MrBrownJay1:


fear of losing her children is more important to her than the fear of losing her husband?!?!?! this woman has misplaced priorities.

Ok oga. You have won the argument.
This part took me out. You win.

Chaclaitmilk:


People change. The monogamous man of today could be polygamous tomorrow.

No they don't... people don't change they just show you their true colours and that's why getting to know someone before marrying them is important.

I still think there are trust issues here and lack of communication. Hence you going over his head and creating this thread. It's not a good look.

Chaclaitmilk:


She said she can be forcibly thrown out and her children taken from her if she is not protected by the law. She isn't doing it for money.

now I understand, it's an igbo setting Abeg let her do it cos this same thing u are afraid of happened to my cousin few years back. her husband died n d family threw d widow n children out without considering there welfare or means of survival. at first they told her they will do spiritual cleansing that she has to leave the house for 3 months, she agreed. to everyone greatest surprise few weeks after she left d house d husband's family don take over sharp sharp. she was thrown out n she was not given anything

Chaclaitmilk:


Divorce or accept his wishes only?
No other option?

What about persuasion and discussion?
Nigerian in laws have a way of intruding into other family members marriages and they can persuade the man to chase her out and seize her children.
I don't get why many Nairaland men have a strong anti women mentality.
And by the way it truly isn't about money. Not to brag but our dad worked in SPDC for over 30years and amassed millions of naira and cats and properties for his children. We can all sit down comfortably for the rest of our lives without working, we have enough. And my parents sponsored their wedding because he was still a struggling up coming young man. I can assure you she does not want his money.
He doesn't have a quarter of what she has.

So your father is or was a THIEF! I Smell corruption. ..AWON OLE!

The woman is actually the dangerous person here. Can't be trusted cos she surely have an interior motive

MrBrownJay1:


fear of losing her children is more important to her than the fear of losing her husband?!?!?! this woman has misplaced priorities.
but hey, pls do enlighten us by telling us HOW a woman (supposedly richer than her husband) can lose her damn children?!

Your sister is actually after the papers so that she can dirvorce the man and have total access to the children. Your sister's mindset alone says alot about her person.

Chaclaitmilk:


@bold, phew, are you for real? That would be such a relief for her if I tell her. Fear of losing her children is the only reason she is pushing for court marriage.

Chaclaitmilk

Op, you're a charlatan and you're also one of the reasons why this marriage will crash.

Seeing that your father is richer than Dangote and Abacha family combined why did your sister bother getting married in the first place.

Since when did church marriages cease being legal in Nigeria? You have come to a public forum to denigrate and insult your inlaw. Do you think we will all raise our hands in applause and commend you for not minding your business?

Your sister is another unwholesome human being - why is she afraid of her kids being taken away from her? Does she perhaps have her own issues?

All this family members that don't respect themselves sha.

Chaclaitmilk:


@bold, phew, are you for real? That would be such a relief for her if I tell her. Fear of losing her children is the only reason she is pushing for court marriage.

How I wish I find myself in this kind of situation. I will boldly tell her to forget about the court marriage or get the hell out of my life. Nobody can pressure me into doing their bid especially when I'm sure I have no ill intention. She's probably looking for a ticked to be disrespectful to her hubby knowing fully well that the court marriage is designed to favour the woman.

Igbos say the palm fruit doesn't bear fruit for someone who knows how to make oil. How I wish I'm the man. Nonsense

Chaclaitmilk:
Her husband is vehemently against having a court marriage with her, They did church marriage and reception but no court,

He keeps refusing and saying he doesn't see the need because he isn't travelling abroad soon and so does not see the importance.

Please what is the usefulness of court marriage for her as a wife and him as the husband? I want to know how to advise her in convincing the husband.

You were sent here to tease out information that will be used to manipulate a fellow man. Don't worry, my only prayer is that your marriage will be a living hell.

Well he should get a prenuptial, a water tight one, she should sign then let's go ahead with the court marriage..

Smh ...

Contact each others lawyers, simple let's officially make this contract a "contract".

Chaclaitmilk:


Na wa oo

Oga marriage is all about unity and love. there should be compromise in marriage. If she tries to persuade him it's not bad. They are partners, not master and slave.
See you talking of death for this kain thing, it's not that serious biko.
The man isn't a demon, he is very easy going he just needs to convinced in a logical way.

So because he is an easy going person you have enough reason to arm-twist him into doing what he doesn't want to do.

The more I read your stupid defenses, the angrier I get.

Don't let the spirits dance surugede on your head.

Her husband is a wise man now

Chaclaitmilk:


@bold, phew, are you for real? That would be such a relief for her if I tell her. Fear of losing her children is the only reason she is pushing for court marriage.

Bro just tell ur sister to convince him to change his next of kin to her or her children instead of this court marriage that might cause a crack by him thinking she has some other ulterior motive.

His will also should be changed to her if he or the kids if they have one.
The above two are also effective way to secure the future for her and her kids
I will never engage in court wedding but I will immediately change my next of kin after my marriage unknowingly to my wife.
I will arrange my "WILL" also with my lawyer without informing my wife too.
So imagine if I marry someone like ur sister, won't she be fighting in vain to force me into court marriage?

Chaclaitmilk:
Her husband is vehemently against having a court marriage with her, They did church marriage and reception but no court,

He keeps refusing and saying he doesn't see the need because he isn't travelling abroad soon and so does not see the importance.

Please what is the usefulness of court marriage for her as a wife and him as the husband? I want to know how to advise her in convincing the husband.

but i dont think there is need for any court wedding once they can do the church wedding . not all churches are empower under the law to conduct marriages but those who have that authority and issue a marriage certificate , such certificates are equally legally binding just as the court marriage certificate . court wedding or marriages is usually done when the couple dont have much time due to one reason or the other and secondly to cut cost

Nawa for Nigerians
Someone will jejely ask for advice,they'll make him talk the one they'll use to curse him
Village people are on Nairaland
They follow you everywhere you go

Chaclaitmilk:
Her husband is vehemently against having a court marriage with her, They did church marriage and reception but no court,

He keeps refusing and saying he doesn't see the need because he isn't travelling abroad soon and so does not see the importance.

Please what is the usefulness of court marriage for her as a wife and him as the husband? I want to know how to advise her in convincing the husband.

your wedding needs to be validate by the law of the land ( which is the FG)

madam your sister's husband has skeleton in his cupboard


She needs to validate her wedding in line with FG guidelines or else if anything happens to the husband, heaven forbids, she will lose everything you both worked for that is in his name to his husband family.

if both of you must own property he must put it in your name or both of you must be signatory to it

Chaclaitmilk:


Ok oga. You have won the argument.
This part took me out. You win.

Op there are Churches that their marriage process is both Court and Church like City Of David if she can't make them join somehow,tell her to calm down and sweet talk him into doing it,one will have to be real calm for the other to hear,to stop a wild fire from spreading further go and brush the bushes farther into the edges,patience,wisdom in talking can make him succumb to her wish just like Esther

What else does she want again. We Africans and our yeye mentality; a woman saying she wants court wedding for the fear of been thrown out. So she's expecting to be thrown out soon abi wetin....unnecessary drama
Where they suppose to be using love, they'll now be using law.

KOPT33:


You were sent here to tease out information that will be used to manipulate a fellow man. Don't worry, my only prayer is that your marriage will be a living hell.

Calm down dear. Not all churches conduct marriages that are recognised by law. Not every woman means harm too, with all the things we read...I won't blame any woman that pushes for registry marriage. I don't even think it's that profitable financially, I have never seen or read of any woman that cashed out of it in Nigeria.

Most do it to avoid polygamy and to protect their kids, in event of death or separation.

am in support of the husband, d guy know weting him eye don suffer for this life, after acquiring all the property after like 4 yrs of court marriage, the wife go start to dey misbehave anyhow, them go go court judge go tell them make them divorce aand share the guy property when we no dey for usa or France.My guy I dey with you jare

He's a smart man.

Men have no rights in court issued marriages. It's all about the woman.

Guys, ever wondered what documents are signed in courts during marriage? Ever wondered how it affects you?

Why are the details of that document hidden from the public?

The answer is, that document is misandric. It protects ONLY THE WOMAN. No smart man will marry in court.

A man's refusal to marry in court must not be linked to his desire to be polygamous. It can be simply due to his desire to protect himself, which is supposed to be common sense after all! Infact, since your sister is richer than him, a court marriage will be the best bet if he wants to take your sister's money or inheritance. The man doesn't care about your sister's or family's money. He is his own man and he does what he does.

@Chaclaitmilk hope this answers your question.

people don't really change, they only bcome a better versions of themselves...QED

OP, since ur papa get money that can go 10 generations, do. U ve another sister I can marry Nd I ensure u that there would be a court wedding...

It's really disheartening to read all these drama cuz of marriage.
I mean these guys just wedded n already d marriage pillars are shaking D wife is well-to-do but had trust issues n d husband has ego issues.....my question is...why waste money at all for church wedding n reception?? So much insecurities flying upandan in a marriage so young!!! It's never by force to marry biko!!!

Dear sister, are u married?

Chaclaitmilk:
Her husband is vehemently against having a court marriage with her, They did church marriage and reception but no court,

He keeps refusing and saying he doesn't see the need because he isn't travelling abroad soon and so does not see the importance.

Please what is the usefulness of court marriage for her as a wife and him as the husband? I want to know how to advise her in convincing the husband.

Court/registry marriage simply put is the legal stamp that joins them together legally......

Church marriage is simply for your church members, friends, enemies etc etc etc and your God........

Wonderful! The both you and your sister seem to be business partners. Your intentions are already known.

My advice is this, Court marriage doesn't make a man love his wife more, it even makes the man keep loads of secrets.

Chaclaitmilk:


I should concentrate on better things? My sisters welfare no be better thing?

How is court marriage a welfare issue?

Chaclaitmilk:


Na wa oo

Oga marriage is all about unity and love. there should be compromise in marriage. If she tries to persuade him it's not bad. They are partners, not master and slave.
See you talking of death for this kain thing, it's not that serious biko.
The man isn't a demon, he is very easy going he just needs to convinced in a logical way.

So why re you here

The man don't want court period! Let your sister remain a spinster na.
BTW how old is she now?