I read this post and realised one thing, Nigerians are not knowledgeable in things of the law. Like someone rightly pointed next of Kin is more a legal obligation that a financial or beneficiary thing. See if you are thinking of the future of your son. Simply write out a will that makes him your inheritor. But in matters of decision making you better make your wifey next of kin. You can even make your brother one

Either wife or Son is good but preferably son

what if you marry two wives?

God forbid you pass while your son is still a minor , he will not have control of your estate you leave room for someone else to come in and act as guardian until he becomes of age . make your wife next of kin and have certain amounts held in trust for your kids when they become old enough . also take care of your wife O ,

Pittbaby:

God forbid you pass while your son is still a minor , he will not have control of your estate you leave room for someone else to come in and act as guardian until he becomes of age . make your wife next of kin and have certain amounts held in trust for your kids when they become old enough . also take care of your wife O ,

that's almost assuming the wife is an illiterate who cant be trusted to look after THEIR child isn't it?

yes it is proper, but you gotta av a 100% assurance she's trust-able and wouldn't let u down in future

Sure, who else should? Unless she`s not the mother of the kids u`re worried about protecting and providing for.

As for the NL women haters, a neglected wife is a neglecting mother. Sure u dont want that 4 ur kids.

(muse)Dear Lord, wat is becoming of marriage relationships. They are now treated like business scams! Lord help us all!

^^ blame the MOTHERS


when their child pass away the first person to attack is the wife

.

why not, in naija no bi man dey die before woman?. man don suffer oooo!!

dnt try it,if u dnt hav giv it to the salvation army

My wife any day. A child is a child and will soon find his own missing rib, but wifey took a vow with me till death do us part.

idifu:

yes it is proper, but you gotta av a 100% assurance she's trust-able and wouldn't let u down in future

what you wrote above is the stuff you have to discover BEFORE getting married with someone. . . . . . . not after marriage. if the future wifey hasnt got it then you shouldnt marry her at all!

that's almost assuming the wife is an illiterate who cant be trusted to look after THEIR child isn't it?

Should be directed at poster , he doesnt trust his wife to be able to fight of his in laws and take care of his fortune on his demise. so i gave him a solution that he may be able to live with .

just my two cents
i worked in the human resources department of a multinational firm for 9 years and i have seen much to my sorrow the effects of a man's unwillingness to make his wife his next of kin. some even make their brothers next of kin and in EVERY CASE these relations do not take care of the widow and the children. i have been in situations where i read the man's requirement to the weeping family and in one case, the guy named his mother and would you believe that the tears dried up instantly in his fathers eyes and i saw a sweeping anger cross his face as to why the guy left the money to his mother.
i know when you are still alive you guys are all lovey dovey but unfortunately even in death practicalities such as money to eat,go to school etc have to be considered. back to the story as i was leaving the house, the man's brother who was weeping profusely followed me out of the house almost climbing on my back, called me aside and i was getting ready my sympathetic voice and face as i waited to hear how he would miss his dearly beloved brother only to hear him as he looked furtively around to make sure no one overheard him ask how soon his brothers property could be transported down from where he had died to him in ibadan.
i have been present where the widow broke down on hearing the money is to be controlled by her brother in law and the brother inlaw comforts her only to turn to us and tell us not to worry since the lady was still fresh he would marry her and use the money to take care of her. a lot of times the mothers die a short time later to leave orphans in the care of relations who don't give a damn.
my heart has been broken time and time again by husbands' carelessness in this regard. and i have become cynical. please if you love your son, make his mother the next of kin.
your problem is you are trying to control their lives from beyond the grave which if you ask me is a little creepy. if your wife died would you remarry? why do you kill yourself imagining her spending your money with another man. no one can love your children like both of you can.
make her your next of kin.
are you expecting that she would divorce you? if she does and you are still alive, you are free to change it. make her your next of kin

to add another cent to the two above

your wife/husband can be your next of kin without knowing anything about it (for those who are afraid their wife/husband will do them in if they know they're the next of kin), bottomline of that is, the only person other than you; who can and will want to take the best possible care of your children if you pass away suddenly is your wife/husband.

if you make your child your next of kin and he/she is not an adult, your wife will automatically be the one to administer on behalf of the child because she is
1. the biological mother of the child and/or
2.your legal wife
(1. supercedes 2.)

writing a WILL is not something that is pervasive in our culture but thats the best thing to do. there are so many documents you have filled at different points in your adult life that to change and synchronize them all is almost impossible but having a WILL is a one-stop shop where you can declare your next of kin irrespective of what is in any document that you filled in the past and which you have not been able to update plus a WILL is easy to update at any point

it is almost impossible that siblings wil do right by your children the way you would have done if you leave your wealth to them but if you love your brothers/sisters more than you love your children, by all means leave your wealth to them, thats your personal decision

in summary, in making the decision on who will be your next of kin, ask yourself the question HOW WILL MY CHILDREN GET THE RESOURCES THEY NEED (as close to the way i would have provided it) TO GET FROM WHERE THEY ARE RIGHT NOW TO ADULTHOOD if for any reason i have to leave sooner than planned

Kellysopy thanks for bringing up this post.My advise is simple and brief there are three people you should never lie to .

They are your;Lawyer ,Pastor and Doctor so kindly discuss with them likewise if you have a mentor he or she can also help you out.

as for me my wife is my next of kin because i love her as Christ love the church.

At first i didn't want to reply this thread but i just have to cos a lot of men here think most women are after their money;even the broke ones who have just 10mins access to the internet, will come and say rubbish.
Mr Poster,what if you find out tomorrow that your wife is richer than you are? So if you think making her your next of kin all because of your little wealth is a big deal,sure you'll be the one begging to be her next of kin. Besides,like some people actually lectured,a next of kin isn't for transferring of wealth or properties after one's demise. I just hope some women here will learn one or two things (cos most of us won't even think twice before penning our husbands as next of kin).

Again Mr. Poster,what if your wife dies before you? Rubbish!
And to the slowpoke (can't even remember his name) who said he can't even imagine his wife enjoying his wealth with another man when he dies; zulu gambari;what if you die at 90 and your wife is 85? Who will that lover be? Apoda!

@Decryptor,just like you said;most modern day Nigerian women, but definitely not all. We still have a whole load of hardworking ladies who do not have to wait for a dude to pay their bills. It's pretty annoying when a man meets a lady and the next thing he thinks is "oh,she's after my kish",

matiltom_d:

@Decryptor,just like you said;most modern day Nigerian women, but definitely not all. We still have a whole load of hardworking ladies who do not have to wait for a dude to pay their bills. It's pretty annoying when a man meets a lady and the next thing he thinks is "oh,she's after my kish",

Well, it's so unfortunate that the "most" we are talking about have made it look as if it's a general routine. Mechanics like they say have made it difficult to differentiate between Mad People and Themselves. So see why it is imperative that a man should be very careful especially when making decisions concerning his finance when a woman is involved. After all, the great poet Shakespeare once said, "Woman, frailty is thy name"!

please make ur wife next of kin ohhhhh! no woman can ever go thru the torture of labour and then watch that kid suffer. if she is ur next of kin she will definitely tkcre of ur son wit wat uve willed her. no matter the family pressure, they cant take it from her cos they are documented and its her name in it. if u will ur son, its not a bad idea but remember he is growing, peer pressure, influence could lead him to misuse resources n watch it, his mama wont be able to control him cos everything is in his name. i have seen this happen before. at the end of the day, a man that left so much wealth for his son believing it would also favour his wife thru the son ended up having a wife selling tomatoes at a major market to send the other kids to school n d son, a cultist n gang leader

Is this poster guy serious Really??

LOL!!!! WE are in the 21st Century and we're still operating in Nollywood movie mode? No wonder we're called the 'Dark Continent' and the "Third World" by our contemporaries,

Okay Poster, let's do this instead. Since you're having such a dilemma over who to name next of kin I have a suggestion: name your CAT the next of kin. That way you can be sure he or she is totally loyal to you.

KAI!
i fear for this country oh! ignorance is a terrible thing. Next of kin does not equal always money/inheritance.
So na so peeps dey distrust women, sorry their wives reach
wanna make your 2 yr old your next of kin, LOL daftest thing i heard since, since, since NEVER

it is very proper to make your wife next of kin. or you can make both your wife and your son, my father did that.

If you don't trust your wife and your parrents are still alive,you can use them as your next of kin provided your child is still a baby. But where your parrent are late and your child is still a baby, pls, use your wife as your next of kin not your siblings.If you do you will regrate it.

some posts are bewildering! one would think some of these men are as wealthy as bill gates and their wives liabilities .

@poster, how wld u feel if ur wife came on nl to ask " is it proper to make my husband my next of kin" as he may decide tomorrow to marry another wife or kill me cos he wants to marry another wife. sheeeeeeesh!

this nomination as next of kin is really to make administration of any estate easier for the wife.

in this changing and unstable times ,it is not the best to make your wife your next of kin but you should, if indeed, without her you couldnt have come this far in life and if indeed you are not bothered that she will spend your entitlements with her lover.if you have a childmake your child your next of kin.

josite:

in this changing and unstable times ,it is not the best to make your wife your next of kin but you should, if indeed, without her you couldnt have come this far in life and if indeed you are not bothered that she will spend your entitlements with her lover.if you have a childmake your child your next of kin.