Yesterday was the first Valentine that made me crave attention.

#1 Fun fact, I have never been in a relationship during valentine, not once! For years, I prided myself on my super resilient abilities- queen bee herself of the single’s club association. No one could ever make me feel sad about being single on valentine. Then yesterday happened.

I was entirely disoriented, seated at the back of a car, prime witness to my friend who was all booed up in front. She was kissing his face all over after he had handed her valentine’s gift. I had a quick flashback while struggling to juggle 850calories I just added from consuming my co-worker’s valentine-cake and chocolate. And so, the entire day passed and I received nothing. My first question, do they have two heads?

I know what you’re thinking and no it wasn’t only about the gifts. I’d usually don't care about Valentine and its gift-giving madness, although, now I think about it I’m not exactly sure how I should feel, considering that I’ve never experienced a gift-receiving valentine. I’m beginning to think that most of the people that criticize Valentine might just be like me.

Oh don’t feel sorry for me, this situation might be entirely my own doing.  I’ve met good men. Good, hardworking, good-looking men but timing was always a bitch.

I was either about leaving that town
He was about relocating
I wasn’t emotionally available
He wasn’t emotionally available
He had no money
He had too much money
He wanted to get married
He was married
He wasn’t ready to get married in the next 10 years
He was trying to figure his life out
I was trying to figure my life out
The list goes on and on and so one by one I or they all left.  When you have that kind of list, you get comfortable, I did.

My policy was; soldier go, soldier come. I find that I was always looking for someone better. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I still think that there’s this special someone for me. Yeah right!

You see, I know the difference, I can tell how long we’d last from one conversation. I’ve been in love once, and I know the difference. The best thing about being in love for me was the realisation that I could feel stable emotions for another person other than myself. I hear that you choose to love, but I believe there are sure people you'd meet that make wanting to love them your only option. That’s how I once felt. Then we broke up; I cried my eyes out. It was the third worst period of my life, but I was grateful for the feeling of feelings.

I once thought that I might be asexual, now I think I’m demisexual.  I once blocked someone who hinted that I might be gay. Why the hell would anyone think that? I love men!

In fact, I’m currently crushing on a guy, and everyone thinks he’s illfitted for me. That’s the thing about stubborn hearts, they always take the wrong turn.

I miss X, but I can’t tell if it’s because he took me to lovely places or because I enjoyed his company. When it gets confusing like that, then there’s usually an error somewhere. Call it what you want, money has a way of tinting emotions.

#2 Fun fact, I have tried dating for money, I almost died from boredom. First Outing… good. Second outing….great, by the third I wanted substance. Not that he was unfavourable or dull (maybe a little) I’m sure some lady out there would enjoy his company. But he did nothing for me except buy me nice things. I couldn’t take it.

Then there was the preacher, straight clean guy loved God deeply (I think)

He would send bible scriptures every morning. That’s the thing, I found it a bit finicky and I noticed we barely had normal conversations. All I remember is him trying to make me become a Proverbs 31 woman.

I should change my circle of friends; I no longer find it coincidental that we’re all single. I used to think we had worthy standards but I’m not so sure about that anymore. My friends are the most down to earth, incredibly good-looking, hardworking, smart people I know. But guess what every time we talk relationships, we’re either; not ready, too busy, or not him.

Back to the chase, so basically yesterday it hit me hard, in foreign spots.

But, this is what I found; it’s okay to feel this way.

Hey you, if you understand what I’m talking about, it’s okay. It’s just a feeling.

#Quick tip: listen to Trevor Noah, he made me laugh myself to sleep last night.

Original article:http://jaysmind.com.ng/2018/02/15/i-cried-myself-to-sleep-last-night/

story for he God's

Well we cant get perfection.

True talk

dingbang:
Well we cant get perfection.

Better to spend it alone than with the wrong person else you're just transacting business. I had opportunities, happily avoided them & enjoyed myself.

Its really not that difficult, chat with guys on social media, give out your phone No to mature guys. If a guy gets boring, cut him off. Before you know it, you'll find yourself in constant communication with guys that get you and excite you.
My suggestion tho, go for a guy that knows how to balance getting high and being responsible. Some guys will just escalate your trips until you're a mess and find yourself struggling to function.

Derajoyce:

#Quick tip: listen to Trevor Noah, he made me laugh myself to sleep last night.

Resonated with quite a bit of what you wrote, very heavily on the Trevor Noah part. Trevor is life! Those dimples be slaying.

That said, you are articulate, seem to understand yourself and your circumstance. I have a feeling you'll land on your feet, with a bit of luck and a bit of fairy dust.

Or just find me, date me and let us break up. For some reason all my exes married the next person they dated. Superpower? Truth?