hi hi

Honey , pls be honest ,who do u actually have in mind? And why?

joycexz:

I have a boyfriend whom i have dated for almost 3 years now and i actually like him alot because he is caring but the age difference between us is really far and he is from a place i think my parents will disapprove. He has asked me to marry him but there is this case of him not having a job at the moment, though he says he is working on some things but i don't see any result.

Ok one after the other. Presently his faults are:

1. The age difference (I take it he's older than you by as much as 10 years coz anything below that is immaterial)
2. He comes from an undesirable place (Is he an osu or you're igbo and he's hausa or tiv?)
3.He is unemployed (this the most dangerous part, especially if he's more than 28 years old)

And there is this other guy who i met on the internet about 4 years ago and we have always been friends and we keep in touch though he expressed interests in me but i didnt actually agree to it because i have not met him and i felt internet dating is crap.

Secondly Internet dating is far from being crap/rubbish. It all depends on luck, intent and seriousness on both parties.

I'm telling you coz, i myself met the love of my life online and you wont believe how far we've taken it and will still take it!

Early last year the second guy came in to the country and he is really cool and he is seriously asking me to marry him but i don't know what to do with my boyfriend because we are still dating. I actually don't know which of them i love. I wish i could just pick one out of both of them. please i need advice.

Thankfully, the 2nd guy (internet-based) came into the country and you still found out that you have same, if not more, affection as when you guys only talk online. Does that tell you anything about compartibility, bet it does!

Again, he is serious about marrying you. You dont know which of them you love?. Joyc, i have to tell you the naked truth.

Marriage is not all about love anymore. A lot of other things comes into play. You have to think deep and beyond the horizon.

If you believe deep within you that you love this internet guy and you are willing the spend the rest of ya life with him, then i say, go for it?!

Try and make the 1st guy understand that you still love him and all but you gotta move on. Let the separation be smooth and nice.

Like i always say, you are your best counsellor. You know exactly where yu wanna go and wat yu wanna do!. we can only offer some lil advices now and then!

C'mon, Its ya life! Enjoy it babe and dont allow sentiments becloud your sense of reasoning!

Girl, please listen well to your heart and do not be deceived by appearances!! Why would it matter how u met the guy? If you have feelings for him, then go for it! Actually, what is there good in your present relationship? as I saw you only enumerated negative aspects! Doesn't that give you a sign? I think it's impossible not to know who is best for you!

ugodaniel:

Secondly Internet dating is far from being crap/rubbish. It all depends on luck, intent and seriousness on both parties.
I'm telling you because, i myself met the love of my life online and you wont believe how far we've taken it and will still take it!

That is so true hun!!
I also love you soooo much and I thank God every day that I met you!! muahhh

@ Darling

this decision is for you alone, and no other person would take it for you. The advice we give you might be wrong or right, its just our own personal opinion but its your future we're talking about so do give yourself more time to think things over

Now many people here have given you reasons to love the internet-guy and dear he might just be the one for you but before taking that decision, think about this

this other guy, you said you've dated for three years? are you trying to tell me you didn't love him, that you just "liked"  him?.
Did you stop loving him when the Internet-guy started making his intentions known?
could it be that you suddenly stopped loving the first guy because of what you think the internet-guy can do for you? you did mention that the first guy doesn't have a job at the moment.

Did you suddenly start seeing faults in your relationship because you think he's not good enough?

Honey you dated for three years and all along you've been living with the age difference but yet it wasn't a problem

i agree with Ugodaniels, i also have an opinion that 10yrs age diff. is maximal

have you known all this while that you don't have a future with him but yet you led him on? if that is the case then you weren't fair to the guy at all. And if that is the case, the sooner you talked things over with him, the better. It is unfair to hold someone's future in your hands and play with it

If deep down you feel this other guy is right for you, you did say that you guys have seen each other, and that the feelings you felt on line was still there. Then you just have to take a chance dear. Only a fortune teller would be able tell you what would happen in either cases but dear Before making any commitments, visit his family because there is a saying that goes: show me your friends and i'll tell you who you are

it would help you know if he actually is who he claims to be, if yes, then the sky is your limit


Heres's a true life story, read it patiently:
A girl was dating a guy, they had dated since they were kids. The guy had stood by her through thick and thin.
During their university days, he would go to any level to defend her, he was always there for her.
They graduated, got jobs and were doing well. Just when the guy started proposing marriage, she ran into another guy whom was a total opposite of her boyfiend
All of a sudden she started seeing a 1001 faults to her relationship.
Infact this guy was her dream guy, afterall he wasn't half as boring as her other boyfriend
So she started dating the new guy, humiliating and insulting the first guy on different occasions.

Only to finally find out that this guy was already married with kids. Hence he seemed the right man, but wasn't

Darling, be careful and Good luck

Our adage says n i translate:

'He/she who wears a shoe, knows where it pinches d most'

gal, sit down and do some good thinking,

dat dis oda guy has come around 4rm God knws where, sounds funnie,

B sure he doesnt already ave a family where he is coming 4rm sef, n cos dis ur guy of 3yrs has nothing 4 now doesnt make him a losser especially, if he is hardworking,

like ma dad wld say, 'ur future is in urs hands'

I read all the responses and thanks, i really do appreciate them, firstly the first guy lied about his age cos i remember when i met him and i asked him he said he was 28 which was true and i found out much much later that he was older than that. i have never really loved him and he always knew that, though i felt with time i would grow to love him. I've also tried to break the relationship several times but he wont let go. Its not like am just seeing all the negative sides in the relationship but i've known all along that it was going to work and i've always try to let go.

As for the internet guy, i've met him and some members of his family cos they live close to me and they are kool people, i like them and i think they like me too. I really appreciate your responses but i still have to think real hard so i dont make a mistake i would regret much later in life.

@ joycexz darl

These are the things you should have included in your first post dear but all the same

tell this first guy that he really really has to let go ooh, i bet if you tell him you've met someone else that you "might" want to spend the rest of your life with, maybe he'll wake up to reality and start looking for his future wife before its too late

You might have a future with this other guy, if you know his family the way you claim and you're sure he dosen't have any "skeletons in his cupboard"

who says you can't find love/hapiness on line??

if it proves anything, my cousin fell in love with this guy over the phone through the guy's brother who was a very very good  friend of my cousin, when they finally met she was kind of dissappointed with his looks
but before she made that step out the door, she thought to hersel: "i fell in love with the guy, not his looks"
Today they're as happy as a couple gets

every man with his/her own destiny. Follow your heart sweetie and let no one make you believe otherwise because you're the one that will live with it at the end of the day

Take care of u

who says you can't find love/hapiness on line??

Absolutely correct. My dear! Its very very true to find a love online and for both of you to take it to the next level, _{am a living witness}

From all indications, you're going ahead with this[b] internet guy[/b]. Do not relent.

As for the first guy, just like Cute-ass said, let him know in a polite and smooth manner that he has to let you go. _{No hard feelings}

First !!!

This is to every young guy in a relationship!!DO NOT BE WITH A GIRL THAT DOES NOT SHARE YOUR DREAMS !! SHE WOULD JUST BE WAISTING YOUR GADDEM TIME!!

Women are selfish in nature,you can spend on your girl Friend when she is need and in the future She will tell you that u were stupid not to have invested !! and who knows leaves you for another, But we just can't do with out them can we,damm sweet things !!!

The simple question i want to ask joy is this,were would you be now if the internet,or computer guy or what ever had not come into the subject ?

If you never wanted the first guy why lead him on,you should have ended the damm!! thing ever since,you are gonna hurt this guy real bad !!! Its not a matter of being polite or not.

Did you ever think that the first guy could have meet better and richer girls in the course of the relationship,and yet ignored becos he believed in what he felt for you? humm, humm, humm

PARADOX:

THE POVERTY THAT HAS STRICKEN THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES,NIGERIA BEING ONE OF THEM HAS AFFECTED OUR PHYSCOLOGICAL THINKING,ECONOMICALLY AND OTHER WISE.OUR WOMEN HAVE BEEN SERIOUSLY AFFECTED BY THIS,MAKING OUR CONCEPTION OF LOVE ,LIFE AND MONEY,SO MISCONSTRUED THAT IT ONLY TAKES DIVINE INTRUSION TO GET US TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING.

MONEY LOVE POVERTY NEEDS = CONFUSION TO THE MANY LOT WE JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS,FOR THIS PART OF THE WORLD IS ALL ABOUT SURVIVING.

If the first guy was rich She would not remember he lied about his age,or the fact that Her feeling for him was not really strong,bottom line most of our girls these days have ended up marrying the guys ,they never loved.People just don't have to be synical about these things,we all just trying to satify our selves as long as we are being favoured and that is typical Nigeria.

Joy its your choice,your world,and your life do what is right listen to your heart I know its telling you some thing,I will not decide for you,all I have simply done is analytical.

Good luck girl!!you have a good heart perhaps thats why you asking for advise and help.

Bless ya

fabulous10:

i belive u are being selfish and unfair o your firt guy. i dnt think u deserve him at all. simply because he has no job,is it fault that things are not working out 4 him. he migth be trying but things may not be working out 4 him.

Please, don't make me laugh! Even when I was 16 (with no qualification) I still found a job! If you want work, you get work! If you say you won't accept any job that pays less than so so amount and it only requires to do very easy things, then my friend, you have a problem! It's not his fault?!?! You must be kidding! Then who's fault is it? Don't tell me, I know, it's, the destiny!!! Oh give me a break. The guy sounds so irresponsible and you so take his side!

secondly, i don't even believe in internet relationship. they don't work.i know some cases when the guy comes down and just take advantage the girl.

Well you don't believe in it cuz it never happened to you!! That doesn't mean it doesn't work for anyone! But it's like that old proverb: if the fox can't get to the grapes, it'll just say 'they were sour anyway!'. Actually I am happily married now and I met my hubby online, so please, next time refrain yourself from generalizing!

[s]white nkem, [/s]

i'm realy suprise that girls like u can give their fellow girls such a bad advice. if u had a brother and his girlfriend jilts him over another guy, how would feel.  joyce said that she realy did not love him 'HABA", and dated him 4 3yrs ,was this before she agreed going out with him or after . and was it before she agreed to flite with the other guy. where i come from there is this saying that, it is better for u not eat outside or else u will find out wat u are eating at home is rubbish . joyce has eating out and now realises that she actually do not her guy. how sad.

white Nkem, simply because u met ur guy on d internet, doesnt mean that internet dateing works. Go and check the statistics ,u will find out how many relationship has actually worked through the internet. only then will u know dat 80% are heart broken,u better wake up and realise that all that glitters is not gold.

BADCHRIS:

white nkem,
it is better for u not eat outside or else u will find out what u are eating at home is rubbish . joyce has eating out and now realizes that she actually do not her guy. how sad.

So u'r telling me it's better to eat rubbish and not to know, just cuz it's cheaper? Well honestly now, I prefer to have the information that what i eat is rubbish and correct it! don't tell me that u'd better not watch tv cuz u see there that you don't live in a safe world, so u'd rather not use the information and live in a fantasy! _{if u get my point}

white Nkem, simply because u met your guy on d internet, doesnt mean that internet dateing works. Go and check the statistics ,u will find out how many relationship has actually worked through the internet. only then will u know that 80% are heart broken,u better wake up and realise that all that glitters is not gold.

And what about the other 20%? If you'd have told me that 99% of the girls turn out to be heartbroken, then yes, maybe that's not a chance to take; but 20% seems a lot to me! Did u ever hear about the saying: "no risk no win"? How small are the chances to win the jackpot?? I'm telling you - a lot less than 20% and there are millions of people who still gamble and guess what? Some actually win! S as long as there is a chance to be successful, then I'd always say go for it! Life itself is a risk. It all depends on how wise and balanced you are!

so which one u later get marry to btw them?

joycexz:
I read all the responses and thanks, i really do appreciate them, firstly the first guy lied about his age cos i remember when i met him and i asked him he said he was 28 which was true and i found out much much later that he was older than that. i have never really loved him and he always knew that, though i felt with time i would grow to love him. I've also tried to break the relationship several times but he wont let go. Its not like am just seeing all the negative sides in the relationship but i've known all along that it was going to work and i've always try to let go.

As for the internet guy, i've met him and some members of his family cos they live close to me and they are kool people, i like them and i think they like me too. I really appreciate your responses but i still have to think real hard so i dont make a mistake i would regret much later in life.

BITTCCCHH...you never really loved him but you led him on for 3 good yrs?

SIGNS YOU ARE STILL IN LOVE WITH YOUR EX

Take a look at this list of signs that you are not over your ex, and find out if you really are about him, or not ...

1. You get caught almost texting him


For many women, erasing their phone number is the best option. But you can know it by heart. What kind of defeats the whole purpose.

I mean really, how many times have you written a long and sincere message - only to think about it later and decide to eliminate it?

Or worse ... in a moment of irrationality, send it to him?

If you are still thinking of him enough to write messages to him and send jolts of emotion through you, it means that you are not on him.

You will overcome it over time, but for now you will have to concentrate on yourself.


2. You want him to see you
If you come to places on purpose because you know he will be there, that is a huge sign that you are still not over on him.
Even if you go to a party that you know is going to be with another guy to try to make him jealous, all you're going to do is end up getting sad when you see him feeling happy.

The only way to overcome this temptation is to keep yourself occupied in your own life and not try to be where you are or be seen by him.

Otherwise, you are just taking the break and taking more and more time to overcome it.

READ MORE AT www.busygisting.com
follow on IG @busygisting

Doesnt matter which one you choose you will probably cheat with the other.

joycexz:
I have a boyfriend whom i have dated for almost 3 years now and i actually like him alot cos he is caring but the age difference between us is really far and he is from a place i think my parents will disapprove. He has asked me to marry him but there is this case of him not having a job at the moment, though he says he is working on some things but i dont see any result.

And there is this other guy who i met on the internet about 4 years ago and we have always been friends and we keep in touch though he expressed interests in me but i didnt actually agree to it cos i have not met him and i felt internet dating is crap.

Early last year the second guy came in to the country and he is really cool and he is seriously asking me to marry him but i dont know what to do with my boyfriend cos we are still dating. I actually dont know which of them i love. I wish i could just pick one out of both of them. please i need advice.