Confused on how to say this.
There's this girl I really like we have been dating for awhile she's supposed to be the perfect woman for me but she is a victim of paedophilic rape
She was raped by a neighbor for weeks when she was 8 years old.
The issue now is whenever I try to have sex with her the minute there's penetration she starts crying and is thrown back to when she was being violated
She feels she needs to see the man who raped her so that she can get closure but she doesn't want to bring up the issue with her parents because it almost tore their family apart
Am in need of a way to help this girl. She's a good person and deserves a good life and a good family in the future but this needs to be dealt with so that she can have that
I don't know if I can be able to get someone for her to talk to preferably in Benin
Although she's unwilling to talk to anyone because she's afraid her secret will get out there and she doesn't want the stigma that comes with it
Somebody please help me help her
And mods push this to the front page ASAP
Abeg help a brother

Take her to a Psychiatrist

How old is she?

It's sad that you guys probably cannot afford a competent psychiatrist. Have you tried talking to her about it? Like actually getting her to really talk about it in graphic details. Once you get her to do that, you've broken down the wall she's built over time.


Please ehn, when it all works out for good, try not to break her heart, OK? If you can't, just leave her alone.

Earthbound:
How old is she?

It's sad that you guys probably cannot afford a competent psychiatrist. Have you tried talking to her about it? Like actually getting her to really talk about it in graphic details. Once you get her to do that, you've broken down the wall she's built over time.


Please ehn, when it all works out for good, try not to break her heart, OK? If you can't, just leave her alone.

the way some of you shout, go and see a doctor or psychiatrist, as tho its not money or things are that rosy in this country. No he can't afford it, that's why he brought it to the public to seek alternative help.

Tyler349:
Confused on how to say this.
There's this girl I really like we have been dating for awhile she's supposed to be the perfect woman for me but she is a victim of paedophilic rape
She was raped by a neighbor for weeks when she was 8 years old.
The issue now is whenever I try to have sex with her the minute there's penetration she starts crying and is thrown back to when she was being violated
She feels she needs to see the man who raped her so that she can get closure but she doesn't want to bring up the issue with her parents because it almost tore their family apart
Am in need of a way to help this girl. She's a good person and deserves a good life and a good family in the future but this needs to be dealt with so that she can have that
I don't know if I can be able to get someone for her to talk to preferably in Benin
Although she's unwilling to talk to anyone because she's afraid her secret will get out there and she doesn't want the stigma that comes with it
Somebody please help me help her
And mods push this to the front page ASAP
Abeg help a brother

I would have loved to help you talk to her, buh she might end up liking me..Nevertheless, she has gone through a very sad experience in her childhood,so never blame her for how she behaves atimes..She just needs to forget the basterd and move on..I will advise you to cancel penetrative sex for now and carry out more pre-intimacy...With time she will get used to your body and tag along...dont force her to do what she doesnt wana do though.. be a cool cat.

This is sad, two of my friends have opened up to me about how they were raped as children; one moved past the experience, the other still hasn't but I don't think its a good idea for her to see the man, it may end up doing her more harm than good especially if the man is unrepentant.

A stress disorder is not something to play with,I hope it does not degenerate to depression. Just be a good friend to her let her see men in a beautiful different perspective from what lingers in her soul. Doctors do not have the answers to every health or mental problem. Most times love cures what expensive medication cannot cure.

I wrote a post yesterday about a visit to a hospital with a senior colleague .Part of the outcome of that visit was that the consultant told her she had to have sex despite the fact that she is in her mid fifties .I was shocked when I heard the consultant say it. Show your girl love and affection I am confident it will go a long way.I also hope she loves you back in return so that you don't get worn out while helping her.

Best of luck.