sacramento1212:


May be the husband was displaying questionable character but i am only commenting based on her write up because we haven’t heard the husband’s version of the whole matter. So one wouldn’t know if truly the husband had all these planned out from the onset or not.

That man is wicked. Okay let's assume the house was built by him alone and the house is in his name solely, as a couple he should know the house belongs to he and his wife.
The fact that a lady is living under your roof doesn't mean you should be chasing her out when there is disagreement, she's not a house help.

HEseesall:



You dont understand, we have kids, i am working but i cant do everything on my own, how will i tell them we are no more together because of property

Same way he would have told them if you built the house in his name and he kicked you out as planned


Madam I have no more advice if you like go and dash him the house when he kicks you out come and throw a pity party. I don't understand Nigerian women and their desperation. He would have kicked you out without a second thought and you are acting like he is a real husband instead of doing thanksgiving

Babybunny:
60% you say?
Would you advice the man so If it were the other way round? Bunch of egoistic hypocrites.

Calm down
Husband and wife ordinarily are supposed to be one, all these are caused by lack of trust and firm believe in oneness. The man married the woman and not the other way round. The husband is head to his wife n DTS not hard to figure out.

Any woman who cannot stay under a man should not consider marriage, after all marriage is not a must

Babybunny:
That man is wicked. Okay let's assume the house was built by him alone and the house is in his name solely, as a couple he should know the house belongs to he and his wife.
The fact that a lady is living under your roof doesn't mean you should be chasing her out when there is disagreement, she's not a house help.

I agree with you. No matter the disagreement between both parties, he shouldn’t have pronounced that statement(chasing the wife out). There’s no perfect marriage and there’s bound to be disagreement but it shouldn’t have gotten to that point. But again, there’s more to this that we all don’t know. How can one live as husband and wife with this kind of trust issues?

divinelove:


The only way out if she still wants her husband is to concern 60% ownership to the man. There is serious trust issues already therefore sole ownership by either party is unthinkable in the interest of their marriage

lol. The woman has more solid grounds on this issue. She used HER MONEY to build the house. It's not advisable to force love. It's either he loves her or not. He should recognise what has happened has happened, If he can't stop his wickedness, manipulation and pride and accept 50-50 ownership for the sake of love, then he Bleep off.

The op has played her part in trying to mend the relationship by offering a 50-50 ownership of the house. If the husband can't humble himself and change his ways, he should Bleep off. He is meant to apologise for trying to kick his wife out. How callous!

divinelove:


Calm down
Husband and wife ordinarily are supposed to be one, all these are caused by lack of trust and firm believe in oneness. The man married the woman and not the other way round. The husband is head to his wife n DTS not hard to figure out.

Any woman who cannot stay under a man should not consider marriage, after all marriage is not a must

@bolded smh!

sacramento1212:


I agree with you. No matter the disagreement between both parties, he shouldn’t have pronounced that statement(chasing the wife out). There’s no perfect marriage and there’s bound to be disagreement but it shouldn’t have gotten to that point. But again, there’s more to this that we all don’t know. How can one live as husband and wife with this kind of trust issues?

How a man be a good husband with such character flaws?

Martinez19:
lol. The woman has more solid grounds on this issue. She used HER MONEY to build the house. It's not advisable to force love. It's either he loves her or not. He should recognise what has happened has happened, If he can't stop his wickedness, manipulation and pride and accept 50-50 ownership for the sake of love, then he Bleep off.

The op has played her part in trying to mend the relationship by offering a 50-50 ownership of the house. If the husband can't humble himself and change his ways, he should Bleep off. He is meant to apologise for trying to kick his wife out. How callous!

gbam

Babybunny:
@bolded smh!

He is living in the stone age.

divinelove:


Calm down
Husband and wife ordinarily are supposed to be one, all these are caused by lack of trust and firm believe in oneness. The man married the woman and not the other way round. The husband is head to his wife n DTS not hard to figure out.

Any woman who cannot stay under a man should not consider marriage, after all marriage is not a must

The man marries the woman and the woman does what in return. ? What sort of archaic definition of marriage is that? This is so stone age mehn!??

HEseesall:



He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

What the heck is wrong with you? He used his to build for his parents (which will be his after his father passes on, that is if its not in his name sef) You used yours to build for the family. So what exactly is the issue. Okay, you even suggested using the Mr and Mrs with both your names and he still says mbanu cos he is a greedy Buffon!
Then you are here on nairaland of all places to ask for advice. I am beginning to disbelieve this cock and bull story. What advice do you want now. Okay, go and change it to his name, case closed.

With post like this, I don't blame men when they call women fishbrains.

Ehmm, abeg what kind of business did you two get involved in that fetched so much money. Please introduce a sister, bikonu!

Martinez19:
lol. The woman has more solid grounds on this issue. She used HER MONEY to build the house. It's not advisable to force love. It's either he loves her or not. He should recognise what has happened has happened, If he can't stop his wickedness, manipulation and pride and accept 50-50 ownership for the sake of love, then he Bleep off.

The op has played her part in trying to mend the relationship by offering a 50-50 ownership of the house. If the husband can't humble himself and change his ways, he should Bleep off. He is meant to apologise for trying to kick his wife out. How callous!

Alot is at stake here ( except the woman wants a divorce) and we are talking about husband and wife here. In a family the husband is the head and taking a major decision like house owner ship without his knowledge and approval is unacceptable moreso sole ownership as a married woman.

The man has moved on already n his wife is the one crying all over the place now even with sole ownership left for her already. My brother it's not DT easy to say bleep him other wise the wife won't be here crying when the man has left everything for her already. It's not like the man is dragging anything he left everything.

Whose idea was the biz that brought all d money DT caused this problem?

Let them shift grounds, they have alot of juicy joint businesses ahead.

Concead 60% ownership to the man and make peace n save the marriage

JoannaSedley:
The man marries the woman and the woman does what in return. ? What sort of archaic definition of marriage is that? This is so stone age mehn!??

Not really it's biblical standard

The man paid bride price n married the woman

divinelove:


Alot is at stake here ( except the woman wants a divorce) and we are talking about husband and wife here. In a family the husband is the head and taking a major decision like house owner ship without his knowledge and approval is unacceptable moreso sole ownership as a married woman.

The man has moved on already n his wife is the one crying all over the place now even with sole ownership left for her already. My brother it's not DT easy to say bleep him other wise the wife won't be here crying when the man has left everything for her already. It's not like the man is dragging anything he left everything.

Whose idea was the biz that brought all d money DT caused this problem?

Let them shift grounds, they have alot of juicy joint businesses ahead.

Concead 60% ownership to the man and make peace n save the marriage

SMH. Keep living in stone age.

divinelove:


Not really it's biblical standard

The man paid bride price n married the woman

Not everybody believes in fairy tales.

Eketem:


Same way he would have told them if you built the house in his name and he kicked you out as planned


Madam I have no more advice if you like go and dash him the house when he kicks you out come and throw a pity party. I don't understand Nigerian women and their desperation. He would have kicked you out without a second thought and you are acting like he is a real husband instead of doing thanksgiving

lol. Don't mind the op. Hopes she listens to our advice.

Martinez19:
SMH. Keep living in stone age.

My submissions are based on eternal truths as enshrined in the holy Bible which is the factory manual for Godly marriage

JoannaSedley:
Not everybody believes in fairy tales.

We are talking about holy Bible and Godly marriage principles not fairy tales

divinelove:



We are talking about holy Bible and Godly marriage principles not fairy tales

It can be holy to you but not to me. I do not live my life by the principle of the 'holy bible and godly principles'. So you have to have an open mind devoid of religious principle when you are on an open forum like this.

divinelove:




My submissions are based on eternal truths as enshrined in the holy Bible which is the factory manual for Godly marriage

all religions and other world mysticisms are ridiculous garbages and falsehood. They have no basis in reality.

The woman is terrible and I understand the husband's point of view.

He asked her to pack out like any average Nigerian man threatens when they are very annoyed. He was probably never going to see it through on the long run.

Only to have his wife deflect his ego that the property he thought was a family asset belonged to his wife.
A massive treachery.

I am sure he is never going to stay in that house again. He'd rather rent his own house than live there.

If the woman knows what is good for her, she'd better retrace her steps and change the ownership to a family name or in the children's names.

If not, That guy would go out there and get a new wife in time and rent a new house, and she would be stuck with three children.

Martinez19:
lol. Don't mind the op. Hopes she listens to our advice.

Unfortunately she won't listen from experience with these issues.

She will go and tell a pastor who will convince her to submit the papers and her husband will promise to change, in a few months she will be back crying that he has kicked her out.

Leave these women they will be praying and disturbing God when God has rescued them from bondage already.

Let's get something straight here;


1. You did not buy a house with your own proceeds. What you acquired is the land.

2. Are you saying from the foundation to the furnishing of that building, your husband did not contribute at least 60% of the building funds?

3. If your husband has a very significant contribution to that building, then his grievances are well justified. How can he contribute to a building and not have his name on the property? What's the ratio of cost of land to the actual building?

Before you follow the recommendations on this thread, ensure you clarify your post.. Don't go and destroy your home based on the half truth you have here.

It is unfortunate that in law, the owner of the land is assumed the overseer and owner of any building, property or items on the land. Buildings don't come with a name, only the land does, so I totally understand your husband's fears. Your acquisition of a land shouldn't give you the absolute authority over the entire property. This is family affairs please, not property law.

Eketem:



Unfortunately she won't listen from experience with these issues.

She will go and tell a pastor who will convince her to submit the papers and her husband will promise to change, in a few months she will be back crying that he has kicked her out.

Leave these women they will be praying and disturbing God when God has rescued them from bondage already.

It seems you have not been listening to the woman.
She said she cannot take care of three children alone.

This hard ball you are advising her to take is something that she will not cope with the consequences.

Acidosis:


Let's get something straight here;


1. You did not buy a house with your own proceeds. What you acquired is the land.

2. Are you saying from the foundation to the furnishing of that building, your husband did not contribute at least 60% of the building funds?

3. If your husband has a very significant contribution to that building, then his grievances are well justified. How can he contribute to a building and not have his name on the property? What's the ratio of cost of land to the actual building?

Before you follow the recommendations on this thread, ensure you clarify your post.. Don't go and destroy your home based on the half truth you have here.

I am sure the husband must have contributed in cash,or at least ensured the progress of the project like any property of his.

He is right to be aggrieved. The woman is not wise.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.

don't change it to his name be very very wise.if it were the other way round,you and kids will be homeless by now.

Secure your future and the kids.

Whew!!!

If I were you, I would be in church first thing tomorrow morning to thank God for His deliverance.

This is a real blessing in disguise!!! So, you would have been on the streets with your children begging a man to let you into a home that you used your share of funds to build.

What if you also spent your share on your family, what would he have done Abi you sef no get family weh need money?

Be Wise Woman!!! God just exposed his heart and delivered you.

I doubt if this man ever loved you sef. It's time to wake up and sharp up.

Don't put your family in the dark about this happenings, they are probably the only ones that love you geniunely and have your real interest at heart.

CSTR1005:

It seems you have not been listening to the woman.
She said she cannot take care of three children alone.

This hard ball you are advising her to take is something that she will not cope with the consequences.

Wetin concern me, she can't take care of 3 kids alone at least she has a house let her join being homeless and taking care of 3 kids.

I have no words for weak women who stick to weakness even when God has shown them signs clearly

JoannaSedley:
Not everybody believes in fairy tales.

There are so many reasons why I hate that book of many ridiculous stories. This is one of them


Op, my advice to you is since he has gone, let him go, but...... People don't like divorce sooooo.... No comment.

Eketem:


Wetin concern me, she can't take care of 3 kids alone at least she has a house let her join being homeless and taking care of 3 kids.

I have no words for weak women who stick to weakness even when God has shown them signs clearly

Alright then.

At least she has a house to sell or lease to take care of her children and then hope some man somewhere finds her interesting enough to come in and play the role of a father for her children and a companion.

By then, the husband would have moved on, rent a new house, find a new woman he trusts to respect him and build a family with him.

Win -win.

CSTR1005:

Alright then.

At least she has a house to sell or lease to take care of her children and then hope some man somewhere finds her interesting enough to come in and play the role of a father for her children and a companion.

By then, the husband would have moved on, rent a new house, find a new woman he trusts to respect him and build a family with him.

Win -win.

Are the children not his anymore?
Such disgusting mentality men have, that a child they created is no longer theirs just because they end things with the mother.
I still say such men should be put in jail.

Then these are the same idiots who will wonder why the children hate him or why the wife cannot refer to him as a father.

By the way, as for the part in bold. All these bs scare tactics don't work anymore, of course she will find someone willing to marry her and be a good father to her kids. Why won't she? So many men with different good mindsets in this world. Misogynistic Nigerian men aren't the only men in this world.


The man should rather hope he will find a good woman which Frankly, he does not deserve a good woman, he deserves a devil like him, to give him hell.

Anyways, she hasn't left her husband, and probably never will, (even though she will be better for it )so we need to stop talking about it as if she has.

Okay so they both made profit from a business

Hubby used his share for his parents, wifey used her share to buy a Land for the family( in her name).
Now husband and wife built the house TOGETHER.
Hubby threatens wifey to pack out, wifey says the property is in her name.
Hubby gets angry, moves out tells his family about what wifey does
Hubby wants wifey to change the document in his name
Wifey suggests both of their names
Hubby wants his name alone for the house that the land was bought with her own proceeds of the business and they contributed to build together.

Well that's the summary of the whole story.


He will chase you out of that house once you change the documents to his. He might not do it in 5years time but he will surely do it and this one he has informed his relatives too you are now the 'bad wife' may God help you.


It's because of men like these some woman contribute nothing to Land issues of their husband's they will just be looking at you from far. Even advice they won't give, supervise they won't do.