So the woman won't compromise ...
one particular man here they annoy me I swear ..
sun abi na star be em name.

take her outing ko .
one say pre-intimacy.

is the woman in the relationship to be pleased ?

doesn't she know when she's going out offline ?
no time for rubbish abeg.
to pet an agbaya that is going out of line is not in my blood .
woman you're going out of line .....fix your relationship... reduce the stress if you must .
I am not saying you should be feeling like having sex all the time but , you can't just be uninterested at most times...and expect the man always strive to get you in the mood.

kimbraa:
Not just women, but couples. I guess you know what I meant now.

Women tend to want sex more as they get older

Are you really a lady?

Khallyella:
Once these ladies get married , their true colors start shining bright like a diamond in the sky, Bet if you were like this before you two got married, he wouldn't have taken you to the altar.

He most probably thinks you're attracted to someone else, and I also think so too, you don't just wake up one morning and start feeling unattracted to someone you've yearned to spend the rest of your life with lest you're under a spell

Try getting the spark back in the marriage or quit to give the innocent man peace of mind.

Adios.

Wonder2018:
This men though, shout out to all the married women out there who know/ feel they are doing well in this school called marriage, but still getting an F by their examiner the hubby.

After 6years am still not getting it.

I used' to be the sex lover, who I loved intimacy with him from our dating ratings till recently, I won't deny the fact that I observed am loosing it gradually, easily put off, easily tired, not always in this mood, I just want to get in bed and sleep, (I sincerely never saw this day coming, knowing how sexually active I used to be) but whatever, I still make sure am available, i just don't really participate. But does this mean am cheating?

Hubby woke me around 4am and wanted us to get down, I was tired, i just started this new business (logistics) it's taking a ton out of me in a different way, once am tired, nothing gets wet, everywhere is dry and tight. He wanted it from behind, usually I can deal without my vibrator, but I just wasnt in the mood, so I didn't use my vibe, I just took it in that way, it was painful and uncomfortable for me, but I wanted him satisfied.

After we weere done, he said to me it's no more like before, are you cheating on me, and since then hubby has been Moody and all gloomy, I tried to hold a convo with him, but he just isn't interested, all he knows is once my private part doesn't feel the same, them am automatically cheating. I don't think that's fair, what happened to finding out what's wrong with this lady that it seems she is loosing what she used to have, what happened to seeing It from a positive angle.

Am not happy at all, I want to leave him to get over it, but then again I taught, it's not the first time he is asking me if am cheating, claiming the place feels different, when it feels loose, he would say something is different.

Okay here I am stating in 6 years I haven't cheated, sexually or any way possible. So if my body changed, i dont know why it did, if my pussy hole feels larger, i dont know what changed, sometimes am tight sometimes am not, i don't want to be tagged what am not, or to suffer for what am not even close to doing, cause if he wants to make you suffer like he will do it so well, you wont know when you will start begging him to forgive you for what you didn't even do, so please sex therapist in the house come and look into this for us from a different angle other than cheating, hopefully he sees this and reads comments.

Body changes does not automatically mean she's cheating. Men!!! Stop doing it

sister, this seems not to be much of an issue,
First of all I believe you are saying the truth regards to the situation, and you are not cheating. But it's quite logical. you use a vibrator as mentioned, I believe to attain orgarsm or arouse yourself . But the issue is you kind of don't have the drive and motivation to have real sex, due to the pleasure you attain from the vibrator. And probably you got a vibrator that is way larger than uncle hubby's joystick resulting is your wider pvssy for him. So save your marriage by doing the needful, that is stop using the vibe and master natural sex again.

This is a very critical issue and also mind boggling... It affects many partners in marriages especially men. Will comment later just waking up and have to dress up for work.

Lemme come in here. Your husbands attitude towards you made you loose the connect you once had for him. Hence the once sex crazed lady suddenly hates it. So if you get a new bobo now you won't get wet abi? Why the vibe wen hubby didn't travel abroad? You don't enjoy sex with him anymore so you resolved to pleasure yursef

The problem is that so many men these days are too difficult to please. I guess his attitude towards the wife must have contributed to it. Besides when you love your wife's body and not her real self tendencies are high that such a matter could arise. Make your woman happy during the day and you will enjoy her during the night simple.

kimbraa:
I had to read the write-up twice to see if my eyes were playing with me or it was actually as a result of your perception. She didn't say she's not attracted to him but that her sex life changed, and I think being easily put off, not always in the mood, always tired, is as a result of how busy her schedule is. 6years of marriage...after a year, don't expect your partner to be as sexually active as they were while dating or when newly married. The spark dwindles over time and once one of the partner takes cognisance of this, they work on it and bring back the spark but the main issue is the slacking vagina. I'm not a doc so wouldn't know why.

The person you quoted is more than right.


You won't understand until you have been in a marriage for a decade. It changes when the attraction changes.

Switup:
from all indication marriage is worth every investment effort n time. all you need do is get the instituter of the institution involved and you'll be good to go

And who is the instituter of marriage?

Relationship issues sef,a guy will see a girl as a bad person, leave the girl,let her be and go for the very good girls they want they will say no.

...

Let’s get this right, when a lady gets married a lot changes in her system, thoughts, physically and otherwise this is also applicable to the man.
What she is experiencing is normal.
Now most people here are accusing her of cheating, I think they are single young boys who aren’t willing to learn from other people’s experience.
She can send a mail to milordprince@icloud.com
I will help her with the tips to solving the issue.

LoJ:
The more I read topics on nairaland romance section, the less I believe in this illusion called marriage.

From all indications mariage is a very bad investment. Is this thing called marriage worth all the stress and energy put into it?

honestly marriage is terrible. Am into it but want to get out. Its suffocating, has dwindled my drive n has been a wasted investment. At least I want to pay less attention to the scam for now and put more energy into my life's dreams.maybe later I throw the rubbish away entirely.

shekauvsbuhari:
honestly marriage is terrible. Am into it but want to get out. Its suffocating, has dwindled my drive n has been a wasted investment. At least I want to pay less attention to the scam for now and put more energy into my life's dreams.maybe later I throw the rubbish away entirely.

Kindly have a rethink, do not quit your home I will rather advice you seek proper counseling, speaking as a doctor and a counselor I could assist if you mind: you can send a mail to milordprince@icloud.com

How come no one observed she was talking about anal sex? Cos she clearly stated he wanted it from the back.

Meanwhile, OP you and hubby should open up to each other and talk things through. Find a time when he's happy and in the mood for talk and have a heart-to-heart convo.

Truthsbitter:

see self acclaimed matured married woman.
you're concern that someone who has started feeling sexually uninterested for her hubby after 6 years is being accused of cheating.
then immediately you turn to the innocent man to assume he is cheating ...
gosh!!
where do these people creep out from?

Tell us what then you would have called the man if he was the one becoming ACUTELY sexually uninterested after just 6 years and blames it on stress, If you can even assume this silly thought of yours about the man cheating?

Gosh, that was hard to read. A little simplicity goes a long way, you know. No need to butter it all up to sound intelligent whereas you are not. First read my comment again, think and then put down your thoughts coherently please. That is if you want a discuss between the self acclaimed matured (whatever that means) and the self acclaimed scholar in all things (meaning you)

SoapQueen:


What do men really want? Today, you won't marry a liability, tomorrow, you won't marry a working woman.

Do not look for what men really want. Look for what your man really wants

mystiquerebirth:
Are you really a lady?

Yeah, does it matter?

donstan18:


I used couples to make my point when I first mentioned you, so don't see my comments as a man vs woman cheating tendency shii.

I still stand with my point; it's either OP is cheating or she's crushing on someone as a result of a faded character/ attribute of her husband.

Work don't steal sexual drives and attraction for a partner.
Marriage don't steal sexual drives and attraction, it can only get less, not abolished.

Stress and old age does. Even while in university, when there is stress of exam or test, who has time for Konji. Talk more of in marriage.

donstan18:


Marriage now steals sexual drives and feeling from women. I'm learning faster

Old age, stress does and not just from women. Do you know whether the man has gained weight and become more unattractive but she doesn't want to hurt his feelings? Moreover see the way he even initiated sex with her. No pre-intimacy, no nothing, just do doggy and roll over for sleep. If na you, u no go tire.

ubunja:

others want that working woman. not ubunja. ubunja needs a housewife. a young one at that

Who will never get old se? Because humans are forever young. Then you'll find another younger one to cheat with but somehow still make it the fault of the older one?

olaboy1:
Nothing you do can ever satisfy a woman, they always quickly feel that emotional emptiness that would eventually make them vulnerable to another d!ck.
I think marriage should be abolished and open relationships encourage, that way nobody can sexually hold you to ransom.
I had to comment because a close friend of mine is having this same sexless marriage with his wife.

Give OP a new d!ck and all that I’m busy with logistic work will fly out the window.

Advice the husband to spice up her marriage and she will not need to run outside for a new d!ck. The man just said he wanted to have sex by 4am in the night, he did not even do pre-intimacy or anything like that, he just told her to turn over and he did doggy till he climaxed, no care whether she enjoyed it or came. In fact she said it was painful for her but did he care? No! Then he ended the most horrible, unenjoyable and unfulfilling sex of her life with accusations of infidelity. If it was you that your wife did this to you how would you react?

MarieSucre:


Who will never get old se? Because humans are forever young. Then you'll find another younger one to cheat with but somehow still make it the fault of the older one?

yes. getting old is a crime. you get old you're replaced.

i really think all the unmarried should just keep their mouths zipped....seriously, making silly comments on something you know absolutely nothing about then i get to see 200 likes on it, really people?...when you get into the institution of marriage come back and make sensible comments...

my dear OP, we are all in the same boat..sex for me was definitely not what is used to feel like..but sweetheart you just simply have to work on it. i was once on that road and when i saw how it affected my hubby,i had to put in the effort and honestly i believe i have gotten my sex drive back...work on yourself and do kegel exercises...marriage is work, darling. you have to make a conscious effort.

Wonder2018:
This men though, shout out to all the married women out there who know/ feel they are doing well in this school called marriage, but still getting an F by their examiner the hubby.

After 6years am still not getting it.

I used' to be the sex lover, who I loved intimacy with him from our dating ratings till recently, I won't deny the fact that I observed am loosing it gradually, easily put off, easily tired, not always in this mood, I just want to get in bed and sleep, (I sincerely never saw this day coming, knowing how sexually active I used to be) but whatever, I still make sure am available, i just don't really participate. But does this mean am cheating?

Hubby woke me around 4am and wanted us to get down, I was tired, i just started this new business (logistics) it's taking a ton out of me in a different way, once am tired, nothing gets wet, everywhere is dry and tight. He wanted it from behind, usually I can deal without my vibrator, but I just wasnt in the mood, so I didn't use my vibe, I just took it in that way, it was painful and uncomfortable for me, but I wanted him satisfied.

After we weere done, he said to me it's no more like before, are you cheating on me, and since then hubby has been Moody and all gloomy, I tried to hold a convo with him, but he just isn't interested, all he knows is once my private part doesn't feel the same, them am automatically cheating. I don't think that's fair, what happened to finding out what's wrong with this lady that it seems she is loosing what she used to have, what happened to seeing It from a positive angle.

Am not happy at all, I want to leave him to get over it, but then again I taught, it's not the first time he is asking me if am cheating, claiming the place feels different, when it feels loose, he would say something is different.

Okay here I am stating in 6 years I haven't cheated, sexually or any way possible. So if my body changed, i dont know why it did, if my pussy hole feels larger, i dont know what changed, sometimes am tight sometimes am not, i don't want to be tagged what am not, or to suffer for what am not even close to doing, cause if he wants to make you suffer like he will do it so well, you wont know when you will start begging him to forgive you for what you didn't even do, so please sex therapist in the house come and look into this for us from a different angle other than cheating, hopefully he sees this and reads comments.

Body changes does not automatically mean she's cheating. Men!!! Stop doing it

Your husband side of the story
Hi Nlanders,
This is strictly for those that are married and thus engage in adventurous sexual act with their wife. Please if you are'nt or dont have experience, kindly dont post here.

I have been noticing my woman for quite some months now, I just decided to let the cat off the bag. She has been having anal sex before I met her, and we did continue also when we met because I also have been engaged in the same act before we met.

Sometimes, if by chance we havent had it anal in a week or less, when i try to enter her, she'll be saying, no its painful which aint true, i have lived with her for 5 years, most times she dont even need lube for me to gain entrance due to her anal experience.

But I just always try to do my thang, she prefers anal to vaginal sex because thats where she gets her serious and strong orgasm from.

Whenever she does that her no, am not in the mood, its painful thing, she constricts her muscle to make the anal entrance tight presumably that i dont feel the looseness.

And at the end of the day when i get in, i just feel the looseness and it fills me with so much worry and doubt if she's having such sacred sexual intercourse with another man after paying her pride price. It will be hella degrading if this is true.

Guys, whenever we have it mutually, its always very tight and untouched, but whenever she does that am nt in the mood, its painful thing, its just to find out that the asshole is just another freeway @ dat moment.

The same thing happened yesternight, this time I said everything just feels different, and I risked asking her if she was cheating on me, in which normally she responded No,
I went back to bed, she came back from the bathroom hugging and petting me that she's sorry, that shes not just in the mood for sex, she probably didnt know wat am complaining about by saying everything feels different, I didnt want to say it all.
Could she be cheating?

How can I get to catch her because I have a strong feeling she is.

Please no advise of tracking her phone or all those silly ways of catching a cheater. Mature advise plz, cant stand living with a cheating woman,
I have been here for 5 years as a faithful man, you can imagine sey person find out sey them dey bang ur wife for yansh outside.
My lawd, I wont conclude just yet.

This lady here is most likely either cheating with a lesbian or making more frequent use of her vibrator. From what I know, the highest user of vibrators are lesbians and bisexuals and it has been proven scientifically that these people usually have longer and more frequent orgasms than the normal heterosexual ladies. This is why you haven't been able to satisfy your husband. I also saw your husbands thread and from what I saw, you guys have anal sex-Another sexual aberration that's exclusive to homosexuals. I think you should tell us the full story!

ubunja:
yes. getting old is a crime. you get old you're replaced.

You will get old too you know.

DrinkLimca:
Op calm down..
This and many more are probably one of the trials of marriages all over the world..
Marriage is indeed not just a bed of roses, just like how every good things in life must be accompanied with trials..

If you vagina is loosed, then find some ways to tighten it..

Sometimes you don't have to wait for him to initiate sex, you as the wife should find a way to be in the mood and then go to him...

The problem here is not even him as all men behaves that way, if he says you are cheating it's because of his human nature as all human are jealous..
most especially when it concerns those they love..

So op don't bother yourself as this trials will be over very soon, you as the wife should find a way to spice it up..

word

MarieSucre:


Advice the husband to spice up her marriage and she will not need to run outside for a new d!ck. The man just said he wanted to have sex by 4am in the night, he did not even do pre-intimacy or anything like that, he just told her to turn over and he did doggy till he climaxed, no care whether she enjoyed it or came. In fact she said it was painful for her but did he care? No! Then he ended the most horrible, unenjoyable and unfulfilling sex of her life with accusations of infidelity. If it was you that your wife did this to you how would you react?

No time for pre-intimacy by 4am for a woman that will soon disappear to work in 1 or 2 hrs time when the poor man may have been begging her all night long. pre-intimacy is what a couple do after dinner by 8pm. When she wants the poor husband to die of konji all night having a sleepless night thinking what kind of sh!t have I gotten myself into, oh God I should have listened to my randy friends and maybe by now I will be smashing one cute 100l girl from OSU.

You can’t just turn your back on your husband and expect him to understand and deal with it. How about “sweetheart you are the best thing that ever happened before slice bread and my body and soul want you all the time, is it okay if we don’t have frequent sex for another three months while I stabilize this start up company...thanks hunnie mua mua.

But when you tell him “oh baby not tonight, can’t you see how tired I am and is sex the only thing you know. That to me is a recipe for divorce, just don’t bring your problem here when it gets to that.

MarieSucre:


You will get old too you know.

im a man. what matters is my money.
you should know that by now.

olaboy1:


No time for pre-intimacy by 4am for a woman that will soon disappear to work in 1 or 2 hrs time when the poor man may have been begging her all night long. pre-intimacy is what a couple do after dinner by 8pm. When she wants the poor husband to die of konji all night having a sleepless night thinking what kind of sh!t have I gotten myself into, oh God I should have listened to my randy friends and maybe by now I will be smashing one cute 100l girl from OSU.

You can’t just turn your back on your husband and expect him to understand and deal with it. How about “sweetheart you are the best thing that ever happened before slice bread and my body and soul want you all the time, is it okay if we don’t have frequent sex for another three months while I stabilize this start up company...thanks hunnie mua mua.

But when you tell him “oh baby not tonight, can’t you see how tired I am and is sex the only thing you know. That to me is a recipe for divorce, just don’t bring your problem here when it gets to that.

look at the quotes below;
"sweetheart you are the best thing that ever happened before slice bread and my body and soul want you all the time, is it okay if we don’t have frequent sex for another three months while I stabilize this start up company...thanks hunnie mua mua."

Does she need to tell him this? Don't they live together? Doesn't he know it notice her hustle?

You guys make a big deal out of telling women to know a man's mood and know when not to disturb him especially when he is tired from work and doesn't need any unnecessary nagging but I think you guys need that skill more than ever.