Dear Yetunde, I have a very serious problem which has started affecting me psychologically and even my performance at my job. I have tried to work things out with my wife but it has not yielded any positive result as I am not convinced about the situation. I feel too ashamed to discuss the problem with my pastor and even worse with my mother because I know that will only escalate things. Trust me, I know my mother and mothers generally. As for my friends, I am afraid they might turn around to use it against us and make me the butt of their jokes My problem started last December, over the festive period to be precise. I caught my wife on our matrimonial bed having sex with a vibrator. I almost collapsed because I was shocked beyond what words can describe. I found myself shaking from head to toe, unable to even say anything. I felt so disgusted and sick that I had to rush to the bathroom to splash water over my face to avoid vomiting. She must have been so engrossed in what she was doing that she did not even know when I entered our apartment and walked into the room to find her in that position. It was my movement that brought her back to reality. What I found most disturbing at that moment was why she could not wait for me if she was so in need of sex, since I’d called her earlier on that I was on my way home. And though she got up immediately and started pleading with me that it was the devil, I did not bring myself to talk to her until very early in the morning of the next day. She told me a friend in her office had given it to her to try out and it was her first time of using it. And that she would have told me about it but wanted to try it out first. She mentioned somebody’s name which she said I have never met and pleaded that she would return it and never use it again. She managed to convince me that it was an innocent one-off-thing which I did not need to bother myself about and I accepted. But it was difficult for me to forget as I kept seeing the picture of her in that position in my head and wondering if it was right for a married, Christian woman to be doing such a thing. To me, it is something made by the Satan for his children. Later that week, she told me she had returned it and things went back to normal between us but I was surprised to find the instrument again in her underwear drawer by accident. She was not at home, so I took it out and laid it on her side of the bed. As soon as she saw it, she went on her knees again and began to beg me. She said she did not know how to return the thing since it was a gift and would not want to upset her colleague at the office, nor embarrass herself. She insisted she was not using it and was also scouting for whom she too can give it to. Since I did not catch her using it, I had no choice but to let it go. However, I was not comfortable and began suspecting her. I later hatched a plan to catch her and before long, it worked. What I saw that evening was worse than the previous one and still haunts me till today. I’d never seen my wife look that way before even when we are doing it. I was transfixed that I had to hide quietly behind the door way to allow her finish before I opened the door. Immediately my wife went on her knees, begging that it was the devil again. I refused to talk to her and walked out of the apartment. I just walked round and round the neighbourhood because I felt lost and didn’t know where to go or who to talk to. I felt thoroughly betrayed. I had never looked at another woman in my life, before and even after I met her. I’d never looked at porn magazines or movie, not to talk of having a girlfriend, and worse still, owning a intimacy gadget. I could only manage to keep my anger for two days as she kept crying and asking for forgiveness, promising never to use it again. I could not bear to see her that way too, so, I insisted she had to tell me the truth. She then told me that since the matter was no longer a secret, it was better she confessed everything to me. She said the vibrator was hers and she had been using it even before she became a born again Christian, as she was introduced to it while in Secondary school. (A girls only school) I don’t understand the logic, but she said it was a way to show that they did not need male company? Were they Lesbians? She insisted they were not. When she became “born again” in the university, she stopped, she said. This was where we met and started first as friends, then I got the message that she was my wife and we eventually got married two years after our service year. She said she was forced to go and buy another vibrator after a discussion with some ladies in her office about how much they enjoyed their sex life and she missed the fun she used to have. She also told me that she does not get satisfaction from what we do together but did not want to hurt my feelings by telling me and begged me to allow her to continue using the thing and that it will not affect what we have together, after all, I never would have guessed it, if I had not caught her using it. My problem now is that, though I have not caught her again in almost two months, I am still not happy because I know she is doing it and its disgusting to me. Though she says it will not affect us, it is already affecting me because anytime I want to have sex with her, that picture comes to my mind and spoils my mood. I will have to just force myself because I have nowhere else to relieve myself. My work schedule is very tight as I work in the bank and have to leave home very early in the morning and most times, don’t return home until around 10pm or even later. I am also taking some professional courses, so, that also takes away most of my weekends. But my wife is a teacher, so she has more than enough time on her hands to do all she wants before I return. Before you ask what I have done to make our love life better, I have tried to do everything she tells me, and though she says she is now enjoying it, I am not convinced. I do not see that look on her face. And it is making me feel inadequate as a husband. We have been married for three years and we are yet to conceive a child and I sometimes wonder if this is her priority. I know what I am facing with my mother and family on that issue alone, not to now add this one to it. Have I not bitten more than I can chew with this girl? My wife is unfaithful to me and I am powerless to do anything about it. Please Aunty Yetunde, help me. I want Nigerians to advise me on what next to do. I don’t want anyone to know my identity please. Worried guy in Lagos.

Read more at: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2014/06/wife-cheating-vibrator/

Is that one cheating? �

It's obvious you have not been satisfying her, she's adventurous, not bad! Join her, don't let her feel ashamed using it around you, work it with her, study what she does with it that excites her most, do the same.

Nothing stops you from joining her. If both of you use it, your sex-life will be more fun.

It is better she cheats with vibrator than with Brother Paul the choir master. Afterall she won't fall in love with vibrator and then try to either kill you or run away together with the vibrator and your money

There is never a remedy for this kind of a problem.

A partner mustn't kill himself/herself trying to please a partner sexually, especially when non human factor is involved.
Either he accepts his fate by allowing her to keep using the gadget or call it quite. Although he'll never be happy within, accepting his fate.

Hmmmm oooo

Well ...it's quite funny because you used the word cheating.. Won't say she's cheating because she's using a vibrator, and I think vibrator is better than brother Samuel

Don't know why there's always a problem with "born again" satisfying their wife sexually, like they act like sex is poo or something, I don't get....Your wife just dey claim born again, she jaaa like mad!!

Explore your wife for crying out loud, make her scream, use the same vibrator with her and just explore...Let her be free talking about sex with you and enjoy ur marriage !!!

Don't involve any pastor because pastor sef dey face in own...

He can only cheat on you with a human.

She can also accuse you on cheating on her with a Vaseline...... If that makes sense to you, continue with your allegations

The moment the heart of a human being is hedonistic, ONLY Jesus can set it right. Untill that lady is 60+, he should just be at peace with the situation: it is called "FOR BETTER FOR WORSE," till death do them part. Except you marry that soul that is really meant for you, you'll struggle till the end and eventually give in or give up. A wise man said, " a man is incomplete untill he is married, and after that, he is finished ! "

Mtscheeeww...go buy sex doll and see how she will react..don't mind all these double standard feminists here dishing out rubbish advice.. You have to man up in your marriage

Oh God! Some women.

Same friends who convinced her to start using a vibrator and she yielded, would still convince her to start having sex outside.

What really brought about such discussion with her friends? This is how so many homes are wrecking today.
I believe you guys didn't talk about your sex lives before you got married, all because she was claiming to be a born again sister.

As a wife even if your husband is not satisfying you on bed, sit him down and talk to him about it. Both of you should look for remedies together.

Mr man from your story, I can say you're doing your best. A cock that loves sleeping on the roof in kafachan, when it gets to Lagos, even if the owner try to give it a comfortable home, it would still look for a way to sleep on a roof.

For the child bearing aspect, it is God that gives children but then talk to her about it while you pray along, the both of you should visit a gynecologist to know if something is wrong somewhere regards fertility. If nothing is wrong, wait for God's time.

Don't let the situation way you down, focus on your work and career.

What's now paining him? If he had sense, he'd go join the party.

Angy55:
Oh God! Some women.

Same friends who convinced her to start using a vibrator and she yielded, would still convince her to start having sex outside.

What really brought about such discussion with her friends? This is how so many homes are wrecking today.

As a wife even if your husband is not satisfying you on bed, sit him down and talk to him about it.
Make use of your phone to search for remedies online.

This has nothing to do with talking. What she should have done is to include the husband. Every woman has the right to nerve wrecking climaxes...

Instead of her accusing you for being sexually inadequate and reporting you to her parents, she decided to save you from disgrace by buying herself a gadget to use it and help herself achieve fulfillment. You're here going about accusing her for cheating. Do you want her to remain miserable and sexually unfulfilled?
What an insensate and insecure person you're!

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
This has nothing to do with talking. What she should have done is to include the husband. Every woman has the right to nerve wrecking climaxes...

Yes, every woman has the right. But from the man's story, I see her as woman who has been involved in a lot of sexual escapades and since she wants to get married decided to wear a sheep clothing and pretended to be sister Mary. Probably decided go celibate for some time to cover up.

She was already using a vibrator during her secondary school days. Just get the picture.
And like the man rightly said, he does everything she tells him just to satisfy her, after the discovery.

The man is only afraid that some day, she would graduate from using a vibrator and start sleeping around.

He is inexperienced too. He belongs to the ' brother Joseph and brother moses crew'. So, don't blame him much.

Angy55:
Oh God! Some women.

Same friends who convinced her to start using a vibrator and she yielded, would still convince her to start having sex outside.

What really brought about such discussion with her friends? This is how so many homes are wrecking today.
I believe you guys didn't talk about your sex lives before you got married, all because she was claiming to be a born again sister.

As a wife even if your husband is not satisfying you on bed, sit him down and talk to him about it. Both of you should look for remedies together.

Mr man from your story, I can say you're doing your best. ......

You think every man is emotionally matured to sit him down and confront him with his inadequacy. Many inadequate people will cover their own weakness and shift the blame to their partners.

If the lady is truly enjoying the man sexually, why will she bother to resort to using a gadget to achieve orgasm?

NwanyiAwkaetiti:
This has nothing to do with talking. What she should have done is to include the husband. Every woman has the right to nerve wrecking climaxes...

The very sight of a vibrator has gotten him to be hysterical. How can she include him?
She knows him better.

donjobill:


You think every man is emotionally matured to sit him down and confront him with his inadequacy. Many inadequate people will cover their own weakness and shift the blame to their partners.

If the lady is truly enjoying the man sexually, why will she bother to resort to using a gadget to achieve orgasm?

A gadget she was already using from her girls school days, didn't you read that part in the post?

Ladies who indulge in using object to satisfy themselves, it's very difficult for a real d*ck to make them get to that climax.

And from the man's post, he rightly said, he has done everything the wife told him just to make things right.

if its not a human being then its not cheating.

Colourich:
if its not a human being then its not cheating.

Honestly, I don't blame the man. He is the religious (bro Paul) that believes such gadgets are demonic and from the pit of hell, like he rightly said. Hence, he resulted to saying the wife is unfaithful and cheating on him.

We've read cases online where couples complain of their partners masturbating and all, this is no exemption.

How can he manage all these up? He closes from work very late because of the nature of his job. He is working and pursuing his career all at once. Should he stop his work and stop pursuing his career to satisfy his wife who has a high libido for sex? Read again where he said he already called her that he was coming home already, what stopped her from waiting for him? That was when he caught her.

Here at once, he said she is not bothered about child bearing. As a wife in the Africa setting, after 2years of not conceiving, even if the man is not bothered, she should be bothered, she should be the one to ginger the man up for prayers, visit a gynecologist and all that.

I think something is not right.

Angy55:

A gadget she was already using from her girls school days, didn't you read that part in the post?

Ladies who indulge in using object to satisfy themselves, it's very difficult for a real d*ck to make them get to that climax.

And from the man's post, he rightly said, he has done everything the wife told him just to make things right.

Angy55:


Yes, every woman has the right. But from the man's story, I see her as woman who has been involved in a lot of sexual escapades.................



He is inexperienced too. He belongs to the ' brother Joseph and brother moses crew'. So, don't blame him much.

A clear case of a lady who is, more or less, exposed, being married to a man who " belongs to ' the brother Joseph and brother Moses crew '

A tamed animal choosing a wild animal to live together for better or for worst.

" So, don't blame him much"

ozoigbondu1:
Dear Yetunde, I have a very serious problem which has started affecting me psychologically and even my performance at my job. I have tried to work things out with my wife but it has not yielded any positive result as I am not convinced about the situation. I feel too ashamed to discuss the problem with my pastor and even worse with my mother because I know that will only escalate things. Trust me, I know my mother and mothers generally. As for my friends, I am afraid they might turn around to use it against us and make me the butt of their jokes My problem started last December, over the festive period to be precise. I caught my wife on our matrimonial bed having sex with a vibrator. I almost collapsed because I was shocked beyond what words can describe. I found myself shaking from head to toe, unable to even say anything. I felt so disgusted and sick that I had to rush to the bathroom to splash water over my face to avoid vomiting. She must have been so engrossed in what she was doing that she did not even know when I entered our apartment and walked into the room to find her in that position. It was my movement that brought her back to reality. What I found most disturbing at that moment was why she could not wait for me if she was so in need of sex, since I’d called her earlier on that I was on my way home. And though she got up immediately and started pleading with me that it was the devil, I did not bring myself to talk to her until very early in the morning of the next day. She told me a friend in her office had given it to her to try out and it was her first time of using it. And that she would have told me about it but wanted to try it out first. She mentioned somebody’s name which she said I have never met and pleaded that she would return it and never use it again. She managed to convince me that it was an innocent one-off-thing which I did not need to bother myself about and I accepted. But it was difficult for me to forget as I kept seeing the picture of her in that position in my head and wondering if it was right for a married, Christian woman to be doing such a thing. To me, it is something made by the Satan for his children. Later that week, she told me she had returned it and things went back to normal between us but I was surprised to find the instrument again in her underwear drawer by accident. She was not at home, so I took it out and laid it on her side of the bed. As soon as she saw it, she went on her knees again and began to beg me. She said she did not know how to return the thing since it was a gift and would not want to upset her colleague at the office, nor embarrass herself. She insisted she was not using it and was also scouting for whom she too can give it to. Since I did not catch her using it, I had no choice but to let it go. However, I was not comfortable and began suspecting her. I later hatched a plan to catch her and before long, it worked. What I saw that evening was worse than the previous one and still haunts me till today. I’d never seen my wife look that way before even when we are doing it. I was transfixed that I had to hide quietly behind the door way to allow her finish before I opened the door. Immediately my wife went on her knees, begging that it was the devil again. I refused to talk to her and walked out of the apartment. I just walked round and round the neighbourhood because I felt lost and didn’t know where to go or who to talk to. I felt thoroughly betrayed. I had never looked at another woman in my life, before and even after I met her. I’d never looked at porn magazines or movie, not to talk of having a girlfriend, and worse still, owning a intimacy gadget. I could only manage to keep my anger for two days as she kept crying and asking for forgiveness, promising never to use it again. I could not bear to see her that way too, so, I insisted she had to tell me the truth. She then told me that since the matter was no longer a secret, it was better she confessed everything to me. She said the vibrator was hers and she had been using it even before she became a born again Christian, as she was introduced to it while in Secondary school. (A girls only school) I don’t understand the logic, but she said it was a way to show that they did not need male company? Were they Lesbians? She insisted they were not. When she became “born again” in the university, she stopped, she said. This was where we met and started first as friends, then I got the message that she was my wife and we eventually got married two years after our service year. She said she was forced to go and buy another vibrator after a discussion with some ladies in her office about how much they enjoyed their sex life and she missed the fun she used to have. She also told me that she does not get satisfaction from what we do together but did not want to hurt my feelings by telling me and begged me to allow her to continue using the thing and that it will not affect what we have together, after all, I never would have guessed it, if I had not caught her using it. My problem now is that, though I have not caught her again in almost two months, I am still not happy because I know she is doing it and its disgusting to me. Though she says it will not affect us, it is already affecting me because anytime I want to have sex with her, that picture comes to my mind and spoils my mood. I will have to just force myself because I have nowhere else to relieve myself. My work schedule is very tight as I work in the bank and have to leave home very early in the morning and most times, don’t return home until around 10pm or even later. I am also taking some professional courses, so, that also takes away most of my weekends. But my wife is a teacher, so she has more than enough time on her hands to do all she wants before I return. Before you ask what I have done to make our love life better, I have tried to do everything she tells me, and though she says she is now enjoying it, I am not convinced. I do not see that look on her face. And it is making me feel inadequate as a husband. We have been married for three years and we are yet to conceive a child and I sometimes wonder if this is her priority. I know what I am facing with my mother and family on that issue alone, not to now add this one to it. Have I not bitten more than I can chew with this girl? My wife is unfaithful to me and I am powerless to do anything about it. Please Aunty Yetunde, help me. I want Nigerians to advise me on what next to do. I don’t want anyone to know my identity please. Worried guy in Lagos.

Read more at: https://www.vanguardngr.com/2014/06/wife-cheating-vibrator/

A mature man will clap with glee and jump up and down if he finds his wife using a vibrator. Join in and see how much fun it is, sex is not all about pleasing yourself or making babies, make your woman squirm with excitement from time to time. Stop being a religious zealot.

Angy55:


Honestly, I don't blame the man. He is the religious (bro Paul) that believes such gadgets are demonic and from the pit of hell, like he rightly said. Hence, he resulted to saying the wife is unfaithful and cheating on him.

We've read cases online where couples complain of their partners masturbating and all, this is no exemption.

How can he manage all these up? He closes from work very late because of the nature of his job. He is working and pursuing his career all at once. Should he stop his work and stop pursuing his career to satisfy his wife who has a high libido for sex? Read again where he said he already called her that he was coming home already, what stopped her from waiting for him? That was when he caught her.

Here at once, he said she is not bothered about child bearing. As a wife in the Africa setting, after 2years of not conceiving, even if the man is not bothered, she should be bothered, she should be the one to ginger the man up for prayers, visit a gynecologist and all that.

I think something is not right.

I'm your biggest fan

Futuragetty:

I'm your biggest fan

Smiles...

Oga, Let Her Be, She Is Not Cheating On U.