Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Moderators please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.

He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.

He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this.

He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

Why complain if he will fund your expensive lifestyle?

If you can't adapt to his lifestyle, share his name and phone number here. Several girls will gladly adapt in a heartbeat.

What do women want sef?

prettysassygirl:
I also dated someone like that,who couldn't sit at a place and loved to party,he wanted me to wear extremely skimpy things,to cut my jeans etc,and I am a not so reserved but I wasn't brought up with such a lifestyle. We almost got married too but we broke up four months to the supposed wedding. I am happy today I didn't marry him,he would have probably taken me away from my faith which is of utmost importance to me. But I Also believe there are certain things one ought to change after getting married, as a lady or as a guy cos u are going to be living with someone from an utterly different background and ideology. So I advise that u weigh your options ,no one can decide this better than u,analyse the situation and think with your head not your heart. Pray about it also then pls and pls make the right decision, marriage ain't childplay.

Are you a Witness?

Sorry to say this, by the reason of monikers and som e local languages in each comment, I have come to know the tribe with the highest advice of " don't lose him are you mad"
"your village ppl dey follow you" " You be Mumu"


Why must ppl worship money so tey that at the mention of money their reasoning faculty starts malfunctioning.

For Gods sake Money is not the only source of happiness, so if this lady can't cope let her leave the guy. Heaven won't fall and she might still end up marrying a guy as rich or even richer.

Where Dangote money reach thats where Bill Gates own start.

It is sure she won't have happiness in the marriage and it's wiser she leaves the relationship.

Heaven won't fall

This is spot on.

ibkayee:
It’s important not to lose your identity when you’re in a relationship so I won’t say change yourself for him, however a little compromising won’t hurt, this is part of what relationships are about. Sit him down and talk about your concerns, suggest meeting each other half way i.e. rather than a makeup artist, find a look that is neither overboard, nor too plain, same for your outfits. Tell him you don’t want to go to every single event, but don’t stay at home every single time, go every now and then.

Only serious thing you’ve mentioned is the fact that he brings people into your private business tbh, tell him it’s violating your trust and it isn’t healthy for your relationship. Only time any of you should be talking to others about your marital issues is if you’re in genuine danger.

If you don’t think you can compromise however and it makes you that uncomfortable maybe call it quits, some people just aren’t compatible

SmartMugu:
If you can't adapt to his lifestyle, share his name and phone number here. Several girls will gladly adapt in a heartbeat.

And that might be such girls worst decision in life. The Rich also Cries

Many of the Divorce are Rich men divorce, the poor even have lasting marriages. Money can't buy happiness.

itsmeurLady:
Op for your own good, marry a man that you have to seek God to find him because from what u are saying, u are modest and he is not. He is an extrovert and you are the opposite. Lately, some Men are starting to go for ladies like you because they feel they want a homely girl and not slay queens, someone reserved but the bitter truth is most of them (men) are not ready to be reserved. I have seen men that buys extravagant things for their wives just because they want her to look like a slayer but end up going outside their matrimonial home to meet the real slayers just because their wives can't meet up with the kind of lifestyle. So my advice save yourself the trauma of praying against small girls with big god and define what u want in your man. Sit him down and talk to him about your personality and study him thereafter. Marriage no be child's play, if you are having doubts about him that means there is a probability that he is not the one for you. Forget that he is from a rich home, in fact ignore all the flashy things and ask yourself wat u want. Money is not everything! Think, pray, fast if you have to, get clear directions from God before you enter marriage with that young Man.

So Far reading...
I think i will go with this advice from itsmeurLady
But let me add..Are you a christian then read Prov. 30:7-9..think it will suffice..

donstan18:
It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

this opinion of yours is a very bad opinion

are people in marriage for love or for financial gain

so basically she should lose her sense of reasoning because she is married to a rich guy

every body priority is different in life.if he truely loves her he wont allow other girls to take him and he will listen to her about flauntng

i think it is childish for you to flaunt your wealth,if she wanna be modest,nothing stopping her from be who she wanna be.

@OP Abeg give me his number

hmmm

Acidosis:
You're certainly going to regret this union.

Better don't allow the poor-man-mentality comments on this thread confuse you. Being a reserved and conservative person has nothing to do with wealth.

His actions are a result of his personality (not his money). Take away that wealth today, he'll still borrow to impress people, na so extroverted money miss road people dey do.

Don't force it, no one should force you to do what you wouldn't do on your own discretion. Love with your head and be calculative. Love should not make you go to the extreme. Listen to the comments on this thread at your own peril.

May God bless you real good!

Be there and watch small girls with big God take over your man.. Be happy you've found yourself such a man.. Remember! Such man is another woman's dream.

I can totally relate dis sisters post. similar issue happened in ma church couple of years back. d sister was very reserved in d nature. she was everything he wants in a woman except DAT she wouldn't wia trousers wen he's taking her out or wen his friends r around, she wouldn't alter her virgin hair for anything cos she doesn't feel comfortable in it. is little is it looked, oda issues soon started generating from dis, church and family couldn't reconcile dem cos man was really full of life so deh opted for a divorce. so poster, pls think well if u should continue or not

OP, the problem you guys are a having is a clash of personalities and to some extent backgrounds. He is an extrovert while you are an introvert. Your fiance isn't immature. He's just used to a certain lifestyle and wants you to be part of his world. Both of you have to decide if there is a middle ground in your relationship, otherwise there will be a lot of conflict if you proceed with the marriage. This is why it is important to be with someone within your circle/level.

People fail to understand that simplicity is a choice and not necessarily as a result of penury. That she chose to live a simple lifestyle does not mean she is poor.

Op... I think you should talk with him, not 'to' him on this issue. Both of you can make amends. It is no big deal, what attracted him was not your physical appearance. I just think he wants u to measure up with the look of his friends' babes and wives!

There is nothing wrong with preferring to stay at home, but know as well that u should not be worried with his movements in the course of time.

U are a lady, u know the best time to do the talking.

nikkyshyne:
@OP Abeg give me his number

Small girl with big god

GOFRONT:


See the kind dude wen slayqueens dey find, na him God giv u and u no wan adapt, u wan dull him.....

Wait until Slayqueens get hold of that your man.....

U tink say guys no get sense?

Dey al do al sorts of sh*t wit slayqueens, Then wen its tym to marry....dey wil look for a decent intelligent girl.

Hw many slayqueens wey u knw wey sabi book?? Apart frm dressing lyk karishika n party al nite, travel frm one town to another.

its funny reading all what most people are saying .


Not all rich or well to do folks behave like how the Op describe. some like to be indoors, minding their business and not talking to anyone. even for days , some just like the simple lifestyle of not putting out all for all too see. no partying or clubbing, fear of being robbed or mobbed. You just met a guy who just like to show off not necessarily because he is wealthy. some guys just prefer showing to world the kinda of woman he has or probably her beauty.


You just met someone who doesn't match up to your type of personality which is a bad sign. it will create friction between you two and how you guys have stayed this long without conflict is mind boggling

Quit if you can't cope. Life is as easy as that. Except you can learn to slay the way he wants. You know what you want.

Your setup!dity Need help... Common marry him!

Are u a c0w


JoelsBlog Media

JoelsBlog Media

JoelsBlog Media

JoelsBlog Media

If you can't cope, why don't you leave and allow the young man have rest of mind. Women are just insatiable, you spend on them, wahala, you don't spend, trouble. It's either you are timid or you are yet to liberate yourself from mental poverty. The young man is only asking you to look good for him, how is that a problem.

Girl! I think l understand you. See, l also think he likes you cos u are not slay girls and that you are not after his wealth. He would av noticed all ds good attributes of urs. My advice for u is don't change who you are and don't leave him. He has weakness accepted, but wt patient and proper tone, u can change him. Don't let it sound like he has bad life style, it wl amount to you judging him. Av u ever wondered why he chose u and not hundreds of slay queen out there! It's cos u are priceless and seen as wife material to him. Mind u that not all Ur attributes wl be right also, so be ready to bend a little. After bending, let him understand it's cos u love him and then use style to talk to him as per other things u want him to change. Don't be resistance and expect him to listen to you. God bless u in Ur journey.

ImaIma1:


And you think he won't bend for her too.

She has to make an effort...whether party of other stuff.

I follow my hubby to watch him play ball most Saturday mornings. I might want to sleep but i go because it could be his way of bonding.

I watch football...other sports(infact i am watching Wimbledon at the moment).

But when i want to do my own stuff, he has to do it with me too.

So it is not about slay anything.

If she is not feeling him, she should shift for someone that will.

I guess we read different stuffs 'cause from what I read, there wasn't any part that implied that he tried to adapt a bit to her standard. Why does he always force his opinions on her? The type of dress to put on, makeup type and the rest.

If he 'bends' for her, she won't be feeling suffocated in the relationship. The fiancé is control freak. My way or no way.

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Moderators please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.

He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.

He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this.

He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

So u expected him to allow u to look like Mgbeke ogboju girl and be following him upandan??

eezeribe:

That's why I always encourage my fellow men from rich families to stop dating or marrying girls from poorer homes because the reverse is rarely the case...
Op, I will advise you to break up with him and look for a young man within your social and financial class...
You are a very modest person, and as such, you need to cut your coat according to your size and material.

Thats not a good advice bro, not all people from rich family behave the same. Stop blaming the lady, she is a disciplined person and want to live a decent life. My wife dont like make ups or going for clubs but i am ok with it.

lilyheaven:

You most be an introvert.
Extroverts never change, ordinary child dedication they will turn it to a party as long as the money is there.

It has nothing to do with temperaments. How many child dedications are they going to do in their marriage span. At most 5. If the lady births once in two years, it's okay to host a party. No big deal with that but going clubbing and partying every other Friday is a no no. I might be an introvert but I speak for all responsible fathers out there.

From her writeup, he seem to be a party freak and that can be disastrous to their home if left unchecked.

People always jumps in any thing concerning wealth. Being rich does not mean that he is living a promise life. I am sure, this lady just briefed a small aspect of his flamboyant life, there are more to it. Too much make ups can have a severe impact in the natural beauty of a person, can even cause some defects. Dressing properly and wearing high heals is not a bad thing but i have seeing ladies who dont like high heals but started using them at some point. This things are gradual process and this guy should just understand. My advice is that he appears to like you by given you all the support. Say it this in a low and lovely voice. Love, i acknowledged the level of love you have for me and want me to be a better person. I understand your feelings for me to change as soon as possible. I want you to also understand that i love you too, i am proud of you and willing to readjust my life to suit your test. I will also like you to consider the fact that change is a gradual process and dont happen quickly. Ask him questions like, do you think that a good relationship is good when third party is involve? Is going to club every time an ideal living style? i see too much make ups not good for healthy living? promise him that you will start to learn how to wear high heals, at the end ask him what he might be willing to give up as well for you, you might be lucky he say 'clubbing'

Monday200:

You are not ready for marriage if you are not ready to make sacrifices. Plus you will be making a lot more whether you like it or not for dating a rich very guy. It’s like being married into royalty. If you not ready for that get someone your own level.

donstan18:
It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

shuuuuuuuu, what's wrong if she's a deeper life member? for ur info, money isn't everything

Story for the gods �

eezeribe:

That's why I always encourage my fellow men from rich families to stop dating or marrying girls from poorer homes because the reverse is rarely the case...
Op, I will advise you to break up with him and look for a young man within your social and financial class...
You are a very modest person, and as such, you need to cut your coat according to your size and material.

you do realize that vp osibanjos wife came from a rich and influential family (awolowos granddaughter) but she is very reserved and never wears makeup.

what about mark zuberrberg and prscillia chan,bill and Melinda etc.

This has very little to do with money ,it has much more to do with prefreces shaped by family background . Haven't you heard of flashy poor people who will borrow money to show off.

Everyone has preferences .The man might be what toke makinwa wants but not Priscilla chan or melinda gates .

The only beautiful thing I like about the guy is that its obvious he loves this lady.