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Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity - Romance - Nairaland

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Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:07am On Sep 16, 2018
lately, especially this week, i have had gotten complaints from a few of my female friends who are dealing with unfaithful spouses. I am sick and tired hence let me shake this table.


 I am not going to tell you that it is your fault your husband cheated, i here to tell you what to do when you have evidence that he does.

You have two options, cry it out like a weakling or be angry, then calm down and do something about it which is either to bury your head like an ostrich and deceive yourself in prayer that God will fight for you when jesus comes or fight for your marriage like a badass.


My advice is never for the faint of heart, read at your risk!!



The main reason a man cheats on a woman is because he doesn't respect her anymore, forget the bullshit propaganda  going on that they can still love you and cheat or men are polygamous. See babes, you have to give a man a reason to respect you, even if you are a housewife, be the type of woman that before a man cheats he has to pray hard that you never find out or he is a dead man. So act unpredictable once in a while, stop being so emotional, that is what men count on.


Another reason women don't deal with their cheating lovers is because they think they have everything to lose. Do away with that mentality, it is what kept women of old in a  bondage of a relationship/marriage and makes them bitter, spiteful mother -in- laws.  The first step to getting what you want is to be shameless about it. Shameless people who have nothing to lose are the ones who succeed. How do you think the side chick got your lover, by being holier than thou? Don't let people especially the relations guilt trip you with the children, your womb, your biological clock or whatever. It is either you get him or no one does.


If you catch them in your bed don't react, as hard as it is , this is the best course of action . Act like you never saw them. This is simple reverse psychology. Fear will make him beg you. If he doesn't repent, keep reading.


If you gather evidence such as texts, calls, chats or email, save the number, we will use it later.  First we will focus on the man. We are not going to fight or argue with him, our next course of action will make him wish we did. Marriage  is like a garden, there will be weeds if the gardener is asleep. The best way to weed without hurting the plants is to scatter their relationship.


We have to ask ourselves, what does both your cheating lover or the side chick want  so as to guide us further, is she a gold digger, remove money from their equation.

Does he want to feel like he can perform, especially if he is the the community public toilet . Find ways to show him you are not cool with it.


Is she pregnant for him, be creative.


All in all, make sure that your lover feels like he has nothing left outside the marriage so that he can come crawling back to you. You have just dealt with a small situation without losing your self respect or going to the sidechick's house to confront her like a pepper seller, ball is now in your court. You are welcome.

 

I could give you more ideas but i trust that a woman scorned is a creative woman.


WARNING: Always cover your tracks ladies, fight for your marriage with class.


I await testimonies, i will not use a vacuum cleaner to clean the pieces he left your heart in. May the odds ever be in your favor

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Olanireti(m): 10:08am On Sep 16, 2018
Waooo.

First, let me state this that I don't support cheating spouse, but dealing with cheating spouse your highlighted ways are just outrageous. I see you you as a wicked woman and I so much pity the man that would marry you.

You don't correct wrong with wrong.

So you really want to make your husband impotent just because he cheats on you? So what happens to you, the wife after then, you will start cheating outside or you wouldn't need sex again?

Also you ready to abort the pregnancy if the side chick gets pregnant for him without the knowledge of the lady, common.

Now that you have advised what house wives should do if their spouse cheats, so how should men treat their wives then if she cheats??

13 Likes

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by mrphysics(m): 10:09am On Sep 16, 2018
cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Honestly, I read through the entire post but couldn't grab the solution to a cheating husband.

18 Likes

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:10am On Sep 16, 2018
Olanireti:
Hmm
did i lie
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by CoolFreeday(m): 10:16am On Sep 16, 2018
I disagree with the part that you said men that cheat don't respect their wives anymore. I totally disagree with that ma.

6 Likes

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:16am On Sep 16, 2018
mrphysics:
cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Honestly, I read through the entire post but couldn't grab the solution to a cheating husband.

simple, deal with him
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by pansophist(m): 10:16am On Sep 16, 2018
Your method is one of the exact reasons why i am dead scared to date Nigerian ladies. Why do you have to make him poor, or make him have erectile dysfunction? Even to the extent of going diabolical?

How about respecting yourself and leave?

Your solution is not immune to the backfire effect. You might be the one destroyed at the end. Not all men you can manipulate.

Of what use does it serves you that someone is in agony? And remember the old saying, if you choose to revenge, remember to dig out two graves.

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:18am On Sep 16, 2018
Will be back to read thoroughly grin

Lol, funny post. I won't become a murderer, fraudster,a devil because of a Man.Nah grin. I value My sanity more than a union that ends the moment I breathe my last.

I think the first step should be knowing if the Man/marriage is worth fighting for. Yes sometimes we give up too soon and sometimes too late, When you know what is worth fighting for, who you fight and how to fight then you have won the battle.

First evaluate your marriage. Why did he cheat? Have you been careless, How long has he been cheating? And of course his position. Is he repentant or carefree? . With this you know what went wrong and how to handle it. Either you walk out or stay to Fight.

Talk to him, what does he want? Here you know if it was a mistake or he probably just doesn't respect you. Then you get to know if he doesn't want you anymore but reluctant to say it for reasons best known to him. You know if your marriage is over or not.

Make your decision. You either forgive and remain married or divorce. It is your choice,whichever you can live with.

Live is too short to be angry over things like this. Moreover only a woman with no value,identity, source of income, esteem, dignity and integrity will go about things the way you suggest. A dependent woman is a walking dead being. grin

9 Likes

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:18am On Sep 16, 2018
pansophist:
Your method is one of the exact reasons why dead scared to date Nigerian ladies. How about respecting and leave ? Why do you have to make him poor, or make him have erectile dysfunction? Even to the extent of going diabolical?

Your solution is not immune to the backfire effect. You might be the one destroyed at the end. Not all men you can manipulate.

Of what use does it serves you that someone is in agony? And remember the old saying, if you choose to revenge, remember to dig out two graves.
leave! No way! we have to fight for this love.

karma only affects those who project guilt to the universe. the lady is simply fighting for her marriage elegantly.

She is justified so you don't have to worry, besides didn't the man think of a backfire event when he was cheating and hurting his spouse

2 Likes

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:19am On Sep 16, 2018
mrphysics:
cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Honestly, I read through the entire post but couldn't grab the solution to a cheating husband.

Me too cry

5 Likes

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:21am On Sep 16, 2018
MariaLavina:
Me too cry
do not react the way a regular woman will react simple. this is not just revenge, but fighting for what is yours. the moment u let emotions cloud your judgment, you lose
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Olanireti(m): 10:22am On Sep 16, 2018
mrphysics:
cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy cheesy

Honestly, I read through the entire post but couldn't grab the solution to a cheating husband.


She hasn't provided any solution, she only split out trash she's made up of. I pity the man that would fall victim of marrying her

8 Likes

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Olanireti(m): 10:24am On Sep 16, 2018
pansophist:
Your method is one of the exact reasons why i am dead scared to date Nigerian ladies. How about respecting yourself and leave ? Why do you have to make him poor, or make him have erectile dysfunction? Even to the extent of going diabolical?

Your solution is not immune to the backfire effect. You might be the one destroyed at the end. Not all men you can manipulate.

Of what use does it serves you that someone is in agony? And remember the old saying, if you choose to revenge, remember to dig out two graves.



God bless you. She obviously has nothing upstair to provide solutions with

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Olanireti(m): 10:25am On Sep 16, 2018
funmisticqueen:
leave! No way! we have to fight for this love.

karma only affects those who project guilt to the universe. the lady is simply fighting for her marriage elegantly.

She is justified so you don't have to worry, besides didn't the man think of a backfire event when he was cheating and hurting his spouse


Fight for love by making him impotent, committing murder by the abortion, by going diabolical, common, where is your sense??

8 Likes

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:25am On Sep 16, 2018
Olanireti:


She hasn't provided any solution, she only split out trash she's made up of. I pity the man that would fall victim of marrying her
unlike other women i am very upfront, i will tell u before marriage that if you treat me with anything less than the respect i deserve and give to you, then i am justifued in teaching you a lesson that will set things right. The same goes the other way. I always have to be objective.
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:27am On Sep 16, 2018
Olanireti:



Fight for love by making him impotent, committing murder by the abortion, by going diabolical, common, where is your sense??
in my head. the point of all these tactics is to make a man lose his self respect and you swooping in to save the day. Only the truly intelligent would read between the lines
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by mrphysics(m): 10:28am On Sep 16, 2018
funmisticqueen:
simple, deal with him
I am very sure you are not married and you are not in any relationship. Because if you were in any, you'd be well informed and wouldn't have come up with that.

I don't know why singles have the solution to marital problems. Every single girl claims to be a marriage counselor and consultant. Life is much more complicated than you think it is.

9 Likes

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:29am On Sep 16, 2018
funmisticqueen:
do not react the way a regular woman will react simple. this is not just revenge, but fighting for what is yours. the moment u let emotions cloud your judgment, you lose
Okay, I agree with that. Controlling emotions.

But fighting for what is mine? seriously? Why should I fight for a Man who has chosen not to be mine? That's mission impossible grin

6 Likes

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by apatheticme(f): 10:29am On Sep 16, 2018
funmisticqueen:


You have two options, cry it out like a weakling or be angry, then calm down and do something about it which is either to bury your head like an ostrich and deceive yourself in prayer that God will fight for you when jesus comes or fight for your marriage like a badass.



The main reason a man cheats on a woman is because he doesn't respect her anymore, forget the bullshit propaganda  going on that they can still love you and cheat or men are polygamous. See babes, you have to give a man a reason to respect you, even if you are a housewife, be the type of woman that before a man cheats he has to pray hard that you never find out or he is a dead man. So act unpredictable once in a while, stop being so emotional, that is what men count on.


Another reason women don't deal with their cheating lovers is because they think they have everything to lose. Do away with that mentality, it is what kept women of old in a  bondage of a relationship/marriage and makes them bitter, spiteful mother -in- laws.  The first step to getting what you want is to be shameless about it. Shameless people who have nothing to lose are the ones who succeed. How do you think the side chick got your lover, by being holier than thou? Don't let people especially the relations guilt trip you with the children, your womb, your biological clock or whatever. It is either you get him or no one does.




This is the only part of this post that makes sense!

While I support fighting for your home not just the man since your children would need a stable home and a focused father, I don't think using criminal methods would be a good approach. It can always backfire.

Confronting the other woman would work, telling her to back down. Could be physical confrontation could be on phone

Organizing a family meeting that is hopefully if the man has good parents and/or relatives.

Informing religious leaders either pastors, bishops or elders in cases of Christian Marriages

If all of these options are exhausted and the man still doesn't change, calmly get a divorce!

I don't know why a lot of women shy away from divorce, guess they've been brainwashed into the 'No divorce' mantra.

Personally I feel it boils down to what everyone can take, we all have limits! Some can suffer emotional pain and be calm, others can't.

Personally I can't take cheating from a man and my man knows. He also knows that is the last thing I would be associated with. Once we're clear from the dating stage, marriage would be a piece of cake. However, if things change since life is fickle, I would calmly get a divorce, as I just can't take it in any way.

Life goes on!

1 Like

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:29am On Sep 16, 2018
mrphysics:

I am very sure you are not married and you are not in any relationship. Because if you were in any, you'd be well informed and wouldn't have come up with that.

I don't know why singles have the solution to marital problems. Every single girl claims to be a marriage counselor and consultant. Life is much more complicated than you think it is.



i am in a relationship, and my boyfriend knows the kind of person i am, nice but strict, i simply gave him a warning which keeps him on his toes.

i can now have peace of mind cos though I hardly give threats,but when i do i carry them out. he was warned afterall
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:32am On Sep 16, 2018
Olanireti:



Fight for love by making him impotent, committing murder by the abortion, by going diabolical, common, where is your sense??
The way you are going about this thread, one would think you are a cheating husband. grin cheesy


Calm down sir, we are all here to learn grin
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by AmazonTopaz(f): 10:34am On Sep 16, 2018
I do not get this.
All I can say is that no faithful partner deserves a cheating partner and women should not kill themselves because a man cheated on them they have an option to forgive and stay or leave the marriage.
If a man cheats on me I cannot kill myself so I would divorce if it is a marriage or end it if it is a relationship.
As far as I am concerned a man who cheats does not love or respect his partner and obviously lacks self control or discipline and my self esteem is too high to cope with such nonsense.

1 Like

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:35am On Sep 16, 2018
apatheticme:


This is the only part of this post that makes sense!

While I support fighting for your home not just the man since your children would need a stable home and a focused father, I don't think using criminal methods would be a good approach. It can always backfire.

Confronting the other woman would work, telling her to back down. Could be physical confrontation could be on phone

Organizing a family meeting that is hopefully if the man has good parents and/or relatives.

Informing religious leaders either pastors, bishops or elders in cases of Christian Marriages

If all of these options are exhausted and the man still doesn't change, calmly get a divorce!

I don't know why a lot of women shy away from divorce, guess they've been brainwashed into the 'No divorce' mantra.

Personally I feel it boils down to what everyone can take, we all have limits! Some can suffer emotional pain and be calm, others can't.

Personally I can't take cheating from a man and my man knows. He also knows that is the last thing I would be associated with. Once we're clear from the dating stage, marriage would be a piece of cake. However, if things change since life is fickle, I would calmly get a divorce, as I just can't take it in any way.

Life goes on!

these solutions you have mentioned only work in africa magic movies not in real life cos the woman is still at the losing end and man still thinks he can cheat again since all he has to do is beg with family member, confronting the side chick is dumb and brings you to their level.
besides in this society , a man is justified for cheating. If you still want to bury your head, you could always ask for an open marriage. half bread is better than puff puff.
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:37am On Sep 16, 2018
AmazonTopaz:
I do not get this.
All I can say is that no faithful partner deserves a cheating partner and women should not kill themselves because a man cheated on them they have an option to forgive and stay or leave the marriage.
If a man cheats on me I cannot kill myself so I would divorce if it is a marriage or end it if it is a relationship.
As far as I am concerned a man who cheats does not love or respect his partner and obviously lacks self control or discipline and my self esteem is too high to cope with such nonsense.
really, how many marriages and relationships has this approach worked for. if you choose to say with him, the man automatically lose respect completely for you cos it shows that you can take any kind of insult in the name of marriage
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by AmazonTopaz(f): 10:42am On Sep 16, 2018
funmisticqueen:
really, how many marriages and relationships has this approach worked for. if you choose to say with him, the man automatically lose respect completely for you cos it shows that you can take any kind of insult in the name of marriage

You are misunderstanding me.
People who get cheated on have an option to stay or leave and when I used myself in my earlier post I said I cannot stand a cheating partner that is why I would leave(divorce or breakup) and my trust for such a partner would be shattered and can never be restored because I don't easily forget so I would not deceive myself to make such a relationship work because it would never work.Read my post again you clearly misunderstood me.
My self esteem cannot be insulted because of marriage.
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:48am On Sep 16, 2018
MariaLavina:
Okay, I agree with that. Controlling emotions.

But fighting for what is mine? seriously? Why should I fight for a Man who has chosen not to be mine? That's mission impossible grin
there is a reason why u entered the marriage in the first place and it is not so that you can easily run out, once the going gets tough, the tough gets going
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:50am On Sep 16, 2018
AmazonTopaz:


You are misunderstanding me.
People who get cheated on have an option to stay or leave and when I used myself in my earlier post I said I cannot stand a cheating partner that is why I would leave(divorce or breakup) and my trust for such a partner would be shattered and can never be restored because I don't easily forget so I would not deceive myself to make such a relationship work because it would never work.Read my post again you clearly misunderstood me.
My self esteem cannot be insulted because of marriage.
ur self esteem is already insulted once a man cheats trust me
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:52am On Sep 16, 2018
What's this one typing?

Are you on a codeine diet?

Worst thing still, is that, it'll make front page

1 Like

Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Nobody: 10:52am On Sep 16, 2018
Olanireti:



Fight for love by making him impotent, committing murder by the abortion, by going diabolical, common, where is your sense??
abortion is not murder, i will say it again and again.
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by Olanireti(m): 10:53am On Sep 16, 2018
MariaLavina:
The way you are going about this thread, one would think you are a cheating husband. grin cheesy


Calm down sir, we are all here to learn grin


Lmao
Re: Ladies!! Keeping Sanity In Your Marriage/relationship In The Face Of Infidelity by apatheticme(f): 10:53am On Sep 16, 2018
funmisticqueen:
these solutions you have mentioned only work in africa magic movies not in real life cos the woman is still at the losing end and man still thinks he can cheat again since all he has to do is beg with family member, confronting the side chick is dumb and brings you to their level.
besides in this society , a man is justified for cheating. If you still want to bury your head, you could always ask for an open marriage. half bread is better than puff puff.

Because it hasn't worked for you or for someone you know doesn't mean it has not restored many more homes.

How many of these statistics do you have? Where are your facts, evidences, figures?

What research have you carried out on the subject matter or u're just assuming? How many cheating spouses have you interviewed, interacted with?

How many of these options I listed have you done random sampling in a particular population and conclude that they didn't work?

U're not being objective, ur reasoning is clouded by sentiments. When you have facts to counter my points, present them rather than day they don't work. How can you say they don't work? Have you tried any?

Personally I've seen over four Marriages restored back to complete happiness in the church I attend by rigorous counseling, prayers and intervention of church leaders.

So what do you mean by the methods I listed don't work? What about divorce, dt doesn't work too? Why can't the woman decide not to take bullshit, value herself and just take a walk?

Most times, when women leave, history has it that they always do well, raise their children well, and the man almost always regret his actions later in life and beg to be involved in the children's lives or even in some cases beg to come back to the wife.

I also have evidence on these things I'm saying, if you have facts like I said, present them. I'll be happy to share data, figures, stats with you rather than being criminally inclined because of a cheating spouse!

Peace

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