I will not even want to hear of such, i dont even want any ex to be speaking to my wife about political views let alone, financial assistance.

what it really means is that my wife is indirectly telling the ex she made a mistake in marrying me, if i accept such an offer it makes me a sick man, everyman wants to be the alpha and omega of his wife and wants to be in the position to provide all, but we all know that is not the case and it is left for the wife to protect the husbands dignity and vice versa.

as for strings attached, with ex's the strings are always there waiting to be played,how will the woman feel if she cant cook my favorite meal the way i like it and once in a while i visit my ex for a well cooked delicacy and then explain to my in laws that there is no string attached, remember Okafor's law.

It is better to be safe than sorry.

~Sauron~:

Getting a job for you could even be worse.
Technically, this man is now paying your life bills and he could get more. . . .Sexual harrassment, exploitation, etc.
You will always be in his face and with time, something else could develop.
Whereas with money, it is a one-off thingy.

Nah. . . . . .sometimes couples get into sticky situations and either the man or the wife can go out there and seek HELP.
It means shyte.

No one is disputing that it's the man's primary responsibility.
But sometimes men do fail in this responsibility temporarily - so bloody what?

That is because i trust my wife. . . . . .I know no amount of money can get her to go sleep with another man.
In your case, you don't trust yourself and you know a briefcase full of cash can egg you on to eat the forbidden fruit.

ROTFLMAO    

This is hilarious! You ask her to seek for help from a man and then turn around to say 'no amount of money can make her sleep with another man!      

Seriously, are you pulling my strings?  

Pls What is OKAFOR's LAW??

OAM4J:

No. I think you are.
To think you have the capability of subjecting your wife to such ridicule, means you are shameless,
insensitive and unworthy to be called a MAN. - no pun intended & nothing personal  

And to think you will do it with your ex and NOT trusting the woman you married under vows make you a consummate simpleton, self-centred, priggish and pseudo-authoritative.

michelin89:

Yes I am Miss Drama. If you don't go to your ex, your kids will die of hunger.

But seriously, what type of exes do you have?

Ujujoan:

This is hilarious! You ask her to seek for help from a man and then turn around to say 'no amount of money can make her sleep with another man!      
Seriously, are you pulling my strings?  

Seeking for financial assistance is different to prostituting for money.
What you retards are saying here is no woman can honestly seek help from a male associate without a sexual undertone attached to it?
The moral decadence of the average Nigerian is now at an ALL-TIME low.
At this point, i am ashamed to be called Nigerian. . . . .Y'all idiots disgust me.

OAM4J:

No. I think you are.

To think you have the capability of subjecting your wife to such ridicule, means you are shameless,

insensitive and unworthy to be called a MAN. - no pun intended & nothing personal

Gbam!  

michelin89:

Yes I am Miss Drama. If you don't go to your ex, your kids will die of hunger.

But seriously, what type of exes do you have?

I think the question should be, what kind of husband do you have?  

~Sauron~:

And to think you will do it with your ex and NOT trusting the woman you married under vows make you a consummate simpleton, self-centred, priggish and pseudo-authoritative.

You dont get it! It's nothing personal . . it's not about him, you or me! It's about the concept of a man encouraging his wife to seek help from he ex!

He is exposing her to all sorts of things and s3xual harrassment is the biggest of them!

If she knows it's a last resort for a life threathining issues, she might be forced to do it and not tell her husband just to meet that need.

What happens to her respect for him as a wife to a husband? I tell you, it's gone with the wind! 

Ujujoan:

You dont get it! It's nothing personal . . it's not about him, you or me! It's about the concept of a man encouraging his wife to seek help from he ex!

If that's the only option left then by all means, LET HER USE THE OPTION.

He is exposing her to all sorts of things and s3xual harrassment is the biggest of them!

What nonsense sexual harassment are we talking about here?
She asks and if the guy attaches a condition to it, she leaves. . . .What is the biggie in it?

If she know it's a last resort for a life threathining issues, she might be forced to do it and not tell her husband just to meet that need.

I wonder what kinda wife would you be?
If you cannot tell your husband how you came up with the money. . . .would you then tell him if you sleep with your ex?
When people operate with transparency and sheer honesty, all manner of distrust and sexual undertones will be completely eliminated.

What happens to her respect for him as a wife to a husband? I tell you, it's gone with the wind! 

Respect goes outta the window the moment you ask your ex for any favour.
Be it job assistance, visa assistance, fuckever assistance.

If you want to hold on to any RESPECT - then be an island. Don't fuckin ask anybody for any fecking favour.
U cannot eat your cake and have it.

Its not an easy do. These days we believe nothing goes for nothing! Be careful or don't try it at all.

No. it is not the best idea!

~Sauron~:

If that's the only option left then by all means, LET HER USE THE OPTION.

What nonsense sexual harassment are we talking about here?
She asks and if the guy attaches a condition to it, she leaves. . . .What is the biggie in it?
I wonder what kinda wife would you be?
If you cannot tell your husband how you came up with the money. . . .would you then tell him if you sleep with your ex?
When people operate with transparency and sheer honesty, all manner of distrust and sexual undertones will be completely eliminated.

Respect goes outta the window the moment you ask your ex for any favour.
Be it job assistance, visa assistance, fuckever assistance.

If you want to hold on to any RESPECT - then be an island. Don't ask fuckin anybody for any fecking favour.
U cannot eat your cake and have it.

So what happens to the life-threathening situation    

I mean if she can do without it in the first place then why do it at all?

No need to get hysterical Sauron but that's life . .  a woman asks a man for money, there's every possibility that he'd expect s3x in return and the fact that you want to pretend you don't know that only exposes your level of reasoning!

Nobody's saying it's wrong to ask for help, but for a woman to ask her ex when she's married? That's absurd!

I remember opening a thread about receiving gifts from an ex and you guys were foaming through your mouth! You this scenario is worse!  

totally wrong

~Sauron~:

And to think you will do it with your ex and NOT trusting the woman you married under vows make you a consummate simpleton, self-centred, priggish and pseudo-authoritative.

Like I said, nothing personal. And I didn't say I will do it with my ex. (make me a liar and quote me)

~Sauron~:


What nonsense sexual harassment are we talking about here?
She asks and if the guy attaches a condition to it, she leaves. . . .What is the biggie in it?

the big deal is that she would have lost her pride/respect (including the husband's and family pride), received an insult and at the end got NOTHING.

Now the question is: 'Does it worth it?'

Ujujoan:

So what happens to the life-threathening situation    
I mean if she can do without it in the first place then why do it at all?

In a life threatening situation. . . .she asks and if the ex is acting funny, she leaves.
There has to be a way and we are talking about his ex that became a platonic friend here.

No need to get hysterical Sauron but that's life . .  a woman asks a man for money, there's every possibility that he'd expect s3x in return and the fact that you want to pretend you don't know that only exposes your level of reasoning!

So when a woman asks a man for other favours apart from money, there isn't every possibility that he'd want to sleep with her?
What's your point, young woman?
The possibility of a man expecting to get shagged is always there. . . .It's not until you ask him for a favour.

Nobody's saying it's wrong to ask for help, but for a woman to ask her ex when she's married? That's absurd!

Just like it's equally absurd for any married woman to ask any male companion for any favour.
That's ma point. . . . .Don't embrace one and knock the other out!!!
Every single situation of a married woman asking any favour from any male acquaintance CAN ALWAYS lead to the UNKNOWN.

I remember opening a thread about receiving gifts from an ex and you guys were foaming through your mouth! You this scenario is worse!  :-

People frothed in the mouth about you receiving gifts from an ex because of your materialistic nature.
You'd get weak in the knees if a gorilla presents a gift to you, never mind humans.

~Sauron~:

In a life threatening situation. . . .she asks and if the ex is acting funny, she leaves.
There has to be a way and we are talking about his ex that became a platonic friend here.

So when a woman asks a man for other favours apart from money, there isn't every possibility that he'd want to sleep with her?
What's your point, young woman?
The possibility of a man expecting to get shagged is always there. . . .It's not until you ask him for a favour.

Just like it's equally absurd for any married woman to ask any male companion for any favour.
That's ma point. . . . .Don't embrace one and knock the other out!!!
Every single situation of a married woman asking any favour from any male acquaintance CAN ALWAYS lead to the UNKNOWN.

People frothed in the mouth about you receiving gifts from an ex because of your materialistic nature.
You'd get weak in the knees if a gorilla presents a gift to you, never mind humans.

Now you are just using your brain to throw a fit and that's obviosuly making it impossible for you to use it to reason!

By all mean do what you want. But I'm not one to encourage laziness in a man and if you think that makes me materialistic, then so be it!

_{still lol laughing at the trusting your wife statement!}

OAM4J:

Like I said, nothing personal. And I didn't say I will do it with my ex. (make me a liar and quote me)

the big deal is that she would have lost her pride/respect (including the husband's and family pride), received an insult and at the end got NOTHING.

Now the question is: 'Does it worth it?'

Your reasoning is lost on him! He's busy looking for one of his GFs' ex to beg for recharge card!

Nothing is wrong with that but she has to be very careful not to send a an unintended message to her Ex. She should make sure that her husband doesn't know or else her marriage will be heading for the rocks.

Ujujoan:

Now you are just using your brain to throw a fit and that's obviosuly making it impossible for you to use it to reason!

By all mean do what you want. But I'm not one to encourage laziness in a man and if you think that makes me materialistic, then so be it!    

_{still lol laughing at the trusting your wife statement!}    

All these are brain-farts, Ujujoan.
Whatever makes a woman seeking money from an ex bad. . . .it also makes a woman seeking any favour from any man BAD as well.
That's ma point.

OAM4J:

the big deal is that she would have lost her pride/respect (including the husband's and family pride), received an insult and at the end got NOTHING.

Now the question is: 'Does it worth it?'

And i am saying she would have lost the same pride/respect(including the husband and family pride), received an insult and at the end got NOTHING if she asks any male acquaintance for ANY FAVOUR at all(excluding financial assistance).
One assistance is not more honourable than the other. I dunno why this line of logic is difficult to grasp.

@soldee "Let the woman weather the storm with her man, broke or skint "

~Sauron~:

All these are brain-farts, Ujujoan.
Whatever makes a woman seeking money from an ex bad. . . .it also makes a woman seeking any favour from any man BAD as well.
That's ma point.

And i am saying she would have lost the same pride/respect(including the husband and family pride), received an insult and at the end got NOTHING if she asks any male acquaintance for ANY FAVOUR at all(excluding financial assistance).
One assistance is not more honourable than the other. I dunno why this line of logic is difficult to grasp.

Am not contesting your logic, only that, it is another debate for another thread.

But at least let as agree that as far as this thread subject is concerned, she and her husband have much to lose asking for financial assistance from an ex, hence it doesnt worth it.

Ahhh . . . . . . NO!

minute:

Ahhh . . . . . . NO!

Ahhh, y!!

I turned my nose up at this post when i saw it initially - thinking no one would bother to reply to such silliness. Obviously, i was wrong. Hell, let me add my 2 cents.

This is not about ego, pride, arrogance, hunger, insecurity, trust, or any manner of wotsits you care to name. It is simply about 2 words - Respect & Integrity.
It is disrespectful for a married woman to turn to a ex-lover, or even male friend for financial assistance. None of them are neutral relationships, and there is certainly a conflict of interest.  She not only disrespects her husband, she also disrespects her marriage, and herself, whilst showing a distinct lack of principles and integrity - Only Dogs go back to their vomit, so as to eat it again.

Marriage is sacrosanct institution between Husband and Wife.  It is always irresponsible to bring in a biased third party that may have a vested interest, and make them privy to your difficulties and issues.

A man who assents to such simply has no respect for  himself, and his wife knew - that's why she would even put such a thing to him in the first place.

The essence of the marriage union has been downplayed so much that this matter becomes a topic to discuss.
What does a married woman want with an ex? If the husband cant afford what she wants, is going back to an ex the solution?
Why do many women believe they can only gain funds from handouts rather than earning, how bout looking for another way out and keep her pride [not just his alone] intact?
A wise woman would seek to join forces with her man to overcome financial challenges, not go out looking for shortcuts to rise above such domestic issues.

She should remember her vows: 'For richer for poorer'

pls peeps watch INDICENT PROPOSAL the feeling is un-bearable.

my is NO,it is very wrong,with or without my husbands consent.

What if the married lady is not good in bed and, because of his wife's incompetence in bedroom skills, the husband seeks help from his ex to satisfy him in the important area that which his wife is incapable of satisfying.

Princek12:

What if the married lady is not good in bed and, because of his wife's incompetence in bedroom skills, the husband seeks help from his ex to satisfy him in the important area that which his wife is incapable of satisfying.

Nairalanders and extremely dumb analogies.

Depends.

Personally I pray NEVER to find myself in such position.

But if it is a matter of life or death, and he is the only one I know that can help . .  . . then I will swallow my pride and ask for assistance.

borrowing money from an ex is way too much for me to take as a husband. i will not allow her to take a ride in an ex car. To hell with such idea. i happen to meet an ex in a wedding i went with my wife. the ceremony bearly ended when my wife said we should go home. i refused cos i was part of the committee of friend. my wife never left myside ever since she saw the ex.

hmm for me noting is wrong to seek for financial help from your ex. it depends on the condition at hand. from all the comment i read so far it seems that all friendship are only based on intimacy, friends is meant to help each other in time of difficulties, there many things to consider here.

AS A WOMAN

1 Did your ex bf asked you for marriage and you decline due to his financial status then?
if the answer is yes, then is wrong for you to look for financial assistance from him.

2 Did your husband know that you have been in a relationship with the guy in question? if yes that when you will talking of ego or whatever, but ego should put aside in difficult times.

3 Did both of you quietly decided to do apart without conflict? may be for some reason best well know to you people. if yes, you have every right to ask him for financial assistance.

From what most of you implies here not to ask any assistance from your ex, if i may ask, if you see your ex along the road involved in a car accident wouldn't scuttle him/her  to hospital and take care of him/her/ or are you going to leave him/her to die there just because your avoiding him/her not to revamp your relationship.

for me is 100% right.

what's all these talk of pride.

i see nothing wrong in asking your ex for financial assistance in a tough situation. not every ex is out to take advantage of you.   pride won't stop hunger or bankruptcy.

I'd say no.