Hi everyone,

my ex and I share a child. We separated a year ago because of his refusal to pay the bride price and so on.
We see each other because of the baby and he tries to sleep with me every time.
Whenever I tell him to make things official first, he walks away and comes back after a while.

I went crazy trying to understand why he does not want to marry me, at one point I thought it was a religious / tribal thing.
He never introduced me to his family (both his parents died but he has many sisters and extended family);
I introduced myself after the baby's birth, he was angry, but he came to terms with it.

But two days ago, her sister called me to ask if I still want it. She said that if I do, I must to fight for him and she will be on my side.
She told me "the other woman" is a terrible person and has already created a lot of tension and divisions between brothers and sisters.

She also told me that he had a daughter with this woman and that our children are only 2 or 3 months apart.

She said he had not officially introduced her and that they only heard about her at the funeral of their older sister in December.
The sister claims that she came alone and that's when they had a fallout. After that, her brother called her to ask her to apologize to his girlfriend.

I still have feelings for him and as he was trying to get into my pants, I thought there was still hope
for us but gizzz ...
I am so hurt that I am numb.

The sister insists that I fight for him, but I told her I could not because he obviously made his decision. If she went to the funeral, I'm sure she had his
blessing. Now, if he introduced her and not me, it's pretty clear right ?

Uummm...


First, ask urself...WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IN YOUR LIFE?

This guy is obviously has no intentions to take u to the altar. He juz want some "drop by" & go.. U keep getting gurt coz u keep giving urself a false hope.

Try to move on and focus on urself & ur child.. And about her sister, she is juz using u to kick another badass.. Don't put urself in a mess..Ur child is growing , make that little angel ur PRIORITY...

''She also told me that he had a daughter with this woman and that our children are only 2 or 3 months apart."

give yourself your peace of mind and avoid this fight, its not gonna change the guy.

if you eventually marry this guy, you will not be happy with the marriage because you'll be fighting to keep the marriage.

I know you love him and all, but Sis whether in relationships or marriage always put yourself first, ask yourself if this person makes you feel safe and happy if the answer is No, babe please for the sake of your poor heart and sanity drop him like hot yam, don't fight for what would cause you troubles, you deserve better. a word is enough for the wise.