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My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience - Travel - Nairaland

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My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Capslock01: 7:18pm On Jul 28, 2018
This happened in 2016 when I was still a student in Ibadan and I'm sharing this, in order to let people shine their eyes whenever they find themselves in Lagos. You'll find my experience below.
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The slogan "welcome to lagos" seen at every border of lagos state does not literally mean you're welcome to lagos city.
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If you've ever found yourself in Lagos. Then you're no stranger to the slogan "welcome to lagos", below is my welcoming experience.
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I had to go through the torture of struggling out of bed as I had slept late because I arrived in Lagos around 11:30pm from school the other night. It was a beautiful morning of the day I was to pick Aluminium alloy up, at the Nigeria Aluminium extrusion company but it never dawned on me it was not going to be a beautiful day on my end.
Having lived in Lagos virtually all my life, I know the only way to beat the frequent chaotic traffic is by moving out very early. I observed a quick bath then reach for my bag to pick the clothes I had nicely folded in it from school, a white shirt with little touch of blue and a black trouser. The shirt was properly tucked in on the nearly faded black trouser with a bow tie to complement it, trying as much as I could to look official. With a sense of accomplishment, I quickly fell on my knees to commit my days unto God's hand before I set out. As I was reaching for the door I heard my mother's voice drifted pass me, "Emmanuel, come and drop anything expensive on you", she persuaded.
"I don't have anything expensive on me", I lied, but I had one of my most expensive stuffs on me at that time. I thought it was the usual protective advice, so I ignored and set out.
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It was around 5am and the street was as busy as the strings of a guitar that are being struck constantly, I noticed they were more people on the street at that ungodly hour than they were in broad daylight where I came from. At the bus park, the blasting of hones, noise and the incessant chanting of people and bus conductor could send patient on life support to early grave. The park was filled with a hive of commuters that one had to be hyper active to get a bus, I stood for unknown minutes since I had no better choice than to wait and hope for a bus to
arrive soon. I was on all expenses paid trip, so I practically paid no attention to the price of bus. My prayer was fast answered as I heard the harsh voice of a typical
Lagos conductor screaming, "Oshod.! Oshod..! Oshod...!"
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I zoomed off towards the direction of the bus and struggled to gain access as I had to contend with more
experienced commuters. I eventually succeeded, not without condoning the few violent
jabs from them. With the euphoria, I lowered my backside towards the seat to live the fruit of my recent struggle. However, the feeling was short-lived; as the seat that was designed for four people was used to commute five people, the discomfort could only be compared to the biblical hell. Every passenger was minding their business with the I don't care kind of look. The conductor's personality was not noticed by me but I guess it would be the usual harsh, non happy and loutish.
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I was still enjoying the fruit of my struggle, when I heard "Bros, where is my money", the bus conductor pointed towards my direction. I reached for my pocket, gave him 500 Naira note and collected 300 Naira change. I made for my pocket the second time, returned the change and brought out my 'old but gold' earpiece, connected it to my phone and put my best song "Lord you're good by Don Meon" on replay in order to avoid the usual Lagos yellow bus mumbo-jumbo. I was still lost in the look of where I knew the young lady that sat on the seat behind me, when the bus halt. "everybody get down" the bus conductor shouted. At that point, some of the passengers were struggling it out with the driver and conductor for dropping them at 'Bolade' instead of 'Oshodi'. I alighted from the bus without saying a word and tucked in my phone with the earpiece still plugged-in. I stopped by a phone booth to buy recharge card, loaded it, returned my phone to the pocket and suspended my plugged-in earpiece with my ears without playing music, as I walked through the busy and crowded street of Oshodi. I was fascinated by how things had changed and cherished the serenity of the environment as I also never seized to marvel at how Lagos state government achieved such a feat in a short period of time. I was still engulfed by things around me when I noticed something had disappeared on me.
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My inner man hoped it was my leg or Wallet! I couldn't touch my lower part for some minutes, because I could not foretold how I would react. I eventually took the step of faith, only for me to find out my phone had disappeared from my pocket with my earpiece left dangling. The feeling was too bad to be real, so much that I felt like my body was being used to pass electric current of high voltage, my phone gone? "a whole Samsung Galaxy S5...!", I muttered.
who stole my phone?
Who will I ask?
How will I ask? Were the questions that flowed through my mind. I tried to remain calm as much as I could but my heart pounded too fast like the sound of a thousand chariot going to the battle of Armageddon, one would not need stethoscope to hear the pounding. "How could I be so stupid to have lost a Samsung Galaxy S5 for crying out! The phone that holding it alone gave me some kind of feelings I could not explain.", I thought.
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I have never envisaged myself being a victim to corporate pick pockets who flaunt themselves as responsible working-class individuals at major bus-stops or streets around the Lagos metropolis. Why did this happen to me? Rather than trying to embarrass myself, I pretended as if nothing happened and called home to tell them what had befallen me to avoid another story, because I've heard cases where parents were called and lied to after their child's phone got missing. After unknown minutes of deliberation, I headed towards NIGALEX for the sole reason I was in Lagos, but they added salt to the injury when they told me to come another day for the pick up.
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As I embarked on my journey home after the unproductive pick up, I was weak and reminisced on the experience; it became obvious that life can sometimes be unpredictable and I learnt that obedience is the key in life. A beautiful morning turned out to be an horrible day for me with my Samsung Galaxy S5 missing and unproductive pick up of Aluminum alloy. When I got home and explained my experience to my mom, she nagged about it for umpteenth time even till date. Lol.
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#NuelAdeyemi.


Share your sad Lagos experience too.

29 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Poorboy: 8:01pm On Jul 28, 2018
I came back from togo with my girl, we arrived oshodi late at night and was heading to abuja that same night. As my phone take lost I no understand till today. Your own you even know say him lost from ur pocket, my own I no no

53 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by londoner: 10:04pm On Jul 28, 2018
You're a great storyteller.

32 Likes 4 Shares

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by good4all40: 1:59am On Jul 29, 2018
This Op should be employed by CNN, BBC and ALJAZEERA put together, you are a magnificent story teller

35 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Lhimeet(m): 9:39pm On Jul 29, 2018
Nice piece!

4 Likes

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Capslock01: 8:02am On Jul 30, 2018
Poorboy:
I came back from togo with my girl, we arrived oshodi late at night and was heading to abuja that same night. As my phone take lost I no understand till today. Your own you even know say him lost from ur pocket, my own I no no

grin this your own experience weak me ooo.

25 Likes

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Capslock01: 8:11am On Jul 30, 2018
good4all40, londoner. Lol, thanks. BBC, CNN Kwa? I'm not really good a writer o.

Lhimeet, thanks sir.

3 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Poorboy: 8:37am On Jul 30, 2018
Capslock01:


grin this your own experience weak me ooo.
lol I bin dey form b4, I humble that day.... Lagos people I salute una

9 Likes

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Capslock01: 9:03am On Jul 30, 2018
Poorboy:
lol I bin dey form b4, I humble that day.... Lagos people I salute una

Lol. same here. Anytime I enter Oshodi now, na strong face I dey carry enter. Lol

3 Likes

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by SEONaijaExpert: 6:10pm On Jul 30, 2018
Lagos is more commercial than residential

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Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Tokziby: 6:10pm On Jul 30, 2018
grin
Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Demgohearword: 6:11pm On Jul 30, 2018
Eko ilu ogbon... No be sherey sherey o

1 Like

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Impregnable101: 6:11pm On Jul 30, 2018
angry
Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by moscobabs(m): 6:13pm On Jul 30, 2018
grin

What you saw in welcome address of Lagos is "This is lagos" not "welcome to Lagos"

I will never forget 2008 after 2 years of graduation without Job, I was shortlisted for an interview in a company via my friend in Ikeja (I have never been to the company before o) I put on my suit and a well polished black shoe to match my gorgeous dressing cos I applied as an Accountant.

When I step out of my house I discovered that everywhere is silent and no movement of yellow buses so I meet some stranded passengers in the bus stop and they told me Saka Saula(NURTW chairman) was assassinated this early morning ,so no commercial vehicle will work except I get private car.

5mins after a danfo arrived and pick us in the bus stop but the tfare is triple, that wasn't my problem anyways cos I have to be in my interview centre bfre 10am and it's 8:30am already in Agege. We already approached Otubu close to Guiness when these touts attack our Danfo they beat everybody esp the driver and conductor for refusing to give respect to the dead, I was using Nokia 23100 then before count of 2 the phone has been removed from my pocket and the only address to where I was going for interview is inside and I didn't have my friend phone number offhand.

The guy that remove it passed it to another guy and that one run away but I hold and drag the guy that remove it and I start crying the idiot still snatch the envelope that contain my credentials.... I really suffer.

I was dragging him till one guy call us and I explained everything to him, the guy is their boss. He pacified me and asked me to call my phone number by 7pm, I was like you dey craz? 10am is my interview and the address is in that phone, bro pls tiyin o ni baje!!! I have been searching for job since 2006 'esanu mi' The guy said he cannot get the guy that took the phone away now until evening.... I have no choice than to go back home with sorrow. I called at exactly 7pm and they asked me to come and collect my phone.

I got the phone back but I lost the job which cost me another 14months home before I finally got a job

101 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by livinus009(m): 6:13pm On Jul 30, 2018
The funny thing about Lagos is that, you can be a victim of Pick-pocketing even if you've lived in Lagos for Donkey years.. Even Soldiers and police officer can be a victim in Lagos

28 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by girlhaley(f): 6:14pm On Jul 30, 2018
You can make a good writer

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by cooltola(m): 6:16pm On Jul 30, 2018
Lagos na Lagos, I remember way back in the 1990s when my mom glasses was snatch in front of her and she just watched and could do nothing. There are many pick pocket in Oshodi Market area, you have to shine your eyes wella. Everytime, you walk in Oshodi, Mushin, Agege area, abeg hide your expensive phone, jewelry, wrist watch , I pad or necklaces .

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Fahrenhite(m): 6:16pm On Jul 30, 2018
Nice write up.

As a lagosian, if you want to go through the day and return home with your valuables, especially your Phone still tucked in your pocket, you must adhere to the continuous weight and check principle.

1.Always measure the weight of your pocket with your legs.

2. Swing your hands by your pocket as you walk, sit in a bus/car or run to always confirm if your phone or wallet is still intact.
This is easy since ( Arm swinging ) is a natural motion we experience when we walk.

22 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by HoodBillionaire: 6:16pm On Jul 30, 2018
boring
for making me read your trash story
a whole me
now collect

28 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by twentyk(m): 6:16pm On Jul 30, 2018
Omo the antidote is to became wahrah Like everybody..... Not only in Oshodi ooo, anywhere you enter if you do like bohloh dem Don observe you already.....

Everything depends in the way you carry yourself, wey you look, way you walk.... You have to look mean, angry and just fucking pissed with everybody....anybody match you or push you asap scream "alaye happen,... Believe me those Agbero no want fight,they just wanna sample you... EVERYTHING NA VOICE... anybody voice you voice Your Own back asap....

Eg... Conductor pls gimme my change.... (in conductors mind buttie leleyi)

Caption this.... Tap him from where you sitting(frown somehow and look irritated)oga changi dah...(conductor be like alaye I never get change cool down)see the difference homie...
On the street you have to be "unruly because they don't play by the rules.....

142 Likes 7 Shares

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by ariesbull: 6:17pm On Jul 30, 2018
Along ikeja along, these dudes did a number on me....my bad Motorola suede . ..sweet phone , playing music with ear piece ..all of a sudden the music didn't okay again...I was thinking that maybe the track was changing...loo and behold , my phone was gone

That was the first time ... learnt my lesson...never put your phone in bag at bus stop...hold it ...I mean hold it so much

Lagos got no chill.... seriously

21 Likes

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Desdola(m): 6:18pm On Jul 30, 2018
That's welcome to Lagos
Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Nobody: 6:18pm On Jul 30, 2018
Obalende once oshodi twice. I was listening to music as i dey go board lekki bus from obalende. Two guys hit me with shoulder. As i look back the music don stop the earpiece was dangling. Obalende became bigger as i froze for 4 mins grin. Oshodi own d thief follow me cross road for night o middle of road d guy snatch my phone bt na touch light he steal my samsung was in my bag grin

26 Likes

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Muvihuri: 6:19pm On Jul 30, 2018
Dfg

1 Like

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Alloyhardu(m): 6:20pm On Jul 30, 2018
angry grin grin grin
Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Oyerinde16(m): 6:20pm On Jul 30, 2018
I sometimes feel anyone successfully scammed in Lagos is either careless, selfish or unlucky, I Never grew up in Lagos n I don't believe in jazz, whenever I am in Lagos I follow designated routes, I don't look for free ride, or cheap once, I will never allow 2,3 or 4 unknown pple box me in a corner, or follow desolate places inform of cutting corners, I'm not familiar to Lagos so if u ask for directions d ans is I don't know, I have walked up majestically to police stations n officer to ask 4 direction, keep ur gadget where its difficult for criminals to access such as bags n keep it close, bail when anyone tells u o dollars or try to derail u off course, finally be security conscious n shine your eyes at all times.....
NB: pls if they point a guy fake or not pls cooperate n hand over their property to them jejely.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Uromigod(m): 6:22pm On Jul 30, 2018
cool I love ur write up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwBnIbEhuZo
this is what Linda is selling to Nigerian because it sells well. lol about yesterday at made in gidi
Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by adejaresalami1(m): 6:22pm On Jul 30, 2018
I cannot forget the day Lagos showed me its true color....I was at iyana ipaja wanting to board a bus going to molete- challenge(Ibadan) and I was backing my back pack. I entered the Ibadan bus to found out my tablet was missing inside my bag....men.....I was sweating like a goat see the knife.

I just jejely closed back my bag and said my journey prayer.

7 Likes

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Offpoint: 6:22pm On Jul 30, 2018
Nice story even though I didn't read it, but I know it's nice story cuz everyone says it's nice story.

I was not born to read

9 Likes

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by RexTramadol1: 6:25pm On Jul 30, 2018
Intweztin buh you wrote that long epistle because of ordinary Samsung S5




People Wey lost blockuz nko? Wetin Dem go do?

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Sad And Funny Lagos Experience by Nobody: 6:25pm On Jul 30, 2018
Us wey never visit Lagos before nko?

7 Likes

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