There’s a difference between man marry woman and woman marry man. The diferences is clear.

It's not stupid in anyway. There's nothing wrong for a husband to give a helping hand to his wife while she works

ahahahaa....you keep reminding me of SA. The typical way an SA lady feels and thinks. Well, let's leave the matter in order not to be more emotional. Kisses....

XhosaNostra:


Living in South Africa doesn't make you an expert on South African people. You can only form an opinion based on your observation. You're still an outsider. My opinion is also that of an outsider. I may not understand what motivates you to do the things you do, but you do. You call it romanticism. I see it otherwise. Different perceptions from different viewing points.

IDK, what you expect me to say on the Naija girls vs. South African girls topic because quite frankly, I really don't care who you think is sweeter. That's your taste & your choice. It doesn't bother me one bit. Plus, I also don't expect you to say otherwise. South African men probably feel the same way about us. It's to be expected.

If a man can love his wife this much.

If a man can humble himself this much.

If the man has job and not dependent on his wife.

If his wife loves him and submits to him in all things.

By all means, all men should think thus.

We will live long giving them the impression that they are priceless eggs that indeed they are.

But otherwise,...

Pusyiter:
ahahahaa....you keep reminding me of SA. The typical way an SA lady feels and thinks. Well, let's leave the matter in order not to be more emotional. Kisses....

No hard feelings.

Opentokwowledge:
Nope, women don't ALWAYS do the pounding in those days. Sometimes, the women do the cooking while the men go on with pounding. When I was still very young, I usually go visiting my grandpa on his farm during holidays and I will open a window to what it was like then. It was a large farm situated in the outskirts of the main town where the real houses were. Different families have their farmlands apportioned out and the number of workers working could be as many as possible depending on the financial capacity of the farmer to hire labourers or his readiness to cooperate with other farmers so they can help each other out on the farm, Ours was the former system but my grandparents were not the type that will sit back and watch while the labourers do their job, so we usually joined in on the farm work, set traps for bush meat and in the evenings, bring back yam and the bush meat to the farmstead. We the boys would roast the meat, the men do the pounding while the clearly fagged out women do the cooking. On other days that the women don't go with us to work the farm though, they're expected to have prepared the sumptuous pounded yam and egusi soup to match before we arrive at the stead. Division of Labor was the order of the day then, not slavery or any synonym of it in any form.

This is very cool and gives a good glimpse of African rural life. Sounds like a good and wholesome life.

This is why I Gbadu you. ....and you are in a Nigerian Forum? I laff in Swahili.....
Pls, click like if you love 9ja and share if 9jas are the hottest.lol

XhosaNostra:


I'm not looking for a Nigerian boyfriend or husband lol.

pcguru1:


The guy ? Maybe he could be sha do you know him ?

I don't.... His comment meant that

Pusyiter:
This is why I Gbadu you. ....and you are in a Nigerian Forum? I laff in Swahili.....
Pls, click like if you love 9ja and share if 9jas are the hottest.lol

Smh. If I wanted a Nigerian boyfriend, why would I be looking for one online (one who's probably faraway), when there's thousands of them on the streets, outside? Isn't that limiting my chances?

I'm not here looking for a man, I'm here to have a conversation & learn.

only a 25 year old and above matured men can do this... while 25years old BOYS reason this post like a toddler. ur wife aint ur slave, do this for her once a while. it give ur home joy # IF YOU WERE IN HER SHOES#... ur family background determine how u will treat ur wife.... Mumu people, when them reach Abroad dem go do am for Oyinbo... OYA who get sense [ doing it for ur african wife who would appreciate it to keep a home] or [ being a slave to ur oyinbo wife who wouldn't appreciate it because of Permanent Visa]

lasisi69:
I don't.... His comment meant that

I guess so, as much as he's helping I don't like the idea of one person working and the other person loafing around. I think its rude.

Fadiga24:
That's their love I see nothing stupid in that

As if there is a guideline on what a husband should do and should not do in the house.

the bible specifies some of the duty of a husband and his wife

Look no further., distance is no barrier. We are all here to learn but you kinda different SA lady specie. Holler you when next I vist SA....

XhosaNostra:


Smh. If I wanted a Nigerian boyfriend, why would I be looking for one online (one who's probably faraway), when there's thousands of them on the streets, outside?

I'm not here looking for a man, I'm here to have a conversation & learn.

revontuli:


This is very cool and gives a good glimpse of African rural life. Sounds like a good and wholesome life.

It is. Tasking though, but fulfilling!

Pusyiter:
Look no further., distance is no barrier. We are all here to learn but you kinda different SA lady specie. Holler you when next I vist SA....

LOL!

By then I probably will be with Chinedu, the internet cafe guy

No woman would see her brother in this position and not get worried,OR if her father marries a new wife and she seems him in this position! LMAO

StylesX:
I think its stupidity

See it as her day off, haba she too nah human before mother

XhosaNostra:


No, don't get it twisted, it's not about being a "wife material" because that's not my aim or what I'm about.

I believe that every single one of us has an idea or mental image of the kind of man/woman we like. The qualities that attracts us to the opposite sex. I like very manly men & my own personalised version of an ideal mate, is not someone that pounds yam. No, someone like that can NEVER be with me! I Xhosanostra, would NEVER sit down & watch my man do all the housework while I sit there looking like a useless lump of flesh. That is NOT me. I would NEVER feel proud of myself, watching someone else do things around me while I sit there twiddling my thumbs. That's not how I was brought up. I was taught to contribute & earn my keep. Elbow grease & independence was the order of the day at my house, hence I'm not comfortable watching other people do things I'm also capable of doing. I actually don't mind housework, but it must not be expected of me or forced on me. It's one of those things that helps me to get rid of excess energy & relax. It's therapeutic for me. I don't do it to impress anyone. I'm doing it because it benefits me mentally & also because I like living in a clean, orderly space. Finish.

so you're an avatar fan ... I like Korra, sad Nickelodeon cancelled the show and now it's continued in comic books ...Legend of korra; turf wars.. read it, it's interesting. only part one and two have been released though

Ladyhippolyta88:
But if it was the woman she is a virtuous wife.Fish brain indeed.

Oya, sorry, my Queen. You know I wouldn't call women fish brains. I only quoted some men.

Lionessza:



Lol, almost all Nigerian guys on nairaland have dated or slept with foreign women , even the ones that have never left their villages . And I won't even suprised if your post is followed by; "I noticed that the men of the bolded nationalities were jealous of us and are very lazy " .it's like a script every Nigerian guy is given at birth. Always amusing to read lol.

Not that I'm saying you are one of them though .

Lmaooooo
If u have ever seen any of my posts,u will know I ain't a faker... I'm Alien..always have...always real n raw n myself....besides I dated these girls in Nigeria....not outside d country...so I don't know jack about how their countrymen feel about naija guys!!!

N don't use NL posts to gauge all naija guys....NL is just SM n on SM... EVERYBODY IS A KING ONLINE!!!

Hahahahahha.....lol Damn too funny! I will SNATCH YOU. Check the mail I earlier sent you. I will follow with an IV to 9ja.lol

XhosaNostra:


LOL!

By then I probably will be with Chinedu, the internet cafe guy

XhosaNostra:


No, don't get it twisted, it's not about being a "wife material" because that's not my aim or what I'm about.

I believe that every single one of us has an idea or mental image of the kind of man/woman we like. The qualities that attracts us to the opposite sex. I like very manly men & my own personalised version of an ideal mate, is not someone that pounds yam. No, someone like that can NEVER be with me! I Xhosanostra, would NEVER sit down & watch my man do all the housework while I sit there looking like a useless lump of flesh. That is NOT me. I would NEVER feel proud of myself, watching someone else do things around me while I sit there twiddling my thumbs. That's not how I was brought up. I was taught to contribute & earn my keep. Elbow grease & independence was the order of the day at my house, hence I'm not comfortable watching other people do things I'm also capable of doing. I actually don't mind housework, but it must not be expected of me or forced on me. It's one of those things that helps me to get rid of excess energy & relax. It's therapeutic for me. I don't do it to impress anyone. I'm doing it because it benefits me mentally & also because I like living in a clean, orderly space. Finish.

So you have a problem with your man doing all the chores as opposed to him being hands on or helping?

Opentokwowledge:
Nope, women don't ALWAYS do the pounding in those days. Sometimes, the women do the cooking while the men go on with pounding. When I was still very young, I usually go visiting my grandpa on his farm during holidays and I will open a window to what it was like then. It was a large farm situated in the outskirts of the main town where the real houses were. Different families have their farmlands apportioned out and the number of workers working could be as many as possible depending on the financial capacity of the farmer to hire labourers or his readiness to cooperate with other farmers so they can help each other out on the farm, Ours was the former system but my grandparents were not the type that will sit back and watch while the labourers do their job, so we usually joined in on the farm work, set traps for bush meat and in the evenings, bring back yam and the bush meat to the farmstead. We the boys would roast the meat, the men do the pounding while the clearly fagged out women do the cooking. On other days that the women don't go with us to work the farm though, they're expected to have prepared the sumptuous pounded yam and egusi soup to match before we arrive at the stead. Division of Labor was the order of the day then, not slavery or any synonym of it in any form.

You are right. But pounding yams is/was not slavery na

Anyway, I wasn't referring to post colonial Nigeria. Though it was not explicitly stated, but it appeared that women pounded the yams (or pushed the tasks to their sons/daughters) all the time in Achebe's Things Fall Apart and Arrow of God.

Ultimately, I think who should pound has been reduced to a power of strength but we forget that pounding yams demands techniques as well. I wouldn't know who does more of the pounding except I collect data because we hardly eat pounded yams in my house. But for now, answers are bound to be largely personal, e. g., "in my house, men/women do the pounding..."

bukatyne:


So you have a problem with your man doing all the chores as opposed to him being hands on or helping?

Yes, because he doesn't do things as thoroughly as I do.

Nwsc.... National wife Serving corpse

TheUpsetGirl1:



so you're an avatar fan ... I like Korra, sad Nickelodeon cancelled the show and now it's continued in comic books ...Legend of korra; turf wars.. read it, it's interesting. only part one and two have been released though

Lol, no I'm not. I just find the picture badass. I've never even watched the movie

CAPSLOCKED:



OH, LORD!
HOW DOES CARRYING A BABY AND POUNDING STUFF MAKE HIM THE BEST MAN IN THE WORLD?
PERHAPS, HE'S A SPINELESS PLEB OF A MAN WITH NO PENNY, WHO MANAGES TO FEED OFF WHATEVER BUSINESS HIS WIFE IS DOING WITH THE LAPTOP.


MANY WOMEN PRAY FOR MORE THAN A MAN LIKE THIS.

MANY WOMEN PRAY FOR ABLE, HARDWORKING HUSBANDS. WITH GOOD JOBS AND LOTS OF MONEY.
IMPORTANT TO THEIR HOME AND ALSO IMPORTANT TO THE SOCIETY..

NOT A LOUSY MAN LIKE THIS ONE WHO ONLY KNOWS HOW TO POUND YAMS.

SHAME.

someone finally painted this

XhosaNostra:


LMAO.

I've actually said something similar a very long time ago here, after reading many threads about guys in the so called "no sex" relationships, the "shakara" they endure & the mugu ones being used for money etc. I said, that'll never happen with a South African guy & that is a fact. How some guys do things in Nigeria, is very different to how things are done in other areas. Then again, it comes down to conditioning & being used to certain things. Seems that's what they are used to, to throw money around to attract females. If you notice, that's also what the females expect from the men, from my observation. In other words, Nigerian men & Nigerian females are suitable for each other. They feed each other's impulses. A Nigerian man with a female from elsewhere, is at risk of being used, TBH. Because South African ladies for instance, they're used to a different type of man. South African men aren't the money throwing type. So by comparison, the Nigerian man will appear to be winning the race because of the money-superficial love. In the long run, however, I don't see a relationship between the two lasting imo, because no offence, Nigerian men don't seem to be man enough. There's just something there that seems OFF. I've never dated one in real life because I'm usually not attracted to how they come across in person.

Can you give specific examples?

can't y'all see that it is staged,..

y should you suffer before you can eat pounded yam when y can get an alternative

Pusyiter:
Hahahahahha.....lol Damn too funny! I will SNATCH YOU. Check the mail I earlier sent you. I will follow with an IV to 9ja.lol

LOL! Leave that alone bros Wetin we go do for that now?

We be paddies, let's not spoil that with other tins, yeah?

BluntTheApostle:


Pounding is a woman's work.

Women are stronger than men. It is a fact.

Really?

Clueless foreigner question: Why do they have to pound yam by hand? Isn't there a machine for that?