Jan 25, 2018 |
Let me tell you a story There is this friend of mine that once asked me " is there anything wrong in dating your ex's babe'' I told him nope, There is absolutely nothing wrong... then i asked him what went wrong with his friend and the babe.. he said the babe said the guy didn't give him attention, he changed all of a sudden bla bla bla, i told him ok To cut the long story short sha.. This guy went ahead to date this babe so one day when we were gisting, i jokingly asked about the babe, the guy just hissed and said she is fine ahn ahn kilode, it was den he told me, the bae doesn't call even if he didn't call, " the babe doesn't apologies when she s wrong" na so i jos laughed and told him, u didn't bother to ask her ex what really went wrong, i fell for her sorry ass stories and felt what the guy did was wrong.. how are you even sure the guy dumped her because of this same attitudes.. cos you aren't the first person she s gonna do dis things to..naso the guy open brain yarn me say "God, you are Wright" So my dear brother ain't saying you shouldn't get married to this woman, buh make your findings ooo very well.. im v.sure you'll still see some lapses in her, that would make you think "could this be what led to her divorce" |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Iykmann(m): 3:31pm On Jan 25, 2018 |
You shouldn't judge the ex husband base on her story only. Ask people around, if possible the ex husband |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Gloryr: 3:06am On Jan 26, 2018 |
Love abi na luster still dey shaack this one.....body go tell you last last.......come back after 6 months of dating her let's talk again. |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Nobody: 4:30am On Jan 26, 2018 |
bluebutton: Do not marry this woman! You can learn a lot from her as a FRIEND, her experiences so far and advice will be handy to you in the future. Work on yourself and get a nice lady, supposedly someone who has not tied the knot already. "Normal" marriages are challenging, you will not be prepared for the extra troubles marrying a divorcee will bring unless you are one too. 1 Like |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Nutase: 4:32am On Jan 26, 2018 |
Your life...do with it as you please but remember God's way is always the best. |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by bluebutton: 10:56pm On Jan 28, 2018 |
Iykmann: Thanks a lot. I appreciate your advice. I've ruled out the idea. Come to think of it, even normal marriages take time to build. I think I will be better off as friends. It will save us the messy trip. I also appreciate everyone who contributed. |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by LadySarah: 12:24pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
bluebutton: my guy . |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by crackhaus: 6:28pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
If you start thinking about marriage with someone you just met again after 10years of not communicating, you ought to know that's just your feelings playing games on you man. 1 Like |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Nobody: 6:42pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
Iykmann:\ Best suggestion. straight to the point. Pitchikom |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Nobody: 6:43pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
sexymoma: Amazing story, beautiful contribution.Excellent comment. Nice one 2 Likes |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by sisisioge: 6:46pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
Marry her biko...don't let her slip off your fingers a second time. 2 Likes |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Omojudy: 3:16pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
Divorcees are still same women. Dating her and breaking her heart will hurt her even more than her divorce hurt her, cos she thought she could trust you and you understood where she is coming from. If you do date her, don't rush and come with preconceived ideas. Give her an open slate like you will give any other babe. And lastly don't have sex with her except you have decided to marry her. 1 Like |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Uyi168: 4:14pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
Sparkle777:..Mfm deliverance?..dnt understand..is he possessed? 3 Likes |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Sparkle777(f): 5:30pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
Uyi168: Nope,it will do him well. Its an intensive prayer and meditation time,try it. It works. |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by chii8(f): 6:17pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
Get to know the ex-husband, you might find answers you're looking for.As in from the man's perspective. |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Nobody: 6:21pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
If you feel good around her and her children, give it a chance. Just know that these kids, if you are good to them, will learn to love you so the moment you get involved, you take responsibility upon yourself for their emotional well-being but you seem to be old enough to understand it so that you don't break their little hearts. You liked her then and you still like her, you do not have to marry today or next month but I do not see why should not do it at all. Many people have done it and now have families that give them happiness and joy. I wish you all the best. Your description of her and her children is heart-warming. 1 Like |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Nobody: 6:35pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
chii8: Really? Do you want your boyfriend to go looking for your ex boyfriends behind your back to possibly get dirt on you? Girl, this is betrayal. You either trust your partner or you don't. If you don't, go your separate ways instead of playing detective games. 7 Likes |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by chii8(f): 7:22pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
Mindfulness: Oh boy, am just saying he should give both parties a chance,and not to condemn A because you heard from B first. My opinion though. |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by MIKOLOWISKA: 9:18pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
Nebes:guy Old age Pikin matter No time |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Caseless: 5:23pm On Feb 08, 2018 |
Sparkle777:hmmmmm |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Nobody: 5:26pm On Feb 08, 2018 |
Calm down Op, and be her friend. Both of you should be best of friends, and date more before tying the knot. Don't rush it. |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Nobody: 6:41pm On Feb 08, 2018 |
sisisioge: Just like that... |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by sisisioge: 7:04pm On Feb 08, 2018 |
Tayroc: How you want make e be? He said he had loved her for a thousand years. He's more than half way through his prime....life is too short to dwell on inconsequential things sir. Love her...and hope she loves you just as well. The sun will set someday |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by Mznaett: 7:12pm On Feb 08, 2018 |
Young man biko "just" remain friends with her and thank me later. |
Re: Marrying A Divorcee. Advice! by benzion72(m): 7:37pm On Feb 08, 2018 |
You never grow up still. You no still see any good and beautiful babe for a decade, it be like say you have self esteem problem. You they fear to talk to babes. Na Tokubo, you wan go marry abi tufuakua |
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