There is a gloomy air hanging over Aso Rock as President Buhari mourns his favorite and oldest cow "Hadiza" formerly known as "Betty".

The Trustee of the now expanded Buhari ranch in Duara who begged www.trolliciousTroll.com not to be named which we will name later in order for you to verify the authenticity of this article, told our reporters that "hadiza" formerly known as "betty" died in the early hours of Friday. She or rather it has since been buried according to Islamic rites. But the ranch trustee who goes by the name Ibrahim Kazure who is originally from Maradi in Niger Republic, hinted that the corpse (or rather carcass) of late "hajiya Hadiza, has since been scavenged by local youth almost immediately after the Iman Qadri of Duara administered the last rites.

When probed on why the President will go to so much extent to mourn what is supposed to be pepper soup and suya material, Alhaji Kazure, who we must add begged us not to mention his name as a source but which we did here for the sake of authentication, told us at Troll.com, that the President is "highly fond of betty" who happened to have been converted to Islam during the Sharia debacle to "hadiza".

The long suyanized herbivore was said to be a favorite of one of the President's herd of lesbo cows and Alhaji Kazure confirmed that she died as a heifer - virgin cow with no offspring.

Kazure will later tell this publication that, "hadiza" died at the ripe old age of 29yrs. The reporter did not believe this at first, but after some research it was confirmed that cows could live up to 30yrs - and that is only if they were owned by die-hard vegetarians.

When probed further, Alhaji Kazure, who happens to be the trustee of the Buhari & Yusuf ranch, located in Duara said he suspected Hajiya Aisha to have been the one to have poisoned the old cow.

Piqued by this, this reporter asked why he will say "such a haramatic crap? Does he think the President is into haramatic relationship with Hadiza the cow formerly known as Betty". Kazure replied that the President is so fond of the cow and reminded us that the president is a fulani and also that the president gets daily briefing of her status. Kazure, even stated that Yusuf and Zahra suckled from Betty now known as Hadiza but since longed suyanized.


Troll.com then contacted Aso Rock to find out how the President was doing but the combined phone numbers of Femi Adesina, Garba Shehu and Luaretta "Palmy drunkard" Oneche where not going through.

We then put a call to our very expensive inside mole in Aso Rock, who we will not reveal, who confirmed that truly the President is in mourning. Our mole who happens to be from Kano and works in the office of Abbe Kyari as his personal assistant, also confirmed to us that the trio of Kogi, Kaduna and Borno state governors where at the burial site of late Betty.

Governor Yayaha Bello is currently at Aso Rock consoling the President.

I recommend Combisunate for adults.

You will be okay.

Kpele

Owamudia:
I recommend Combisunate for adults.

You will be okay.

Kpele

Mourn betty

Pls.

This is not time to play partisan politics

This is so funny

Buhari is a lesbian goat

Buhari with late Hadiza

This is damn funny

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