Yes

Alexas58:

Wow ur dad must be a great man,for him to be the lion of the tribe of sambisa forest

AprilSmallWoman:


Same issue I discussed with someone yesterday, some deeper life parents take it to the extreme. I'm proud of my parents where ever I find myself cause we were not caged, threatened or forced to attend Deeper Life. My dad always made us understand that we have to have a right standing with God and not about church.
You haven't given your dad a reason to allow you attend another church, no matter his strictness. Stand on your words if you really want to leave the church.
Who deeper life pastor pikin help? Your dad needs to be disciplined sef.
I hate all this forced church nonsense, I love deeper life and if I see any genuine reason to leave, I WILL. Just have a right standing with God, no be only deeper life go go heaven ooo.

I left the church and they didn't see any evidence of waywardness or irresponsibility

The thing is live a decent life,act responsible and respect yourself whilst protecting yourself from their assaults.if THEY don't see anything to use against you as to force you to.church or make them have their way,they will let you be

too many deeper life Haters in the house. Am sure if she said her father was Pastor At RCCG or Christ Embassy now, the way some of you here would comment about this issue would be different.. Any ways, my sister, you can do what you like.... But remember, You will have a child and then become a parent, then you will be in the same shoe you are putting your father right now..

Imustreturn:
hey wadup
I've read all your messages and I understand you very well..most people quoting you don't realize that where in the 21 century. most of our parent's where born in the olden days. there thinking is so different from the current parents. they still see that power in doing everything and making every decision.

this morning I called my family for meeting because of my dad, and I told my mind because so many decisions he has taking has been bad on us and told him to his he should be ready because if I leave this country I will never return . they where all shocked.

I have been forced to that point. so many quoting you should learn from this mistakes of our parents not to give Strict rules to there kids because this kids where giving both.

there's an extent you push your child's endurance and tolerance level and when it gets to exhaustion point,most times the children go south forever and to make them come back home is hard

Unfortunately round table or friendly discussions don't do much except one on one brave,properly planned and intelligent confrontation.

I remember during our bouts of confrontation my dad will quote the bible which most parents use as a manipulation tool saying in ephesians children honor your father and mother so that you will live long

I replied him with the same bible in the same Ephesians that said parents provoke not your children to wrath

Emotional abuse is provoking to wrath
Manipulation and threats is provoking to wrath.You see the bible you're quoting doesn't ad read a particular group of people,it's all encompassing.as it is directed at children,so it is directed at parents.him hand drop.

The thing is when you're READY for confrontation be strategic.know that they will.come from different angles and be prepared for all angles.don't just fight to win arguments,disagree with the aim of agreeing,MUTUAL respect and reconciliation.

If they try smiling with you in trying to weaken your guards still carry a straight face.these parents are wiser than you think.if not they're capable of controlling and manipulating you,intruding in your marriage and almost wrecking it

The point is every relationship where boundaries aren't set,disrespect is inevitable

Dirkcoyt:


The truth is most Africans suck at parenting

the truth is most African parents are afraid to ask questions

the truth is most Africans believe they know better because they gave birth to you

the truth is most African parents are largely ignorant

the truth is African parents don't know difference between when to love ,when to protect and when to respect

the truth is African parent pass down ideologies without knowing why it is so

the truth is African parents are religious slave

The truth is not all the ways of African parents are true hence not all should be followed through like zombie.

I remember a colleague of mine who the mother was always policing about.the mother will.come to her school unannounced ,troll her and even be going through her hand bag and when she asked her mom why she was always policing her,the mother said because she married as a virgin and she too must be a virgin and this is a girl that saw herself in her parents wedding picture as the little bride in her parents wedding pictures whilst the mom was visibly pregnant with her kid brother.The babe got wind of the picture when her mom asked her to bring her phone in her wardrobe,that was when she accidentally saw the picture well hidden and tucked under her mom's clothes.she just laughed over it.when she was telling me I found it hilarious.

Yet the mom will be claiming I married as a virgin but she doesn't argue with her.it was then I realise they also lie too and create a picture of being morally perfect just to act as a moral police to their kids

.

Flourishh:
As we all know, many people believe the children of pastors are mostly wayward.
I for example, I'm a female and my dad is a pastor in Deeper life Bible Church and trust me I've been looking for ways to leave the church. My dad isn't even helping matters, he has serious temper issues that makes him say things that gets me, my mum and siblings angry. I really do not see myself getting married in his church. Please tell me if I'm doing the right thing. Because i feel we all have our lives to live.
I need your advice because I'm already fed up of my dad's attitude and the church's doctrines.

You can also share similar experiences. If you have any
Thank you.

My dear, leave since your spirit has moved you to leave. My father is also a pastor so I understand what you are going through.
When you plan to leave, do it gradually.

Go to the church of your choice maybe 1st Sunday, 5he next Sunday go to deeper life, then next 2 Sundays go to the church you want. From there you will leave the church and there won't be too much burden

SAMBARRY:
I remember a colleague of mine who the mother was always policing about.the mother will.come to her school unannounced ,troll her and even be going through her hand bag and when she asked her mom why she was always policing her,the mother said because she married as a virgin and she too must be a virgin and this is a girl that saw herself in her parents wedding picture as the little bride in her parents wedding pictures whilst the mom was visibly pregnant with her kid brother.The babe got wind of the picture when her mom asked her to bring her phone in her wardrobe,that was when she accidentally saw the picture well hidden and tucked under her mom's clothes.she just laughed over it.when she was telling me I found it hilarious.

Yet the mom will be claiming I married as a virgin but she doesn't argue with her.it was then I realise they also lie too and create a picture of being morally perfect just to act as a moral police to their kids

Me oooooo , person nofit manipulate my emotion, if person dey choke me I dey comot am for road. African parents need to take a crash course in child development.

sure why not you can leave....its normal atlist am sure you are up to 20years of age...its not a must that you keep worshipping in your dads church...i used to be an anglican but later i realised that my mind was not there i had to follow my heart to were i enjoy worship with my God...dont you regret it its ok just take a bold step..God bless you...

donblazer10:
lol..exactly.. they feel their church is the only road to heaven

mehn, I hate that their ideology ehhn

Ghostmode2two:
One thing I hate about today's Christianity is how Christians cause divisions amongst the folds. I have never come across where followers of Paul in the Bible ever said they should not follow that of Apostle John. I thought it is said that the bible is inspired words of God, so why Deeper Life or Believers Love World or Redeem members will not like each other? I am sick and tired of all these. Girl follow your heart.

Best comment

Just be patient....you just not ripe for it yet, when the time is right everything is going to fall in place....

myself13:
Best comment

Thanks a bunch

frosbel2:


So if one of his rules included attending a hare krishna temple, she should be Christ like and attend with her father ??

Hypocrites !!

Children, obey your Parents in the Lord. ..is the command. Not obey satanic mentorship.

Obey God rather than man...

SAMBARRY:
you're not getting my point.I'm not saying SHE should be rebellious or disrespectful to her parents,but set BOUNDARIES

I'm also not saying SHE should go to a demonic church but she should pray,sieve the church she chooses whether it's in reconciliation with the bible and know whether you feel fulfilled

There are somethings that shouldn't be done for a child at a certain age

You cannot wear clothes for her,put food in her mouth or bath her.similarly you shouldn't choose church for her.let her parents allow her to exercise her brain and power of choice

NO matter how much you love a child,give her the opportunity to make her decision before you turn her to an imbecilic and over dependent child that cannot make decisions except mummy is there

The question YOU should be asking yourself is do I want to raise an emotionally matured individual,who has initiave and can make decisions for herself or do i want her to be totally dependent on me in every thing she does and making her own life decisions (EVERY African parents dream)
Almost like THEY want to think for you,determine WHERE you go,who you talk to,what type of company you should send your cv to etc

you've said it all. Thumbs up

twosquare:
Don't also forget Colossians 3:21 @Flourishh too

Let the children obey their command
And
Let the children obey theirs

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged

.

Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord

Analysiscorner:

But at 24, she is an adult who could choose her own religion.

Not if she is being sustained by her parent.

An adult is all round matured and independent

SAMBARRY:
you're not getting my point.I'm not saying SHE should be rebellious or disrespectful to her parents,but set BOUNDARIES

I'm also not saying SHE should go to a demonic church but she should pray,sieve the church she chooses whether it's in reconciliation with the bible and know whether you feel fulfilled

There are somethings that shouldn't be done for a child at a certain age

You cannot wear clothes for her,put food in her mouth or bath her.similarly you shouldn't choose church for her.let her parents allow her to exercise her brain and power of choice

NO matter how much you love a child,give her the opportunity to make her decision before you turn her to an imbecilic and over dependent child that cannot make decisions except mummy is there

The question YOU should be asking yourself is do I want to raise an emotionally matured individual,who has initiave and can make decisions for herself or do i want her to be totally dependent on me in every thing she does and making her own life decisions (EVERY African parents dream)
Almost like THEY want to think for you,determine WHERE you go,who you talk to,what type of company you should send your cv to etc

That is why I subscribe to cutting off dependence from parents as soon as they have done their best to fund your education.

He who pays the bill makes the rules...it just fair

makydebbie:
My dear, I left my father's church too. You're right, do whatever makes you happy.

we all know that..no surprises .You were ashamed of the old man right from time.. I dont think I blame you ..I think you have suffered enough abuse ( both emotionally and physically) from him sha..wish you luck in your endeavours...be happy..okay

quentin06:
hmm 24 and working, have to be radical to be the person you want to be.
the fact that at 24 you dont have a date shows something wrong with family set up, at least its obvious theres no love in your family

there a fundamental issues you need to address with ur dad before you leave him

Exactly, many of them are booless@Flourishh, are u in a relationship?

samuelgambo:
Bringing your father in this issue is not your main problem your main problem is, you cannot cope with the doctrines of the church. My friend you can go and marry a man from white garment church and automatically you will say bye bye to deeper life.

hahahaha, same thing my friend did ooo.

Dirkcoyt:


Me oooooo , person nofit manipulate my emotion, if person dey choke me I dey comot am for road. African parents need to take a crash course in child development.

hian.they think being a parent automatically confers them the absolute wisdom

Flourishh:
As we all know, many people believe the children of pastors are mostly wayward.
I for example, I'm a female and my dad is a pastor in Deeper life Bible Church and trust me I've been looking for ways to leave the church. My dad isn't even helping matters, he has serious temper issues that makes him say things that gets me, my mum and siblings angry. I really do not see myself getting married in his church. Please tell me if I'm doing the right thing. Because i feel we all have our lives to live.
I need your advice because I'm already fed up of my dad's attitude and the church's doctrines.

You can also share similar experiences. If you have any
Thank you.

wow, you are fed up with your dad's attitudes and the church doctrines because the are in contrast with what your youthful mind wants. As human beings we are free moral agents, that's why even our creator can not impose His will on us. My little sister it is your life like most young people will say, decide what you want for your self but don't forget it will still remain your live when you are faced with the outcome of this decision.

SAMBARRY:
hian.they think being a parent automatically confers them the absolute wisdom

I remember telling my mama that I'm not getting married but I will bore children. come see emotional blackmail! she was like all her friends are doing wedding for their children say wetin make she talk? she said people will say because she's a single mother that's why he doesn't want her child to marry also.

I just dey laugh, I no gree ooooh, when she see say I no gree she begin dey soft. I also started pointing to some of her friends that were married but later left the marriage, I told her what's the point. I think parents are just funny set of control freaks generally in Africa.

People will advice you, some fantastic advice, some terrible advice but the choice still remain yours my sister, the path you are about to walk, a lot of young people have walked in it, some with fantastic reasons, we have seen we have heard, I know of one she started like a joke, she got to a point that she brought a divorcée to her parent as the man she wanted to marry, the parent will not consent to that knowing it was a sign up for hell, she opted to get pregnant for same man and today she is a single mother, it was her life , it is still her life. My little sister think and think through don't base your decision on advise.

RZArecta2:
it will be better if you wait till you're independent ie you stay alone not when you're under his roof where you'll have to endure plenty talk

I totally don't agree with you. When you don't set boundary people will encroach into your private live and think they have right to direct and control you

SAMBARRY:
IF YOU don't feel fulfilled in the church where you ARE BUT you're going there to please your parents,you're wasting your time

My parents aren't pastors but I left the church.my pastor noticed and asked my parents and they told him sambarry now attends xyz church,pastor requested I see him so just to honor my parents,I went to see him.he started using emotional manipulation,guilt tripping and a little bit of emotional abuse.of course I could see his anger clearly which also pissed me off the more

Like why should you say because I attended a church since I was 8,gives you the entitlement mentality to think you own me?what further put me off was he criticizing the new church I attend and explaining why his church is better of.How superstitious and ignorant my church is and all thinking that will deter ME

He then gave an analogy of if you have a child you've groomed and nurtured since she was 8 and then she's grown and says she's leaving you and don't want anything to do with you,how will you feel?
Straight up I told him,I'm the CEO of my life,my life my rules.have a nice day sir and walked away immediately

First of all if you don't like your parents church,emancipate yourself from your parents.make them realise you're old enough to make your decisions and stand by the consequences

The first day as an older teenager back then THAT I told my parents I'm not following them to church,THEY thought it was a joke.when they were all dressed and I was STILL in my pyjamas at 9AM, and I carried a straight face insisting I AM not going,THEY realized I was serious.when my dad wanted to start getting confrontational I told him,the only thing that Will move me out of this house to church is physical force and I'm ready.moreover the worst you can say is for me to leave your house which I will gladly do

Omo the next Sunday,they were like sambarry we're already going to church o,help us close the gate.

The thing with African parents is that if you don't start enforcing what you want and how you should be treated,THEY will STILL be making decisions for you that YOU should be able to make for yourself without giving a damn about how you feel.if you don't want to go,tell him,he cannot drag YOU

I'll give another example.There's this friend of mine who the dad was similar to yourself,she owns a beer parlor now.the father forced her to church and she has always been orchestrating how she will leave,she just needed that one opportunity so whilst she was delivering her lines on the pulpit (she's a lead chorister,the dad snatched the microphone from HER and was yelling at her in public in the presence of the church on why she's wearing lip gloss and still has the audacity to sing.BABE,guess what my friend did.she immediately pulled off her deeper life turban,flung it on the pulpit and walked out from the church to go lodge in a hotel till she cooled off and got an apartment for herself.the beef between her and the dad was serious to the extent that she initially didn't want to invite the dad to her wedding if not for THE intervention of the mother.if you see how chic she looks in her makeup and dress untypical of a deeper you will marvel

When you don't set boundaries people will will think they have right over the decisions you take

SAMBARRY:
my dear I don't know how to accept dms o.I have been having challenge with it o.How are you anyway?

fine....mind sending me one then?

princessbarmie:
thank you I love your advice but I feel you do not understand how frustrating it can be sometimes as much as she wants to be free I won't lie to you your advice at the moment cannot help her to change the already made up mind instead you should advise that even in her quest of freedom she should make sure she doesn't miss her way I think that's the best

I quite understand dear, but the truth is ,all things being equal, in the next two or three years, she should get married, these remaining three years can not be compared with the 24 years she had spent. These three years must not spoil the last 24 years she had spent with them. I was in her shoes some years ago. But as a man I left the house to go and stay with my elder sister and search for job in another city, which my father quite agreed to. So since then I have been “free’. She should work towards her freedom in a way that the parents will not have any choice than to support her not even knowing she’s rooting for her freedom. By that, there won’t be any hitch between her and her father. But my fear is that hope this freedom will not open her to living an unrestrained and loose life? May God keep her under His wings in Jesus name, amen.

Colossians 3:20 - 21 Please try and read and ask your father to interpret to you that you

emerged01:

Payback is near. You may later see reason your dad was trying to guard you but then it maybe too late. If you are old enough,you need to be under your roof to do what you feel like doing.

Stop this useless emotional blackmail there is nothing like payback for leaving a church. Besides most of these pastors left their parents church so unless this payback is starting from the parents forget it... She is leaving church not christ.

barnsB:
People will advice you, some fantastic advice, some terrible advice but the choice still remain yours my sister, the path you are about to walk, a lot of young people have walked in it, some with fantastic reasons, we have seen we have heard, I know of one she started like a joke, she got to a point that she brought a divorcée to her parent as the man she wanted to marry, the parent will not consent to that knowing it was a sign up for hell, she opted to get pregnant for same man and today she is a single mother, it was her life , it is still her life. My little sister think and think through don't base your decision on advise.

I also know one who left and today she is a pastors wife winning more souls too