Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,148,375 members, 7,800,750 topics. Date: Thursday, 18 April 2024 at 05:35 AM

Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? - Romance - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? (33257 Views)

10 Important Things You Should Know About A Platonic Relationship / 7 Nigerian Women On Platonic Friendships With Men / What Is The Extent Of Financial Help You Can Offer A Platonic Friend? (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply) (Go Down)

Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by hotwax: 8:58am On Aug 17, 2018
This topic has been controversial from time immemorial.

Here is my take on the matter. Feel free to express your opinions.
Based on my life experiences, I got to know that most ‘just friends’ friendship between opposite sex end up as a smoke screen. Below are what I observed.

1. Most guys will pretend to be ‘just friends’ with girls that turned down their sexual advance. They do this to stay connected with the lady in case opportunity will resurface again. They are like lions laying in waiting, hiding, monitoring a stubborn antelope. Some of them are masters of this pretence that the lady will not suspect anything. This lady will trust them to the extent of even sleeping in their houses.
At the end, these girls fall victim of forceful sexual intercourse, sex under influence of chemical/alcohol or emotional trauma.

E.g, A lady I approached sometimes ago, turned me down. We agreed to be ‘just friends’. One day, she had a disagreement with his guy to the extent of physical assault. She cried to my house. As we were talking through the night, one thing led to another, we had sex.
This is one major reason when my girlfriend tells me a guy is her best friend, I frown at it. In fact I can end that relationship because of it.

2. My uncle’s wife had a man friend ‘just friend’, which nearly rattled his marriage. She is always on phone with this man. They even go out to have dinner together. Even I was pissed off personally but could not express my opinion in someone else’s marriage. She was always playing the jealousy card. My uncle is jealous blahblah. The matter later came to an end when her parents called her to order. They told her that when a woman is married, the only best friend she should have is her husband. Her best friends before getting married should maintain distance if they are responsible except they are nurturing bad intentions too.

3. Young girls these days have mastered the art of queuing up guys. When they are in serious relationship, they friend-zones their toasters and keep communicating with them. When they have little disagreement in their serious relationships, they upgrade the next guy in the friend-zone to bed mate. They don’t make effort to make their failing relationship work because they know they have a queue of guys on their whatsap.

What they don’t realize is that these guys also moved on to the next girl when she turned them down the first time. So when the girl resurface again, they accept her as a bonus “extra p*ssy”. When the relationship breaks down again, they go on social media and rant on how men are dogs, men are liars, men cannot be trusted, they prefer to stay single. Anyways, this is out of scope for this discussion.

4. I had a girlfriend in the past, she made me realize we are not dating because she had a serious relationship. But we played one day and mistakenly had sex. And after that we had sex multiple times. And she keeps ringing it in my ear that we are not dating. She even introduced me to her man as her best friend ‘just friends’

In conclusion, I am not saying being friends with opposite sex is bad, but distance should be maintain if no-dating clause is there. Maintain minimum visits and contacts. Some guys will says “I can’t be taking you out to eateries, spending on you without getting anything back”. So girls, watch your back, nothing is free in freeland.

102 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by kinibigdil: 9:02am On Aug 17, 2018
What is even proper in relationship this days anymore, a lady said if she's dating or single depends on how her partner is behaving at the moment, No 3 is the problem of most relationships this days, wo Na olosho all of us go marry last last lol, Na who them catch be thief!

62 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by hotwax: 10:37am On Aug 17, 2018
kinibigdil:
What is even proper in relationship this days anymore, a lady said if she's dating or single depends on how her partner is behaving at the moment, No 3 is the problem of most relationships this days, wo Na olosho all of us go marry last last lol, Na who them catch be thief!

eh tire me.

13 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by mrbaba18(m): 11:31am On Aug 17, 2018
I cal it chain luv cus all of us are in a chain cycle just check it u luv ur gal frnd bt ur gal frnd luv another guy nd dat guy luv another gal nd dat gal luv another guy so enjoy life dnt take it serious

30 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by hotwax: 11:45am On Aug 17, 2018
mrbaba18:
I cal it chain luv cus all of us are in a chain cycle just check it u luv ur gal frnd bt ur gal frnd luv another guy nd dat guy luv another gal nd dat gal luv another guy so enjoy life dnt take it serious

I dont have any problem with that. But our female folks always bad mouth guys as if guys are the evil. We are in the chain together. No one is saint here

14 Likes

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by ImaIma1(f): 11:51am On Aug 17, 2018
So what happens to her male friends she had when she was single?

Not everyone can handle it but i see nothing wrong with it as long as she knows how to manage it.

Modified!!

Everyone suddenly quoting me and talking ignorantly.

Am i supposed to ignore male colleagues and guys generally because i am married?

FYI, my hubby maintained his female friends and it is not an issue.
You guys just calm down!!!

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by nadalion: 12:35pm On Aug 17, 2018
Op, that was an educative Post.

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by Olalan(m): 12:41pm On Aug 17, 2018
When you 're married certain relationships are not to be maintained if the marriage is respected.
BTW even as a guy once my female friend is married I immediately tone down on the level of communication

34 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by Jokerman(m): 12:47pm On Aug 17, 2018
ImaIma1:
So what happens to her male friends she had when she was single?

Not everyone can handle it but i see nothing wrong with it as long as she knows how to manage it.

Then you ain't ready for marriage....

59 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by hotwax: 12:48pm On Aug 17, 2018
nadalion:
Op, that was an educative Post?

Yeah

1 Like

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by donbachi(m): 1:11pm On Aug 17, 2018
Some e-wanksters and monitoring spirits in nairaland..will never see anything good about this post....nice one.

5 Likes

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by nadalion: 1:15pm On Aug 17, 2018
hotwax:

Are you asking me?
edited, please modify your quote.
Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by ImaIma1(f): 1:22pm On Aug 17, 2018
Jokerman:


Then you ain't ready for marriage....


I am married and i have male friends undecided tongue

Nobody said all our friends have to be same sex.

13 Likes

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by hotwax: 1:42pm On Aug 17, 2018
ImaIma1:


I am married and i have male friends undecided tongue

Nobody said all our friends have to be same sex.

No problem with having friends. We all need friends in life.

But the question is. Do you trust those friends? Are you sure they are not after you to pounce on you when opportunity shows up? Do you know their intention?

Or we should ask you.

What is your intention with those friends?

The rate at which married women engage in office romance these days, you wonder whats they really understand by the word "Just friends"

16 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by Cholls(m): 1:51pm On Aug 17, 2018
ImaIma1:
So what happens to her male friends she had when she was single?

Not everyone can handle it but i see nothing wrong with it as long as she knows how to manage it.

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by ImaIma1(f): 1:53pm On Aug 17, 2018
hotwax:


No problem with having friends. We all need friends in life.

But the question is. Do you trust those friends? Are you sure they are not after you to pounce on you when opportunity shows up? Do you know their intention?

Or we should ask you.

What is your intention with those friends?

The rate at which married women engage in office romance these days, you wonder whats they really understand by the word "Just friends"


Maybe because people do not understand friendships. I have always had more male friends than females.

It is just like asking what my intentions are with my female friends. You expect me to avoid talking to or mixing up with my male colleagues but just the female ones.

Well, maybe some people only think about sex when it comes to the opposite sex. That is their mindset, not mine.

The married women that cheated with whoever did so because they decided to. They don't need to have male friends. They could have all female friends and still cheat with the only male they happen to meet.

38 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by Nobody: 1:56pm On Aug 17, 2018
A married man or woman who keeps opposite sex as close friend is already cheating emotionally and the real deal is only one pole away because one day, it will surely happen.

If you wanna hang out with a guy, why not marry him, why marry a completely different man from the type you like?

87 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by hotwax: 1:56pm On Aug 17, 2018
ImaIma1:


Maybe because people do not understand friendships. I have always had more male friends than females.

It is just like asking what my intentions are with my female friends. You expect me to avoid talking to or mixing up with my male colleagues but just the female ones.

Well, maybe some people only think about sex when it comes to the opposite sex. That is their mindset, not mine.

The married women that cheated with whoever did so because they decided to. They don't need to have male friends. They could have all female friends and still cheat with the only male they happen to meet.

But its quite unfortunate that 90% of men think about sex when they see opposite sex especially none blood relatives.

Friendship is best for same sex. But for opposite, care should be taken. Men can pretend for life.

FYI. This post is about "best friends" and not friends.

You can have many male friends who you dont meet or go out together. Maybe just at work or on whatsap. This is not in the scope of this discussion. We are talking about best friends.

11 Likes

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by hotwax: 1:57pm On Aug 17, 2018
MajorJeffery:
A married man or woman who keeps opposite sex as close friend is already cheating emotionally and the real deal is only one pole away because one day, it will surely happen.

If you wanna hang out with a guy, why not marry him, why marry a completely different man from the type you like?

You got the point.

11 Likes

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by Jokerman(m): 2:01pm On Aug 17, 2018
ImaIma1:


I am married and i have male friends undecided tongue

Nobody said all our friends have to be same sex.

"platonic"

3 Likes

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by ImaIma1(f): 2:08pm On Aug 17, 2018
hotwax:


But its quite unfortunate that 90% of men think about sex when they see opposite sex especially none blood relatives.

Friendship is best for same sex. But for opposite, care should be taken. Men can pretend for life.

FYI. This post is about "best friends" and not friends.

You can have many male friends who you dont meet or go out together. Maybe just at work or on whatsap. This is not in the scope of this discussion. We are talking about best friends.



Your post said nothing about "best friends" but "just friends" but it is fine if that is the story you want to stick to.

3 Likes

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by ImaIma1(f): 2:10pm On Aug 17, 2018
Jokerman:


"platonic"


Teutonic

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by hotwax: 2:25pm On Aug 17, 2018
ImaIma1:


Your post said nothing about "best friends" but "just friends" but it is fine if that is the story you want to stick to.

"They told her that when a woman is married, the only best friend she should have is her husband. Her best friends before getting married should maintain distance if they are responsible except they are nurturing bad intentions too."

Thats a copy from my post

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by Nobody: 2:28pm On Aug 17, 2018
Nigerian men don't want their wives to have male friends but they think it's okay for them to keep female friends themselves . Women have indeed suffered very much in the hands of Nigerian men.

SMH

24 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by Nobody: 2:31pm On Aug 17, 2018
hotwax:


"They told her that when a woman is married, the only best friend she should have is her husband. Her best friends before getting married should maintain distance if they are responsible except they are nurturing bad intentions too."

Thats a copy from my post

But a man is allowed to have a best friend?

4 Likes

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by victorian(f): 2:39pm On Aug 17, 2018
When there are set boundaries and self control between a married lady and her male friends , there is nothing wrong having a married male friend who believes in respecting his marital vows to his wife.
It's all about using the brain coupled with having a conscience.

7 Likes

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by hotwax: 2:44pm On Aug 17, 2018
Hanseel1:


But a man is allowed to have a best friend?

Why will a responsible man have female as best friend?

Its a precursor to cheating

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by hotwax: 2:45pm On Aug 17, 2018
victorian:
When there are set boundaries and self control between a married lady and her male friends , there is nothing wrong having a married male friend who believes in respecting his marital vows to his wife.
It's all about using the brain coupled with having a conscience.

Yes. thats what female friends tell me before they mistakenly open their legs. AFter doing it, they will say its the devil

22 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by Nobody: 2:49pm On Aug 17, 2018
hotwax:


Why will a responsible man have female as best friend?

Its a precursor to cheating

Change your mentality , it's wrong.

We are in 2018 not 1980. It's people like you that can't stay in the same house with a lady without having sex with her cry

12 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Proper For A Married Woman To Have A Platonic Male Friend? by victorian(f): 3:04pm On Aug 17, 2018
hotwax:


Yes. thats what female friends tell me before they mistakenly open their legs. AFter doing it, they will say its the devil





Not all ladies are like your female friends.
My lawyer is a married man, we are good friends and he has not slept with me nor even made any attempt to.

My best friend's husband is like a big brother to me, a senior official in FIRS, we became close through my best friend , when she introduced us during her engagement. He's from my state, our village is close, while my best friend is a Yoruba lady. He helps me professionally ,in short we are this close but it has never occured to me, to betray my friend and have sex with her husband.. Not even the devil can trick me on that. Am a fairer version of his wife but he has never hit on me.
And He knows I will never hit on him.. The respect I have towards him will fall below low, if he tries any hanky panky move. In fact none of us drink, so we can't blame alcohol. Our senses and Brains are up to date.

In short we are better off as family friends.

People should stop blaming Devil for everything.. And take responsibility for once!

23 Likes

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (Reply)

Orphan Who Was Impregnanted By Nigerian Boy In Ghana, Shares Her Story. Photos / PHOTO: Lady Caught Having Sex With A Mad Man / Quiet Reserved Guys VS Loud Outgoing Guys, Your Pick

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 49
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.