Women, try this recipe for happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids:

1. Become a person of Character
2. Carefully choose and court a man of Character
3. Get married
4. have intimacy
5. Have children
6. Stay married for the rest of your lives




As opposed to what normally happens today:


1. Meet an attractive person
2. Date
3. have intimacy (but not before the 3rd date—that would be slutty)
4. Move in together
5. Break up and move out
6. Repeat steps 1-3 at least 8 times, 1-5 at least twice.
7. Finally meet “Mr. Right"
8. have intimacy. Lots of intimacy.
9. Move in together.
10. Get married so you can have kids
11. Have a kid, maybe two
12. Realize you have married a no-good bum and divorce
13. Work lots of hours at Wal-Mart trying to support your children
14. Complain openly and often about the plight of single moms, prompting your friends to give you tons of self-indulgent pity.
15. have intimacy. Lots of intimacy.
16. Visit your grown children Sunday’s at the prison

Which list above most closely represents your life so far?

The best way to love your kids is to choose a man of character to be their father, then stay married to that man for the rest of your life.

Already screwed that up? Let’s think this through. Here’s a multiple choice question for any single mom:

I am a single mom because (choose one):

A. My husband died an untimely death

B. I was despoiled and decided to keep the baby.

C. I am a LovePeddler—I slept with someone I wasn’t married to and got pregnant. While that doesn’t mean my kid isn’t valuable, it does make me a LovePeddler.

D. I divorced my husband—I chose badly and didn’t get what I wanted from the relationship so I selfishly chose divorce over marriage.

E. My husband divorced me—I failed to prove my worth to him as a wife.

You see, there really aren’t too many options.

And if you had to choose something other than “A" or “B", you’re a pretty selfish piece of work.

So, that addresses your past, but what about now? What about your current situation? What can you do to make your children’s life better?

Repent of your selfishness.

Then marry a man of character.

How do you find a man of character? First you have to be a person of real character yourself. Develop your own character. High quality men tend to marry high quality women.

Become a woman of character and a man of character will find you.

The second thing ought to go without saying. It should, but we have so perverted our culture it probably won’t. So here goes:

Stop having intimacy.

Don’t sleep with anyone you’re not married to.

You will be amazed how many more men of character will be attracted to you when they find you aren’t a LovePeddler. LovePeddler’s are a dime a dozen—even at church. Just about any guy can get some extra-marital excitement with a little effort. Worthless guys won’t have anything to do with you if you aren’t a LovePeddler. Worthwhile guys won’t have anything to do with you if you are.

So, mom, you want to say you love your kids? Give them a father of character.

When a sane and rational human being makes an application, it is with the hope that it will be favourably considered and the requests granted.


It is thus amazing that people decide to have $€x outside established marital confines, and when a child happens to pop up regardless of whatever preventive steps were or were not taken, they get alarmed, afraid or distraught. It was not designed that way, but to be a thing of joy.


Each time you have at yourselves and hit the sack, you are making a request for a baby so dont be alarmed when you get what you wish for!


In my personal and debatable opinion, sex outside established marital confines is never worth it.

^^^Not debatable. It's never worth it.

@aletheia: Lol yes sir, you are right that its not debatable! I think what I really meant is that I am open to discuss it, and so convinced as to debate it anywhere. But I guess I used the wrong phrase. Lol

Why is it that "religious" people can't make a point without name-calling, judging people, and sticking their religious beliefs into it? Calling women whores because they have sex before their married and acting as though men had nothing to do with it. So holy men NEVER act a certain way to trick women into the sack or to marry them and then become complete a holes afterwards? Funny thing, many virgin religious people marry, are not happy in marriage, have kids, then divorce. Are those women whores? Meanwhile, I had sex before marriage, am with a man of good moral character, have 3 kids by only him, we are monogamous, and married only for tax benefits. You can be monogamous without marrying. Do I agree that not having sex until you find the right person is wise? Yes. Do you have to be married? No. See how I made a valid point without name-calling, judging, or bringing religion into it? I used facts. Try it sometime, maybe you'll convert people. Right now, I just see hypocrits.

anonymus:

Why is it that "religious" people can't make a point without name-calling, judging people, and sticking their religious beliefs into it? Calling women whores because they have intimacy before their married and acting as though men had nothing to do with it. So holy men NEVER act a certain way to trick women into the sack or to marry them and then become complete a holes afterwards? Funny thing, many virgin religious people marry, are not happy in marriage, have kids, then divorce. Are those women whores? Meanwhile, I had sex before marriage, am with a man of good moral character, have 3 kids by only him, we are monogamous, and married only for tax benefits. You can be monogamous without marrying. Do I agree that not having sex until you find the right person is wise? Yes. Do you have to be married? No. See how I made a valid point without name-calling, judging, or bringing religion into it? I used facts. Try it sometime, maybe you'll convert people. Right now, I just see hypocrits.

1. I see how you made a "valid" point (somewhat debatable) without name-calling. In the next sentence you call others hypocrites. Now who's the hypocrite if not you; who boasted of not name-calling and then immediately tags others hypocrites.
2. What facts? What I see from your rant is a woman who is struggling with guilt over pre-marital se.x and a loveless marriage. Get a life! Who here wants to know whether you had se.x before marriage? Who here wants to know why you got married?

No, I am not guilty about having sex before marriage. I'm happy that I did because I knew that my husband is a good man, before I was trapped and couldn't get out of it easily. I very plainly pointed out that a marriage license and a ring is not needed to prove that we are commited to each other. If you actually read what I'd written instead of automatically attacking me because you don't agree with what I've written, you might figure that out. Considering that the person who had written the article said that people who have sex before marriage are whores. I think that my activity or lack thereof is relevant because it proves that I don't sleep with every person who comes along, therefore, not everyone who has sex before marriage is a LovePeddler. My definition of a LovePeddler is a woman who is indicriminate about who she sleeps with and many times it is for money. It is a fact that men can act one way and actually be another, that even when you think that you know him, and you get married, he can end up being the biggest mistake that you made in your life. The person who wrote this acts like men are immune to being complete jerks if they are good religious men. Good "religious" men are not immune to being bad guys just because they are religious. Just ask my mom, who was a virgin before she married, btw, She ended up with a good "religious" man who beat her and her kids, called all of us names, and raped her. Yes, it is rape, when she doesn't agree to it. The bible says, "Protect your wife like Jesus protects the church." In other words, treat her with respect. Raping her is not respect. The rape that he performed was sodomy, which is not a good thing according to the bible. My mom told me about this when I was a teenager because she was too embarrassed to tell anyone else. She's protected my dad his entire life. He's never touched me, but it turns out that he's been accused of sexually abusing 2 six year old girls. My mom told my siblings and I that she saw him do it. Now she's changed her story because she's afraid that he might kill her. So, he might walk because my mom is afraid of him. And he still gets to call himself a good religious man because everyone has been too afraid to speak up about him, except me. I turned him in as soon as my mom told me about the abuse. Now there's physical evidence that it happened. My mom hates me. Which is better though? Saving kids or saving face? And it is a fact that many religious people are hypocrites. It's a fact that many religious people are not happy in their marriages. They get divorced, they have dreams about other people, or they cheat. In your bible, doesn't it say that even dreaming about someone else while you're married is adultry? Yet, many married christians do it. It says, in the bible, not to drink the "fruit of the vine", yet I see many "religious" people at the bars drinking alcohol. I also remember a very famous passage, "judge not lest ye be judged", yet, the person who wrote the article is judging women who've had sex before marriage, and so are you. Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes a hypocrite as being:
1: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

It's not name-calling when it's a fact. Who's the hypocrite? Not me for stating facts. It's you.

Btw, I never once said that I wasn't happy in my marriage. I said that we only married because of tax benefits because we would've stayed together REGARDLESS of whether we were married or not. We love each other and our children about as much as anyone could love each other and their children. The only thing that puts a dampener on it is religious people judging us and our children just because we weren't married when we had our first child. They make my children feel like less people just because their parents weren't married. Yet, as I've said, there are religious families, like mine was, that get away with unspeakable behavior, and they're automatically good, just because they're religious. This is a fact, it's stupid for people to judge people like this.

I just noticed that everyone, in this discussion, with the exception of me, is male. Guess that's why this is so pro-male and bashing towards females. I really hope that none of you are married. I feel deeply sorry for your wives if you are. After all, according to your definition, I'd wager that they'd be called "whores". Because noone could live up to your standards. The line, "I've failed to prove myself worthy as a wife" shows that right there. You blame the woman when the blame could just as easily be placed on the man for being weak-willed. The woman was probably a great wife, but he couldn't follow his own religious beliefs about lust and adultry. There are more options than the ones that you've listed that involve men as the guilty party. But you can't see past your own selfish and narrow-minded beliefs. Wonder which woman was brave enough to leave the man who wrote this article, because I'm guessing that she figured out the same things that I'm figuring out now and can't stand him. That's probably why this whole article was written. Some woman saw him for who he really was, and left him. So now he doesn't feel manly, so he has to lash out at women. Good luck at finding and keeping another woman.

^^What is this? Angst over your parents' situation? And so you assume that most men are like your dad and most families are as unhealthy as your's was? Try a little introspection and consider the quote below instead of misplaced attacks on men.

frosbel:


As opposed to what normally happens today:


1. Meet an attractive person
2. Date
3. have intimacy (but not before the 3rd date—that would be slutty)
4. Move in together
5. Break up and move out
6. Repeat steps 1-3 at least 8 times, 1-5 at least twice.
7. Finally meet “Mr. Right"
8. have intimacy. Lots of intimacy.
9. Move in together.
10. Get married so you can have kids
11. Have a kid, maybe two
12. Realize you have married a no-good bum and divorce
13. Work lots of hours at Wal-Mart trying to support your children
14. Complain openly and often about the plight of single moms, prompting your friends to give you tons of self-indulgent pity.
15. have intimacy. Lots of intimacy.
16. Visit your grown children Sunday’s at the prison

Which list above most closely represents your life so far?

^You are pretty much typical of the norm presented here for by your own story; you are already on steps 10 & 11 on your slippery slope. You got married for tax benefits.

So what happens when those benefits are gone? Step 12.

aletheia:

^^What is this? Angst over your parents' situation? And so you assume that most men are like your dad and most families are as unhealthy as your's was? Try a little introspection and consider the quote below instead of misplaced attacks on men.

^You are pretty much typical of the norm presented here for by your own story; you are already on steps 10 & 11 on your slippery slope. You got married for tax benefits.

So what happens when those benefits are gone? Step 12.

dID SHE ACTUALLY said that.Jesus christ-you say it as itis, and you are called a religious freak-i did rather be one. Tax benefits Jesus christ-is that not akin to the whorefullness the author was talking about?
I aint not a product of tax benefit Laa

My sister be strong jare, don't mind all these guys. To people harping on tax benefits, she was happy not performing the ceremony but because of people like you who looked down on her, she and her partner decided to have the ceremony and to take advantage of the benefits. I admire her courage considering everything she has gone through, please give ur spouse and children the best love you can, they are more important than anything in the world.

lol na wa!

I am sure if they did a lie detector test on married Nigerian women, they would find out that 90% would rather not be married to their present husbands and are only in the house because of what society would say. I am fortunately happily married for almost 10 years and I believe its because I married a Nigerian man who schooled abroad and learned to value women. But when I have cause to speak to many married women, whom I meet in the course of my job, so many are deeply unhappy at home but will not leave the man cos of society. I usually advise them to stay and work on their marriages but deep inside me I am sad that for so many women the only joy they have in marriage is their childen. So even when these kids grow up they cant leave them alone cos they have got no lives.

I agree with anonymus that this thread is 'female bashing'. It gives a lot more criticism than encouragement and sort of blames the woman. It lacks love which Jesus preached.

When we post, we should be aware that there is a wide range of audience who read our posts here on Nairaland! Some of them have read the Bible (know about God) but do not have a personal relationship with God and have not yielded to the Holy Spirit's convictions; Some have known the power of God but continue to live in sin; Some do not care and do not want to know at all; Some want to do everything to stop the unsaved from being saved; some are saved and living the life; and some are on the way to being saved. These categories can be grouped into two: THOSE WHO HAVE THE PRINCIPLES OF CHRIST AS THEIR FOUNDATION, AND THOSE WHO DON'T! That post could have been more loving. It is possible to be loving and firm at the same time!

We need to bear in mind that we do not all have equal capability in managing our sexual urges ; some people have self-control when it comes to sex and some don't but WE CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS US!

We should also be wary of saying 'we don't care' when people share personal experiences that have hurt them and shaped their lives. We should be more caring and point them towards the CHRIST WHO WIPES AWAY ALL TEARS AND SORROWS instead!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE . . . . . . . . . .

[b]anonymus,


I am sure you do know that being called a Christian does not automatically make one a good person (from what you have shared with us). You talked about 'judging'; Can I tell you that you cannot judge/evaluate CHRIST by those who have failed him woefully - I am talking about those who you expected to be Christ-like while you were growing up! You know for yourself that many profess Christ but are so far from him in how they live their lives but then there are those profess Christ and truly reflect him. You should only 'judge/evaluate' Christ by how he lived his life and what he preached.

Nothing stops us from pointing out things people have done wrong. We can say a person is such and such a type of person because of what they do! We can say the type of person Jesus was by what he did! What matters is the purpose of our pointing out what people do. Is it to try and get them to change their ways or to pronounce 'judgement/condemnation on them? We can point out that a person is sexually immoral with the view of showing disapproval of their behaviour and inviting them to change their ways. We cannot point out someone's bad ways just to show that we are 'holier than them'.

I commend your turning your father in; many people know their family members do dreadful things and keep quiet about it!

You have got goodness in you, let Christ bring out the best in you! Do you know Jesus personally? Do you have a relationship with the father? Let him heal you of any hurt you have deep down inside of you! He can heal your family! God wants us to come to him just as we are! He will turn your life around!  Ask Jesus to come into your heart today! Ask him to take over!

Please email me sometime. God bless you![/b]

anonymus:

No, I am not guilty about having sex before marriage. I'm happy that I did because I knew that my husband is a good man, before I was trapped and couldn't get out of it easily. I very plainly pointed out that a marriage license and a ring is not needed to prove that we are commited to each other. If you actually read what I'd written instead of automatically attacking me because you don't agree with what I've written, you might figure that out. Considering that the person who had written the article said that people who have intimacy before marriage are whores. I think that my activity or lack thereof is relevant because it proves that I don't sleep with every person who comes along, therefore, not everyone who has sex before marriage is a LovePeddler. My definition of a LovePeddler is a woman who is indiscriminate about who she sleeps with and many times it is for money. It is a fact that men can act one way and actually be another, that even when you think that you know him, and you get married, he can end up being the biggest mistake that you made in your life. The person who wrote this acts like men are immune to being complete jerks if they are good religious men. Good "religious" men are not immune to being bad guys just because they are religious. Just ask my mom, who was a virgin before she married, btw, She ended up with a good "religious" man who beat her and her kids, called all of us names, and despoiled her. Yes, it is despoil, when she doesn't agree to it. The bible says, "Protect your wife like Jesus protects the church." In other words, treat her with respect. despoiling her is not respect. The despoil that he performed was sodomy, which is not a good thing according to the bible. My mom told me about this when I was a teenager because she was too embarrassed to tell anyone else. She's protected my dad his entire life. He's never touched me, but it turns out that he's been accused of sexually abusing 2 six year old girls. My mom told my siblings and I that she saw him do it. Now she's changed her story because she's afraid that he might kill her. So, he might walk because my mom is afraid of him. And he still gets to call himself a good religious man because everyone has been too afraid to speak up about him, except me. I turned him in as soon as my mom told me about the abuse. Now there's physical evidence that it happened. My mom hates me. Which is better though? Saving kids or saving face? And it is a fact that many religious people are hypocrites. It's a fact that many religious people are not happy in their marriages. They get divorced, they have dreams about other people, or they cheat. In your bible, doesn't it say that even dreaming about someone else while you're married is adultry? Yet, many married christians do it. It says, in the bible, not to drink the "fruit of the vine", yet I see many "religious" people at the bars drinking alcohol. I also remember a very famous passage, "judge not lest ye be judged", yet, the person who wrote the article is judging women who've had sex before marriage, and so are you. Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes a hypocrite as being:

1: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

It's not name-calling when it's a fact. Who's the hypocrite? Not me for stating facts. It's you.

Very Very On point.

^^^^ Calm down, I can assure you only a worthless minority of successful Nigerian men are like that

frosbel:

Women, try this recipe for happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids:

1. Become a person of Character
2. Carefully choose and court a man of Character
3. Get married
4. have intimacy
5. Have children
6. Stay married for the rest of your lives




As opposed to what normally happens today:


1. Meet an attractive person
2. Date
3. have intimacy (but not before the 3rd date—that would be slutty)
4. Move in together
5. Break up and move out
6. Repeat steps 1-3 at least 8 times, 1-5 at least twice.
7. Finally meet “Mr. Right"
8. have intimacy. Lots of intimacy.
9. Move in together.
10. Get married so you can have kids
11. Have a kid, maybe two
12. Realize you have married a no-good bum and divorce
13. Work lots of hours at Wal-Mart trying to support your children
14. Complain openly and often about the plight of single moms, prompting your friends to give you tons of self-indulgent pity.
15. have intimacy. Lots of intimacy.
16. Visit your grown children Sunday’s at the prison

Which list above most closely represents your life so far?

The best way to love your kids is to choose a man of character to be their father, then stay married to that man for the rest of your life.

Already screwed that up? Let’s think this through. Here’s a multiple choice question for any single mom:

I am a single mom because (choose one):

A. My husband died an untimely death

B. I was despoiled and decided to keep the baby.

C. I am a LovePeddler—I slept with someone I wasn’t married to and got pregnant. While that doesn’t mean my kid isn’t valuable, it does make me a LovePeddler.

D. I divorced my husband—I chose badly and didn’t get what I wanted from the relationship so I selfishly chose divorce over marriage.

E. My husband divorced me—I failed to prove my worth to him as a wife.

You see, there really aren’t too many options.

And if you had to choose something other than “A" or “B", you’re a pretty selfish piece of work.

So, that addresses your past, but what about now? What about your current situation? What can you do to make your children’s life better?

Repent of your selfishness.

Then marry a man of character.

How do you find a man of character? First you have to be a person of real character yourself. Develop your own character. High quality men tend to marry high quality women.

Become a woman of character and a man of character will find you.

The second thing ought to go without saying. It should, but we have so perverted our culture it probably won’t. So here goes:

Stop having intimacy.

[b]Don’t sleep with anyone you’re not married to.

You will be amazed how many more men of character will be attracted to you when they find you aren’t a LovePeddler. LovePeddler’s are a dime a dozen—even at church. Just about any guy can get some extra-marital excitement with a little effort. Worthless guys won’t have anything to do with you if you aren’t a LovePeddler. Worthwhile guys won’t have anything to do with you if you are.
[/b]

noted!

anonymus:

Btw, I never once said that I wasn't happy in my marriage. I said that we only married because of tax benefits because we would've stayed together REGARDLESS of whether we were married or not. We love each other and our children about as much as anyone could love each other and their children. The only thing that puts a dampener on it is religious people judging us and our children just because we weren't married when we had our first child. They make my children feel like less people just because their parents weren't married. Yet, as I've said, there are religious families, like mine was, that get away with unspeakable behavior, and they're automatically good, just because they're religious. This is a fact, it's silly for people to judge people like this.

He that is without sin should cast the first stone. I sometimes think if we were in Christ's shoes we would be casting the first stone at the woman caught in the very act of adultery.

Would WE have forgiven and allowed women like Rahab the harlot to be in the lineage of Jesus?