(Little things that count: Family)

Before now, I had the mindset that, to be a strong father, I have to yell on kids, beat them until they have marks on body, when correcting them. I did this continuously until I found out that, my kids were becoming fearful in nature, not friendly with me; I was much of a scary father, that the kids run in whenever they heard my horn. They bolt in whenever I am in and behind me, I heard of their aggression. It was unpleasing to me,  why were these kids like this? Then I stumble on a short work that spoke on temperament and child raising. The way we behaved as parents and how it affects our children. I found  myself guilty, my yelling at the kids made them cold towards me, aggressive to others. They were really not expressing themselves the right way. Do I hate them? No, just wanted to prove I was capable of raising them(with strong hand).

I try hard to change. This is how I did it,  I replaced  yelling with making them know what they did, why it is wrong and the reason not to do it again. I also made them know them that, whenever they do it, I will punish with beating,  deprivations(No games,  no watching of favorite show, no snacks from work, work in the garden alone). This worked more than yelling at the kids and not making them to deeply know why I am yelling at them.

It worked for me,  I yelled less, the kids seemed to become wiser, they try as much not to keep doing things they felt were out of reason. I told  them.  'Before you do it, think, is it reasonable or not. How will it affect the family, my parents, my siblings, my friends?  It guided their actions. Another observation, was they became ease and free,  they played like other children at home,  we shared life and I can openly say,  I enjoyed it. It was during  this new time, I found out my kids had different gifts, one was an engineer by gift, he just love anything  machine and working on them. Another would run the whole house in minute and panted for more. My daughter has taken after my mother, she loves buying and selling. I decided with my wife that, we will help them built these gifts to great height. With what I saw as the reaction of the children to our decision,  is one of the highest thing you can do for them, build their passion and dream.


For more, visit
www.wurastories.com.ng