Stop generalizing and saying what you don't know.

spiritedtete:


Aunty look here Forget those fairy tale marriages.... it's get boring as time goes on... however... after another 20 25 years... you will be glad you married your so called brother.

If you are looking for fulfilment in marriage then you are in the wrong place.

What makes you happy is you become the person you have always wanted to be. Marriage or no marriage.


And yes if it is sex that is the problem.... you can talk and walk your hubby on it... but believe me most marriages loses its sex drive after two years...
Then maybe after find away to reconnect. Maybe

sweetmelanin:



We are new in marriage. Would love to have children but poor sex life is a hindrance.

And NO i am not cheating.

Nope, poor sex life is not the problem, the problem is ignorance and deceit.

Great sex don't make babies, the requirements for making babies are; fertile sper.ms, functional ovaries and a calendar.

There are inherent problems you've refused to say. There is no way a guy and a lady will laugh and eat together and still proceed to sleep on the same bed without sex.

In my world, IT IS NOT POSSIBLE, even cousins sleep together these days.

Amberon11:
Stop generalizing and saying what you don't know.

I know this.. 100% and i am not generalizing.

"Loads" don't know what it takes to be married.

Bring 10 marriages and ask tell them what I stated ... 9 will go with me. Not just Nigeria but the world

what exactly are you unhappy with.? be specific before I dissect it.. everyone is not happy either.. that is if you are in NIGERIA..

Ohhh odiegwu. He's not battering you. Not starving you. Just lack of sexual appetite you want divorce. I never knew marriage is now seen as mere boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that you Can easily leave cos of slight reasons.


Hanty u never talk true. Somebody somewhere don dey cut u eye

How many years is the marriage

sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.

you are not alone ! Marriages in Nigeria are mainly out of desperation and convenience. You have just voiced out - most people just keep quiet and manage !

Guitarlife:
OP please how old are you ?
And do you have a mother ? Have you discussed this with her and what did she say ?

Personally I feel sorry for your husband. Our mothers went through hell to keep their homes. Some even endured domestic violence and you want to walk out of a marriage because you are suffering from a mood swing ?

May this kind of woman never cross my path lord ......

happiness is obviously not that important to you ! Some people place happiness over what society thinks - to each his own !

No

I wish I had your type as a wife. No nagging, no quarrels, no oppositions, wow!

All you need now is to spice up your marriage.
1. Get to watch romantic movies together.
2. Visit the cinema together, or find a cool hangout together. Don't stay indoors too much.
3. Watch "blue film" together.
4. Stop hiding your unclothedness from him, bath naked together.
5. If you can, sometimes get a bottle of 1℅ alcoholic drink I.e star radler. Get high a little.
6. Dress and UnCloth in his presence.
7. Get dirty jokes, come out of your shell. Get dirty sometimes I.e a husband asked d wife y she's fond of wearing his boxers, the wife said ," it because I love u". The next minute the husband went and wore the wife's pant to prove his love too. Lol

Twoclans:
I see alot of married women that are very unhappy this days .I don't think anyone deserves to wake up everyday to such misery .

@ OP maybe you need to stay away from each other for a while and find new hobbies that can make you happy .

Good observation. Same as men. I think those deep rooted issues became pronounced this buhari economic era. I also feel the spirits are holding out a mirror for us to reconsider our motives towards marriage.

sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.

Madame, can I just ask you two questions.
1. Are you saying you are not sexually attracted to your Husband?
2.Just be honest, do you mean you do not find him attractive?

rOsy247:
Ohhh odiegwu. He's not battering you. Not starving you. Just lack of sexual appetite you want divorce. I never knew marriage is now seen as mere boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that you Can easily leave cos of slight reasons.


Hanty u never talk true. Somebody somewhere don dey cut u eye

I had this thought too. Somebody somewhere don dey cut her eye

But I also another issue is, Ladies just go with who so ever is ready at the moment & then when they now eventually see the kind of Guy they really want, their attitude will change.

sweetmelanin:
I see my husband more like a brother than a lover. We laugh, crack jokes and hold similar world views. BUT theres no sexual chemistry. I find it difficult to get aroused by him. There is a deep sense of unfulfillment and unhappiness.
I wonder how long I can cope with a marriage without passion.

I suspect this was a marriage of convenience. You got blinded by material things. Carry your cross

ur husband is now in the friend zone

I thought they say we shuu marry our best friend? Orisirisi

unmask:
Divorce immediately.....let him be a brother to you shikena

Why would you encourage divorce instead of you to be a solution provider? What goes around comes around. I believe many that said divorce are divorced or at the verge of divorce. Critical case needs a critical problem solving personality.

sweetmelanin:



We mistook our fondness for each other to mean love

And u didn't test the waters before taking a plunge? *If u know, u know*

chinnyonwu:
I thought they say we shuu marry our best friend?
Orisirisi

Forget about that bull shlt people always say.

Daeylar:
Some mothers suffered domestic violence and they stayed just to keep a miserable worthless home is what you to preaching for her?


How can a sane human being see enduring domestic Violence in marriage just to keep a godforsaken home as a good thing. And take it a step further by trying to use it to preach to a woman as a reason to keep a home?

Very Sadistic


I can see happiness doesn't matter to you, keeping the home at the expense of your mental and physical health is the most important thing to you.

And you even think you can pick and choose what woman can cross your path?.

Mtcheewww

May no woman ever cross your path until you change this miserable mindset.
Rubbish.

[s][/s]

Op, please read the young woman post instead of reacting...

1. The relationship is not abusive
2. They have fun together
3. They talk well
The only excuse here is No Chemistry.
Sorry sister this excuse is not tenable in the institution call marriage.

Have a wonderful week ahead.

It's better to work it out, as far your already in the union, the only way you could opt out is if either of you commits adultery, in which I pray either of you don't, because it could be grave consequences to the one who commits such... So rather than, being unhappy, it's a choice by you to know what to do to make it happy, pray, ask God, read the scriptures, ask the Holy Spirit (his your counselor) He'll direct you the path you can follyto have a happy marriage, it's an assurance.

Seek professional counselling,shikena,dnt give up on ur marriage for a problem that can be fixed

u may not realize how lucky u have to have a brotherly relationship wih ur hubby.b careful.quietly Bleep one or two guys u really want to Bleep that is making u say all these nonsense and resume ur marriage squarely.

Is happiness a good reason for marriage?

Amarachi melanin, continue we are watching u

if she divorce her husband will that bring happiness try to grow love

I don’t understand how you laugh and crack jokes but yet there’s no happiness.

ZombieTAMER:
It's a damn good reason


In this life.... We have only one assignment

That's the pursuit of happiness

You go pursue tire...lol.

hmm

But oyibo are not or did not institute marriage. God is the originator. Therefore, follow his precepts.

dominique:
Yes, I think oyinbo people call it irreconcilable differences