Ma his soul RIP. Heavens bless and protect the people left behind

Take heart bro. You are now a member of the fatherless club of Nigeria. May his soul rest in peace

amokeme:

So sorry for the loss.

Go through the pain and allow the pain go through you. Never try to suppress it, whenever you feel emotional? Please cry it out! Never allow all the "you are a man, be strong" get to you.
You are first human before you are a man.

I notice most consolers don't understand that kind of pain ( especially when you are very close to your father),some haven't been in your shoes before... so its easy to just say "it is well, he is in a better, be strong for your mum" everybody expects you to be strong for somebody, nobody really tells you to be strong for yourself. Which is sad.

Be careful not to loose yourself to this situation (depends on the circumstances that surrounded his death.) Because getting your real self won't be easy.

Now let me shock you, TIME is not going to heal the pain! No, it's not going to do that. You hear all the "time heals everything"? Is not applicable in this situation, so you can as well prepare your mind and don't think time will heal or take the pain away.

TIME is only going to change the way you react towards the pain, not heal it. You see they are totally different.

Lastly, and very importantly, please, surround yourself with good support system. Good friends, be happy, whatever it is you were doing before he died, be it a project, and exam, work or anything, get yourself busy with it. Don't let the grief stop you. Because your daddy is gone, abandoning anything you ought to do won't bring him back. Do them so you don't regret it later. Please and please take care of yourself, don't bottle any emotions you feel, everything is going to forever remind you of him, you can't escape that. So like I said earlier, go through the pain and allow the pain go through you.

May the holy spirit comfort you and your family.


Yeah... I'm talking from experience. It's been 4 years and it still seems like yesterday.

Tnx bro. You guys are wonderful. I feel the plenty love from Nairalanders. Much love to you all

Mutemenot:


Tnx bro. You guys are wonderful. I feel the plenty love from Nairalanders. Much love to you all

I'm a lady.
You are welcome

If I could overcome the death of my beloved mother Ezinne Christina Madubueze who happens to be the bread winner of the family after my dad was paralyzed with partial stroke,I beleive that everyone can overcome the pains of death no Mather who they lost Bro just be a man life goes on

amokeme:

I'm a lady.
You are welcome

Noted! My apologies

A full human soul lost is not a small thing. It is actually illogical looking for consolation when someone dies. Wrong in fact. Just mourn your dead dad sha. He deserves it. It is the mourning that is the consolation in the end. Reflect on his life, who he was. Mourn him. Cheers. I have buried mom and dad plus one more so I know what I am saying. Treat the living well so that your can mourn them better if they go first. Cheers.

Mutemenot:
Hi my colleagues!!
My Dad passed away, I tried to be a man but within me im dying in pains. I have had more time here reading threads and comments just to let the pains off my mind but I haven't found a lasting consolement. May I have a way forward from you guys ?

Do you have Jehovah's witnesses around you? They have a brochure that can help you. It's called when someone you love dies. It helps, read all the cited scriptures too. So sorry for your loss.

Mutemenot:
Hi my colleagues!!
My Dad passed away, I tried to be a man but within me im dying in pains. I have had more time here reading threads and comments just to let the pains off my mind but I haven't found a lasting consolement. May I have a way forward from you guys ?

Sorry for your lost
it will take time for the pains to go away
first have it in mind that your dad travelled outside the country
second find something that will make you happy, watch comedy movies, go out with friends for sight seeing
stay more on social media and interact with people...I don't mind chatting with you.
take heart.

Thanks, God bless you real good Amen

amokeme:

Crying won't bring him back... you need good support system. My mum was in your shoes, she could help, if you don't mind.

Prognose:


No, it won't cause more harm

See you are already troubled so much that you opened a thread about it.

Mourn dude. Go somewhere quiet and weep. Think about the good times and bad times with him and weep deep. Get it out of your system.

I almost developed health issues after the death of my dad. I refused to cry. Heck, I laughed and joked in public most times. But I was being consumed inside, like a black hole that just kept getting bigger. After a while I couldn't even sleep.

I finally suddenly and unexpectedly burst into tears one day. Went into a security man's post to weep (the guy must have been shocked ). It lasted about 20mins but it helped a lot. Wiped my tears and came out grinning again and all was well.

Seriously, take time out and do a private memorial, just you and him. You'll feel better.

WOW..had a similar experience..

Didnt cry after my dad passed..

Then out of the blues 9yrs later..i cried like av neva cried b4..Cried 4 almost an hour...

my eyes were blood red n my head was pounding!..

It was rily sth..

Mutemenot:
Hi my colleagues!!
My Dad passed away, I tried to be a man but within me im dying in pains. I have had more time here reading threads and comments just to let the pains off my mind but I haven't found a lasting consolement. May I have a way forward from you guys ?

I don’t know who you are, where you are, what your problems are or what you're going through but I promise you, it gets better.

Key thing to understand here is that everyone experiences grief and pain differently, now before you cringe at that overly used sentence, let me explain. Everyone experiences grief but it is up to us to decide how we react to that grief when it comes.

Person A and Person B could be facing a common problem. Lets say the both of them have lost their father ( passed away ). Person A reacts very negatively by cutting himself away from his social life. Person A refuses to accept this and continues to let this inevitable scenario ruin and affect his entire life. He acts irrationally and is easily irritated by the slightest of things. He decides to bottle his emotions by drowning in alcohol.

Then we have Person B. Person B understands that the death of a loved one is a terrifying moment that eventually everyone will go through. He let's his friends know not to disturb him for a couple days because he needs time to sort out his feelings and accept the reality. Person B then talks about his feelings to another close member / close friend about it. Person B was depressed, but quickly understood that this was part of life and that eventually he will move on, no matter how hard it hits him.

Fast forward a couple months, Person B has moved on from this rough experience , and in this experience has even learned things he otherwise wouldn't know about (the importance of being grateful for what we have, seeing which friends were really there to aid us, etc. )

Person A on the other hand is now an alcoholic , his friends have left him due to his irritable and quick temper. He got fired from his job due to how inefficient he was and is now broke from all the alcohol and cigarettes he buys to cope with all the added misery.

Now of course, this is a bit of an exaggeration, but I hope you see how important your reaction to an event is.
Both Person A and Person B faced similar problems but one decided to not react negatively on it while the other unfortunately did so.

Be like Person B.

Mutemenot:
Hi my colleagues!!
My Dad passed away, I tried to be a man but within me im dying in pains. I have had more time here reading threads and comments just to let the pains off my mind but I haven't found a lasting consolement. May I have a way forward from you guys ?

Bro. I don't know how I landed on this thread .but I sincerely hope and pray you've found solace in God. it's well with you and yours.