Honestly what is the point in dating? There seems to be so many time wasters out there or those that simply don't have a clue what they want.

I've been seeing a guy for near three weeks, From day one he said he is a very reserved person, doesn't really open up easily and is private yet he allowed me into his life so much.

He lead me to believe we had a future together. He would say how I'm 'Mummy material' and we were honest about what we'd like from the future.

I didn't see him for two weeks , because of limited time , i have base on my course of study. We have been in contact and he was saying the usual things about missing me and he can't wait to see me.

Then out of the blue last night, we speak on the phone and he decides to say that he doesn't have the capacity in his life right now for a relationship.

I have literally been a saint when it comes to being patience with him. I've always worked around his busy schedule, not been demanding of his time and we see each other maybe 1/2 per week (depending on other commitments).

I was fine with this as I have my own life and commitments. Now I just feel like I've wasted a few weeks on nothing. I know that isn't a long time but I'm just so baffled how you can be so into someone one minute, and i do genuinely believe he was into me and the next throw it away because he has a busy life. Gosh!!! is that even an excuse ...?

I ended the conversation quite abruptly last night and I won't contact him. I've deleted his number so there's no temptation to message him.

I guess I'm just wondering, what's the point? OLD is a nightmare. I know I'm probably feeling sorry for myself a bit but I'm also at a stage on my life that nothing scares me anymore.
what's the point of dating, i think all this dating stuff is just a huge joke on people who do take it serious.......

The sad end of your past relationships made you give up on Love/relationships I guess..

still confused though. .when they will still dump each other..

...

sekxyqueen:
still confused though. .when they will still dump each other..

Not when there's bomb sex involved

By the way Valentine's day is for Tall Girls, pretty and intelligent included ... Short Girls without the criteria mentioned above should wait for Children's Day. ������

sekxyqueen:
still confused though. .when they will still dump each other..

my the whole thing is just a mind illusion.
A day with feelings ,love ,caring. .......
Tomorrow comes with break up based on lame excuses ..

It is a waste of time moving from one man or woman to yet another in the name of dating using the trial and error approach. Most people enter dating with this "let's just give it a shot" mentality and in the end, they get burned real bad and move on to another and yet to another and yet to another's other... And finally settle down.

Listen, if you really know what you want from a relationship that will lead to marriage then you simply won't waste precious time dating "round the world" before landing on a choice.

Stick to what you seek in man or a woman, be keenly observant and patient before you take the plunge. Be certain in your heart that this is something you are walking into that will lead to a bright future. I am not saying that after doing such your choice may not still misbehave and shock you and make you leave but at least, it will save you the time of dating every damn person you come across in the name of "let's just see where it leads".
There is no guarantee until you both can out in the work beyond " I love you" to show that you want the relationship to last forever. It is true people break up even after carefully choosing their mate but again... It is only in some cases. For most who take their time and choose wisely instead of jumping into just any relationship, they are the ones who outlast other relationships.

Most relationships I know that are stable and long lasting came as a result of the couples involved knowing what they wanted in their significant other and making their choice based on that...and they also were certain of the love and passion each had for the other....
... And guess what, for most of them, it was either their first or second relationship which eventually led to marriage unlike many who have to go thru 5 or 10 or maybe 15 dating/relationship experiences wasting precious emotional energy and time.
Three dating/relationship experiences (with the third being your last and final) should be the highest sef if one is f**king serious about not investing his emotions in relationships that just may never last or have every likelihood of being short term.

The reason why young people of today change men or women like clothes daily is because most young people go into relationships not really knowing what they f**king want. All they think about is the thrill of having one to call a bf or gf, the false sense of companionship and then sex... Nothing more.

A real young man or young woman with Vision for his/her life and with a sense of what (s)he really wants in a relationship related to his/her future and his/her life goals will look before he/she leaps. He/she won't just rush into any relationship but will take time to observe and then decide on the best to walk into that will eventually lead to marriage. Such a person will not open up his/her heart to just anyone but only to the one who meets his/her criteria with that one also loving them him/her in return and wanting to take it to the next level. You just know in your heart and soul when something is right and the best for you if you are sincere with yourself but most of us ignore it and go for short term thrills which is so vain and mundane and leaves us with nothing and feeling empty.

One must have defined goals before jumping into the relationship wagon. Know what you want beyond fleshly passions.

IamAirforce1:
The sad end of your past relationships made you give up on Love/relationships I guess..

yea ,, apart from that.....stories from friends,relationship gains and it disadvantages multiply together then divide it again with your loss.....which include heart break ,lying, cheating.

My dear the whole thing is just a fiction

TheSuperNerd:
It is a waste of time moving from one man or woman to yet another in the name of dating using the trial and error approach. Most people enter dating with this "let's just give it a shot" mentality and in the end, they get burned real bad and move on to another and yet to another and yet to another's other... And finally settle down.

Listen, if you really know what you want from a relationship that will lead to marriage then you simply won't waste precious time dating "round the world" before landing on a choice.

Stick to what you seek in man or a woman, be keenly observant and patient before you take the plunge. Be certain in your heart that this is something you are walking into that will lead to a bright future. I am not saying that after doing such your choice may not still misbehave and shock you and make you leave but at least, it will save you the time of dating every damn person you come across in the name of "let's just see where it leads". Most relationships I know that are stable and long lasting came as a result of the couples involved knowing what they wanted in their significant other and making their choice based on that...and they also were certain of the love and passion each had for the other....
... And guess what, for most of them, it was either their first or second relationship which eventually led to marriage unlike many who have to go thru 5 or 10 or maybe 15 dating/relationship experiences wasting precious emotional energy and time.
Three dating/relationship experiences (with the third being your last and final) should be the highest sef if one is f**king serious about not investing his emotions in relationships that just may never last.

The reason why young people of today change men or women like clothes daily is because most young people go into relationships not really knowing what they really want. All they think about is the thrill of having one to call a bf or gf, the false sense of companionship and then sex... Nothing more.

A real young man or young woman with Vision for his/her life and with a sense of what she really wants in a relationship related to her future and her life goals will look before he/she leaps. He/she won't just rush into any relationship but will take time to observe and then decide on the best to walk into that will eventually lead to marriage. Such a person will not open up his/her heart to just anyone but only to those who meets their criteria with the they also loving them back in return and wanting to take it to the next level.

One must have defined goals before jumping into the relationship wagon. Know what you want beyond fleshly passions.

From your point of view dating is to get to know someone. Until you have a firm commitment from a person, be it a bad guy ,u should be patient don't assume you will be part of their lives.....
Dear i don't think it possible rigth now......
Being as a girl, you have many guys pastering on you and you choose to remain stagnant, all because you just don't want to be running from one guy to the other.

That's why I think it's best to date several people at once. You're simply getting to know them.
Or just be friends with them without emotional attachments.
But being the type of girl.....Am too emotional which makes it difficult to adapt to this.
But i think that's the best really.

If you're doing it right, most dating situations should NOT end in a relationship. Finding a mutual match should be rare.Commit to that person.
But that would be possible when your doors are open.

well i think both of you might literally be in the same shoes,i believe most peeps that are busy with work or career cant just have the commitment needed in a relationship along with work commitment,there as to be sacrifices, or do one before you do the other unless you find someone willy to ride along with you.
and i think you gyes not having time for each other is the problem here,
if i were you i would have ask him how he came to this conclusion,because that was an opportunity for you gyes to talk about it,NOTE the bolding words below

Then out of the blue last night, we speak on the phone and he decides to say that he doesn't have the capacity in his life right now for a relationship

if a man tells you that is because he is as frustrated as you to,he doesn't get the essense of the relationship if you gyes are too busy to reap the benefits
so i believe you gyes could have talk about it and work around your time.

Biafraqueen:
Honestly what is the point in dating? There seems to be so many time wasters out there or those that simply don't have a clue what they want.

I've been seeing a guy for near three weeks, From day one he said he is a very reserved person, doesn't really open up easily and is private yet he allowed me into his life so much.

He lead me to believe we had a future together. He would say how I'm 'Mummy material' and we were honest about what we'd like from the future.

I didn't see him for two weeks , because of limited time , i have base on my course of study. We have been in contact and he was saying the usual things about missing me and he can't wait to see me.

Then out of the blue last night, we speak on the phone and he decides to say that he doesn't have the capacity in his life right now for a relationship.

I have literally been a saint when it comes to being patience with him. I've always worked around his busy schedule, not been demanding of his time and we see each other maybe 1/2 per week (depending on other commitments).

I was fine with this as I have my own life and commitments. Now I just feel like I've wasted a few weeks on nothing. I know that isn't a long time but I'm just so baffled how you can be so into someone one minute, and i do genuinely believe he was into me and the next throw it away because he has a busy life. Gosh!!! is that even an excuse ...?

I ended the conversation quite abruptly last night and I won't contact him. I've deleted his number so there's no temptation to message him.

I guess I'm just wondering, what's the point? OLD is a nightmare. I know I'm probably feeling sorry for myself a bit but I'm also at a stage on my life that nothing scares me anymore.
what's the point of dating, i think all this dating stuff is just a huge joke on people who do take it serious.......

No, from my point of view, when I mention dating, I refer to one being in a relationship. What I am saying is "dating someone" means you are in a romantic relationship. That is my terminology used and explained. Now lemme address your reply....

But dating several people at once will do you no good naa...

Why not just follow the friends route... Very safe. That way you get to keep your emotional distance while maintaining a no-strings attached physical get-along-ness. You can be friends and from there you may start feeling yourself pulling more towards one because he matches what you are looking for in a man in terms of majority of what you want attributes-wise to take things to the next level and make it Long lasting.

I really believe and honestly know that it would save you a lot of investment of emotional energy. Our emotional energy is ours to use and our youth period is when we are at the peak of our emotional capacity powers so why channel most of it to various guys by dating (getting in relationships with) several? Doesn't sound wise to me.





P.S: Note very carefully that I do not rate dating and friendship on the same scale. Dating someone is related to you building something romantic with someone... I refer to its relationship phase and not to "getting to know someone phase".
I refer to friendship as "getting to know someone and being friends" without emotional attachments.

Biafraqueen:




From your point of view dating is to get to know someone. Until you have a firm commitment from a person, be it a bad guy ,u should be patient don't assume you will be part of their lives.....
Dear i don't think it possible rigth now......
Being as a girl, you have many guys pastering on you and you choose to remain stagnant, all because you just don't want to be running from one guy to the other.

That's why I think it's best to date several people at once. You're simply getting to know them.
Or just be friends with them without emotional attachments.
But being the type of girl.....Am too emotional which makes it difficult to adapt to this.
But i think that's the best really.

If you're doing it right, most dating situations should NOT end in a relationship. Finding a mutual match should be rare.Commit to that person.
But that would be possible when your doors are open.

I date for free sex!

Hmm

It's a huge joke my dear

I hate getting into stuff that will cause me to regret later especially when it has to do with my relationship with the opposite sex

Some guys are potential time wasters...
just imagine how you wasted your time with that fool

Some guys are not worth it jare

They are just in your life for free sex and maybe financial support if you are working

Some are wolves in sheep's clothing

They know the relationship isn't heading anywhere but they are just determined to waste your time

I'm on a break for now...I can't have hypertension because of a man

Xinzu:



Not when there's bomb sex involved

can that alone guarantee marriage and long lasting rship that will lead to marriage..honestly dating isn't worth those stress

sekxyqueen:

can that alone guarantee marriage and long lasting rship that will lead to marriage..honestly dating isn't worth those stress

Will you marry a stranger?

Xinzu:


Will you marry a stranger?

will court...

sekxyqueen:

will court...

Courting/Dating, ofu ihe ka obu.

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