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Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by omoelerin1: 7:05pm On Feb 27, 2018
Emmyblaqie:
Wen I read OP's story, I jes took a peek in2 d relationship wit my dad nd wept. M jes 18, a jambite nd I cn say my dad z COMPLETELY WORSE dan ur dad..
My Dad's words cn delay or revert one's destiny. Ever since I knw him, notin gud has ever excaped his lips nt even by mistake. He's very TOXIC nd POISONOUS!!!..nobody myt undstnd wot I mean.
This z a man dat has locked all (5)of us including my mum outside til d nxt mawning. Nt once, even up till nw. We slept in our very tiny shop full of mosquitoes. He's attitude z nt only 2wards we d children bt also heavily on my mum. I dnt wn2 even strt otherwise I wnt end 2dae nd wen m done, u myt forgo ur dislike 4 ur dad nd hate my dad. God wil bless my mum abundantly, I cn die 4 her. Completely opposite of my dad. Weneva he strts laying curses, immediately, she'll reverse it. My dad made me the way I am nw nd d worse part z m still in d same haws nd itz still ongoing. D bible doesn't permit me otherwise, I'd av kaled my dad DEVIL IN HUMAN FORM!!
Dis z jes d tip of an iceberg. I feel ur pain OP.
Your Dad is playing with the time of his old age.

1 Like

Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by SonOfAfonja: 7:09pm On Feb 27, 2018
If you can look back in retrospect and smile, then it is not as terrible as mine....I've absolutely nothing to smile about growing up with my dad. I hated him and I still do....My theory is this: If your dad was born in the late 50's, 60's and so on, then he was part of the generation who ruined and failed this generation with their style of parenting.....

8 Likes

Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by westernized: 7:18pm On Feb 27, 2018
chillychill:
angry babe ure really lucky if u hear mine ull run cheesy

its kinda normal sha if u grow up with most african parents. dey act like votron cheesy but what doesn't kill u makes u stronger jare. Just kip praying for your brother cos it wont b funny mehn... If d wife isn't accepted let ur broda beg dem cos its not good to give ones inlaw a bad impression about ones family.

A yoruba adage says "ti eyan ba ta ara ile e ni opo eyan lo le ri ra ......(someone should epoxy me finish it) grin
Ibile la won eleyi....Lemme try "ti eniyan ba ta ara ile e ni opo, ko le ri ra lowon... e be lyk say i get am

1 Like

Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Nobody: 7:24pm On Feb 27, 2018
Shroud:
Yes, a super, super dad. Don't get me wrong I think you're spoilt.

So your dad used harsh words after you messed up the meal and had the love and good graces to apologise an you still complain? Give yourself a knock on the head and wake up to the read world not some cartoon fiction.

And he frown at you greeting males? You obviously don't know men anymore than to know life.

When you greet men you meet on the way, you have easily broken the first resistance and barrier for chiking and toasting.

Except in rare occasions, girls who greet men they meet are attention-craving and that's how must guys see it.




relax dear,i wore the shoe i knew where it pained me

7 Likes

Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by lilcutie8916(m): 7:34pm On Feb 27, 2018
I am very grateful that I had very lovely parents.
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Moboj: 7:37pm On Feb 27, 2018
I'll give a little tip
House of Gidigbo,whoever knows the meaning
Op it's the country's culture
If killing wasn't a sin,some of us won't have thought twice to end our parents then wink
One thing for sure,the next generations cant suffer this.The greatest forgiveness is for us to let go of the past and put up a smile when we see them
Stories are better left unsaid smiley

4 Likes

Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by gregyboy(m): 7:49pm On Feb 27, 2018
kamsibabylove:
lolzz when i was 12, i burnt the meat my dad asked me to cook and he told me that all the money being spent on me is going to be a waste. i couldnt get that out from my mind even though he apologised years later.
i was not even permitted to greet males unless visitors,my elder brothers and our pastor, if not my dad would be ranting on how i've become a wayward girl. mind you,i was 12.


Hmm..u just hit d nail on d quote my dad gives me when he finds any fault in my doings .“ all my money have spent for You is a waste” nd goes ahead telling visitors or neighbours ..i got use to it at a point still looking for d best reasons y parent's. Are manner less to thier children
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Twizzy30(m): 7:54pm On Feb 27, 2018
My dad.... I have no words to describe him, negative, hot tempered, wicked, stingy, there was no love between him and his children, he loves comparing us to other kids and even our cousins. Since 2 years ago, he has decided not to have anything to do with my elder brother and i, it's just my mum and brother doing thier best

3 Likes

Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by wayne4loan: 7:58pm On Feb 27, 2018
Mznaett:
Although your experience isn't a funny one but hey! you won't kill yourself jor.

Laugh it off grin



In my own case eh, my dad is a tyrant.

Whatever he says stands.

We don't keep friends, we don't go out etc.

In fact, he has extended this his behaviour to almost everybody that comes around even in church too.

During his tenure as the president of an organization in the church, those people that where under him heard wiiiiiiiii grin... If he's talking here eh, and you try to interrupt him shocked sorry is your name that day. You'll start to hear "Will you keep quiet there?" the president is talking and you're making noise... grin

The next word you'll hear from him is "mannerless generation" lol grin.
mannerless generation grin grin grin
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by piagetskinner(m): 8:11pm On Feb 27, 2018
nawa oo people have gone true a lot oo...


chai. your own is to the extreme....



I was raised with iron hand as well..no friends,no satellite dish, no going out..I was made to always read my books ...anytime I failed I was beaten terribly...and when I even passed(above average) I wasn't encouraged..there were still faults to be found


I was insulted quite a lot because I'm the firstborn...I even wondered at a time if I was adopted..

but I looked on the bright side..part of the discipline I received helped me in my university days...I didn't Hangout..few friends..no parties..school- fellowship- house

but I count it all joy...I have. smoother relationship with my dad now...


as a parent its always good to be friends to your kids, they'd be encouraged to share their struggles and deep secrets with you..but when you're always hostile To them they'd withdraw
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Lacoolmley: 8:16pm On Feb 27, 2018
Some parents are very wicked and toxic to their children and expect them to continue to swallow it for eternity. Control freaks that keep pushing their kids to the wall and when the react, they bring out the Bible and lay curses on their children thinking it would work. God is watching and will definitely repay them.

10 Likes

Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Annie2059: 8:40pm On Feb 27, 2018
SonOfAfonja:
If you can look back in retrospect and smile, then it is not as terrible as mine....I've absolutely nothing to smile about growing up with my dad. I hated him and I still do....My theory is this: If your dad was born in the late 50's, 60's and so on, then he was part of the generation who ruined and failed this generation with their style of parenting.....

I concur absolutely.. same with mine
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Nobody: 8:42pm On Feb 27, 2018
your dad was Adolf Hitler reincarnate.

1 Like

Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Pedrocross4568(m): 8:47pm On Feb 27, 2018
dayleke:
Sorry to ask this, but
"Are they really your parents ?"
Especially "the one we call mother".

No woman dare do like dat to her blood na...
. I reason this too. Thank God for my parents
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Nobody: 8:48pm On Feb 27, 2018
gregyboy:



Hmm..u just hit d nail on d quote my dad gives me when he finds any fault in my doings .“ all my money have spent for You is a waste” nd goes ahead telling visitors or neighbours ..i got use to it at a point still looking for d best reasons y parent's. Are manner less to thier children

the thing tire o
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by lereinter(m): 9:02pm On Feb 27, 2018
i can relate with your story, but quite some differences from mine

in some cases a man and his wife should not bring forth children to this world

they are just selfish
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Emmyblaqie: 9:12pm On Feb 27, 2018
[color=#006600][/color][quote author=omoelerin1 post=65422318] Your Dad is playing with the time of his old age.
Old age u say...dis z wot he has been doin since I was little nd in primary skul. I've heard my mum crying nd telling him dat he doesn't love us. He treats us like we ar sumone's else's family nd he's being forced to take care of us weda he lyks it or nt. U wnt undstnd sha...notin lyk old age cos he's nt even close to old.
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Emmyblaqie: 9:19pm On Feb 27, 2018
[color=#006600][/color]
Lacoolmley:
Some parents are very wicked and toxic to their children and expect them to continue to swallow it for eternity. Control freaks that keep pushing their kids to the wall and when the react, they bring out the Bible and lay curses on their children thinking it would work. God is watching and will definitely repay them.
[color=#006600][quote author=Lacoolmley post=65423700]
Thank u very much..diz z my Dad. Much worse dan u described sef!!
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Dafreeguy(m): 9:35pm On Feb 27, 2018
kamsibabylove:
lolzz when i was 12, i burnt the meat my dad asked me to cook and he told me that all the money being spent on me is going to be a waste. i couldnt get that out from my mind even though he apologised years later.
i was not even permitted to greet males unless visitors,my elder brothers and our pastor, if not my dad would be ranting on how i've become a wayward girl. mind you,i was 12.

That's more like a curse o! Ur pman no try
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Iseoluwani: 10:02pm On Feb 27, 2018
UrennaNkoli:
Well I'm over into my 30's, independent and not doing bad. So lets get straight to the story and mind you, its a true life story and all I say here is God's honest truth. Growing up was really tough for me and my brother but to be honest, my brother suffered more than I did so I'll emphasize more on him.

The kind of dad we had was more like a dictator. Life in that house was highly regimented. We were hardly allowed to go out or mingle with friends. This really affected us later in life as we ended up becoming introverts. My brother dared not be caught playing football or playing playstation 1 in the game house, he'll be severely dealt with. Our dad expected us to be with our books 24/7 which was near impossible. He dictated the kind of cloths my brother wear. My brother even flared up for our dad one day because he asked him to cut off his afro hair and his goatee beards. Sometime around 2008, he refused to give him pocket money to the university after they had a fight that morning because dad told him to surrender all his phones and laptop and take one visaphone to school instead. This resulted in an heated arguement which escalated to physical fight. I was there, dad who is naturally very aggresive and behaves like a lunatic hit lil bro first. The guy just stood still looking at dad and suprisingly, he never returned any punch. He was even asked to raise his hands and kneel as punishment. As if all these weren't shocking enough, lil bro was about 21 yrs of age at that time and all this was caused by the woman we call mother whose story I'll talk about later too.

Constantly, we were always embarassed in front of visitors. We dared not go out whenever a visitor was around else we'll be sent to get or do something after which dad must find a fault in it when what you did was obviously faultless. This will be folllowed by a rain of insults and verbal abuses to the extent that the visitor will even be pleading on our behalf. Dad did several things that made us question his psychological condition part of which I will list below.

1. He has his own masters bedroom which contained a washing machine. He can leave cloths in the washing machine and go to work without telling us anything. When he comes back, he start raining insults on me asking why I didn't finish up his cloths for him as if he was expecting us to use magic to know that there was cloths in there. So basically, he can leave a task and go out while expecting you to complete that task without telling you he left a task behind.
Even when you travel, they will never call you. Rather they'll expect you thats on transit to call them that you've arrived. If you don't call for months, they will never call to ask about your welfare whether you were sick or dead. They'll rather start raining insults on you for refusing to give them a call then I'm always left to ponder, since you dindn't hear from me why didnt you make any effort to reach me? what if there was something wrong from my own side. Their excuse was that anytime I called, I called only to ask for money.

2. I remember when we packed into our new house around 2009, the fence of that house collapsed one day due to heavy rainfall. The next day, he asked some bricklayers to come check the house and he told us to count the blocks they'll be bringing. That was all he said, count the blocks which we did. Lo and behold, he still came back from office to find a fault in what we did, raining insults on us and telling us how dumb we were because we failed to separate 9inches block from 6 inches block lol . For crying out loud, how was he expecting us to know? funny enough he didn't even give any instruction before he left.

3. So many encounters and bullshìts space and time will not permit to list them all but all these mess got my brother fed up as he left the house late 2009 and never returned till the following year. Funny enough, dad /mom weren't even concerned. They didn't even bother to look for him. He came back briefly after some 3 months to say hi to me and packed his load for good. TILL TODAY, HE NEVER RETURNED TO THAT HOUSE.

The Woman We Called Mom
This woman always supported dad whether he was right or wrong. To be honest, I never liked her one bit and I always felt bitter about it when I saw my peer groups and their everlasting bond with their own mom. They loved their mom like Gold but mine was a different story. She was stingy, she didn't know how to keep her mouth shut thats why I dreaded telling her any secret. She was someone that found it difficult sending me ordinary 2000 naira while in the university but if she hears there is a party tomorrow and she is to contribute 60k, she will look for that money. Honeslty, dad payed most of bills but this woman contributed nothing. She was earning close to 100k at that time and I've always wondered what she uses her salary for. She found it difficult keeping secrets, she must alow the whole world know. When I gained admission into the university, the whole world knew. When I graduated, the whole world knew. her friend even wrote a letter to her one day cautioning her about how she runs her mouth like tap. And mind you, she was very lazy. She'll rather sit in the living room watching africa magic than cooking for the family. She left everything to me. When I travelled, the whole house was in a mess. She didn't even bother to waah the bathroom and toilets or weeks as it was already turning brown. My brother before he left them wasn't close to her at all. They can be in the sitting room from morning till night together without exchanging a word. I don't blame him though, I blame the kind of parent we had. I pray my kids never go through all this. Dude is interested in bringing a wife home soon. I can't wait for the drama to unfold lol. He categorically called me and said If they accept fine and if they don't, he go on with his wedding. Even if na only 5 people attend, mariage na marriage.

Well u just wrote about my family, everything including the football, nothing missing.

EXCEPT THAT MY DAD IS DIVORCED NOW WITH MY MUM AND HAS RE MARRIED. EVEN THE WIFE HAS GIVEN BIRTH

UR Bro took the right step in moving out, this was my greatest mistake. I didn't move I remained. I spent a year to beg my dad to allow me do introduction now my wedding is next month n he wants me to live with him. My life is so frustrated now
..
My dad even told me he doesn't have time to attend my wedding

Smh.... I so much dislike my father
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Iseoluwani: 10:11pm On Feb 27, 2018
KOPT55:
There was period when my mom didn't bother to call me for many years. I didn't die. I just stopped expecting care and affection from her side and manned up.


Me too. I don't even believe I have family
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Nobody: 10:48pm On Feb 27, 2018
kunletexs:


in as much as you are a woman, you need to put yourself into the shoes of your mom, having a former husband that is abusive and she knows the kind of pain she went through with him both physically and mentally so she is in her own way trying as much as possible to ensure that you did not end up with a man like that. but one thing i like about your statement was that she loved you and it is just the love she has for you all this while but she felt she cannot afford to have failed in marriage and fail again in bringing you up wayward thus she 'hid' her loving and soft side to bring you up first and latter she started showing you the love in small dose. try to understand and appreciate her that today you are in a loving marriage (if you are married) as you cannot deny the facts that she did not influence you a bit
u are right, she influenced me in almost every aspect of my life. looking back, I can tell u she really loved us(didn't felt that way then tho, I was a child) but thank God 4 everything now.
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by chillychill(f): 11:37pm On Feb 27, 2018
westernized:
Ibile la won eleyi....Lemme try "ti eniyan ba ta ara ile e ni opo, ko le ri ra lowon... e be lyk say i get am




wasere my ti wa n ti wa paddy.. u get am cheesy
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by lenghtinny(m): 11:42pm On Feb 27, 2018
My Dad was a disciplinarian but he handled me with diplomacy while growing up because I was his last kid and he had me when he was getting old ( I heard he was extremely strict when he was much younger).
After his death, one of my over zealous elder brother felt he's the one in the best position to fill his shoes but he was really bad at it.... He tried so hard to instill fear into me but it got to a point I'd to let him know that he was my brother not my father...
We only lived together for few months before I left because I couldn't tolerate his excesses any longer... He was just this maniac that thinks the only way to control people is by frightening them because he always did the same to his girlfriend, treating her like a five year old kid...

It's being years now since I last saw him, till this day I hate his guts.... I hope he's changed cos he has a kid now...
No one deserves to be raised by such people...
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by EzekielMab(m): 11:46pm On Feb 27, 2018
kamsibabylove:
lolzz when i was 12, i burnt the meat my dad asked me to cook and he told me that all the money being spent on me is going to be a waste. i couldnt get that out from my mind even though he apologised years later.
i was not even permitted to greet males unless visitors,my elder brothers and our pastor, if not my dad would be ranting on how i've become a wayward girl. mind you,i was 12.

How old are you now ?
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by westernized: 11:48pm On Feb 27, 2018
chillychill:





wasere my ti wa n ti wa paddy.. u get am cheesy
No forget to buy guguru and epa to reward me o

1 Like

Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by chillychill(f): 11:53pm On Feb 27, 2018
westernized:
No forget to buy guguru and epa to reward me o

u no want garri to top am?
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by lilyheaven: 12:23am On Feb 28, 2018
grin grin grin
GambaOsaka:
I always thought my dad had some kind of spiritual prowess because of the following reasons;

We all knew his car honk sound and could recognise that sound 200 metres away. We would rush upstairs to pick our books and form reading. He would come in , we will all greet and continue 'reading', next thing we would hear is "Have I not told you boys to stop playing ball downstairs?".

Secondly, at times he would tell you not to put the TV on while he's away. And immediately he leaves, we switch it on, then in the evening when we hear his car honk we switch off the TV and pick our books. He walks in, move close to where the TV set is and then he goes again " Who switched on this television?".

When I grew much older I found out he never had any magical powers. We were just being kids.
We had sweats all over our bodies and the TV would have been heated up. All he had to do was to touch the TV. grin
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by lilyheaven: 12:50am On Feb 28, 2018
I was never allowed to keep friends not even same sex, it was just me and my little ones, mother was a no go area, she was always angry of something, and she always claim she has no money, she can't even spend ordinary #20 for paracetamol if any of us fall sick, she w

2 Likes

Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by Jyde89: 1:25am On Feb 28, 2018
Reading all this horrible stories about parents from you guys,i just can't help but love my parent the more; we didn't have that much while growing up but they made us feel like royalties, telling us they didn't want us to experience the same thing they experienced while growing up. Op I'm sure your father was more richer than mine, my father was a Danfo driver then and my mom was a simstress ; but you'd think we had middle class parent the way we carried ourselves outside the home. Mom is late now though(still miss her like crazy) but i pray God quickly pick my call so i can repay dad for being such a good father. Unfortunately Dad is gone too. Can't believe the empty feeling his departure has left me with. The guy was 74yrs for crying out loud, but that's what happens when you have super parents. Well it's official guys; I'm now an official member of the Orphan Association of Nigeria. I hope one day, God will grant me the strength to tell you all how much he and my mom sacrificed for us. Especially him, that guy suffer no be small; I just heard about some of the things he went through after his demise which made me love and respect him the more. That guy fought and worn the battle of life for his children. Adieu Papa Samuel.

3 Likes

Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by horia: 1:50am On Feb 28, 2018
UrennaNkoli:

We can only look back and thank God for the kind of woman we have become. Mine was hell on earth.
this is the part I like about the life of a woman. Though my sisters don't like like like like like like like me saying it. So much fun when you recall the memories, so much stories to tell. So much, makes you a Mother.
Re: Did You Have This Kind Of Parent As A Kid? How Did You Survive? by baugustine(f): 2:23am On Feb 28, 2018
PapaNnamdi:
My neighbor, i hate that man
Hahahahaha is your neighbour your father grin
PapaNnamdi:
My neighbor, i hate that man
Hahahahaha is your neighbour your father

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