Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

Tell him you want him to leave. It's your house. It's time you started acting like it is.

I'm not gonna put up with someone on the expense of my own comfort and sanity. I can't afford that

Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

Whatever you decided to do,do it with maturity,don't make him feel like he's a failure or no good before leaving.
Believe me that guy can be someone who will help you tomorrow.
Believe me bro,I have seen a grown ass man who once beg for N20(many years ago) become rich and was even helping others. No condition is permanent,not yours not his.

Reader530:

I told him, he said no problem, he can stay with her. I told him, I will travel he said, I should give him the key, he can manage the house even in my absence.

Give him more time to arrange his self,,, sometimes try and inconvenience yourself for a friend. Such friends don't tend to forget easily when things goes well for them.

Just help him.

Very simple just tell him or her in pidgin "guy I dey travel in 3 days time and I wan hol my key" . This was how someone evicted me from his house few years back when I overstayed my welcome. I was like really and he said yes. I started looking for a room immediately . I can never forget that encounter.

kimbraa:
I don't understand. It doesn't seem like he has even stayed up to a month, and you're already complaining of privacy. I think he's going through a lot and a good friend would be understanding. I'm not trying to blackmail you whatsoever, I just think you shouldn't spoil the goodness you've started. Your best option is getting him tell you the state of things, and how long he would be staying.

Wow..i hated you with passion,.infact because of the insults i gave you...my old account was banned till 2028...but seeing this qoute from you has realy made me regret all those bad things i said to you..although u never can tell what the guy might be enduring so far...but that quote there can only come out from a good heart..a kind heart...am saying sorry to you now..we need people like you






Nothing is guaranteed actually

lolaluv1:
Lesson to all: An unwanted visitor, like bad fish, starts to stink after 3 days (African proverb).

Rather harsh but there is some truth in it.

But really I fear some people o! How them go just tanda for a colleague house day after day, no be say una be of the same parents. Na WA!

Maybe it's because I'm a very private person, but I'm not sure I can stay beyond a few days at a colleagues house and not contribute anything. I would be VERY uncomfortable.

At worse I go back to my papa house. �

alezzy13:


Rather harsh but there is some truth in it.

But really I fear some people o! How them go just tanda for a colleague house day after day, no be say una be of the same parents. Na WA!

Hey bro, pray you don't encounter problem that's more than you.

9japrof:
The best suggestion is look him in the eye and tell him you can't accommodate him no more. Make him understand that he has inconvenienced you and you can no longer put up with him. Give him a reasonable timeline and stick with it and make it short.

For example

"Bros with all due respect as my guy, the truth is that your staying here wasn't planned snd budgeted, but your still staying here has been a burden to me, my finances and privacy, so considering all these factors I am deciding that in a day time you find another alternative please cos you would no longer be welcomed here and i mean it ( make sure you maintain eye contact)

Atleast its now clear to me that majority of the advice from nairalanders can be trash...just look at wht dis one is yapping here...and in ur mind u made a valid point..you think he will be stranded forever....wht if end up needing the same help from him tmao...wch mouth u go use ask am...sometimes u do tinz diplomatically..infact its better to be kind than clever..

Oga wen u start weitin u no go fit finish we de there? So make we tell u how to scatter u and ur friend friendship abi?

To say the truth,it might be very hard to express your feelings to your friend but every1 for his/her life

No friend and foe on a long run

just reason am maturely to undestand your issue,surely if he is a good friend,he will understand and comply







OTHERWISE.....................

Curry30:
Son, you don't need to debate this.

Look the mofo in the eye and say "Nyukka you gotta go"

Shiit son, nyukkas be so soft these days!!!

Nykka i pray that u dnt find urself in a homeless situation... I really pray

Reader530:

I told him, he said no problem, he can stay with her. I told him, I will travel he said, I should give him the key, he can manage the house even in my absence.

Guy u are funny wat do you mean by I told he said he can manage??

see next time, (if there will be any) go to ur friend with surprise like: oboi wen u dey leave??

my babe just called oo
she say she dey come spend two weeks here...
I dey try tell her say I get visitor but she still insist oo
she say e be like say I camp girl for house nai make I no wan allow her come...

dis way he will tell u wen he is leaving and if he is adamant, still play along tell ur babe to come
tell her to complain bitterly that she cannot stay in the same room with two guys
in fact she can even stay late outside the room
den reluctantly go in and sleep..
see eh the next day him go back off...
that way he won't see it as ur fault..

LMAO just make him feel uncomfortable

chicoMX:
How can you be feeding three times a day in this buhari regime?

sometimes idle people eat more....

Awon ore oshi. They only remember you when they're in problem.

talktimi:
hire a girl that'll come and harass you for the "100k you borrowed" two months ago, she'll promise to arrest you and "your brother" within 48 hours if she doesn't see her money. Tell oga to move his things that you're travelling the next day and you want to lock your door

lol

@ Reader530 , just tell him that you will b travelling to a far away place. Maybe to Togo for business in d next two days. If he doesn't take u too serious (cause is type won't...speaking from experience), on dat very purported day u r travelling, pack ur bag and baggage and go over 2 a friend's place unknown to dat stubborn dude.
If he tells u to drop ur key that he still wants to stay, tell him u r not comfortable with that.
I've handled worst scenarios, my brother.
NB: be sure he leaves ur house before u return. In fact, monitor him with calls codedly.

I just dey boil as I dey read dis stuff. Oga, start parking ur stuff tonight. Tell him u r leaving in d next two days. Make it look real...fake calls wit d people u r a about to meet.

Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

Tell him you don't have any money again that he has to contribute to his own upkeep. Hopefully he will open up to you when you start asking him for money and he will tell you what is really going on and what his plans are.

Babyforever:
Look him straight into the eyes and tell him you've over stayed your welcome

....stating an ultimatum.

Help him get a job and start earning his own money.

For those still looking for a job or need easy HR solutions, join the world's smartest job network www.bejite.com today. Find jobs easily, recruit smartly. Sign up and update your CV and profile. Connect to recruiters and employers. Sign up now. It is free.

Allow him to stay for 1 more year, then he will get tired and leave.....

Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

Op. If only you were truthful to yourself.. Smh.
The guy is not your friend, period... If he was, you would not have brought it to nairaland. If the guy is a true friend, then, a reason to leave your house in the first place won't come up in your head..

Just find a way to send him away so that the fake friendship can end between you guys..

Respect to true friends... Always there for friends in need..

No wonder, I no dey keep pretending guys as friends..

If I call you my guy, then I go help you wella if I get the means...


If na your guy then talk to am..

Relax ur mind....I know its not easy

I'm sure he is also not comfortable being a pest in ur life and probably trying his best to shorten his stay.

Be a good friend...Help him,Give him time...He will leave ur house one day

Look for a sharp cutlass then light your weed and tell him GUY IT EITHER YOU KILL ME TODAY OR I KILL YOU.

kimbraa:
I don't understand. It doesn't seem like he has even stayed up to a month, and you're already complaining of privacy. I think he's going through a lot and a good friend would be understanding. I'm not trying to blackmail you whatsoever, I just think you shouldn't spoil the goodness you've started. Your best option is getting him tell you the state of things, and how long he would be staying.

Madam, na money matter o.....npower salary is 30k. I m sure if he's contributing to the daily expenses he won't chase him

Quiescere:


If "he can stay even for a year", then why're you complaining? In your OP you said "you're tired" (likely of feeding him 3x daily and giving him money), "want to be alone" and "want him to leave in a pleasant manner". Now "he can stay for even a year". You seem confused.

Why can't you just invite him over and continue from from here.

Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

I have taken time to read your post and people's responses. Brother, don't chase him out. Don't lie to him that you want to travel. The problem you have is that he is draining your meagre resources. This is understandable, call him, you are men. Explain things to him and tell him to come clean with you. You never can tell what will happen tomorrow. You have started very well and don't spoil it with small thing.

I can give you minimum of five examples but I don't have time now. Just accommodate him, okay

Reader530:
Good day nairalanders. I want a sincere advice from you people.

A friend visited me almost two weeks ago. He has never visited me before, but when he came I thought he would not spent more than two days because apart from the cloth he was wearing the day he came, he didn't bring additional cloth, no brush, no soap, etc.

At first, he told me he can stay with me even up to a month with one cloth. He said, besides, he was sacked from his work.

Today, he forgot that he told me he was sacked; but he told me that he is on annual leave. The father asked him to come home for burial of his relative but he told me he would not go. I told him Npower has not paid us, but I will source for his transport, but he doesn't understand me. He thought, I will give him the whole money even if Npower pays, all the money I planned and budgeted for his coming was exhausted. I added some money to make sure he eats good meal thrice in a day.

In a nutshell, I am tired, I want to be alone for now. How should I tell him I want him to leave in a pleasant manner. Please positive advice will be highly appreciated.

Thanks all

Bro, I think as a man, you need to call him and explain situation of things at the moment for him politely, don't allow your wife to be involved bcox women are always deadly in this type of situation...they can spoil the good friendship btw two best friends and mind you, always remember that "A friend in need is a friend indeed" and the person scouting with you today might control a whole state tomoro...its wot u do today that would speak for you tomoro....i was such a victim like 3 weeks ago...i travelled to Lagos having it in my mind not to spend more than a week in my friends house which he built by himself...bt unfortunately I spent more than a month,....he travelled back to abroad leaving me and his wife and some of their families at home...he dropped me a message rudely that I only said I won't use more than a week bt now it's getting close to 2 months In which I have not even tell him wen exactly I will leave...i felt embarrassed bcox I blv b4 he taking such action, he should ask himself....is dis guy a family man, does this guy have his own apartment too...though, I'm not as rich as him but I left my wife and my 3 bedroom flat which I build with my own money too...which I blv his brain supposed to tell him dat dos guy can not leave all that to continue to stay with him if he has actually finished wot he came to do in Lagos....meanwhile, I have been the one accommodating his wife in my hoise during her service year (NYSC) cox she was posted in my state....ans weneva she wants to leave, I would be the one telling her not to leave yet....so before you take any action bro, ask yourself some questions...u guys might be taking garri togeda today blv me, u can never tell what lies ahead of him tomoro and remember "woteva you sow, u shall reap". It's either u take him to a bar house, there, you would be able to explain to him every situation of things and what you are also passing through financially....never ask him when he is going to leave...he is matured, with dat he will grab ur message

Telling him shouldn't be something that's bothering u..every well meaning Nigerian knows how difficult the country is even for some rich pple, to not come n add their own burden to them. You have done ur best, try n get the money for his transport to the burial first n then tell him that you have spent so much since he came n that he shd try n go for the burial while u use the time to recover from expenses n find your feet again as their r personal projects u r pursuing that needs finances too.
Then next time tell him the capacity u can accommodate a friend is just maximum two days that u r not buoyant enough for extra mouth in a long time. If he chooses not to understand then cut him off as a friend.. easy.. pple are prone to ingratitude anyway so what ever u do for them don't expect gratitude too.
He can come if he gets a job n Willing to share expenses with u

Ask him to start paying rent and for food.




It always works.