Chubhie:
Find yourself first. Let your goals and milestones be your motivation. Women will come once you are in alignment. This is a gift nature bestows on them to sniff you out.

By this you mean I should wait right and not go through with my plans right?

resurgent2019:


By this you mean I should wait right and not go through with my plans right?

You don't look ready Bro. You yet to really decide what you want in a woman....Maybe that beautiful soul willing to go through that tough patch with you is the right woman for you but you fail to recognise this cos you want money to chase the slay queens.

Perhaps, It's a necessary condition that you must go through your mistakes and get your hands and heart burnt before you really define what you want in a woman.

It's okay to make mistakes Bro. Which ever choice you make, Will serve your greater good depending on how you perceive the outcomes.

Chubhie:

You don't look ready Bro. You yet to really decide what you want in a woman....Maybe that beautiful soul willing to go through that tough patch with you is the right woman for you but you fail to recognise this cos you want money to chase the slay queens.

Perhaps, It's a necessary condition that you must go through your mistakes and get your hands and heart burnt before you really define what you want in a woman.

It's okay to make mistakes Bro. Which ever choice you make, Will serve your greater good depending on how you perceive the outcomes.

Thanks Bro.

you shouldn't go into marriage now with this mindset, you need to experience some real fact about women first and that should be after you have achieved what it takes to chase those ladies of your taste, maybe,just maybe you will start to appreciate this blessed soul by then nd u can rightly make ur decision.Though she may not be within ur reach den nd DAT will surely b ur loss.

Father Lord,

I come to you in humility.

May men like the op of this thread never come close to my sisters or female friends.

If they come close may they go blind.

May trailer jam them.

May an aeroplane fall on them.

May the ground open up and swallow them.

Dear Lord, if you want to add your own jara just like you did in the old testament against Pharoah and co, go ahead.

Do this for me Lord and take all the glory.

OldBeer:
Father Lord,

I come to you in humility.

May men like the op of this thread never come close to my sisters or female friends.

If they come close may they go blind.

May trailer jam them.

May an aeroplane fall on them.

May the ground open up and swallow them.

Dear Lord, if you want to add your own jara just like you did in the old testament against Pharoah and co, go ahead.

Do this for me Lord and take all the glory.

My brother, it’s not that serious. You wouldn’t understand though. What I expect is your comment or advice not what you posted up there.

resurgent2019:


My brother, it’s not that serious. You wouldn’t understand though. What I expect is your comment or advice not what you posted up there.

Uncle it is that serious.

You are only using that woman as a birth canal, nothing more.

When the money comes, forget all this your long talk, YOU WILL CHASE AFTER THOSE WOMEN WEY NO SEND YOU NOW.
Money reveals true character and your own go bad gaaaan.

Ah, have mercy on someone's daughter. It is not her fault.

FREE HER!
PLEASE!!!

Shebi na pikin be your major worry now, just look for a surrogate mother or better still wait.
Sperm no dey expire abi?

Shookonekilla has said most of the things I wanted to say.

Lemme stop before I am accused of taking it personal.


Baba God, please my prayer still stands o!

Please don't put that lady through hell. Release her and let her go.

As for your mindset. All I can say is that you aren't really ready or matured to settle down. If you think the woman that is good for you is the one that will only date or marry you if you've got money then you are in for a stressful life. You'll spend the rest of your life struggling to make her happy. She'll never be content.

If you manage to earn enough today and marry her, what happens if in 2 or 3 years time you lose the money?

Marriage is like a prison cell but with an opportunity to choose your cell mate.

Choose your cellmate wisely.

...

...

Ioannes:
Please don't put that lady through hell. Release her and let her go.

As for your mindset. All I can say is that you aren't really ready or matured to settle down. If you think the woman that is good for you is the one that will only date or marry you if you've got money then you are in for a stressful life. You'll spend the rest of your life struggling to make her happy. She'll never be content.

If you manage to earn enough today and marry her, what happens if in 2 or 3 years time you lose the money?

Marriage is like a prison cell but with an opportunity to choose your cell mate.

Choose your cellmate wisely.

Hmmmmmmmm. Thank you.

resurgent2019:


Hmmmmmmmm. Thank you.

You welcome.

OldBeer:
Uncle it is that serious.

You are only using that woman as a birth canal, nothing more.

When the money comes, forget all this your long talk, YOU WILL CHASE AFTER THOSE WOMEN WEY NO SEND YOU NOW.
Money reveals true character and your own go bad gaaaan.

Ah, have mercy on someone's daughter. It is not her fault.

FREE HER!
PLEASE!!!

Shebi na pikin be your major worry now, just look for a surrogate mother or better still wait.
Sperm no dey expire abi?

Shookonekilla has said most of the things I wanted to say.

Lemme stop before I am accused of taking it personal.


Baba God, please my prayer still stands o!

My dear it is so annoying

Look at the way he described her, in such a condescending manner. It obvious he believes he deserves better ... He will make her life.miserable

Haba

@Shookonekilla said it all

Listen young man, @resurgent2019 do not get married! You are not marriage material...

This is my honest opinion

There is alot broken in you that needs fixing before you should be advised to get married

You show classic sociopathic tendencies

Ioannes:
Please don't put that lady through hell. Release her and let her go.

As for your mindset. All I can say is that you aren't really ready or matured to settle down. If you think the woman that is good for you is the one that will only date or marry you if you've got money then you are in for a stressful life. You'll spend the rest of your life struggling to make her happy. She'll never be content.

If you manage to earn enough today and marry her, what happens if in 2 or 3 years time you lose the money?

Marriage is like a prison cell but with an opportunity to choose your cell mate.

Choose your cellmate wisely.

Guys like that should be blacklisted from being allowed to get married

Antina:
"But this lady is the only lady willing to stand by me in this tough moment in my life"

"Given the fact that I hate divorce and don’t trust myself not to misbehave when things start moving again"

What advise do you need again? Someone that is willing to stand by you through trying times, still you don't trust yourself when you have money cos u can still misbehave?

She is not your type sir! Please don't make the mistake of marrying her. Don't make her life miserable!

Most of you guys! Na those Oloshos u dey find, after you will be crying "Girls are hoe"

A Girl doesn't have to be a Hoe to be Beautiful. Do you say Yes to every Ugly pot belly looking dude that comes your way, I'm sure not.

She herself that is forming "stand by you through trying times". She knows she has no options prolly because of her average/below average looks. I'm sure she is not Stupid that is why she is willing to settle for less.

Money is not everything at the end, not every lady can marry an Ugly man like Oshomole.

Chubhie:

You don't look ready Bro. You yet to really decide what you want in a woman....Maybe that beautiful soul willing to go through that tough patch with you is the right woman for you but you fail to recognise this cos you want money to chase the slay queens.

Perhaps, It's a necessary condition that you must go through your mistakes and get your hands and heart burnt before you really define what you want in a woman.

It's okay to make mistakes Bro. Which ever choice you make, Will serve your greater good depending on how you perceive the outcomes.

You are the only person who had shown wisdom, tact, truth, sensitivity and sympathetic understanding in offering advice.

The others are typical Nigerian advisers: they'd mix truth with insults, injure you, deride you, judge you and generally put you down. What I detest the most is the judgmental attitude.

The shooku guy was carrying on like a dictator, pressing his words onto the heart of the op, burning him with the 'truth'. It's not for nothing that Paul advised that the truth should be spoken in love because truth spoken without love is like a live electric wire. It shocks, it kills.

Mujtahida:

You are the only person who had shown wisdom, tact, truth, sensitivity and sympathetic understanding in offering advice.

The others are typical Nigerian advisers: they'd mix truth with insults, injure you, deride you, judge you and generally put you down. What I detest the most is the judgmental attitude.

The shooku guy was carrying on like a dictator, pressing his words onto the heart of the op, burning him with the 'truth'. It's not for nothing that Paul advised that the truth should be spoken in love because truth spoken without love is like a live electric wire. It shocks, it kills.

You are kind with words Bro.

You omitted somethings in your enquiry..
aw long have you known this lady ?
Any history of s*x between you two?

So, I can judge if this will be worth pursuing...

Please don't get married now, wait for when the money comes so you can go after the ladies you truly want, if you do marry now you will surely go after what you truly desire when richer (it's all a mirage anyway) It's that simple

You don't even see a problem with your mentality and that is a problem on its own.


Oldbeer you got me laughing so hard.

Shookonekilla:


If children is your.problem.you can adopt a child.. but I wouldn't subject any woman to the torture of calling you her husband with this mindset

It's so unreal and someone with such a warped mindset actually might end up married? Small wonder why divorce rates are so high.

You have beef with the OP? Damn!

Don't ever set yourself short... life is good so have what you desire. Settling for what's available means you don't believe you're worthy. You and your happiness is more important than anyone including your child so don't sell out on yourself. Wait and make your money and enjoy life! You're a man and your fertilisers aren't on a clock.

LivingFree:
Don't ever set yourself short... life is good so have what you desire. Settling for what's available means you don't believe you're worthy. You and your happiness is more important than anyone including your child so don't sell out on yourself. Wait and make your money and enjoy life! You're a man and your fertilisers aren't on a clock.

You're a man and your fertilisers aren't on a clock

I like that you are self aware. You introspected and realized your weaknesses before marriage, most persons don't do that. Don't marry for the sake of marrying, you will regret it. Do the work needed to improve your lot in life and go for the kind of woman you want.

Someone standing by you in trying times doesn't make them suitable for marriage.Will she be so willing to stand by you if she could attract better? I believe people should marry for reasons not feelings, as feelings are fickle. If your reasons for wanting to marry a woman is her beauty, education, intelligence, fashion sense or career by all means do so.Most will not cheat or leave if you lose your earning power. Don't settle because you feel a sense of indebtedness to your girlfriend. Love her enough to let her go and not make her a placeholder for the woman of your dreams.

It matters not the age you marry, but the quality of your marriage.Kids are very expensive to raise now, except you have no intention of giving them a decent life. I don't think you should have kids till your finances improve.

After using this current lady, you want to dump her and wait for your “spec”?

Ha! She has been investing in you TO MARRY HER!

Fine! Go and make money and wait for that “spec”! Hopefully Karma will not pay you with a “spec” that will marry you for your “money” and you end up in the same “divorce” wahala.

Life is a risk. Take yours!

Patience is a virtue VS a bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush!

Choose wisely!

KanwuliaExtra:
After using this current lady, you want to dump her and wait for your “spec”?

Ha! She has been investing in you TO MARRY HER!

Fine! Go and make money and wait for that “spec”! Hopefully Karma will not pay you with a “spec” that will marry you for your “money” and you end up in the same “divorce” wahala.

Life is a risk. Take yours!

Patience is s virtue and a bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush!

Choose wisely!

Kanwulia welldone. You are advising him to marry someone he is not attracted to when your husband probably married you because of what you look like. Which is probably one of the things that keeps the man married to you.

Poster, please marry who you are attracted to. Marry your spec. You can find your spec now if you have patience. Since you know your weakness try to build strength to avoid cheating when things get better for you. I know people who did not marry their spec and they are MISERABLE! Especially men! Men are visual creatures and at first you may think you can overlook, but when you have to wake to this person for at least 40yrs!!!! After 3yrs you will not want to come home. A lot of women can overlook looks for basic things that can be provided by the man. But men will end up destroying such women because they will eventually cheat and treat her bad.

baby124:

Kanwulia welldone. You are advising him to marry someone he is not attracted to when your husband probably married you because of what you look like. Which is probably one of the things that keeps the man married to you.

Poster, please marry who you are attracted to. Marry your spec. You can find your spec now if you have patience. Since you know your weakness try to build strength to avoid cheating when things get better for you. I know people who did not marry their spec and they are MISERABLE! Especially men! Men are visual creatures and at first you may think you can overlook, but when you have to wake to this person for at least 40yrs!!!! After 3yrs you will not want to come home. A lot of women can overlook looks for basic things that can be provided by the man. But men will end up destroying such women because they will eventually cheat and treat her bad.

I did not give any advice o. I only gave scenarios.
We have to be careful how we use others. If she is not his “spec” why stay with her and suck her dry?

She stands by him out of love. WHAT IS HE DOING WITH HER?

Karma does not sleep you know? DID HE EVER TELL HER THE WAY HE FELT ABOUT HER?

I am sure he has professed love in and out of the bedroom.

Is that an honest man or a CON ARTIST?

I pity the “spec” sha!

KanwuliaExtra:


I did not give any advice o. I only gave scenarios.
We have to be careful how we use others. Is she is not his “spec” why stay with her and suck her dry?

She stands by him out of love. WHAT IS HE DOING WITH HER?

Karma does not sleep you know? DID HE EVER TELL HER THE WAY HE FELT ABOUT HER?

I am sure he has professed love in and out of the bedroom.

Is that an honest man or a CON ARTIST?

I pity the “spec” sha!

He’s a con artist leading the girl on for sure, but she is also desperate taking care of a man that has not defined their relationship or committed to her in any way. Her fault also.

baby124:

He’s a con artist leading the girl on for sure, but she is also desperate taking care of a man that has not defined their relationship or committed to her in any way. Her fault also.

Thanks for your honesty.
A con-artist of a “spec” will await him too.
You reap what you sow abi?

Op I understand you perfectly infact if you go ahead and marry the girl by the time you see more beautiful and hotter girls you would start becoming moody with regretsome which would affect your marriage. Follow your heart, go after beauty if she is materialistic dump her. Definitely you would see your spec who is not materialistic and then you can take it from there. You wrote about not having time, I would advise you make out time for your love life. Marriage is a serious bizness so before you venture you must make out time to study your would be partner. Don't rush because of desperation you will regret it. I know you have a good job and that's the requirement for most girls before they can settle down with you. Be careful not all the beautiful girls you see are worth marrying most of them are coded prostitutes.

baby124:

Kanwulia welldone. You are advising him to marry someone he is not attracted to when your husband probably married you because of what you look like. Which is probably one of the things that keeps the man married to you.

Poster, please marry who you are attracted to. Marry your spec. You can find your spec now if you have patience. Since you know your weakness try to build strength to avoid cheating when things get better for you. I know people who did not marry their spec and they are MISERABLE! Especially men! Men are visual creatures and at first you may think you can overlook, but when you have to wake to this person for at least 40yrs!!!! After 3yrs you will not want to come home. A lot of women can overlook looks for basic things that can be provided by the man. But men will end up destroying such women because they will eventually cheat and treat her bad.

see them advising the man to marry who is not attracted to while the go in secret and do the opposite. Hypocrisy. Op just correct that impression you need money to pursue your spec. Is not always true.

jesmond3945:
see them advising the man to marry who is not attracted to while the go in secret and do the opposite. Hypocrisy. Op just correct that impression you need money to pursue your spec. Is not always true.

Don’t mind Kanwulia. She’s a fine woman o. Lol.

resurgent2019:


I guess I am only being childish with my vain needs but I still have to get married. I can’t on account of my thought process not get married.

And when I advocate that I am scared, it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t treat her right:she would be my wife for Christ sakes! But I might not be as loving as I would want to.

Please get this distinction and keep your comments coming.

I really appreciate you all..

Why do you want to get married?