Quite hilarious

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Revenge Sex.....




Tommy discovered his wife was cheating with another guy, so he went to the guy's wife and told her about it.

"I know what we will do", she said, "Let's take revenge on him."

So together they went to a motel and had revenge.

After 10 minutes, she said, "Let's have more revenge," and they took revenge again.

After 5 times, Tommy was lying spent, and she said, "Let's take revenge again."

Tommy said, "Let's forgive them..... *I have no more HARD feelings left !!!"*

Teacher: What do u do after school?

1st Student: I go to buy weed from Fasco.

2nd Student: I always buy cigarettes from Fasco

3rd Student: I go to buy Ogogoro from Fasco.

4th Student: I stay at home & do my homework.

Teacher: You are a great student, I hereby appoint you the class prefect, you are a good example to other students. What's your name again?

4th Student: Fasco!

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to the new doctor
At the first house a woman complains, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."
The older doctor says, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you've been eating & see if that does the trick?"
As they left the house, the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman? How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?"
"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what probably was making her sick."
The younger doctor said, "Pretty clever. If you don't mind, I think I'll try that at the next house."
Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."
"You've probably been doing too much for the church," the younger doctor told her, "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."
As they left, the elder doctor said, "I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is most certainly correct, she's very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?" "I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope &, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the pastor under the bed."

I came across this highly touching story and I needed to share.


The world is indeed a crazy place��.

One day a little boy closed from school. On his way home, he saw a cat lying by the street side as though it was dead. To satisfy his curiosity, the boy came close and touched the cat to see if it was dead or hurt. He touched the first time and there was no response. He then touched the cat again. He continued touching, touching and touching….....
Like I said earlier, this is a touching story.




Thank you for reading it…..
You can go back to what you were doing.
let me run back to what I was doing

This is from a woman in need of your help
Hubby travelled to Dubai a week ago, but today as I was cleaning the bedroom, I found his Passport Maybe he used his birth certificate to travel ��‍♀��‍♀���.
I need advice on what to do from you my friends when he comes back.

When Bushmen see technology for the first time!!!

Op you must be a carpenter, Cus you nailed it

FUNNYBONE1:
Op you must be a carpenter, Cus you nailed it

''

..

wolesmile:

No be only beer, e go drink wine join

Last night after having a drink too many,
Steve Olufemi Sodiya aka OJJ ( omuti jati jati) left the party quitely and left his car behind because he knew drunk driving was dangerous. He took a taxi.

From the party his friends phoned him and asked

**'*where have you gone?'**
He replied that having drank a bit too much he left his car behind and took a taxi home.

His friends shouted
*, but the party is in your house..... 'which house did you go? Where are you now,?'

*�����������
And to whom it may concern, *drink responsibly !*

wolesmile:
Last night after having a drink too many,
Steve Olufemi Sodiya aka OJJ ( omuti jati jati) left the party quitely and left his car behind because he knew drunk driving was dangerous. He took a taxi.

From the party his friends phoned him and asked

**'*where have you gone?'**
He replied that having drank a bit too much he left his car behind and took a taxi home.

His friends shouted
*, but the party is in your house..... 'which house did you go? Where are you now,?'

*�����������
And to whom it may concern, *drink responsibly !*

Kai... this one...

Guy U 2much. All Ur Jokes Em Be Dope! I HailGuy U 2much. All Ur Jokes Em Be Dope! I HailGuy U 2much. All Ur Jokes Em Be Dope! I Hail

wolesmile:
Quite hilarious

Tellam to go back primary school

Hmmm!

The life story of Uche!

When Uche was in SS3, his teacher always yelled at him,
calling him a waste of conception, time and space and a
sure failure in life".

One day, poor Uche's grandma came to school to check out
how her grandson was doing.
The teacher told her quite frankly that she had never seen
such a dumb boy all her life; and advised her to withdraw
and enroll him under an artisan, because formal schooling
for Uche would be a total waste of time and money.

The grandma, shocked at the teacher's remarks, withdrew
her grandson from the school and relocated to Maiduguri.



**25 years later **

The teacher was diagnosed with a brain tumour. All the
doctors she met advised her to do surgery and only a
certain doctor in the whole of Nigeria (practicing in
Maiduguri) could perform this procedure. Left with no
alternative, the poor teacher agreed to have the surgery
performed.
Fortunately, It was successful. When she awoke hours after
the surgery, she saw a handsome young doctor smiling
down at her. She was on artificial respiration from a
machine that provided her oxygen. She wanted to thank him
but could not speak. She looked sideways and suddenly
began to express shock & anguish, her face started to turn
pale; she frantically made attempts to raise her hand and
tell him something but couldn't. She struggled, she fought
hard - Then she gave up the ghost and died. The young
doctor was shocked. He tried to find out what went wrong.

Eventually, it was found out that it was our dear Uche (now
working as a cleaner in the hospital) who had disconnected
the lady's oxygen machine to connect his phone charger.





Wait ooo!.........

Don't tell me you thought that Uche
became the doctor?


Lol!!!

If I hear....
This is not Nollywood!!
Uche no know book....
Period!!...

Ex-Unilag girl who passed away last month. Her name was Lola.
She was hit by a car at Oyingbo on her
way to work at Apapa. She was working with MTN. She had a boy friend named Emeka, a banker who was recently transferred to Abuja. Both of them were true lovers. She spent half of the day and
most night talking with Emeka on her
phone.
Lola's family knew about their relationship.
Emeka was very close to Lola's family in
spite of the tribal differences. (just imagine their love.)
Before she passed away at LUTH, she told
her friends:"If I pass away, please bury me
with my cell phone"She also said the same thing to her parents. After her death at LUTH, the attendants couldn't carry her body to the mortuary.
A lot of them tried to do so but couldn't. So
they went to call a priest in church who had
the gift of communicating with the dead. He
sprinkled some salt and water on the body and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said:"this girl is missing something".
Then her friends told them about her intention to be buried with her phone. They asked them to bring a coffin, and then they opened it and placed her phone inside the casket. After that, they tried to carry the body which could now be moved and they carried it away easily.
Everyone was shocked. A day later which was Lola's birthday, Emeka came to their house with gifts but was so shocked to receive the news.
He couldn't believe because he still spoke
with Lola the previous day, He then tried calling her phone again in their presence and behold! It rang and Lola picked it and they were chatting.
They called the priest to come and
intervene and when he came and prayed for 5 hours,It was revealed that MTN is everywhere you go.
Chill! Don't insult me yet, because I'm
also looking for the idiot that composed
this......lolz.
But u like gist sha! See how u concentrated on this.... Oya dont be selfish pass it on while I go disturb anoda person

Hmmm! The life story of Uche!
When Uche was in SS3, his teacher always yelled at him,
calling him a waste of conception, time and space and a
sure failure in life".
One day, poor Uche's grandma came to school to check out
how her grandson was doing.
The teacher told her quite frankly that she had never seen
such a dumb boy all her life; and advised her to withdraw
and enroll him under an artisan, because formal schooling
for Uche would be a total waste of time and money.
The grandma, shocked at the teacher's remarks, withdrew
her grandson from the school and relocated to Maiduguri.
** 25 years later **
The teacher was diagnosed with a brain tumour. All the
doctors she met advised her to do surgery and only a
certain doctor in the whole of Nigeria (practicing in
Maiduguri) could perform this procedure. Left with no
alternative, the poor teacher agreed to have the surgery
performed.
Fortunately, It was successful. When she awoke hours after
the surgery, she saw a handsome young doctor smiling
down at her. She was on artificial respiration from a
machine that provided her oxygen. She wanted to thank him
but could not speak. She looked sideways and suddenly
began to express shock & anguish, her face started to turn
pale; she frantically made attempts to raise her hand and
tell him something but couldn't. She struggled, she fought
hard-Then she gave up the Ghost and died. The young
doctor was shocked. He tried to find out what went wrong.
Eventually, it was found out that it was our dear Uche (now
working as a cleaner in the hospital) who had disconnected
the lady's oxygen machine to connect his phone charger.
Wait ooo!... Don't tell me that you thought that Uche
became the doctor?
Lol If I hear....dis is not Nollywood.!! Uche no know book
period!!...