By their parents, I am referring to either his or her parents.

I happen to be in a relationship for almost two years that both parents are aware of. Both her parents and my parents. We should make it official this year but I am worried.

My partner is a very good woman but she has anger issues.

One minute, we'll be playing. In another minute, she'll be angry or moody. And nothing you'll say will enter her ears.

Call her, she won't answer you. Touch her, it's a crime. Apologize, she won't listen until she is satisfied with herself.

I've apologized for strange things.

Apologized for looking at her. Apologized for not looking at her. Apologized for smiling too much. Apologized for not smiling well. Apologized for talking and not talking. Apologized for teaching her. Apologized for not teaching her.

I've apologized for all the things I did and didn't do.

She'll just over analyze things and come up with her own version of whatever I do just to justify her anger. And I'll begin to ask her when I said or did those things.

Four months ago, I had to explain these things to her mum and my mum after another incidence if not knowing what I did wrong.

She was okay that I told her mum. Her mum seems to understand her more. Then, I had to tell my mum when her mum wasn't picking up in time. So, I told her what I did.

She got angry that I was painting her bad to her mum and my mum. That they'll think she is a bad person. That I shouldn't poison their hearts.

She even went on to say that a real man shouldn't share what he is going through in a relationship with outsiders. I had to explain to her that who shoud I have spoken to if not her parents and my parents?

I only mentioned what is happening in our relationship to them after 14 months of not telling anyone.

I've endured a lot of emotional and psychological abuse in the relationship and I was on the verge of breaking down before opening up to our parents.

Now, she's blaming me for speaking out. I don't want to reveal too much about my life and relationship here. I just want to know if a man is suppose to talk to the parents or any other person about what he is going through in his relationship.

If yes, when is the right time to open up to a third party?

Your answers can save a life.

were are the elders...

It is ok to tell her mum or dad but its very inappropriate to tell your mum..

Reason: After the whole misunderstanding , even when both of you must have forgotten about it, your mum wont forget. she ll continue to see her as in that color which you painted her when you reported her.

Reporting to her parents on the other hand is very proper because they understand her just the way you do..or even more than you do sef..they ll always help talk to her and when its settled and you let it go, they let it go as well..This doesnt mean they wont keep talking to her on how to manage her home and anger..

Your babe is very wise. I give it to her

No one is perfect
You already concluded that she's a good woman apart from the anger issues
isn't that kinda anger normal...All she needs from you is your 100% attention

You don't need a third party
Stop inviting trouble into your beautiful relationship
Third party is a no no for me

@OP, All these plenty things for only you?
Just keep closing your eyes to all those red flags, shebi your own love is blind ba?
You better address these issues very well with her now before you tie the knot.
Also analyze your behaviour very well 'cos your story is one-sided.
I cannot come and be reading stories that touch after the wedding o.

if she's. a lady dat respect/ fear her. parents, she won't. allow to to report. her.Hope. she's. not Mushin /Ajegunle bred.Think urs is just a playful. type,she'll change but if not,kick her out b4 una turn una house to Mecca where Pa jamiu,iya chisom and Papa Emma will com and separate fight.And 2ndly,avoid face me i face u compound. *singing Ebenezer Obey tune"Baba ibadan debe kan ilekun,oni bro Joshua. se ka wole,e seun e pada.ija ma ti tan oo........."

midolian:
It is ok to tell her mum or dad but its very inappropriate to tell your mum..

Reason: After the whole misunderstanding , even when both of you must have forgotten about it, your mum wont forget. she ll continue to see her as in that color which you painted her when you reported her.

Reporting to her parents on the other hand is very proper because they understand her just the way you do..or even more than you do sef..they ll always help talk to her and when its settled and you let it go, they let it go as well..This doesnt mean they wont keep talking to her on how to manage her home and anger..

Your babe is very wise. I give it to her

What if her parents weren't around at that very moment you needed to talk to them and it's only yours that were around.

Have you ever been in a situation where you just need someone close to talk to immediately?

That's the situation I found myself

Mcy56:
@OP, All these plenty things for only you?
Just keep closing your eyes to all those red flags, shebi your own love is blind ba?
You better address these issues very well with her now before you tie the knot.
Also analyze your behaviour very well 'cos your story is one-sided.
I cannot come and be reading stories that touch after the wedding o.

It might look one sided but I've asked her severally what I didn't wrong but she won't talk to me.

All she keep saying is that people keep seeing her as the bad person.

How do you want to reconcile that?

While trying not to be sarcastic .

"She gets angry over you not looking at her or smiling toomuch"

Marrying such woman will be a burden when you marry.

You will never get to know what to do to make her happy which obviously means you can't find joy around Someone who is always making you sad half of the day.

she ll soon start to get angry at you for horning when driving too much,telling you the sound is disturbing her.

U must eat all when she serves u or else u nogo sleep.
Seems the bossy type.Don't let her control you !

She is already controlling you.

She will get angry on trivial things.
Talk to her on this and give her time to observe her again.


Bro
Always know that anything that makes you more sad often than being happy needs to be pushed out of your life.

I pray to God not to give me ur kinda woman.
I can't handle it

MhizAJ:
No one is perfect
You already concluded that she's a good woman apart from the anger issues
isn't that kinda anger normal...All she needs from you is your 100% attention

You don't need a third party
Stop inviting trouble into your beautiful relationship
Third party is a no no for me

Her anger issues is strange to me. I also believe that third party shouldn't be involved in relationships.

But what happens when she keeps telling me that I should go look another woman whenever she's angry?

What should I do if she starts receiving calls from men when she is angry...telling them sweet things on phone. Disrespecting in the process?

What would you expect me to do?

Jawshua:


What if her parents weren't around at that very moment you needed to talk to them and it's only yours that were around.

Have you ever been in a situation where you just need someone close to talk to immediately?

That's the situation I found myself

Bro, its obvious you know her worth. The only problem you have with her is her inability to control her anger, which to me is to be blamed on you.

I chose not to blame you for being too soft in my first comment because it might not go down well with you..but the truth is, you are.

You complain as if you are the wife and not the husband. A real man should know when to be hard and when to be soft with his woman...

Being hard here doesnt mean you should beat her. it means you dont have to apologize over silly things as you have stated up there. In fact, make her apologize over the things she didnt do on few occasions.

WeedSeller:
While trying not to be sarcastic .

"She gets angry over you not looking at her or smiling toomuch"

Marrying such woman will be a burden when you marry.

You will never get to know what to do to make her happy which obviously means you can't find joy around Someone who is always making you sad half of the day.

she ll soon start to get angry at you for horning when driving too much,telling you the sound is disturbing her.

U must eat all when she serves u or else u nogo sleep.
Seems the bossy type.Don't let her control you !

She is already controlling you.

She will get angry on trivial things.
Talk to her on this and give her time to observe her again.


Bro
Always know that anything that makes you more sad often than being happy needs to be pushed out of your life.

She has done some of these things in the past. I had to tell her to stop them.

She just has a way of coming up with new set of issues to get angry at every time.

That's why I am concerned.

Jawshua:

It might look one sided but I've asked her severally what I didn't wrong but she won't talk to me.
All she keep saying is that people keep seeing her as the bad person.
How do you want to reconcile that?

I believed you are still dating right?
That's one of the reasons for courtship, to watch out for compatibility.
You are already having too much troubles from the onset, this is not healthy for a life long relationship.
Open your eyes bro, analyze what you want for yourself in a marriage to make you happy and fulfilled.
Dont pretend to be okay with everything, dont assume somebody's character will change after marriage. Maybe she's not even into you self and she's still buying time.
I dont see anything wrong in inviting 3rd party when every other efforts you made failed.
In all, be patient, be wise and seek for God's intervention on way forward.
It is well.

midolian:
Bro, its obvious you know her value. The only problem you have with her is her inability to control her anger, which to me isnt much of a problem.

I didnt want to blame you for being too soft because it mean something else to you..but the truth is, you are.

You complain as if you are the wife and not the husband. A real man should know when to be hard and when to be soft with his woman...

Being hard here doesnt mean you should beat her. it means you dont have to apologize over silly things as you have stated up there. In fact, make her apologize over the things she didnt do on few occasions.

Bro, I seriously get your point. I've tried everything but it didn't work.

She is too sensitive and will lock up for virtually anything.

She is a type of woman that will swear to your face that she will never apologize to you if she doesn't want to.

She'd rather leaving your house late in the night if you refuse to talk to her.

And if you ask her why she's like that. She'll make it known to you that no relationship is perfect. That afterall, she once used to apologize to you. That this is the new her.

That's the type of woman she is.

[color=#006600][/color] @op, Before You Throw This Questio,ynu Have The Answer To Your Self. Now Listen To Me If You Know You Cant Adapt Or Try To Coop With Her Behaviour Of Which Its Not Easy For Her To Change Then Talk To Urself. Forget Love Because No Let Me Manage Her In Relationship(2) Its Not Advisable To Even Inform Her Mum Especially Ur Mum. Did She Know That Character Is Not? If She Did Not Realise That Then, There Is Red Light On That Kind Of Relationship

Jawshua:


Bro, I seriously get your point. I've tried everything but it didn't work.

She is too sensitive and will lock up for virtually anything.

She is a type of woman that will swear to your face that she will never apologize to you if she doesn't want to.

She'd rather leave your house late in the night if you refuse to talk to her.

And if you ask her why she's like that. She'll make it known to you that no relationship is perfect. That afterall, she once used to apologize to you. That this is the new her.

That's the type of woman she is.

Let her leave your house in the middle of the night..let it happen..just once or twice..And if she leaves, you shouldnt make the mistake of apologising to her..when she comes back to her senses, she ll find a peaceful way back to you.

If she doesnt, find another woman to lavish your attention on. This will definitely do the magic if she truly loves you

midolian:
Let her leave your house in the middle of the night..let it happen..just once or twice..And if she leaves, you shouldnt make the mistake of apologising to her..when she comes back to her senses, she ll find a peaceful way back to you.

If she doesnt, find another woman to lavish your attention on. This will definitely do the magic if she truly loves you

You've a valid point but I can't let her risk her life again. She once did. She came to my place very late in the night and she encountered all these dubious alfas that gave her some fake visions in the night.

I don't want that to happen again. She can leave in the morning when there's no danger. But in the night? No.

Something that gets me worried is that anytime she is angry, that's when she will suddenly remember that I am owing her some money and she wants them back at that point in time.

She has done this twice now.

This is someone that I must not begin to mention the money and time I've spent on her.

Why is she like that? If she were to be in my shoes and I do some of these things to her, what will she say?

What will people call me?

People see us as a perfect couple but these are some of the things I go through almost every day.

I've spoken to her several times. She'll promise to change then pull off a worst stunt than before. That's the scary part.

It's like she is getting bolder and bolder. But outside, people see as a saint and a perfect woman without troubles.

She is sincerely and seriously troubling my life with her actions and words.

The annoying part of it all is that I can't even do any productive things when we have issues. I'll have to spend hours upon hours trying to talk her out of her actions while explaining that people don't behave like this in relationships.

I am seriously fed up. We're supposed get get married this year but I am scared for the future.

I don't even know what she's capable of doing.

Being too soft with a woman from the onset causes SOME of these mayhem.
The last human on earth to associate with is the type dat have uncontrollable temper. From ur replies, OP, making this relationship official is dangerous, i.e from my point of view. Someone who is nt willing to change and take rash decisions wen angry will be hard to tackle in marriage. The ball is in ur court, read between the lines.

When they say chose yuh partner wisely not d length n tightness of d T0to,how come u didn't observe all dix before now, or did u think dt she would drop em once u ring her finger, face yuh life man, asking marital questions here, would only complicate tinx further....

Jawshua:



Thank you. It's like you know what I am going through.

I can't begin to mention the unbelievable decisions she has taken in the past when angry which I had to talk her out of.

It got to a point that I had to ask her to tell me how her mind works. It seems like something I can't comprehend.

And to top it off, she claims that she don't remember those things she said or did when angry if I try to remind her later. She even went as far as callimg me a liar to my face.

This always make me wish that I have CCTV in my house then. Maybe if she watch herself on TV, she can just believe me for once.

The major reason marriage is far below on my priority list for now. I wouldn't want to hamper my overly tall ambitions with any lady.
Bro. This is a tough decision to make. U wouldn't want a wife u can't have a little control over 2moro. A lady dat always seek apology 4rm u.

Jawshua:



Thank you. It's like you know what I am going through.

I can't begin to mention the unbelievable decisions she has taken in the past when angry which I had to talk her out of.

It got to a point that I had to ask her to tell me how her mind works. It seems like something I can't comprehend.

And to top it off, she claims that she don't remember those things she said or did when angry if I try to remind her later. She even went as far as callimg me a liar to my face.

This always make me wish that I have CCTV in my house then. Maybe if she watch herself on TV, she can just believe me for once.

It must have troubled u alot to post it here. A great future with her is in a distant land. And marryn her will be like sailing a canoe on a rough, stormy and raging Atlantic, u knw what can happen.

Jawshua:


I seriously understand you. As it stands, I've a lot of productive things to do tjat can fetch me money. But, her stress can't just allow me to think straight until we resolve the issue.

If I allow myself to forget about her just for an hour, then she is out of my mind forever.

And I don't want that to happen but I am not ruling out the possibility because I am fed up with her anger issues and attitude when she is angry.

U love this aunty. Take ur time, weigh ur options b4 deciding. Just knw dat continuing with her is dangerous except she changes.

Hmmm.....

People are in their BEST behavior when they are dating. If the above is your fiancee's best behavior, I wonder what will be after tying the knot.

U are not yet married but you have started calling your parents upandan. When you marry nko

Marry someone that understands you even without saying a word.

All the red flags are right before your eyes, if you like ignore it... Don't say you weren't told! If you don't value your PEACE, kindly go ahead with the wedding.

I know people will come hear and start advising you on how you can change her and what you need to do to change her....listen to them at your own peril.

A word is enough for the wise!!!

Jawshua:


It is really troubling me. Hmmmm. You have spoken well. Thank you.

Welcome bro.

Jawshua:


I sincerely love her and she knows this. Sje claims to love me too. There are over a thousand and one things I can do to forget her in an instant but she seems not to care that her anger issues is a big deal.

I just want her to make conscious efforts to work on herself but she seems not to care anymore.

The truth is that as much as I try to understand this part of her, she becomes so irrational and impossible to reason with when she is at her anger mode.

Ask her why she is moody or angry after the whole thing, she'll have nothing tenable to say. Something that we can tell an outsider and they will ever believe us. Sometimes, she might have forgotten why she is angry. All she will tell you is that she can't remember. It is really frustrating.

My broda, such women are dangerous. I assume she cares less abt what and how u feel. I can't decide 4 u no matter what.

Get your balls back.

Tell her if she can't manage her emotions and insecurities, you'll kick her out, as in call off the relationship.

Don't let her issues rub you off your sanity. Keep love aside for now and make use of your head.

Stick your ground and mean it.

If she shows signs of improvement, help her.
If she doesn't, let her go.