Incase this is a wrong section to post this, mod help me take it to the right section.
Hello nairalanders I have this issue disturbing me for sometime now. I hope to get honest help from either those who have experience it or those with knowledge on how to tackle it. I was into a pastor home and you know how it is been a pastor's son, the way people see us in the society and the 'expectations' they hope for. Now this is where my problem starts I feel in love with a girl and things were going well not really that deep intimate but kind some people call 'holy friendship' the mum knows about us so also my mum sincerely this is the first girl I am really into, even creating a place for her in my future. ( though she's not my first girlfriend, I keep breaking up with others girls cause of what people say, things like you are s pastor's son and ought to be an example couple with my mum telling me about the home am from et al.). There is this particular girl I really loved in uniben but the same issue make us break up. Recently this same scenario is surfacing with this current girl and am worried at 22 shouldn't I be in a relationship? I will be graduating from school next year should I still displease self to obey my parent just like the bible ask us to? Please who has passed through this I really need your help on how you tackled it, whoever I just don't want to anyone getting hurt especially she & I. Please no insults all I ask for is advice I am in a dilemma.

i believe it depends on ur mentality entering such a relationship, all of oyedepo boys were married before the age of 28.. dey had decent relationships . if u are a pastor's son and u truly like a girl, u know
1. NO SEX, SMOOCHING OR KISSING
2. ur relationship is very open.1e. she comes to the house, does not wear makeup or heavy one and decent BLACK hairstyle, no tight clothes,weda skirt or pants etc
3. u love her enough to marry her

so wen u are truly ready for RELATIONSHIP, use this for ur checklist.

pls note: this advise is for all born again christian youths,not just pastor son

HRHQueenPhil:
i believe it depends on ur mentality entering such a relationship, all of oyedepo boys were married before the age of 28.. dey had decent relationships . if u are a pastor's son and u truly like a girl, u know
1. NO SEX, SMOOCHING OR KISSING
2. ur relationship is very open.1e. she comes to the house, does not wear makeup or heavy one and decent BLACK hairstyle, no tight clothes,weda skirt or pants etc
3. u love her enough to marry her

so wen u are truly ready for RELATIONSHIP, use this for ur checklist.

pls note: this advise is for all born again christian youths,not just pastor son

thanks bro, we do visit each others home and all that you listed up there are properly checked but still tongues still wag and my parents are getting really concerned about hearsay.

LazyNairalander:


thanks bro, we do visit each others home and all that you listed up there are properly checked but still tongues still wag and my parents are getting really concerned about hearsay.

Primarily I'll suggest you don't do secret relationship. Its like your mum is understanding, so let her know about your friendship with any lady. Also, get every 'relationship' properly define. Note you'll still abstain from waging and any immoral thought. Let Holy spirit be your guide and pray sincerely about every relationship.
Lastly, considering your age and academic position. I'll advice you spend more time on self development - learning new skills, preparing for life after school.
God bless you!

The issue I think is not the relationship itself but your mindset going into it. The way your parent s treat you/ advice you is a feedback of how they see you vis Avis how mature they have seen you handle the issues life. This is what I am saying, there is no reason your mother should be in your neck if she in convinced that you are mature and can handle things without putting them to shame.

On your own level. Be plain about the issues of sex in your relationship. Agree on boundaries and believe God to help you keep yourselves. DO NOT think that everyone is engaging in premarital sex I courted my wife for 4 years and we never had sex. I married her virgin and this year our marriage will be 10 years.

tongues will only wag wen u are not doing things properly..dont let it get 2 u

LazyNairalander:


thanks bro, we do visit each others home and all that you listed up there are properly checked but still tongues still wag and my parents are getting really concerned about hearsay.

HRHQueenPhil:
tongues will only wag wen u are not doing things properly..dont let it get 2 u

Thanks alot.

1stNumeroUno:


Primarily I'll suggest you don't do secret relationship. Its like your mum is understanding, so let her know about your friendship with any lady. Also, get every 'relationship' properly define. Note you'll still abstain from waging and any immoral thought. Let Holy spirit be your guide and pray sincerely about every relationship.
Lastly, considering your age and academic position. I'll advice you spend more time on self development - learning new skills, preparing for life after school.
God bless you!

She is but recently she told me that ' you know the kind of family you are from, your parents stands at the alter to preach do not let people tell us(she and my dad) words. And everything started flashing back, when I said everything I what people keep saying. Like pastor's children are this and that.

yemisolar:
The issue I think is not the relationship itself but your mindset going into it. The way your parent s treat you/ advice you is a feedback of how they see you vis Avis how mature they have seen you handle the issues life. This is what I am saying, there is no reason your mother should be in your neck if she in convinced that you are mature and can handle things without putting them to shame.

On your own level. Be plain about the issues of sex in your relationship. Agree on boundaries and believe God to help you keep yourselves. DO NOT think that everyone is engaging in premarital sex I courted my wife for 4 years and we never had sex. I married her virgin and this year our marriage will be 10 years.

Congratulations sir! Please are you from a clergy family too?

HRHQueenPhil:
tongues will only wag wen u are not doing things properly..dont let it get 2 u

I really appreciate. I was beginning to think as a pastor's son relationship should be off my mind. I guess I will have yo be more matured in handling it..

LazyNairalander:
Incase this is a wrong section to post this, mod help me take it to the right section.
Hello nairalanders I have this issue disturbing me for sometime now. I hope to get honest help from either those who have experience it or those with knowledge on how to tackle it. I was into a pastor home and you know how it is been a pastor's son, the way people see us in the society and the 'expectations' they hope for. Now this is where my problem starts I feel in love with a girl and things were going well not really that deep intimate but kind some people call 'holy friendship' the mum knows about us so also my mum sincerely this is the first girl I am really into, even creating a place for her in my future. ( though she's not my first girlfriend, I keep breaking up with others girls cause of what people say, things like you are s pastor's son and ought to be an example couple with my mum telling me about the home am from et al.). There is this particular girl I really loved in uniben but the same issue make us break up. Recently this same scenario is surfacing with this current girl and am worried at 22 shouldn't I be in a relationship? I will be graduating from school next year should I still displease self to obey my parent just like the bible ask us to? Please who has passed through this I really need your help on how you tackled it, whoever I just don't want to anyone getting hurt especially she & I. Please no insults all I ask for is advice I am in a dilemma.

Follow Allison Hycintho page on Facebook, read his posts 6 months back and you'll know just what to do by his grace. Thousands of Christian couples go there.

EBLABOR:




Follow Allison Hycintho page on Facebook, read his posts 6 months back and you'll know just what to do by his grace. Thousands of Christian couples go there.

Okay, right away. Thanks

LazyNairalander:


Congratulations sir! Please are you from a clergy family too?

No. My parents a not pastors. I am just an everyday Christian who decided to stand out. I have a couple of friends who did the same thing. We were not overtly spiritual about it. We were sincere to ourselves and didn't criticise unnecessarily.

The rule of the thumb is 'if you don't believe or want to engage in premarital sex, don't date or have close friends who believe otherwise. It doesn't mean they are bad people, it only means you cannot afford to have them in your core circle. There will be times when you will be vulnerable since emotions are involved and at such times, its the support structure that will pull your out. The devil cannot get everyone at the same time

yemisolar:


No. My parents a not pastors. I am just an everyday Christian who decided to stand out. I have a couple of friends who did the same thing. We were not overtly spiritual about it. We were sincere to ourselves and didn't criticise unnecessarily.

The rule of the thumb is 'if you don't believe or want to engage in premarital sex, don't date or have close friends who believe otherwise. It doesn't mean they are bad people, it only means you cannot afford to have them in your core circle. There will be times when you will be vulnerable since emotions are involved and at such times, its the support structure that will pull your out. The devil cannot get everyone at the same time

This is really inspiring. I will give it a shot.