He probable aint that good looking....if he was you wouldnt be hear meandering with us on the most polite way to reject him, that's why guys shouldnt be nice unless they are sure they wont catch feelings. If you know you like a girl dont be her big bro or best friend from the onset.

ritylove:
i feel so guilty after hearing everyword he said

please stop telling anybody everything about yourself. its dangerous.



aren't we told to marry our Best friends?



I see this as a result of your immaturity (no offense dear) you are still in the university , by the time you graduate and date more guys you'll realize that not all that glitters is gold.


There's a difference between an Hollywood movie script/ mills and boons novels and reality

this. my dear is reality


when a person becomes too available and ' too there' for us they become undesirable

The guy made a mistake in the art of seduction 101


Right now because of the love he has shown you and his over availability there's nothing left to the imagination again instead of seeing him as Romeo you see him as the elder brother you never had.

if a man can know all your trash and nonsense, good and bad , and after four years still say girl I love you then that man truly loves you.



tell me dear


his he ugly, perhaps you are attracted to handsome guys

his he short? perhaps you are attracted to tall guys

his he poor ? perhaps you are attracted to rich guys

his he soft ? perhaps you are attracted to bad guys.


during those four years has he had a girlfriend? because I know we ladies love guys who many
girls want for one reason or the other. its not our fault but a thing of genetics and desirability.




I know your dilemma . He doesn't fulfil your desire in a man.

Seriously how couldn't you see a guy likes you withing four years of knowing him. if its me within a few days of knowing someone I'll know if he likes me,is a players or doesn't even like me.


its in the words, the extra care, the eyes ,the body language etc.



please don't date anyone out of pity


with the time you are taking to think about it , change your thinking pattern . Ask for more time off if its possible. Tell him the time off is for you to make a sound judgement devoid of emotions.



maybe it will even be all through his exams and his final year project so he can focus on that.


not seeing him can make you desire him more.

now reconfigure your brain. start seeing him as a man you can spend your life with . think of how good he has been to you and compare him to your exes in each aspect. see him as desirable too.


If you both were lost on an island and he was the only man there for you to procreate with will you do it? your first reaction to this (in your brain) will tell if there's even a slim chance of being with him.

love isn't a mushy feeling o


love is in action. The mushy feeling you have for someone you just met is infatuations.

eg we love our parents a lot and appreciate them. that doesn't mean every time we see them we have butterflies in our bellies.


so to help yourself you must reconfigure your brain.


it would be a shame if after rejecting him you realize after many years that you should have accepted him and it's too late. I've heard too many stories like this.


trust me attraction is secondary when it comes to choosing a life partner.

the important things include

His spiritual life ( if you are spiritual)

can he take care of you (not only materially ,but emotionally and maybe spiritually ,)

his genotype

his family background . this is very important because if at the end of it all both families don't approve then relationship don scatter be dat. you must know if his family is one you can be married into.


If he ticks all these buttons please hold on to him o finding someone that meets everything like this is rare.

generationz:



please stop telling anybody everything about yourself. its dangerous.



aren't we told to marry our Best friends?



I see this as a result of your immaturity (no offense dear) you are still in the university , by the time you graduate and date more guys you'll realize that not all that glitters is gold.


There's a difference between an Hollywood movie script/ mills and boons novels and reality

this. my dear is reality


when a person becomes too available and ' too there' for us they become undesirable

The guy made a mistake in the art of seduction 101


Right now because of the love he has shown you and his over availability there's nothing left to the imagination again instead of seeing him as Romeo you see him as the elder brother you never had.

if a man can know all your trash and nonsense, good and bad , and after four years still say girl I love you then that man truly loves you.



tell me dear


his he ugly, perhaps you are attracted to handsome guys

his he short? perhaps you are attracted to tall guys

his he poor ? perhaps you are attracted to rich guys

his he soft ? perhaps you are attracted to bad guys.


during those four years has he had a girlfriend? because I know we ladies love guys who many
girls want for one reason or the other. its not our fault but a thing of genetics and desirability.




I know your dilemma . He doesn't fulfil your desire in a man.

Seriously how couldn't you see a guy likes you withing four years of knowing him. if its me within a few days of knowing someone I'll know if he likes me,is a players or doesn't even like me.


its in the words, the extra care, the eyes ,the body language etc.



please don't date anyone out of pity


with the time you are taking to think about it , change your thinking pattern . Ask for more time off if its possible. Tell him the time off is for you to make a sound judgement devoid of emotions.



maybe it will even be all through his exams and his final year project so he can focus on that.


not seeing him can make you desire him more.

now reconfigure your brain. start seeing him as a man you can spend your life with . think of how good he has been to you and compare him to your exes in each aspect. see him as desirable too.


If you both were lost on an island and he was the only man there for you to procreate with will you do it? your first reaction to this (in your brain) will tell if there's even a slim chance of being with him.

love isn't a mushy feeling o


love is in action. The mushy feeling you have for someone you just met is infatuations.

eg we love our parents a lot and appreciate them. that doesn't mean every time we see them we have butterflies in our bellies.


so to help yourself you must reconfigure your brain.


it would be a shame if after rejecting him you realize after many years that you should have accepted him and it's too late. I've heard too many stories like this.


trust me attraction is secondary when it comes to choosing a life partner.

the important things include

His spiritual life ( if you are spiritual)

can he take care of you (not only materially ,but emotionally and maybe spiritually ,)

his genotype

his family background . this is very important because if at the end of it all both families don't approve then relationship don scatter be dat. you must know if his family is one you can be married into.


If he ticks all these buttons please hold on to him o finding someone that meets everything like this is rare.

Gbam!

Yes or No... Things will never be the same.
I don't think the guy is slow or stupid for waiting for 4 years though.
From the guy's profile...he wouldn't have asked you if you were in a serious relationship.
You should have a very good reason other than "I don't love him" to say no. Love is sometimes overrated...and a lot of people don't even understand it. When love ends or fades in relationships, it's the friendship that sustains it.
All the best.

ritylove:
the only thing i feel here is pity i feel he wasted his time and resources on me but still i dont want loose a good friend

You want the ones the will be hitting your heart with iron,but the one that's nice to you is what you don't wanna get associated with righ?

I feel for you, you don't worth being cared for.
spits#

lilmax:
from what I gathered from this crap

he's not very intelligent, during my days of this bestie thing, I used girls like tissue,they are so vurnerable.... but I don change



well now we know why girls are being treated like trash.....

exactly, u don't ask such a girl out.

Wait for when she is vulnerable, probably after a brake up. Try to cuddle her for long and if you play ur card well u end up having seks with her.

Like some guys said.

He may not be that good looking. Or


You have seen his all, nothing left to expect.


He can't take care of ur bills if u decide to date him.



Just tell him that he's like a brother n father to you n that u like him but not in sexual way.

Gree 4ram na...the devil you knw,is better than the you dont knw

ritylove:
i wish it was as easy as you said it then i wont be sharing it here

Fvcking women. Think about your future and not your present. I know what your trying to do (Even though you would never be honest about it) you want to _whore around before you decided to settle for a nice guy. But you might not be lucky, If you think guys like that are easy to find then you're not in touch with reality Pix below explains what I mean

This smally again....fine geh tho

correctguy101:


You too dey vex, you this Plato...

Oya goan sleep..

You know he's crushing on a girl that friendzoned him so this thread hit close to home.

k

ritylove:
i feel so guilty after hearing everyword he said

You don't have to dear. Just like saying you feel guilty having a friend or brother or sister.

Except if he has been showing you the light for the long years while and you decided to ignore it and play him along due to some benefits.

But so long nothing like this, just speak to him kindly. If he is matured he will understand.

We learn everyday. He should learn the hard way.

ritylove:
i feel so guilty after hearing everyword he said

You don't have to feel guilty dear. Just like saying you feel guilty having a friend or brother or sister.

Except if he has been showing you the cue for the long years and you decided to ignore it and play him along due to some benefits.

But so long nothing like this, just speak to him kindly. If he is matured he will understand.

We learn everyday. He should learn the hard way.

ritylove:
i wish it was as easy as you said it then i wont be sharing it here

...


You Cant Force Yourself To Love Him... All You Can Do Is Tell Him The Truth So he Can Get Over It Faster

Nnaabros:
You don't love him with all his nice qualities and the way he treats you but you love all those other guys who treat you far less than he does. ?

What do you women really want?

Is love all about romantic feelings and emotions, rather than qualities and personality?

Most people never appreciate what they have until they lose it.

I still blame the guy for not laying his cards clearly on the table from the beginning, instead of acting BROTHER and FATHER to a girl for four years before telling her what you really want.

That guy dull aswear. Doing all those stuffs for a long time. Infact it's the quickest way to get into the FRIEND ZONE.

Ladies atimes can be confusing.

ritylove:
the only thing i feel here is pity i feel he wasted his time and resources on me but still i dont want loose a good friend

You are very greedy honestly. And you know all this you didn't ask questions?
You don't wanna lose a good friend? Madam you heartless o.
Why are you even confusing yourself more?

Na the yeye guy I blame sha.

God knows what he does when he sends certain people to our lives. You have met your bone of yours and flesh of yours.

You have said how everything about him compliments you , yet you dont know what to do.

let him go at your peril and know that the chances of you just managing your next man is as high as you can imagine.

And my problem is that the next guy that you will manage will be doing his best , but you will continue to compare him with this one. And his best will never be enough, yet you will come up here again and nag abt how hes not good enough or he's not a man....

Irony of life

4years that have seems like forever since bubu became president? I can't even wait for any girl for 2 months self.
if I help a girl I like on my way home I will be trying to figure out the best way to catch her.tell him you don't want him so he can become wise but I know you will regret losing him
if I were you I will even marry this guy. this love of a thing is really doing damage to this world.
you can have the best marriage when it is free of this modern type of love.when everyone knows what is expected of them and doing everything to make it work instead of hiding behind one useless thing call love

highqueen:

You want the ones the will be hitting your heart with iron,but the one that's nice to you is what you don't wanna get associated with righ?

I feel for you, you don't worth being cared for.
spits#

Many are like that. I blame the guy.

Odunharry:

Many are like that. I blame the guy.

she obviously wants the one with jeep and huge money that will take her as shiit.

donbachi:
Gree 4ram na...the devil you knw,is better than the you dont knw

Abeg mk she no gree o. She no love am and she don talk am.

Make she no date out of pity

highqueen:

she obviously wants the one with jeep and huge money that will take her as shiit.

Who knows. She may still be naive and full of youthful exuberance probably waiting for Mr Perfect(the type in Telemundos and fairy tales). She has everything other ladies will kill for, yet she's still doing shakara.


I just pity the guy sha. The guy should just forget her and focus on something else or look for someone who will reciprocate that feeling too.

ritylove:
I am a very gregarious or rather should i say a social individual,i keep alot of company but my actual real friends circle is pretty small,i actually never bought this male bestie of a thing from the onset because i felt it was thrash and irrelevant to me, i was satisfied with my girlfriends around,but during my 100 level in the university there was this particular guy i met then i was still a fresher i never knew much about the school he helped me alot with my clearance,getting a place to stay,showing me around school with alot of stuffs too numerous to mention here.

As time goes on suprisingly we started getting very close much more closer than i ever expected he was very nice and caring to me,sometimes he acts like my dad he is the only male friend i have who dares scold me in my wrong doings as time goes on before i could even realize it he was the closest to me among all my friends he was always there for me when i needed someone even when i dont he was there. We became so close i started confiding in him alot,i even told him stuffs i cant tell my mum we got so close he knows almost everything about me,everyone av dated,whom am dating,my breakups,my sex life,my kind of guy,my attitude towards dating,how i reason, even before saying something he has an idea of what am about to say,this guy knows my girlcode to the freaking core there is hardly anything i can hide from him,he has being of great assistance to me always forcing me to read my books and forget social medias,the truth is that he is the major reason for my drastic improvement academically, i was always at the receiving end,there is hardly anything i do for him yet he stayed i realized i needed him more than he needed me.


it all started few days ago as usual we just left from an eatery store heading back home he decided to drop by my place to charge his pc which he was using for his finals project work since there area had light issues,fast forward to when we got home there it goes we were talking as usual then all of a sudden he started saying stuffs how he feels about me all this while but only kept it to himself after hearing him speak for almost 3hours i was totally confused i didnt say anything i just starred at him the whole time till he finished ,noticing my silience he then asked me what i had to say about what i just heared,i had no idea on what to say i was totally confused i have never seen him this serious my entire life,in an attempt to escape the moment and look on his face i told him to give me sometime to dissolve all what i have heard after which he left.

Now am put in one of the most difficult situations i have ever being he is a very nice person,one of the nicest guys i have met yet he treats me better than anyone else, he treats me better than anyone am dating words can hardly explain i like him alot but i dont think i love or have any feelings or so for him this a guy who waited almost 4yrs to ask me out,a guy who knows me better than all my friends,i feel this guy knows too much and am scared he might use that against me one way or the other after all he has done for me i feel i owe him more, i cant look him in the eyes and tell him that i dont love him,i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want to loose him either cux he is my bestfriend i dont want to look like the bad person in front of everyone else but pleasing him here means displeasing myself i dont know what to do anymore cux i dont want to hurt anyones feeling, have being avoiding his calls and text cux i dont know what to say please i need a sincere and modest advice here what can i do in this situation i dont want anyones feelings getting hurt.

Give me his number . Let me tell him how he should and can move on if you dont date him

when everything start you no tell us...na now wey problem dey you feel say make we know...aunty,so in this 21st century you believe in bestie of the opposite sex that was your first mistake

highqueen:

she obviously wants the one with jeep and huge money that will take her as shiit.

...

Maybe The Guy Is Not Cute

the question is, what are you willing to do for him now that it has come to this.

ritylove:
i feel so guilty after hearing everyword he said

If you're still young, then I understand how your mind works. The fact that you don't want him now is understandable. You are going to regret it later on, but that is what life is all about; being young, making mistakes and learning from them. Although, there are mistakes you can't recover from. So, choose your mistakes wisely.

ritylove:
I am a very gregarious or rather should i say a social individual,i keep alot of company but my actual real friends circle is pretty small,i actually never bought this male bestie of a thing from the onset because i felt it was thrash and irrelevant to me, i was satisfied with my girlfriends around,but during my 100 level in the university there was this particular guy i met then i was still a fresher i never knew much about the school he helped me alot with my clearance,getting a place to stay,showing me around school with alot of stuffs too numerous to mention here.

As time goes on suprisingly we started getting very close much more closer than i ever expected he was very nice and caring to me,sometimes he acts like my dad he is the only male friend i have who dares scold me in my wrong doings as time goes on before i could even realize it he was the closest to me among all my friends he was always there for me when i needed someone even when i dont he was there. We became so close i started confiding in him alot,i even told him stuffs i cant tell my mum we got so close he knows almost everything about me,everyone av dated,whom am dating,my breakups,my sex life,my kind of guy,my attitude towards dating,how i reason, even before saying something he has an idea of what am about to say,this guy knows my girlcode to the freaking core there is hardly anything i can hide from him,he has being of great assistance to me always forcing me to read my books and forget social medias,the truth is that he is the major reason for my drastic improvement academically, i was always at the receiving end,there is hardly anything i do for him yet he stayed i realized i needed him more than he needed me.


it all started few days ago as usual we just left from an eatery store heading back home he decided to drop by my place to charge his pc which he was using for his finals project work since there area had light issues,fast forward to when we got home there it goes we were talking as usual then all of a sudden he started saying stuffs how he feels about me all this while but only kept it to himself after hearing him speak for almost 3hours i was totally confused i didnt say anything i just starred at him the whole time till he finished ,noticing my silience he then asked me what i had to say about what i just heared,i had no idea on what to say i was totally confused i have never seen him this serious my entire life,in an attempt to escape the moment and look on his face i told him to give me sometime to dissolve all what i have heard after which he left.

Now am put in one of the most difficult situations i have ever being he is a very nice person,one of the nicest guys i have met yet he treats me better than anyone else, he treats me better than anyone am dating words can hardly explain i like him alot but i dont think i love or have any feelings or so for him this a guy who waited almost 4yrs to ask me out,a guy who knows me better than all my friends,i feel this guy knows too much and am scared he might use that against me one way or the other after all he has done for me i feel i owe him more, i cant look him in the eyes and tell him that i dont love him,i dont want to hurt his feelings and i dont want to loose him either cux he is my bestfriend i dont want to look like the bad person in front of everyone else but pleasing him here means displeasing myself i dont know what to do anymore cux i dont want to hurt anyones feeling, have being avoiding his calls and text cux i dont know what to say please i need a sincere and modest advice here what can i do in this situation i dont want anyones feelings getting hurt.

Bros, hope you can learn from her story.

1. If a girl loves you she loves you, it doesn't matter how long you try to be friends "getting to know each other"

2. Being nice to a girl doesn't guarantee her love, so for those trying to impress a girl financially keep up the good work you preparing her for guys like me.

3. Always open up, don't waste your time waiting for the perfect moment. Throw your key sharply is either 1 or 0.


If you notice the players are the ones who happen to marry the best wives.

To the poster, I guess he isn't physically attractive for your taste perhaps there is someone you have an eye on.

Girls should know there are no male bestie, he's just a guy waiting for you to be vulnerable so he can strike.

Just give a good dose of sexx as parting gift.. Then tell him you can't date him...
END OF DISCUSSION

IamPlato:
...


Can You Please Shut Up With The "Nice Guy" shiit?


If I Love A Girl, I Can Never Make Her A Close Friend I Will be Advicing like I'm Her Father. Am I Mad?


The Guy Made A Big Mistake because When It Comes To Ladies this Is How It Ends When You Make Yourself a Brother And Father bullshiit...


Too Much Of Everything Is Bad. He Has Given His All To You. You Don See Am Finish... No Mystery About Him, he Has Been The Nicest fvck up Nigga...


Dont Waste His Time, tell Him You Dont Love and Dont Forget To Add "I See You As My Elder Brother". He Can Go And Kill Himself If thats The Solution

If it shld be u in his shoes, hw wld u feel?