NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

Bro, is it you or ur family that married her? Don't let them disrespect ur wife. Secondly, I'm not in support of adopting the girl officially. You can look after her but adopting her is another issue that might bring problems in future

rman:


Everyone is giving the real dad an easy pass. The poster can choose to be a jackass too.

Is he now to be blamed for getting his own life together?

Well he seam to be a responsible dude that's why we are pleading he takes d child. Unlike d jackass real dad.

Who will u choose to give a very sharp knife to hold for you, a 15yr old or a 2yr old? I guess ur choice will be same as mine.

revolt:
you dnt know ita more dangerous to put a child with a step dad that can do more than psycological damage to a child. Hehe. So because of one child born out of wedlock the family shd scatter? Do i even know if part of the agreement b4 marriage was tht theyd keep all kids born out of wedlock out of the house..

It's not more dangerous unless you are insinuating that the op is a child molester, huh?


The man married the woman and all her burdens, so also did the woman marry the man along with all his burdens.

That's what is defined as marriage.

They can't keep all children born out of wedlock out of the house. If they did are you the one that's going to take care of those offsprings?

Or are you saying that the woman shouldn't be allowed to raise her daughter because she is now married?

Should she go and dump the child in an orphanage because the father of the child is marrying someone else and she is married to someone else and the child's grandparents are also rejecting her?

Put yourself in that child's shoes.

Is it really soo difficult to be empathetic? To try to do to others what you want others to do to you?

Would you be talking like this if it was the man that had the child out of wedlock? I bet you would come here and start saying "He is the head of the family..."

What if the child's father was dead? Is the woman to kill her child because her husband is afraid of what his family would say?

Some of you haven't really experienced life, have you?

ladies will always want men to accept their children which they conceived outside marriage but would never want to set their eyes on the husband's outside kids if it was the other way round. They'll go any length to kill the child yet some sentimental mods like Dominique are here berating this man because he refused to take in the child.

Ioannes:


It's not more dangerous unless you are insinuating that the op is a child molester, huh?


The man married the woman and all her burdens, so also did the woman marry the man along with all his burdens.

That's what is defined as marriage.

They can't keep all children born out of wedlock out of the house. If they did are you the one that's going to take care of those offsprings?

Or are you saying that the woman shouldn't be allowed to raise her daughter because she is now married?

Should she go and dump the child in an orphanage because the father of the child is marrying someone else and she is married to someone else and the child's grandparents are also rejecting her?

Put yourself in that child's shoes.

Is it really soo difficult to be empathetic? To try to do to others what you want others to do to you?

Would you be talking like this if it was the man that had the child out of wedlock? I bet you would come here and start saying "He is the head of the family..."

What if the child's father was dead? Is the woman to kill her child because her husband is afraid of what his family would say?

Some of you haven't really experienced life, have you?

She should sue that man so that they he can take the child or they should both come into agreement as to how they'll take care of the child.

NairalandFAYOSE:
pardon my blunders.
I was aware she has a baby before we met but still continued the relationship because the baby is with the father. she told me it was a mistake and the guy's family doesn't support their relationship. so they went their different ways while the guy kept the baby.

when we started, I found out she's humble, hardworking and she's everything I ever wanted in a woman. so we got married 4 years ago and have a 3 year old son and 2 beautiful twins (just 3 months old).

now the problem started when she went to church and her ex brought her 7 years old daughter unannounced. that he's married now and can't continue taking Care of the girl.
she called me from church and told me. immediately I told her not to bring a child thats not mine to me. she now took the baby to her mom and came home to meet me with my kids.
she has been begging me since to allow the baby in our home because the mother gave her 3 days to come and take her baby from her.

nairalanders pls I need your advice on this. those it make sense that I take the baby while the father is out there enjoying his life.

Please if you love your wife truly you will love and take her daughter. I already had a daughter when I met my husband, he won my heart the moment he told me he wants to marry me and be a father to my daughter and whatever God provide for him he will take care of me and my daughter, my mother insisted I leave m6 daughter with her but my husband said no way, my daughter moved in with us the next day after our wedding. She was 5 yrs old. Fast forward to now 21 yrs later, he is the best dad I can ever wish for, my daughter loves him to bits, she confides in him more than myself, she loved him more than her biological father who is even nowhere to be found, We did not have a child of our own unfortunately but he always insisted my daughter, is enough for him, My husband is one in a million, a good man. So Man up and take the child in if you really love your wife . A child should be with her mum. Your family cannot live your life for you. My husbands family said lots of things especially my mother in law, called my husband nanny and child minder, but my husband ignores all of them. Today my daughter is the one taking care of his needs , if you don’t know us from beginning you won’t belief he is not her biological father. Yoruba proverbs says “ Eni to bini, ko to Enito wo ni dagba ”

Donjazzy12:

You that is a good Samaritan and not heartless should take the child and train her.

Ode ni yen walahi! Onye obi akpor. Tufiakwa

As you are now you may not even be potent,better learn to appreciate children.

Sisomugo:
This guy is so mean. Imagine a silly reason to open thread.
By the way, that thing you call your home is also your wife's home so you guys co-own it.

Says a woman who would likely not contribute anything to the building of a family house..

LaudableXX:


No, that is not what I am saying. All I am saying, is that he should acknowledge that the girl's biological mother also has responsibilities towards her own child, and should allow her to take care of those responsibilities.

If he does not want to pay for the child's upkeep, no problem. The mother should do so, or the girl's birth father should send money to cover her needs. All he has to do, is simply give the girl a roof over her head, and treat her with polite courtesy. This girl is just 7 years old. In another 3 years, she will be in boarding school like someone pointed out. And afterwards, she goes to university. So how long will he have to give her ordinary accommodation?

ok, I get what you are saying now

remioshy:


Please if you love your wife truly you will love and take her daughter. I already had a daughter when I met my husband, he won my heart the moment he told me he wants to marry me and be a father to my daughter and whatever God provide for him he will take care of me and my daughter, my mother insisted I leave m6 daughter with her but my husband said no way, my daughter moved in with us the next day after our wedding. She was 5 yrs old. Fast forward to now 21 yrs later, he is the best dad I can ever wish for, my daughter loves him to bits, she confides in him more than myself, she loved him more than her biological father who is even nowhere to be found, We did not have a child of our own unfortunately but he always insisted my daughter, is enough for him, My husband is one in a million, a good man. So Man up and take the child in if you really love your wife . A child should be with her mum. Your family cannot live your life for you. My husbands family said lots of things especially my mother in law, called my husband nanny and child minder, but my husband ignores all of them. Today my daughter is the one taking care of his needs , if you don’t know us from beginning you won’t belief he is not her biological father. Yoruba proverbs says “ Eni to bini, ko to Enito wo ni dagba ”

ladies will always want men to accept their children which
they conceived outside marriage but would never want to
set their eyes on the husband's outside kids if it was the
other way round. They'll go any length to kill the child yet
some sentimental ladies like you are trying to use emotional blackmail into cajolling him to take in the kid.

Elder001:



She should sue that man so that they he can take the child or they should both come into agreement as to how they'll take care of the child.

Well if she can get the man to pay for child support, cool. But the woman should insist on having her daughter live with her.

That's the only way a mother can care for her child appropriately.

Ioannes:


Well if she can get the man to pay for child support, cool. But the woman should insist on having her daughter live with her.

That's the only way a mother can care for her child appropriately.

Under Nigerian law only married couples who got divorced can ask for child support.

Ioannes:


It's not more dangerous unless you are insinuating that the op is a child molester, huh?


The man married the woman and all her burdens, so also did the woman marry the man along with all his burdens.

That's what is defined as marriage.

They can't keep all children born out of wedlock out of the house. If they did are you the one that's going to take care of those offsprings?

Or are you saying that the woman shouldn't be allowed to raise her daughter because she is now married?

Should she go and dump the child in an orphanage because the father of the child is marrying someone else and she is married to someone else and the child's grandparents are also rejecting her?

Put yourself in that child's shoes.

Is it really soo difficult to be empathetic? To try to do to others what you want others to do to you?

Would you be talking like this if it was the man that had the child out of wedlock? I bet you would come here and start saying "He is the head of the family..."

What if the child's father was dead? Is the woman to kill her child because her husband is afraid of what his family would say?

Some of you haven't really experienced life, have you?

please ignore him, he's actually talking out of experience, trust me

Elder001:


Under Nigerian law only married couples who got divorced can ask for child support.

I'm not all that versed in Nigerian law or any law for that matter, but I'm thinking that alimony might be quite different from child support.

Alimony is the money you pay to support your ex-wife and kids while child support recognizes that you were never married to the woman but you are the father of her kids and so must pay for their support too.

I stand to be corrected.

MsGood:
.
Sir, you're a man and the head of your family, don't let people control your family.

he's now head of the family?

African women never seize to amuse me.

Ioannes:


I'm not all that versed in Nigerian law or any law for that matter, but I'm thinking that alimony might be quite different from child support.

Alimony is the money you pay to support your ex-wife and kids while child support recognizes that you were never married to the woman but you are the father of her kids and so must pay for their support too.

I stand to be corrected.

That is in other countries not Nigeria.

also, alimony doesn't exist in the Nigerian constitution.

Elder001:


That is in other countries not Nigeria.

also, alimony doesn't exist in the Nigerian constitution.

Oh, I see.

Thanks.

remioshy:


Please if you love your wife truly you will love and take her daughter. I already had a daughter when I met my husband, he won my heart the moment he told me he wants to marry me and be a father to my daughter and whatever God provide for him he will take care of me and my daughter, my mother insisted I leave m6 daughter with her but my husband said no way, my daughter moved in with us the next day after our wedding. She was 5 yrs old. Fast forward to now 21 yrs later, he is the best dad I can ever wish for, my daughter loves him to bits, she confides in him more than myself, she loved him more than her biological father who is even nowhere to be found, We did not have a child of our own unfortunately but he always insisted my daughter, is enough for him, My husband is one in a million, a good man. So Man up and take the child in if you really love your wife . A child should be with her mum. Your family cannot live your life for you. My husbands family said lots of things especially my mother in law, called my husband nanny and child minder, but my husband ignores all of them. Today my daughter is the one taking care of his needs , if you don’t know us from beginning you won’t belief he is not her biological father. Yoruba proverbs says “ Eni to bini, ko to Enito wo ni dagba ”

may God bless u my sister ur adage is sooo right, may God bless ur man abundantly he is indeed a rare gem, one in a million truly. I say there r still good men out there I don't base my judgement about men cos of some mofos around me. Live n let live.

femichill:
It's so funny how people talk. It's easier to give advice when you are not in that position. The child father denied his own child. The child grandma denied the same child. So, because he is the child stepfather, it is now his crime to take the child without us knowing his financial condition. I feel for u bro. However, make a decision you will stand by.

This is the only sensible and non-sentimental post on this thread.

The rest are sentimental and overly emotional people who can't do what they advice in real life.
They think it's that easy..

insulting op because he refused to accept the child instead of insulting the idiot who rejected his own blood.

Moji12:
please ignore him, he's actually talking out of experience, trust me

True talk.

Ioannes:


It's not more dangerous unless you are insinuating that the op is a child molester, huh?


The man married the woman and all her burdens, so also did the woman marry the man along with all his burdens.

That's what is defined as marriage.

They can't keep all children born out of wedlock out of the house. If they did are you the one that's going to take care of those offsprings?

Or are you saying that the woman shouldn't be allowed to raise her daughter because she is now married?

Should she go and dump the child in an orphanage because the father of the child is marrying someone else and she is married to someone else and the child's grandparents are also rejecting her?

Put yourself in that child's shoes.

Is it really soo difficult to be empathetic? To try to do to others what you want others to do to you?

Would you be talking like this if it was the man that had the child out of wedlock? I bet you would come here and start saying "He is the head of the family..."

What if the child's father was dead? Is the woman to kill her child because her husband is afraid of what his family would say?

Some of you haven't really experienced life, have you?

unfortunately the childs father is alive ...tht being said, marriage isnt run by empathy. Its strictly tactics and wisdom. Thats why babaymamas shouldnt go looking for husbands since they have a kid they do not want to let go of. The child will be the one to suffer for their selfishness. The man and his wife probably had a discuss with his wife b4 marriage. There were terms and conditions. Unfortunately on desperation she probably assured him the child would be with the father. You cannot suddenly chamge and expecr him to jes accept it. She should wait and probably pray he accepys to allow the child come not form good mother and bring the chld in by force.

Elder001:


he's now head of the family?

African women never seize to amuse me.

Oga Elder, what exactly is amusing about my statement?

Elder001:
ladies will always want men to accept their children which they conceived outside marriage but would never want to set their eyes on the husband's outside kids if it was the other way round. They'll go any length to kill the child yet some sentimental mods like Dominique are here berating this man because he refused to take in the child.

You are right.

This is one problem I will always have with women.

They will expect you as a man to measure up to their own standards but they will never want to measure up to your own standards.

They will want you as a man to accept their baggage but they will never even consider your baggage even for one moment not to mention accepting it.

Like I read in one red pill book, if you want to maintain your position in any relationship with a woman, make sure you hold her under the same standards that she will hold you.

Most women are selfish in relationships and always looking out for their own benefits first.

Make sure that you as a man will always be looking out for your own benefits first too.

Once a woman learns that you are not the type that will just be accepting her selfish tendencies, she will have no other option than to reset her senses to selflessness which will favour all concerned.

Simply stated, treat a woman exactly the same way she treats you.

That's how you can always maintain your position when you are in a relationship with a woman.

If all men will simply learn this rather than accepting any bullshit women throw to them all in the name of love or just allowing peace to reign, I tell you, no woman will ever think it is her right to be telling men what to do and be criticizing such men when they refuse to do it.

Elder001:
ladies will always want men to accept their children which they conceived outside marriage but would never want to set their eyes on the husband's outside kids if it was the other way round. They'll go any length to kill the child yet some sentimental mods like Dominique are here berating this man because he refused to take in the child.

i tire for them......was he there when they wer banging their lives out.. then the woman now decided to remarry after that she don trap the guy she wants to gve hm anoda mans fvck trophy. Abeggggy

TheCongo2:



How are you dealing with the baby's father?

Dealing with the dad?
If the boy was important 2 gim, he did be growing up in his House na.

I've been paying his fees, I HV been dre even at his birth.

If the Father was responsible the mum wouldn't be my fiancée.

remioshy:


Please if you love your wife truly you will love and take her daughter. I already had a daughter when I met my husband, he won my heart the moment he told me he wants to marry me and be a father to my daughter and whatever God provide for him he will take care of me and my daughter, my mother insisted I leave m6 daughter with her but my husband said no way, my daughter moved in with us the next day after our wedding. She was 5 yrs old. Fast forward to now 21 yrs later, he is the best dad I can ever wish for, my daughter loves him to bits, she confides in him more than myself, she loved him more than her biological father who is even nowhere to be found, We did not have a child of our own unfortunately but he always insisted my daughter, is enough for him, My husband is one in a million, a good man. So Man up and take the child in if you really love your wife . A child should be with her mum. Your family cannot live your life for you. My husbands family said lots of things especially my mother in law, called my husband nanny and child minder, but my husband ignores all of them. Today my daughter is the one taking care of his needs , if you don’t know us from beginning you won’t belief he is not her biological father. Yoruba proverbs says “ Eni to bini, ko to Enito wo ni dagba ”

all these blatant lies you ppl post here sha. You thnk were all kids here abi? Well if the man accepted the child like ur story suggests thats a different story but if u convonced him tht u were moving on from the child and starting a new life then different case. Why do some women leave wen they hear their husbands have kids outside...why dont u tell them to accept the kids wholeheartedly in love mtchweee. If she wants to care for her child let her free the marriage than to put tht man into unnecessary expense. Then later the child will now go bk to the dad. What rubbish

Coldfeets:


You are right.

This is one problem I will always have with women.

They will expect you as a man to measure up to their own standards but they will never want to measure up to your own standards.

They will want you as a man to accept their baggage but they will never even consider your baggage even for one moment not to mention accepting it.

Like I read in one red pill book, if you want to maintain your position in any relationship with a woman, make sure you hold her under the same standards that she will hold you.

Most women are selfish in relationships and always looking out for their own benefits first.

Make sure that you as a man will always be looking out for your own benefits first too.

Once a woman learns that you are not the type that will just be accepting her selfish tendencies, she will have no other option than to reset her senses to selflessness which will favour all concerned.

Simply stated, treat a woman exactly the same way she treats you.

That's how you can always maintain your position when you are in a relationship with a woman.

If all men will simply learn this rather than accepting any bullshit women throw to them all in the name of love or just allowing peace to reign, I tell you, no woman will ever think it is her right to be telling men what to do and be criticizing such men when they refuse to do it.

Truer words have never been said.


Most men don't have a problem with this issue but if it is the other way round the women won't want to set their eyes on the kid especially if the man is wealthy.


All these women berating the man on this thread are not normal. Instead of them to direct their grievances to the idiot who rejected his own blood they're blaming the OP.

A typical African woman can't condole what men condole every day in the family.

lielbree:

Lol. This woman would be foolish to choose a husband over her child! If she can cater for her kids and the man is not willing to accept her daughter knowing fully well that she had a child outside wedlock, then is divorce time!
The man is heartless.

the man is nt freaking heartless he owes no obligation for a child he ddnt cum for. He just entered one chance. Whay about the mans kids born in wedlock u think the court will destroy theor lives because of a child born out of wedlock. The woman should be ready to let fo off the legitimate ones and go and take care of the illegitimate. Cos of one dsyfuctional kid u destroy the lives of the rest ..and destroy the mans family. He can accept the child but the child will suffer if hes forced .

Elder001:


Truer words have never been said.

Most men don't have a problem with this issue but if it is the other way round the women won't want to set their eyes on the kid especially if the man is wealthy.

All these women berating the man on this thread are not normal. Instead of them to direct their grievances to the idiot who rejected his own blood they're blaming the OP.

A typical African woman can't condole what men condole every day in the family.

Before nko?

What did you expect these women to be doing other than supporting the foolishness of their fellow women?

You are even blaming the man the rejected his own blood.

How come no one is even blaming the wife of the man who rejected the child of her husband who has been living with the man all this while before she came along?

That will show you how wicked and terrible women are.

Do not show them any mercy.

They will never show you any mercy when the advantage lies with them

Countersam:


Ode ni yen walahi! Onye obi akpor. Tufiakwa

As you are now you may not even be potent,better learn to appreciate children.

Adopt the child na! Good Samaritan

Moji12:
please ignore him, he's actually talking out of experience, trust me

who is this one?

Coldfeets:


Before nko?

What did you expect these women to be doing other than supporting the foolishness of their fellow women?

You are even blaming the man the rejected his own blood.

How come no one is even blaming the wife of the man who rejected the child of her husband who has been living with the man all this while before she came along.

That will show you how wicked and terrible women are.

Do not show them any mercy.

They will never show you any mercy when the advantage lies with them

Don't mind foolish men here supporting rubbish!