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Help!!! - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Please Advice Me... Am Getting Depressed. / HELP!!! I Am Getting Depressed! / 6 Years Of Marriage No Children.i Am Getting Depressed And Sad (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Help!!! by Adebayo4christ: 10:09am On Jun 16, 2018
Restroom:



If her father, mother or brother are alive

Report her to her family

Remain the good guy you are.
Balance it.
If she is the one bringing out money for support, go out there ad hussle and stop depending on her.




I am ready to pay her back in her own coins now. have told her she has brought out the devil In me and she will see it. I have never raised my voice on her. even when she shouts , I plead with her to reduce her voice. I hate it when people or neighbour hears husband and wife shouting on each other. secondly, she is not bringing money for support. I give her 1k everyday despite the fact she is with her mum. bfr going to d office, I go there and see her, after closing, same thing. what else will I do. as per her parent, that's a no go area. she don warned me never to involve them or else na wahala I dey look for. and me don't like wahala. also, my mum is So one who notices if things r not going on well, my mum will always call me aside to talk to me. even despite my dad's sickness , he is always telling me never to hurt her but they don't know what I am going thru deep down . I am beginning to think the reason her dad go stay for abuja may be also her mum is not giving the husband peace of mind. the dad comes home two times in a year. the mum dare not talk to her, she will shun her mum not to interfere btw us. same thing she wants from my mum. you don't know my wife, she can't be intimidated. she is prepared for anything. I guess she has found what she wants and need ( the pregnancy).

I am also tired of praying or committing anything to God's hands again. it's a pity I don't know how to drink, or have friends. I am a lone ranger.
I would have indulge in something that will make me forget my sorrow.
Re: Help!!! by Nobody: 10:24am On Jun 16, 2018
She now has you by the balls now(pregnancy) so she has solidified the marriage. She can even slap u now cos u cannot leave her and ur kid in her parents house ul be seen as a useless man. But sometimes if water pass Garri e better say dem see u as useless man. Lmao
Re: Help!!! by Adebayo4christ: 12:57pm On Jun 16, 2018
Pipedreams:
She now has you by the balls now(pregnancy) so she has solidified the marriage. She can even slap u now cos u cannot leave her and ur kid in her parents house ul be seen as a useless man. But sometimes if water pass Garri e better say dem see u as useless man. Lmao

she is always in her parents house and comes home whenever she feels like. So , It is even easy to run away from home
Re: Help!!! by motemi111(m): 1:42pm On Jun 16, 2018
I read through your previous post and I got to understand that she controls you and you are not ready to be a man that you are. Spirituality doesn't solve problems like this and reporting her to pastors doesn't solve it, You need to take the bull by the horns and let her understand that you are the man of the house, women are not easy to manipulate but with a firm decision, I believe she will change.
Re: Help!!! by Nobody: 2:31pm On Jun 16, 2018
Adebayo4christ:


she is always in her parents house and comes home whenever she feels like. So , It is even easy to run away from home

Bros are u a man? She goes to her parents house at will? And comes back when she likes? You're doomed. Her mum is the culprit here she's telling her daughter what to do and how to control you. Desist her from going there. If she disobeys you tell her to remain there and change the locks of ur house
Re: Help!!! by Restroom: 2:43pm On Jun 16, 2018
Adebayo4christ:


I am ready to pay her back in her own coins now. have told her she has brought out the devil In me and she will see it. I have never raised my voice on her. even when she shouts , I plead with her to reduce her voice. I hate it when people or neighbour hears husband and wife shouting on each other. secondly, she is not bringing money for support. I give her 1k everyday despite the fact she is with her mum. bfr going to d office, I go there and see her, after closing, same thing. what else will I do. as per her parent, that's a no go area. she don warned me never to involve them or else na wahala I dey look for. and me don't like wahala. also, my mum is So one who notices if things r not going on well, my mum will always call me aside to talk to me. even despite my dad's sickness , he is always telling me never to hurt her but they don't know what I am going thru deep down . I am beginning to think the reason her dad go stay for abuja may be also her mum is not giving the husband peace of mind. the dad comes home two times in a year. the mum dare not talk to her, she will shun her mum not to interfere btw us. same thing she wants from my mum. you don't know my wife, she can't be intimidated. she is prepared for anything. I guess she has found what she wants and need ( the pregnancy).

I am also tired of praying or committing anything to God's hands again. it's a pity I don't know how to drink, or have friends. I am a lone ranger.
I would have indulge in something that will make me forget my sorrow.


My advice is this, remain calm....

You don't ve to repay her in her own coins

Don't change to become a bad person, because of a bad wife

Live up to your responsibility as a husband
and father

The attitude you need to put up is the:

I don't give a damn attitude or

I nor see you attitude

You want to make her happy?

No

You cannot make a bad woman happy

If she fit get mind, then you must get mind too

Pray
Maintain your cool
Develop a thick skin to her behavior and her speech
Provide her needs, and give the money you can everyday

Keep yourself busy
keep yourself happy

take care of yourself, don't waste your time thinking about her bad actions

You will only die young of High BP if you do....

Learn to bear her bad character
Na her character
no be your own

so it is important you don't let her bad character turn you into a bad person....o

when I ask you to pray
he get why

if your wife dey mad
does that mean you need to become made
to prove to her say you too sabi mad

two mad people for house, no be wahala be DAT?

Bro, pray continually for her
Do you know if her mom done dey remote control your wife?

Always pray for your wife

Bible encourages us to pray for our enemies
and to keep doing good for her

One day, your good will touch her conscience and she will start to change

Treat her well
show her love
show her mom love
care for her
when you dey come from work, buy her good things you know she will like

let your actions speak to her

the more she dey misbehave
the more you need to do good to her

she is a woman

Only your good actions will make her change for good

The Bible says we must not take vengeance into our hands
It also says a man must love his wife dearly
Learn to make her laugh....
do some crazy funny stuff when is complaining

take her out....
bring back boyfriend
buy her ice cream
buy her chicken
play with her.....

Good conquers evil

If you ultimately want to conquer the evil gripping your wife.....

Continue to do good

please God

But if I may ask,

what are 5 things she complains about you often?

What does she nag about you?
You can't tell me you are free of fault in all these. If we say make we ask your wife wetin dey Shelley, wetin she go yan?

2 Likes

Re: Help!!! by Adebayo4christ: 4:02pm On Jun 16, 2018
But if I may ask,

what are 5 things she complains about you often?

What does she nag about you?
You can't tell me you are free of fault in all these. If we say make we ask your wife wetin dey Shelley, wetin she go yan?





[/quote]

bro, God sees my heart and God will judge me if everything u listed here , I have mot done them. I will leave my office during break just to come to her mum's school to ch3ck on her. buy food, drinks, I prefer not to have than for her to be in wants. do u know d reason I was asking for car then on uber thread, it was all to please her so we won't have to be jumping from one bus to f other all the time. what again does she wants. since we got married ,I have been the one washing my clothes by myself, or I take them to dry cleaners, I wash plates, cooks, sweeps, what again does she wants. someone adviced me on this thread that I should take it as if am staying at home alone, won't I do all this things myself.
she has taking me to be a weakling and I agreed I am. all because I never saw my dad matters my mum, I grew up learning from my dad who cooks for us alot of times bfr my mum was transferred back to lag. I am a weakling. she has taking advantage of that.

The five things she complain about me are:

my parents
2, my parents
3, my parents
4, my parents calling us to check on us.
5, that am not too spiritual like I was bfr we married and I explained to her, that with all get attiude, it's difficult for me to pray with me
Re: Help!!! by Nobody: 4:13pm On Jun 16, 2018
Your wife needs a JOB! Only an idle mind has time for such nonsense. If she's stucked in a 5hours traffic returning home after a tedious productive day, she won't have time for radarada!

1 Like

Re: Help!!! by Adebayo4christ: 4:15pm On Jun 16, 2018
yettymuse:
Your wife needs a JOB! Only an idle mind has time for such nonsense. If she's stucked in a 5hours traffic returning home after a tedious productive day, she won't have time for radarada!
.

she teaches in her mum's school and she has refused to leave there o.
Re: Help!!! by OmoAlata1(f): 5:43pm On Jun 16, 2018
Op, I blame you for all these nonsense that you are going through. See me, I have a very strong personality, so I can never ever be with a man that I can overpower bc I can never respect him at all. I need a man who can put me in my place when I overstep my boundary,not an abuser, but a manly man. I am an alpha woman so I like alpha man.

You are in a reverse relationship, you are the woman and your wife is a man. You have given her too much control and too much power. Until you start acting like a man and putting up some boundaries, my dear I pray that you will not die of high bp or stroke before then. If you are just naturally soft and you can’t set boundary without fear, please leave the marriage. Because you can never get upper hand again until you do something drastic. No prayers, bible verses, vigils will solve this. You are the wife and your wife is the husband. She knows this and she will use it to the fullest. Marriage is not by force, you only get one life. This relationship has cost you the death of your father, are you waiting for your mother’s turn?

1 Like

Re: Help!!! by Evacroft: 5:54pm On Jun 16, 2018
Haha,mfm madam. That is what pple feel when they see a woman without earrings or makeup,thinking this person will make me happy cos she goes to church or pray. Nah! Not all.
Why will ur wife dictate when to see ur parents,it aint her fault its urs,u dnt value them enough so she in turn doesnt care . As much as men should cleave to their wives and love them doesnt mean they should stop caring bout their parent or abandon them. Go and put flowers on ur fathers grave,ask him for forgiveness,ask God for forgiveness,and forgive ur wife,meanwhile forgiving ur wife doesnt mean u should allow such pettiness from her again. Communicate how u feel bout the way she's acting towards ur parents. Then ur healing will start,depression is bad.
Re: Help!!! by JoannaSedley(f): 6:15pm On Jun 16, 2018
Both you and your wife are obviously possessed with the demons you pray against, if not, why all this?

And you sound so needy. Ain't nobody going to tell me when to visit my parents. The person must be high on something very potent to utter a negative response when I raise such issue.

1 Like

Re: Help!!! by Restroom: 7:28pm On Jun 16, 2018
Adebayo4christ:


But if I may ask,

what are 5 things she complains about you often?

What does she nag about you?
You can't tell me you are free of fault in all these. If we say make we ask your wife wetin dey Shelley, wetin she go yan?







bro, God sees my heart and God will judge me if everything u listed here , I have mot done them. I will leave my office during break just to come to her mum's school to ch3ck on her. buy food, drinks, I prefer not to have than for her to be in wants. do u know d reason I was asking for car then on uber thread, it was all to please her so we won't have to be jumping from one bus to f other all the time. what again does she wants. since we got married ,I have been the one washing my clothes by myself, or I take them to dry cleaners, I wash plates, cooks, sweeps, what again does she wants. someone adviced me on this thread that I should take it as if am staying at home alone, won't I do all this things myself.
she has taking me to be a weakling and I agreed I am. all because I never saw my dad matters my mum, I grew up learning from my dad who cooks for us alot of times bfr my mum was transferred back to lag. I am a weakling. she has taking advantage of that.

The five things she complain about me are:

my parents
2, my parents
3, my parents
4, my parents calling us to check on us.
5, that am not too spiritual like I was bfr we married and I explained to her, that with all get attiude, it's difficult for me to pray with me

If you have been doing all these things and she nor dey appreciate you, my brother it shows that she is blind

You are a good guy
continue to do your job as husband
If she like make she appreciate
if she like make she nor appreciate
na her problem be dat

it is unfortunate
you have such a bitch for wife

Keep praying for her to change
it won't happen overnight

make sure you don't change to a bad person
that is my wishes

and please stop giving urself headache about her bad character
na her character
no be your own

if she nor value as a great guy

that does not diminish your huge value
na because she blind

so stop worrying about what she does, says or don't say

keep the focus on you and your mom
care for yourself
care for your mom

it is your job to make yourself happy
it is your job to take good care of your self

it is not your job to make her happy
but it is your job to care for her as her husband
happiness is choice

don't let her infect you with her unhappiness and madness.

Live like a normal person

If caring for your mom makes her mad, then make she dey mad by caring more for her

If she make life too uncomfortable for you...well....is separate from her for one year
and go live your life happily as a temporary bachelor.
Don't get Hi bp because of her matter

instead of developing mental problem because of her, separate from her
Re: Help!!! by Restroom: 7:37pm On Jun 16, 2018
Adebayo4christ:


But if I may ask,

what are 5 things she complains about you often?

What does she nag about you?
You can't tell me you are free of fault in all these. If we say make we ask your wife wetin dey Shelley, wetin she go yan?







bro, God sees my heart and God will judge me if everything u listed here , I have mot done them. I will leave my office during break just to come to her mum's school to ch3ck on her. buy food, drinks, I prefer not to have than for her to be in wants. do u know d reason I was asking for car then on uber thread, it was all to please her so we won't have to be jumping from one bus to f other all the time. what again does she wants. since we got married ,I have been the one washing my clothes by myself, or I take them to dry cleaners, I wash plates, cooks, sweeps, what again does she wants. someone adviced me on this thread that I should take it as if am staying at home alone, won't I do all this things myself.
she has taking me to be a weakling and I agreed I am. all because I never saw my dad matters my mum, I grew up learning from my dad who cooks for us alot of times bfr my mum was transferred back to lag. I am a weakling. she has taking advantage of that.

The five things she complain about me are:

my parents
2, my parents
3, my parents
4, my parents calling us to check on us.
5, that am not too spiritual like I was bfr we married and I explained to her, that with all get attiude, it's difficult for me to pray with me

If you have been doing all these things and she nor dey appreciate you, my brother it shows that she is blind

You are a good guy
continue to do your job as husband
If she like make she appreciate
if she like make she nor appreciate
na her problem be dat

it is unfortunate
you have such a bitch for wife

Keep praying for her to change
it won't happen overnight

make sure you don't change to a bad person
that is my wishes

and please stop giving urself headache about her bad character
na her character
no be your own

if she nor value you as a great guy

that does not diminish your huge value
na because she blind

so stop worrying about what she does, says or don't say

keep the focus on you and your mom
care for yourself
care for your mom

it is your job to make yourself happy
it is your job to take good care of your self

it is not your job to make her happy
but it is your job to care for her as her husband
happiness is a choice
you can't choose it for her
don't let her infect you with her unhappiness and madness.

Live like a normal person

If caring for your mom makes her mad, then make she dey mad by caring more for your mom

If she make life too uncomfortable for you...well....separate from her for one month
and go live your life happily as a temporary bachelor.

during that period, send her money and other things you know she needs through someone

Don't get Hi bp because of her matter

instead of developing mental problem because of her, separate from her

Just walk out of her life if she is giving you stress and go put up with your mom for that one month....since she dey hug her mom

make you too dey hug your mom

na only she get mama?

Go and stay with your mom for one month...to calm your mind down. Go to work from there
Re: Help!!! by adebayour26: 6:58am On Jun 17, 2018
Restroom:

Put all of them in prayer

If her prayer is for your mom to kick bucket pray against it

In situations like this

Prayer is the key
Ask God for wisdom everyday in prayer
Though ur username sounds funny but I must say your comment is a good one. Coz it appears there's more to dis case than what we can physically judge.
Re: Help!!! by sisisioge: 7:30am On Jun 17, 2018
Oh my! Op's subsequent comments is making me so afraid for him and of the wahala he's gotten into. All these born against troublesome women that hide under the veil of Christianity and still perpetrate evil sef! It is well o.

OP, can you just leave her alone there without going to mark register at all? The next time she waltz in, have a heart to heart with her. If she refuses to listen, then turn it to the riot act for her...no go violent o but let her know you are the head of the family. Don't be afraid, don't go sissy...you need to sheer this you family to the right direction. May God help you.
Re: Help!!! by Triniti(m): 3:58pm On Jun 17, 2018
This is what happens when parents don’t allow their kids see life from a different perspective other than the churchy way, you problem is the way you were brought up not to offend anyone. You now have to seek permission from your wife to go see your aging parents who lives not far from you, you either man up or continue living in the shadow of your wife
Re: Help!!! by Nobody: 4:38pm On Jun 17, 2018
adebayour26:

Though ur username sounds funny but I must say your comment is a good one. Coz it appears there's more to dis case than what we can physicallly judge.

Asin toilet head
Re: Help!!! by donigspain(m): 11:45pm On Jun 17, 2018
You need therapy man. Seriously, you need to see a qualified therapist.

The truth is, your wife may be innocent of all these accusations and you are just conjuring things: making harmless opinions of hers seems like opposition attacks.

Which sensible woman would want to relinquish the comfort of her matrimonial privacy to go live in her MIL's house?

Visit your mum regularly, get her a helper if need be, stock her home with foodstuff if you got the resources, and give her some pocket money. Simple!

Don't go and live with her. You've got your own home to manage; manage it like a man too!

Stamp your authority. Be firm yet understandable.
Re: Help!!! by munas: 5:03am On Jun 18, 2018
Joephat:
I would have advised you not to commit suicide but the truth is that, Thats the only option left for you now.


Rest in peace in Advance

You are an IDIOT...a FOOL....a DEVIL.

Se what you are telling a man that is mourning.God will sure punish you and your miserable life.
Your type are surposed to be in a mental facility.Animal in human skin
Re: Help!!! by Joephat(m): 5:57am On Jun 18, 2018
munas:


You are an IDIOT...a FOOL....a DEVIL.

Se what you are telling a man that is mourning.God will sure punish you and your miserable life.
Your type are surposed to be in a mental facility.Animal in human skin


Baba why not catch the fun and go ?

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