Dear Jzhane,

Please help me cos I am living in a nightmare and I don’t know how I am going to wake up from it. Hide my ID please.

I met Soji three years ago. He was the nicest guy. We met in church and admired each other as friends for a couple of months before we started dating. He was easy to talk to. He was kind and a good christian. Before long,we told our pastor that we wanted to get married and we were engaged after that.

Before I met Soji,I was in a relationship with someone while I was in Bauchi,that was shortly after my service year. The relationship broke up cos the guy was always pestering e for s*x until I couldn’t hold back the pressure so I gave in. I told myself that I didn’t want to loose him. But that experience left a scar on my me forever. It was horrible. It was my first time at age 27 and I was in so much pain and I bled for almost two days. I broke up with the guy and I promised never to have s*x again until I get married.

Soji agreed to the no s*x before marriage and that was it. We got married a year and half later and that was when I knew I had a bigger problem. My first experience with s*x made me so scared of it that I couldn’t have se properly with my husband,Soji. Right from our wedding night,I was so scared and in pains and I cried all through. It actually made me loathe s*x. Soji began to complain and he was so disappointed. He loved me so much but every time it was time for s*x it was like hell for us.

I just couldn’t get myself to like it. I tried and tried. I read books and all but I was darn so scared. It dawned on me that I had become traumatized by my first experience and as such,I was afraid of the idea of s*x. My husband didn’t understand me and we quarreled about this all the time. He accused me of being unfair and said I deceived him to marry me. I tried to explain to him my fears but he just said I should get over it. That hurt me more and pushed me away more and more.

I knew our marriage needed help but I didn’t know who to go to. I had told my pastor and .....



https://livelystones.com.ng/how-my-first-time-experience-ruined-me-marriage/

Lol!