guy de girl done nak u jazz, ur ancestors don run leave you and as foolish u are u might not convaill u plans to an elderly man so now u are being married by the girl as a house husband so bare it and continue with the house work

sirlop:

“Pays”

typo

Gold digger

Is it possible for a First class graduate to be looking for Job for long? Not possible!

I'll advise you start applying and look for a job. You shouldn't have resigned, that was a big mistake on your side.

Bros stop collecting anything from the papa and look for your own life before these people turn you to a weakling and make you look like woman wrapa

LarryBeryl:
Man up!!!!

MAN up when he is not paying the bills? You are wicked oh. He needs a job first.

marvelli:
Its too late. You let your babe take care of you, then your father-in-law. Until you can pay back everything they've spent on you and prove that you can take care of your family in the way they're used to, just stop struggling for respect. Your dignity is already in the gutter

That's the bitter truth.

winningwinner:


Thanks a lot, but how much money will I be able to make now that will bring back the usual love my wife had for me? Will I be able to satisfy her in anything again? I actually need to dislodge her father and start marrying her as my wife or else I take a far journey away from home.

What do you mean by taking a far journey away from home? Stop sounding like a sissy! You created this mess, so stay and clean it up...not thinking about absconding!

The truth is if u get urself a job, u will definitely gain ur respect back

winningwinner:
Hmmmm! Most of the replies I get for expressing myself on this platform have left me confused. Thanks to the few people that truly understand my plight to offer advice. The mistake has been made and no one is above mistake. I take all the blame, but I'm sincerely tired of the whole thing. I want to quit. Finding a well paying job now is not very easy. I need divine intervention.

You want to quit from what? Your marriage?

@Zicoraads. You picking anything from this thread?

I feel there is more into this situation. I would ask if your wife is the only child? If yes that's the first part of the problem, her parents wants a man that will be there for her and that will succumb to her, cos if not,she should have a job with the way you speak of her father.. also why is it that her father can't get you a good job ? And why is it that her father doesn't pay into your account but her's? Think deeply about these things, they want you to be just a Husband figure.
All well and good, all I will advice you if it's a good one is that 1. Keep hunting for a job(good pay or average pay), but do this extremely silent without anyone knowing
2. Try as much as possible to get cash out of her hand majorly for you to save as a back up
3. Connect with your friends and brainstorm on a way out, you don't have to talk with all your mouth too
4. Hold strong on your FAITH/BELIEVE so as to conquer faster
5. Do not in anyway fight your wife and her parents at least till you get an headway/break through
If you want to catch a monkey, you have to behave like a monkey
I wish you the best out of this

guy, u cause all this to urself l, how could ur girlfriend ask u to quite ur job and u did just becos her father has money, u should not have allow her father to pay for ur rent, i could remember when i was jobless and my mother -inlaw ask me to move to any of ther building, instantly i quickly reject the offer, she only help her daughther so that she can care for house need, y i was seriousely searching for another job till i got one, but in ur own case, i think u cause it all。My advice is to act fast to get another job for urself not advicable to quite from ur family pls

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.

There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.

I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.

As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.

The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.

Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.

My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.

At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.

I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart".

My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.

A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.

He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.

I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.

My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!

MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

Yo shouldn't have left your Job for any reason... There's dignity in labour... Buh the deed ve been done.
Coming to your father in-law.... He's probably seeing that ure too small to handle a home and certain issues hence he's meddling... Because he's seeing you both as his kids

Another thing is don't always feel your decision is right, ur father in-law have been there before and since he's having a happy home as I pressume he can mentor you. Please drop your ego as d head of the house and you and your wife can work as one..... Sit your wife down and tell her why u don't want her to discuss your family discussions with her family.

Another thing is... Stop looking for job... Get a loan from your father in-law and set up a business

My one piece

Am this is some nollywood shit!!! If dis is real u deserve 50 lashes by sharia court. How can u let a woman abi inlaws feed u?? Receipt for disaster. The wife u paid for will insult u talkless of the one that paid for u........

It is a taboo, an abomination for a man to marry without a job or business or handwork!

....and I am wondering which foolish rich man allowed his own beloved daughter to marry a man without a job That man must be a money miss road!

If he is that rich, let him establish his daughter a big flourishing business, build her a house not rent.....if he has swore not to empower his daughter's husband

lazy young pappi

First of all, for you to correct anything go and get a source of income job, business just ensure something is come in for you too. Thereafter you must be ready to fight a battle with your wife and her father. Stop whatever you collecting from the father and do not care with whatever your wife might have in her bank then tell her what you like and what you don't like if she does not listen threaten to stay away from the relationship. With this, she and her parents will learn sense.

However, if truly her father is rich then he should be able to set you up with a business instead of sending the money to your wife's account... My 10kobo advice

All in the name of money. You disrespected yourself and your village. Go find a job and take charge of your house

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.

There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.

I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.

As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.

The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.

Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.

My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.

At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.

I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart".

My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.

A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.

He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.

I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.

My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!

MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

You are a lazy and very irresponsible man.
How dare you complain!?
So because you made 1st class and your wife made you to resign your 120k job, we should blame your wife abi?
1st class indeed!
How can you say you can't find a job still after so many years? Can't you use your head and think of something?
Can't you ask for loan even from your "maga" father inlaw and start a business?

You deserve more than any so-called Disrespectful treatment you get from your wife and father inlaw.
YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO MANHOOD,

winningwinner:


I sincerely appreciate your contribution here, but I did what I did out of love and didn't think of the future implications.
I truly need to be properly advised. I'm thinking of leaving home to a far away place. More help please.

Aha! I said it! Na ur type dey so so dey read till dem wan kee themselves for sch. No interaction to get small experience or stuff like dat. As soon u see puna, ur brain format, as the tin catch ur body like Kai Kai.

isybeke:
The truth is if u get urself a job, u will definitely gain ur respect back

he doesn't need to wait until he gets a job because there are no jobs in Nigeria of today!

Let him find a way anyhow to startup a business or trade! If he is so determined, he will definitely find a way to start a business online or offline.

Op stop waiting for a job. Only lazy people rely on their academic certificate that almost everybody now has.

Being a university graduate today is equal to being a secondary school leaver, it has no more value in today Nigeria.

Your skill, your talent, what you can do with your hands and brain are the only things that can guarantee you financial success in Nigeria of 2018.

Ladies stop marrying any guy that's so cool and proud of being a graduate from so so and so university, gone are the days being a university graduate makes your future bright.

We are in the era of talent, skill and business smartness. Academic qualification is gradually phasing out and will soon expire completely.

So young men and women of Nigeria, brace up, go and learn a skill, acquire a special skill while in school; learn to work on the internet to earn money legally...start a business or trade while in school, don't wait till you graduate.

Learn computer programming, coding, web design and development, app development, graphic design, boting, and start early to practice it while in school.

Op messed up, and he has to live with the consequences until divine help comes his way

In a way I feel bad for you, yet I still can't grasp that someone would open his eyes and let soap enter.

winningwinner: She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money.Her father is rich.

Genesis of your problem is that you took your babe's insistence (by the way you know she only insisted because she was angry that the job stole your attention from her during the visit, not like she truly and honestly wanted you to resign) and resigned from a 120k job without having a backup in this recession. Your babe that was still a student then o... And you were comfortable receiving bank alerts from your non-working rich kid babe.

winningwinner: A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything.I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception

As if that wasn't enough show of laxity, still in your jobless state you carry phone de call person Papa say you wan marry. Marry with what? And feed with love? A man that has 50k hard earned money to his name is more eligible for marriage than a jobless you na.
Okay, the dad now said oya fast fast come and marry o, in fact don't worry let me sponsor the wedding. And you jumped at the idea. Really, how bad can it get?

winningwinner: He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.

Okay o. You are now married, happy married life. You sat down and said "Daddy thank you" when the man paid 3 years advance rent for you? Lol the story is as funny as it is sad! What were you thinking?
Now, even working couples use family planning when they feel their finances are not bouyant enough to cater for children. Yet you in your jobless state quickly became Daddy? Smh. What were you planning to use in training the child? Money from the Big Daddy abi? Lol this wan strong.

winningwinner: I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.

And then after selling your manhood on the altar of laziness and gold-digging (truth must be told), you now have the guts to "want to be in charge of your home". In what kind of charge? Oga better wake up and do it fast. I actually think it's an insult on the man's "kindness" to say he is 'interfering' in your affairs. So because this 'interference' is not putting money in your account you are complaining abi? All the while he has been 'interfering' in your affairs by marrying his daughter for you, paying your rent and feeding you and your entire family you didn't come here to cry foul o...

What did your family members say about it or they weren't aware? Cos the Nigerian in me won't even allow this to happen - it becomes easy to think say the Baba they use your success de service his own wealth while you continue to feed from his tap. But truly ehnnnnn, it is far from Jazz/Juju that is the problem with you o - it is simply laziness. Oga, goannn work.

I saw a post where you were asking if love is not enough blah blah blah and someone was telling you that "money is king" for your wife. That's an insult to the poor lady that has had to bear your laxity for years. Money is king to her yet she no see rich man to marry? I'd say she must love you very much to cope with this manner of laziness.
Broz there's only so much a person can do and people have their limits. It has nothing to do with her being female. It's only human that when you have tried and tried to help one person and it turns out that only you is doing and doing, one day you go taya. The babe is tired.

See, I've seen where some people have advised you to have a talk with her saying you feel emasculated and want to be in charge. Oga if you love that your marriage, no try am. Because the lady is obviously burnt out from doing everything (by extension through her dad), so anything wey make you talk in complaint, will just be the straw to break all hell loose on you. She would just spill out things she may not mean out of frustration. If you don't want to hear the one that would finally kill you, just jejely go and look for a job before you start any conversation of how you feel emasculated cos no be today your emasculation start.

And your job doesn't have to be bringing in the millions that your in-law has. You are not in competition with him. Get a job that pays something and start from there. And for the goodness of all that is good, let that job be hard-earned by you, not another gift from Baba. Please kwanu, dust that your 1st class degree and get a job. If Baba continues to pay all the bills, biko don't disturb the man as he also makes the decisions.

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.

There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.

I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.

As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.

The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.

Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.

My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.

At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.

I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart".

My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.

A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.

He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.

I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.

My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!

MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

Get urself a JOB.

BigBrother9ja:

You are a lazy and very irresponsible man.
How dare you complain!?
So because you made 1st class and your wife made you to resign your 120k job, we should blame your wife abi?
1st class indeed!
How can you say you can't find a job still after so many years? Can't you use your head and think of something?
Can't you ask for loan even from your "maga" father inlaw and start a business?

You deserve more than any so-called Disrespectful treatment you get from your wife and father inlaw.
YOU ARE A DISGRACE TO MANHOOD,

Seriously some guys are mumu! A lady made you resign a job of 120k in Nigeria when u don't have a side business and no special skill, no enough savings or backup plan.

Even if Bill Gates give me his daughter to marry, I can't quit whatever I am doing before I met her unless he is ready to wire at least $1million to my personal account as a backup.

Seriously some guys de fall hand. First class my foot! I am almost like a first class graduate myself, 3rd best graduating student, today I have dumped my so called certificate and using my God given talent and business acumen to survive. People think being a graduate automatically secures their future, he he....that was in 1982

"he who pays the piper calls the tune"

Man up, get a job and take charge. That's all you need.

Op is a confirmed Gold-digger!!

All gold diggers end up badly in life somehow, somehow!

Guys and ladies, don't be a gold digger!!

Believe in yourself alone!

Op took because he managed to get a girl from a rich family and lost his senses!

Small girl told you to resign, and just because of her father's little change, you listened to her and resigned!

Gold digging is bad for ladies, it is worst when a man is a gold digger!

For every sin, there is a wage to it!

Let the change you want begin with you




Get a job 1st. Make money and be able to take care for yourself and your child 1st

winningwinner:
My name is Dahe. I struggled to graduate from the university. I made first class. After that, I got a job that pays 120k per month. But there is this problem with the job. You work like the bull and hardly have time for yourself. I sometimes sleep in the office just to beat time. It's work all through from morning till night.

There is this girl that I fell in love with. She was 21 then while I was 25. She kept complaining that I always keep to myself at work without a bit of care for her. The complain and accusations kept on till I decided to listen to her. I only worked for two months and had just been paid for the second month.

I invited her over to my house in Abuja. She came, and that time she was on her final year. She came with so many books and by the look of things, she was prepared to stay longer.

As usual, workload took over every event. At midnight, my phone rang and it was my girl. I was afraid to explain anything but I told her I was coming home right away. I did. It was hell in my home. We managed to make love and slept.

The next morning, my MD called demanding my presence. My girl insisted that I call him back and ask for a break that day. I did not.

Rather, I begged her and went to work. I truly loved her and wanted to propose to her before she goes back to school. But to make her feel good and belonged, I called her on phone to break the news. I proposed to her.

My MD sent for me to ask that I work through the night again. I said no. He pleaded, but I refused. It was hard saying no, but I had no choice.

At home my girl had turned herself into a ready made wife and I regretted not proposing to her till now.
I did not go to work the next day due to the new development at home. You understand what I mean..
My MD called to vent his anger, but I was calm and my girl swore never return to me if I didn't resign from the work. I took her word and resigned.

I looked for another work to no avail. She kept servicing my bank account with lots of money. Her father is rich.
She called me and asked me to speak with her mom and after some weeks, the dad. They kept saying, "please take good care of our daughter, don't break her heart".

My girl gratuated with a 2.1 honours and I attended her graduation ceremony where I met her parents live. After some weeks, her father called me to ask me about my plans with her daughter, I did not hide anything, and he told me to act fast.

A month later, I called him to inform him of my plans to marry his daughter the coming Christmas, but only that money was the big issue. He told me to go on with my plans that he will take care of everything. I jumped at it and we wedded. He took care of everything starting from invitation card to reception.

He refurnished my house in Abuja and transferred three years rent sum to my landlord's account. He paid in advance. Our first child came, still I and my wife are jobless. My In-law takes care of us.

I wanted to be in charge of my home but the man kept interfering, making the daughter to take a contrary decision on crucial matters.

My wife no longer takes my advice, what do I do? I need your candid advice on this matter. Please help me!

MY QUESTION: Will you as a father leave your home to meddle on your daughter's own home? Why won't you allow her to build her home with her husband?

He pays all ur bills and u still get mouth to talk trash, man up and get ur ass to work first B4 calling urself a man.

U r a lazy youth dt sits down n expects freebies from d in law what a shame.

U lack common sense, if u can't provide for ur home even God will be angry with you.

The question is : will I as a father pay rent for one jobless son in law?

My answer is NO.

I dnt even take accommodation that I won’t be able to pay if I lose my job.

That is my first principle back then.

I am sorry he pays the bill. He has to control ur home till you become a man.

My dear, he who pays the piper dictates the tunes. You sold your birthright the day you listened to your girlfriend by resigning from work without an alternative. You further sold yourself into captivity by playing into the hands of her rich parents by both agreeing to marry her without job and also allowing them to be footing all your bills. The only option I believe you have now is to be playing along for now and serve the punishment for your foolishness without any hassles while most importantly fervently and earnestly praying to God to have mercy and deliver you from this bondage. You will be surprised how God will do it. He can miraculously link you with a helper that will help secure a fantastic job that will make you stand on your feet again and no longer rely again on any rich father in law.

You made mention that you are a first class graduate, you can always find something to do no matter how small the pay is. Also try not to measurse up with your wife or your father inlaw because i perceive your father inlaw getting a job for your wife soon, by that means converting you to a perpetual errand boy in your own home. Just get busy and never react to any situation in order to prove that you are the man of the house, because you have to gradually recover that status in your 'said home' because you are not the one paying the bills. And also be prayerful now, also try to associate with people with great and objective minds, i don't mean you should start doing negative things such as drinking, smoking, womanizing, keeping late nights ''if you were not doing such before the union''. You just have be very objective and rational in your dealings now, that will enable you emancipate yourself out of this mess. Thanks and wish you all the best in life.