Moukandjo:

Look sis, you could be a very wonderful person, but even the most horrible persons think they're the 8th Wonder of the World!

That's cold man.

Olumyyde:

Wow! I like ur response, shows individuality in opinions. Nice one sir, only part I still dont agree with is u saying 'mine is just louder'. Let us be d judge of dat. Shalom.

I am not here to be liked or to inspire you or to be popular or to even make you grade me. I am just telling you what is truth, mine is louder and that is the truth, if that sounds like I am bragging then that needs not concern me, not at all. You are to take it or leave it. It is how it is.

ameri9ja:


Hate to break it to ya - you'd marry the wrong person. Guaranteed. That's just how it's set up.
_____________________________________
Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person

May 28, 2016

IT’S one of the things we are most afraid might happen to us. We go to great lengths to avoid it. And yet we do it all the same: We marry the wrong person.

Partly, it’s because we have a bewildering array of problems that emerge when we try to get close to others. We seem normal only to those who don’t know us very well. In a wiser, more self-aware society than our own, a standard question on any early dinner date would be: “And how are you crazy?”

Show Full Article

maybe you will but I won't

234GT:
Married people should stop making the thing look like rocket science. Marriage requires only the commitment and determination of the 2 individuals involved to work.
A woman committed to the success of her marriage won't pick up FOOLISH quarrels with her husband, and a committed man won't start sleeping around.
It's simple.

God bless you !

blackbeau1:
maybe you will but I won't

It is not me that said so. New York Times did.
Here is the full article:

Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person

By Alain de Botton

May 28, 2016

IT’S one of the things we are most afraid might happen to us. We go to great lengths to avoid it. And yet we do it all the same: We marry the wrong person.

Partly, it’s because we have a bewildering array of problems that emerge when we try to get close to others. We seem normal only to those who don’t know us very well. In a wiser, more self-aware society than our own, a standard question on any early dinner date would be: “And how are you crazy?”

Perhaps we have a latent tendency to get furious when someone disagrees with us or can relax only when we are working; perhaps we’re tricky about intimacy after sex or clam up in response to humiliation. Nobody’s perfect. The problem is that before marriage, we rarely delve into our complexities. Whenever casual relationships threaten to reveal our flaws, we blame our partners and call it a day. As for our friends, they don’t care enough to do the hard work of enlightening us. One of the privileges of being on our own is therefore the sincere impression that we are really quite easy to live with.

Our partners are no more self-aware. Naturally, we make a stab at trying to understand them. We visit their families. We look at their photos, we meet their college friends. All this contributes to a sense that we’ve done our homework. We haven’t. Marriage ends up as a hopeful, generous, infinitely kind gamble taken by two people who don’t know yet who they are or who the other might be, binding themselves to a future they cannot conceive of and have carefully avoided investigating.

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For most of recorded history, people married for logical sorts of reasons: because her parcel of land adjoined yours, his family had a flourishing business, her father was the magistrate in town, there was a castle to keep up, or both sets of parents subscribed to the same interpretation of a holy text. And from such reasonable marriages, there flowed loneliness, infidelity, abuse, hardness of heart and screams heard through the nursery doors. The marriage of reason was not, in hindsight, reasonable at all; it was often expedient, narrow-minded, snobbish and exploitative. That is why what has replaced it — the marriage of feeling — has largely been spared the need to account for itself.

What matters in the marriage of feeling is that two people are drawn to each other by an overwhelming instinct and know in their hearts that it is right. Indeed, the more imprudent a marriage appears (perhaps it’s been only six months since they met; one of them has no job or both are barely out of their teens), the safer it can feel. Recklessness is taken as a counterweight to all the errors of reason, that catalyst of misery, that accountant’s demand. The prestige of instinct is the traumatized reaction against too many centuries of unreasonable reason.

But though we believe ourselves to be seeking happiness in marriage, it isn’t that simple. What we really seek is familiarity — which may well complicate any plans we might have had for happiness. We are looking to recreate, within our adult relationships, the feelings we knew so well in childhood. The love most of us will have tasted early on was often confused with other, more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parent’s warmth or scared of his anger, of not feeling secure enough to communicate our wishes. How logical, then, that we should as grown-ups find ourselves rejecting certain candidates for marriage not because they are wrong but because they are too right — too balanced, mature, understanding and reliable — given that in our hearts, such rightness feels foreign. We marry the wrong people because we don’t associate being loved with feeling happy.

We make mistakes, too, because we are so lonely. No one can be in an optimal frame of mind to choose a partner when remaining single feels unbearable. We have to be wholly at peace with the prospect of many years of solitude in order to be appropriately picky; otherwise, we risk loving no longer being single rather more than we love the partner who spared us that fate.

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Finally, we marry to make a nice feeling permanent. We imagine that marriage will help us to bottle the joy we felt when the thought of proposing first came to us: Perhaps we were in Venice, on the lagoon, in a motorboat, with the evening sun throwing glitter across the sea, chatting about aspects of our souls no one ever seemed to have grasped before, with the prospect of dinner in a risotto place a little later. We married to make such sensations permanent but failed to see that there was no solid connection between these feelings and the institution of marriage.

Indeed, marriage tends decisively to move us onto another, very different and more administrative plane, which perhaps unfolds in a suburban house, with a long commute and maddening children who kill the passion from which they emerged. The only ingredient in common is the partner. And that might have been the wrong ingredient to bottle.

The good news is that it doesn’t matter if we find we have married the wrong person.

We mustn’t abandon him or her, only the founding Romantic idea upon which the Western understanding of marriage has been based the last 250 years: that a perfect being exists who can meet all our needs and satisfy our every yearning.

We need to swap the Romantic view for a tragic (and at points comedic) awareness that every human will frustrate, anger, annoy, madden and disappoint us — and we will (without any malice) do the same to them. There can be no end to our sense of emptiness and incompleteness. But none of this is unusual or grounds for divorce. Choosing whom to commit ourselves to is merely a case of identifying which particular variety of suffering we would most like to sacrifice ourselves for.

This philosophy of pessimism offers a solution to a lot of distress and agitation around marriage. It might sound odd, but pessimism relieves the excessive imaginative pressure that our romantic culture places upon marriage. The failure of one particular partner to save us from our grief and melancholy is not an argument against that person and no sign that a union deserves to fail or be upgraded.

The person who is best suited to us is not the person who shares our every taste (he or she doesn’t exist), but the person who can negotiate differences in taste intelligently — the person who is good at disagreement. Rather than some notional idea of perfect complementarity, it is the capacity to tolerate differences with generosity that is the true marker of the “not overly wrong” person. Compatibility is an achievement of love; it must not be its precondition.

Romanticism has been unhelpful to us; it is a harsh philosophy. It has made a lot of what we go through in marriage seem exceptional and appalling. We end up lonely and convinced that our union, with its imperfections, is not “normal.” We should learn to accommodate ourselves to “wrongness,” striving always to adopt a more forgiving, humorous and kindly perspective on its multiple examples in ourselves and in our partners.

Alain de Botton (@alaindebotton) is the author of the novel “The Course of Love.”

Donald3d:
Chai God dey your back.

Thank you bro... God really dey my back and God pass dem 2

He passed away,I can't just stop crying everyday,every minutes,[every seconds..quote author=ameri9ja post=65849829]

Lost him to what/who?[/quote]

Bjgirl1:
He passed away,I can't just stop crying everyday,every minutes,[every seconds..quote author=ameri9ja post=65849829]

Lost him to what/who?

Oh, so sorry dear

Thanks

ameri9ja:


Oh, so sorry dear

Which person yansh.

Or who are u talking to.

Pls Bleep off my mention.


When u are married for 12years and u still happy den come back and rant or spew ur trash by den.

ZombieTAMER:


Better pack well
Make I no open your yanshh for here
Pretenders

Amen.


But there are other qualities that are worth more than money. And that's what he has. Not what u think.


Winks

ussy09:

That man go get money big time.

Thanks jare.







quote author=NairaMaster1 post=65845849]

I celebrate you.
A through mother.
Never mind all the adulterous people.[/quote]

He has something better than that.
God fearing
Hard working
Guides well
....s perfectly
Teaches the kids God's words
Pampers his wife... The list is too long and I can continue but NL space cannot contain it.


Do u know the best part?






M 12years gone and still counting.

ussy09:

That man go get money big time.

Acidosis:


hmnn.. you don't sound fulfilled

Is there something/advice you want to share?

My first statement is that there is no Marriage in Heaven.
We are all fulfilling all righteousness.
Be you Christian or Muslim.....marriage is a life contract.
Apart from whoever was forced to marry someone or an arranged marriages. You have time to open your eyes...open your eyes....intact ask question and make a lot of enquaries before going into the contract. I blame whoever doesn’t know much or perhaps all about his or her partner before jumping into the marriage.
If you have questions.....am available on opebell@gmail.com.
Marriage is a good thing
Wedding is wonderful
Having children is great
All thanks to God.
But no matter what....put God first
Make God the foundation of your marriage.
Forgive easily and all time never let your anger consume you or destroy your home.

Billyonaire:


I am not here to be liked or to inspire you or to be popular or to even make you grade me. I am just telling you what is truth, mine is louder and that is the truth, if that sounds like I am bragging then that needs not concern me, not at all. You are to take it or leave it. It is how it is.

In your mind bro, in your mind. Lol,because that's a far cry from being an inspiration to me.

Biglittlelois:
Well i'm not married yet but if he passes 80% of my checklist, anything that comes after that will be taken with levity

Hi ma'am. I sent u a mail.

Tinamoore:


On the contrary, knew him way back in the university. Married him when he had no money.Sacrificed my chance to travel abroad to him.but when he started making money, he changed completely.have now abandoned me and the kids probably for his white girlfriend

So no, mine was not about two months dating.it's about a man who acted like he loved me cos he was poor.but showed his true colour when he started making money.

you saw the signs but don't want to confess that you were a desperado

gold digger

Liliyann:


Now that's a different case but in a situation where the guy is poor,lazy and not humble,I go just carry my bag and children waka.

kimbraa:
Why do you have this sickening formed opinion that everything revolve around money? Before they said NO, they must have had reasons enough to say NO that doesn't necessarily revolve around money. What of nauseating characters, incompatibility, etc. And FYI, marriage isn't boring with the right person.

all na euphemism fo money

ask urself why o one is looking for you

chibabe259:



see them na only Nwanyi dem dey luk for here.

ameri9ja:


Question: how can u correctly have and raise children without marriage??
MARRIAGE IS ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!

co habitation

MIKOLOWISKA:
co habitation

Co-habitation is marriage. It is called common law marriage.

ajl:


What if your partner wouldn't stop messing up.

why you marry am

ameri9ja:


Co-habitation is marriage. It is called common law marriage.

no its not
forget yankee trying to trap man to serve the machine

MIKOLOWISKA:
no its not
forget yankee trying to trap man to serve the machine

It is not a piece of paper that makes a marriage. It is living together tying to raise a family. That's marriage.

YelloweWest:

U think m9ney can keep a marriage?

Go to court and see rich people filing for divorce everyday.

By the way are u even aware that dangote is a 3 time divorcee??

cos dangote din't stand for gold diggers

dayummm
na wa o

Oblongata:
bros that orgasm aspect sef...

na if she dey gree you do

e go reach time wey una vex no go gree you sex for months

una go just be flatmates

e go resemble prison only say you can move around the city

you become emotional punching bag

this happens usually towards the 10th year

have been there, and i have great talks with friends

we mostly make fun of ourselves nowadays

feminism

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
So we don't know our responsibilities anymore? What do u think is the cause?

ameri9ja:


It is not a piece of paper that makes a marriage. It is living together tying to raise a family. That's marriage.

not paper but witnesses to vows

look for the one not anyone

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
ahaaaaa... That's the world we live in. Now the anthem on men's lips is "what's she bringing to the table ". So what could be the possible solution?

no they just know where free sex is available

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Men love feminists(liberal). A woman who knows what she wants, has her say, independent, and can communicate effectively in any intellectual discourse. I think social media is the cause of men becoming less masculine

why you force yourself on non compatible person

MsFaith:


A situation where you are ready to give your best but your spouse is not cooperating, it can be disheartening. Marriage is not only about bearing children.