A friend shared this with me on whatsapp African Kids. When I was about nine years old, one Saturday morning, my mom travelled and my siblings weren't around, it was only me and my Dad that were at home. I decided to do something great, first to make my Dad happy and second to make my mom ask who did this when she returns. I decided to mop the house. To make the places clean. I took the rubber bucket in the house while my dad was in his room, put some water and was carrying it to clean the room. Suddenly the bucket slipped from my hand and broke. The bucket broke. I was sad. But I felt bad more because I couldn't fulfil my dream of making my Dad say "you are a good boy", that statement that always made me high inside. I had to first clean the spilled water and report my mistake to my Dad. So when my Dad came out and saw the splashed water and broken bucket, I was still explaining how I wanted to mop the house and then... He was getting a whip and he flogged me. I wept and more so bitterness filled my heart. Oh this is a man I wanted to make happy, did he really see I was trying to be a good child, doing a job without being asked? I went to the back of the building and cried bitterly. As I was crying, I vowed that I will hate back, do evil and even leave that house. Revenge is what I wished. Though little time cleansed the resolution but the experience is still here even after two decades. Most of our African parents due to poverty, transferred aggression and impatience kill the genius in their kids. They flog out the problem solver in their kids. When the child would take one week to figure out how to Make an electric car with woods, how his parents would be called the parents of the one that invented a car... Just as he is about starting the construction, the mother would use a whip and format his brain. "is it the expensive firewood that I bought that you are cutting, have you washed all the plates in this house it's now car you want to build, car builder, do you know how much firewood costs and do expect me to cook the food you and your brothers will eat with my hair?" Each statement is sandwiched with a slap. Such kills thinking and morale. It makes kid very bitter. The African child has no support to be adventurous. The African kid's innovation is killed when he's still trying to start. The genius in him gets a stupid mockery. His actions are judged and not his intentions. Even if you have a mischievous child, causing problems everywhere, be careful with that little child. Be careful enough to separate when he is being unruly and when he's being innovative. Ask him questions, if he starts crying before talking or if he keeps quiet, give him confidence to talk. When he takes scissors and cut your clothes because the tailor in him is shacking his head, the action may leave you furious at first such you can't remember his/her good intentions, you can scold him but the next day, make sure you go to the market and get her pieces of clothes to practice with. Tell her/ him to sew all he wants. A dream suppressed in a child may never rise again. The African child do not have access to the best of schools, he doesn't have access to the best enabling environment, he lacks the best of teachers and resources. He is naturally disadvantaged to be an innovator, the last thing he needs is for his mind to be shut from exploring that equal advantage of thoughtfulness. Meanwhile my Dad is a great man, just an African parents who can make decision catalyzed by poverty, many of our parents are great, but we the younger generation should be better. We should let our kids evolve.

Let's dialogue this, What's your ideas and opinion on this ?


Moderators kindly move to front page.

Gucciqueen38, Cadec007, SapphirePRINCEX, Parismoore, Collinometricx, Chii8, Amiable212, Wes50, Let's begin.....

Wes50:
Yeah that kinda altitude is common with our African parents, especially the once managing to survive. They think beating, shouting and flogging a child is the best way to train their children. But in many cases they end up making their children to fear and hate dem. Our generation should learn from our parents and balance it all, from taking disciplinary measures and as well listening to our kids.

You are right bro, dat why our own generation have to learn from their mistakes to bring out the best out of our kids.
Thanks for contributing !!!

I grew up wanting to be Chinue Achebe. I enjoyed drawing and writing story books from my Primary school days till one day, my mom gathered all my work and my paintings and burnt them, said I must study Pharmacy...


Now, Freelancing is what keeps food on my table.
No matter how you try to suppress Destiny, it's always indelible.

SapphirePRINCEX:
I grew up wanting to be Chinue Achebe. I enjoyed drawing and writing story books from my Primary school days till one day, my mom gathered all my work and my paintings and burnt them, said I must study Pharmacy...


Now, Freelancing is what keeps food on my table.
No matter how you try to suppress Destiny, it's always indelible.

Thanks for sharing your story, I hope this will make our parents and we the upcoming generation to adjust....

some beatings are not appropriate but sometimes, its is needed. a child always tearing his school notes to make inanimate objects need a little flogging after d first correction

gloria34:
some beatings are not appropriate but sometimes, its is needed. a child always tearing his school notes to make inanimate objects need a little flogging after d first correction

You are right !!! We are in Africa where we flog our children when they do misbehave, but we should not forget their are still kids, not everything a child do deserve punishment, sometime we can sit them down and tell them the situation of things.......... This sometime is painful than flogging (Some can relate to this)
Note: Am not against flogging of our children.

Thanks for your contribution

.

I can totally relate to the op's story. How an initially intended good act of yours just to please your parents turns into a disaster. In the end, you just regret why you ever made an attempt in the first place. Our parents must understand that verbal abuse goes a long way in the upbringing of the child.
Hopefully, we wont have to make the same mistakes our parents made.
But I must sincerely appreciate the support i received from my mum. She always assisted and supported me in every crappy idea I had, even to the extent of walking through the length and breath of the market searching for raw materials. In the long run, it made me believe in myself and saw the need for self development.

Plaitex:
I can totally relate to the op's story. How an initially intended good act of yours just to please your parents turns into a disaster. In the end, you just regret why you ever made an attempt in the first place. Our parents must understand that verbal abuse goes a long way in the upbringing of the child.
Hopefully, we wont have to make the same mistakes our parents made.
But I must sincerely appreciate the support i received from my mum. She always assisted and supported me in every crappy idea I had, even to the extent of walking through the length and breath of the market searching for raw materials. In the long run, it made me believe in myself and saw the need for self development.

''Some parents and their ideology''

Whao, Your mom is awesome.

Our African parents should try to learn from their mistakes