I tink d question should b hw 2 spot a good lady cz ladies of 2dy r nothin bt chameleons

minute:

How he treats women who came before you is how he will treat you.

If he uses girls for intimacy and never calls again,if he cheats,if he lies,if he's

not there for her when  she needs her then chances are he is just a schmuck.

Find out about his past behaviour with women.And hold out a while,make him keep

coming around for a while before you give in so he respects you and treats you accordingly.

In some ways you are right but not totally right but your post is commendable.

@CBT Online and Richfella

Hope the ladies could read and see meaning to your post because you guys have made justice to this topic.

Most times, like begets like but in some unfortunate situations, it does not follow.

If you want to spot a geniune guy

Understand
1. that all that glitters is not gold
2. A cameleon does not change its colour.


However, it may be more difficult for a gurl below 24 years of age to spot a good guy than it will be for older girls because it takes experience to master the artistry of men. And moreso because most girls below this age tend to be superficial and are easily attracted by superficiality, it makes it more difficult because men are aware of this fact.

After many years of being fooled, those aged 25 and above tend to be wiser. However some because of the degree of wound received in their early 20s tend to be ovecautious and will end up screening out the  man they would have been very compatible with.
Having said that, wisdom does not always vary linearly with age but . . .  

Poster

The good man for one person may not be good for another because personalities and compatibilities vary.
Little things like interests cause problems in relations and trust me you will notice it very easily if a guy wants to claim you have the same interest just to unlock your your door except you are blinded by lust.
Check out those interests in the begining. Sexual compatibility is very important but not as important as your psychological compatibility if you are on for a long term relationship. If the psychology is wrong, the chemistry disappears. If you just wanna play, then no need, jump in and out.

So the equation is

Compatible psychology + Chemistry - A = Good  man

Where A is a constant which varies inversely with your superficiality

Have you tried Lenscrafters? Your sight is improved after they give you a work over.

On the thread, its a gamble. Nothing stays the same. Bad guys change and good guys go bad.

Its hard but obvious signs others have mentioned should be a guide.

Good luck!

.

No such thing as a good man,
you have to work with what you find.
either for the good or for the bad

Spoting the right- i really suggest one should travel direct to his hearth through the atrum and you know how difficult that is.

A point of correction please, HOW CAN A MAN SPOT A GOOD WOMAN? it is said that is a tarboo for a woman to approach a man so why " how can a woman spot a good man"? when things are right enough women talk about good men but ordinarily good people can always spot themselves without asking question. why must it be good before you spot him? can't you use your head to make a good man? You must must ruin all the men on earth.

Gamine:

No such thing as a good man,
you have to work with what you find.
either for the good or for the bad

No such thing as a good woman
you have to work with what you have/find
either for the good or for the bad

yeah right; it makes sense

Some chicks meet good men but give him cause, early on, to turn bad ie when the girl shows signs of being insincere, unfaithful or unserious.  Bottom line: girls, be on your best behaviour, and he'll return the favour .


_{And then some guys are just shight no matter what you do .}

maedan:


Some chicks meet good men but give him cause, early on, to turn bad ie when the girl shows signs of being insincere, unfaithful or unserious. Bottom line: girls, be on your best behaviour, and he'll return the favour .


_{And then some guys are just shight no matter what you do .}

hmmm

This is good, me likey

@tkb417
there is no formula, Humans are not digital.

not that i expect you to grasp,

Gamine:

@tkb417
there is no formula, Humans are not digital.

not that i expect you to grasp,

You are right
i wont grasp, im slow

@ Topic, Sadly, you can't. Just as guys can't spot good ladies either. Not all that glitters is gold. At the same time, diamonds don't sparkle when still in the rough.

The problem is women are usually looking for contradictory attributes in men.

chaircover:

Of course some men and women are very good at hiding their real nasty selves but here a a few pointers to get one started;

Watch how he treats people who are less privileged than he is - Does he beat & starve his housegirl/boy or yell at his staff over minor issues.

How does he speak of his ex-girlfriends - Are they all sluts, bitches and any other derogatory name he may prefer to call them

How does he talk to and treat his parents - Does he yell at his mum simply because she asked him to get married

How does he deal with stress and conflict. - Does he take off his shirt and beat the Aboki with a jack in go-slow for the most simple offence.

Is he a man of integrity? - If he wouldn't be found out,  will he be inclined to steal other peoples money

Does he get on with his friends, colleagues and family? - You don't want to find yourself living with an antisocial, easily offended, arrogant man.

Generally speaking, the older you are the easier it is to differentiate between a real man and a pretender.

Good one but do not forget that some guys exhibit all those habit because of a state of mind which could vanish the moment the see a woman they love and really want to be with.

When a man is in love, he gets extra ability to do without what he ordinarily would not do without. It is easier to control his emotion because a man in love does not wanna hurt his girls feeling and that does not make him less a man.

He makes genuine effort to live right because of her. So if you judge him by his past then you may have missed him.

And if you follow that rule, no one will marry a girl pros.titute including those who hawk their wares without pros.tag.

madlady:

GREAT REPLY

I agree with you, apart from the 1st line.

This reply will be sent around to all my girl friends.

Go ahead hun

chaircover:

hmmmmmmm Agaba you may be right o! but I will feel a tad skeptical if a man used to do all the things I mentioned above and then suddenly changed because he fell in love with me . . . .

That means that he can "change" again at any time T, by which time It may be to late to run away fast

Well, it is better to have a man who love you than a man who likes you.
If the love we are talking about here is based on your personality, the reason why he loved you in the first place will always be there except you as a person changed your personality. If you remain you, he will remain him I think unless there is a major mutation which rarely happens.


Mature men see beyond the veil.
L

When will women ever get their priorities right? When will women start speaking "basic" English that everyone can understand? What is a "Good man" in "womanese" language? Does a good man mean a nice guy who will throw himself on the ground at her beck and call or a S.O.B who's got loads of cash to buy her diamonds from Jacobs? Which is it?

You see them talking about "lack of Good men" but when such men come around them, they don't notice coz they don't even know what "good" means.

@Poster

Define what a "Good man" is in your "womanese dictionary" so that you can be understood properly.Your "definition" of "good man" might be different from another person's.

to spot a good guy? huh? get ur nose close to any man's armpit, someones once told me that secret. (If odour nor kill u die in search for a good man).

Hi all!

If u don't catch him looking at u lustfully or other girls
If he does not pressurize u to come and know his "place"
If he calls or texts often to know how u a doing
If he does not ration his calls to 2mins each time he calls
If he holds ur hands as u stroll and points out pot-holes etc. for u
If he does not flare up at the slightest mistake u or others make
If he em em, sorry
Be right back

amaechijay:

If u don't catch him looking at u lustfully or other girls
If he does not pressurize u to come and know his "place"
If he calls or texts often to know how u a doing
If he does not ration his calls to 2mins each time he calls
If he holds your hands as u stroll and points out pot-holes etc. for u
If he does not flare up at the slightest mistake u or others make
If he em em, sorry
Be right back

A man can fake all these to get into your panties sweetie. Do not be deceived.

chaircover:

@agaba We seem to be saying the same thing but differently.

Men and women fall out of love for all sorts of reasons. Some reasons you and I can understand, and some others are just plain strange.

I personally wouldn't choose a man who exhibited sadist qualities & behaviour for whatever reason, because I cannot guarantee that he will always love me, neither can I guarantee that life will not throw something at him that will stress him.

I think that you are who you are as a result of your genetics, upbringing and how you as a person has chosen to be (a bit of everything really) and I also do believe that some people can never really totally permanently change their spots. That is my own personal belief but I may be wrong.

OK you win

I did that before you so I won in that aspect.

.

chaircover:

Ok Now. . . . . its a draw

Yea it is 1-1 goalless draw

chaircover:

But I am running back to the family & fashion section before I start to see more scary things. Imagine judging a guys character on how many text messages he can send.

All he has to do is set up a cheap Bulk SMS account and automatically prgrame it so send 200 text messages a day to the same phone. I tire o!

On the contrary, I think a woman will easily be turned off if you bombard her with text messages at the begining of a relationship. It gives the impression of an idle hand. Again only a teenager will interprete that as affection.

You better run!