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If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest - Religion - Nairaland

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If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by johnydon22(m): 8:08am On Oct 14, 2018
And God created Adam and Eve and put them in a perfect garden. The tree of life and death was with God and then God thought to himself;

"I should put that tree right into the garden"

"Jesus! What do you think? I am gonna put that tree into the garden"

"What?" Jesus yelled "Are you kidding me right now? That's a horrible idea"

"Ooooh i am going to put it" God smirked

"Common!!!" Jesus yelled and other inhabitants of heaven just looked on.

And so it happened, that God put the tree he didn't want anybody to eat from right into the middle of the garden where the only 2 people who possibly could eat it lived.

And then, he called Adam and Eve and said "See, you guys can eat from every tree in this garden but not that one"

"What?" Eve yelled

"Why did you put it here then?" Adam queried

God rolled his eyes "Hey, Hey, common guys, see, i am serious. Nobody should eat from that tree"

Do you know the first thing the b-itch did? Totally eat the fruit and gave it to Adam.

Back in heaven, Jesus and God watched with open mouth as Adam and Eve munched the juicy fruit like their lives depended on it.

And God slowly turned to Jesus and said "You do know i'm gonna have to have you killed for this right?"

Jesus chuckled at the perceived subtle joke then it dawned on him, God never jokes.

"WTF!!!"

31 Likes 7 Shares

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by falcon01: 8:21am On Oct 14, 2018
Lol
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by segmond(m): 8:42am On Oct 14, 2018
Nice story
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by fk001(m): 8:43am On Oct 14, 2018
LMAO cheesy grin


Why was the tree there in first place? to test their loyalty to him or what?





What was the devil still doing in heaven after they barnished him??


Was God aware that Eve will eat the fruit or did she took him by surprise? If he was aware then why must he punished them after all he was aware? If he was not aware then how comes?


Why did he find it so easily to forgive Adam and finds it difficult to forgive CAIN after all Cain was decendant of Adam, and God knows that CAIN will kill Habila why didn't he do miracle to stop him from killing his brother?.



Whats the essence of sending that crow to demonstrate for CAIN on how to burry his brother after the deed has been done



Indeed gullibility is real. cheesy

8 Likes

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by fk001(m): 8:43am On Oct 14, 2018
LMAO cheesy grin


Why was the tree there in first place? to test their loyalty to him or what?





What was the devil still doing in heaven after they barnished him??


Was God aware that Eve will eat the fruit or did she took him by surprise? If he was aware then why must he punished them after all he was aware? If he was not aware then how comes?


Why did he find it so easily to forgive Adam and finds it difficult to forgive CAIN after all Cain was decendant of Adam, and God knows that CAIN will kill Habila why didn't he do miracle to stop him from killing his brother?.



Whats the essence of sending that crow to demonstrate to CAIN on how to burry his brother after the deed has been done



Indeed gullibility is real. cheesy

1 Like

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by Liveair: 9:48am On Oct 14, 2018
johnydon22:

And God created Adam and Eve and put them in a perfect garden. The tree of life and death was with God and then God thought to himself;

"I should put that tree right into the garden"

"Jesus! What do you think? I am gonna put that tree into the garden"

"What?" Jesus yelled "Are you kidding me right now? That's a horrible idea"

"Ooooh i am going to put it" God smirked

"Common!!!" Jesus yelled and other inhabitants of heaven just looked on.

And so it happened, that God put the tree he didn't want anybody to eat from right into the middle of the garden where the only 2 people who possibly could eat it lived.

And then, he called Adam and Eve and said "See, you guys can eat from every tree in this garden but not that one"

"What?" Eve yelled

"Why did you put it here then?" Adam queried

God rolled his eyes "Hey, Hey, common guys, see, i am serious. Nobody should eat from that tree"

Do you know the first thing the b-itch did? Totally eat the fruit and gave it to Adam.

Back in heaven, Jesus and God watched with open mouth as Adam and Eve munched the juicy fruit like their lives depended on it.

And God slowly turned to Jesus and said "You do know i'm gonna have to have you killed for this right?"

Jesus chuckled at the perceived subtle joke then it dawned on him, God never jokes.

"WTF!!!"

This is by far the best written account of the story. Funny, yet practical. Awesome!

5 Likes

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by jasysandra(f): 10:23am On Oct 14, 2018
grin grin
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by MuttleyLaff: 10:56am On Oct 14, 2018
johnydon22:
And God created Adam and Eve and put them in a perfect garden. The tree of life and death was with God and then God thought to himself;

"I should put that tree right into the garden"

"Jesus! What do you think? I am gonna put that tree into the garden"

"What?" Jesus yelled "Are you kidding me right now? That's a horrible idea"

"Ooooh i am going to put it" God smirked

"Common!!!" Jesus yelled and other inhabitants of heaven just looked on.

And so it happened, that God put the tree he didn't want anybody to eat from right into the middle of the garden where the only 2 people who possibly could eat it lived.

And then, he called Adam and Eve and said "See, you guys can eat from every tree in this garden but not that one"

"What?" Eve yelled

"Why did you put it here then?" Adam queried

God rolled his eyes "Hey, Hey, common guys, see, i am serious. Nobody should eat from that tree"

Do you know the first thing the b-itch did? Totally eat the fruit and gave it to Adam.

Back in heaven, Jesus and God watched with open mouth as Adam and Eve munched the juicy fruit like their lives depended on it.

And God slowly turned to Jesus and said "You do know i'm gonna have to have you killed for this right?"

Jesus chuckled at the perceived subtle joke then it dawned on him, God never jokes.

"WTF!!!"
The irony of this wryly amusing post, is that Jesus wasnt even born then
however the brilliant summation of the write-up is that:
The greatest love you can have for your friends is to give your life for them.

1 Like

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by hahn(m): 11:32am On Oct 14, 2018
MuttleyLaff:
The irony of this wryly amusing post, is that Jesus wasnt even born then

But Jesus was in heaven at the beginning of creation, wasn't he?

however the brilliant summation of the write-up is that:
The greatest love you can have for your friends is to give your life for them.

If you wake up after 3 days and your friends still have to go to hell for their sins then why did you die in the first place?

21 Likes 4 Shares

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by Omooba224: 11:49am On Oct 14, 2018
The irony of this story is that grown up people still believe it. This is more like a children's fairytale book..

15 Likes

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by hahn(m): 11:51am On Oct 14, 2018
Seriously though, God no get sense sha undecided

6 Likes

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by MuttleyLaff: 11:51am On Oct 14, 2018
hahn:
But Jesus was in heaven at the beginning of creation, wasn't he?
No, technically and biologically Jesus wasnt in Heaven at the beginning of creation.
It is the Word, in the, in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God, that was in heaven

hahn:
If you wake up after 3 days and your friends still have to go to hell for their sins then why did you die in the first place?
I am sorry. I left out the final part of that quote.
It says:
"You are my friends, if you do what I command."

2 Likes

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by hahn(m): 11:55am On Oct 14, 2018
MuttleyLaff:
No, technically and biologically Jesus wasnt in Heaven at the beginning of creation.
It is the Word, in the, in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God, that was in heaven

So when did Jesus start to exist as an entity capable of volunteering to come and die on earth?

I am sorry. I left out the final part of that quote.
It says:
"You are my friends, if you do what I command."

Sounds like a threat undecided

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by MuttleyLaff: 12:06pm On Oct 14, 2018
hahn:
So when did Jesus start to exist as an entity capable of volunteering to come and die on earth?
The plan to come and die on earth had been formulated even before creation and foundation of the earth

Jesus started to exist subsequently after the moment the Holy Spirit came upon Mary and the power of the Most High overshadowed her

hahn:
Sounds like a threat undecided
Personally, I dont think so nor see it that way
besides, if one has nothing to hide, then one has nothing to fear, is what I'll say

1 Like

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by Babacele: 12:43pm On Oct 14, 2018
The story of creation is an allegory to teach us certain basic lessons about life ,and that in Genesis or similar account is found in most religions. Moses brought the one we have in the bible from Egypt.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by DoctorAlien(m): 1:13pm On Oct 14, 2018
Although this might appeal to those who mock, it hopelessly fails to make meaning to any person with basic Bible knowledge, as this piece reveals deep ignorance of Bible teachings.

The supposed argument between Jesus and the Father on whether the tree should be there is fictitious because Jesus and His Father "are one" both in counsel and every other thing.(Jn. 10:30). By the way Bible students know that the tree was put there in the garden to serve as a test of their willful obedience to the commandments of GOD. If there was no avenue through which they could sin, Satan would have pointed that as an objection when God contrasts man's obedience with his own disobedience.

The notion that the GODhead, and Jesus as the sacrificial Lamb, were caught unawares at the fall of man is laughable. Long before man was created, provision for his redemption had been made should he fall, with Jesus willfully opting to be the sacrifice. Which is why Jesus is said to be "slain from the foundation of the world" Rev 13:8

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by frank317: 2:08pm On Oct 14, 2018
DoctorAlien:
Although this might appeal to those who mock, it hopelessly fails to make meaning to any person with basic Bible knowledge, as this piece reveals deep ignorance of Bible teachings.

The supposed argument between Jesus and the Father on whether the tree should be there is fictitious because Jesus and His Father "are one" both in counsel and every other thing.(Jn. 10:30). By the way Bible students know that the tree was put there in the garden to serve as a test of their willful obedience to the commandments of GOD. If there was no avenue through which they could sin, Satan would have pointed that as an objection when God contrasts man's obedience with his own disobedience.

The notion that the GODhead, and Jesus as the sacrificial Lamb, were caught unawares at the fall of man is laughable. Long before man was created, provision for his redemption had been made should he fall, with Jesus willfully opting to be the sacrifice. Which is why Jesus is said to be "slain from the foundation of the world" Rev 13:8

To test their willful obedience to Gods commandment? Was this sort of an experiment for God? Adam and eve were God's test rats... He he

Now that he has seen the result, I hope he us happy.

13 Likes

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by DoctorAlien(m): 2:18pm On Oct 14, 2018
frank317:


To test their willful obedience to Gods commandment? Was this sort of an experiment for God? Adam and eve were God's test rats... He he

Now that he has seen the result, I hope he us happy.

Just put in little more effort and read the next sentence after the one talking about testing their willful obedience. As you read it, think upon it.

1 Like

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by CAPSLOCKED: 2:18pm On Oct 14, 2018
hahn:

If you wake up after 3 days and your friends still have to go to hell for their sins then why did you die in the first place?

BECAUSE LIVING IS TOO DIFFICULT.
JESUS HAD TO DO EVERYTHING WITHIN HIS MIGHT TO ESCAPE THIS EARTH ON TIME.
I'M SURE IF HE HAD BEEN BORN IN THIS PRESENT DAY NIGERIA HE WOULD HAVE DISAPPEARED BEFORE HIS 4TH BIRTHDAY.

9 Likes

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by frank317: 2:21pm On Oct 14, 2018
DoctorAlien:


Just put in little more effort and read the next sentence after the one talking about testing their willful obedience. As you read it, think upon it.

Satan is Gods creation for god sake. So all these was just to prove a point to Satan? Smh

2 Likes

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by hahn(m): 2:28pm On Oct 14, 2018
MuttleyLaff:
The plan to come and die on earth had been formulated even before creation and foundation of the earth

Jesus started to exist subsequently after the moment the Holy Spirit came upon Mary and the power of the Most High overshadowed her

Any bible verse to support this?

Personally, I dont think so nor see it that way
besides, if one has nothing to hide, then one has nothing to fear, is what I'll say

Your quotes are getting more and more off point. Try talking to a lady and tell her "love me or I'll burn you" and see if she will see it your way

6 Likes

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by hahn(m): 2:29pm On Oct 14, 2018
CAPSLOCKED:


BECAUSE LIVING IS TOO DIFFICULT.
JESUS HAD TO DO EVERYTHING WITHIN HIS MIGHT TO ESCAPE THIS EARTH ON TIME.
I'M SURE IF HE HAD BEEN BORN IN THIS PRESENT DAY NIGERIA HE WOULD HAVE DISAPPEARED BEFORE HIS 4TH BIRTHDAY.

Jesus was such a wuss
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by DoctorAlien(m): 2:31pm On Oct 14, 2018
frank317:


Satan is Gods creation for god sake. So all these was just to prove a point to Satan? Smh

More like to remove whatever point Satan could have raised. They were still willfully obeying GOD until Satan "deceived" Eve. You see, the whole thing since Satan's rebellion has been to prove to the whole of creation why rebellion should not exist, and why it is just for GOD to annihilate rebellion and those who practise it, which is what GOD will do in the end.

2 Likes

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by johnydon22(m): 2:40pm On Oct 14, 2018
Babacele:
The story of creation is an allegory to teach us certain basic lessons about life ,and that in Genesis or similar account is found in most religions. Moses brought the one we have in the bible from Egypt.

In order words, Jesus died for an allegory?

8 Likes

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by johnydon22(m): 2:41pm On Oct 14, 2018
DoctorAlien:


More like to remove whatever point Satan could have raised. They were still willfully obeying GOD until Satan "deceived" Eve. You see, the whole thing since Satan's rebellion has been to prove to the whole of creation why rebellion should not exist, and why it is just for GOD to annihilate rebellion and those who practise it, which is what GOD will do in the end.

Was it the satan or the snake?

1 Like

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by bloodofthelamb(m): 2:42pm On Oct 14, 2018
The imagination of a finite mind.

1 Like

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by johnydon22(m): 2:42pm On Oct 14, 2018
DoctorAlien:


More like to remove whatever point Satan could have raised.
God is supposes to, by definition, be omniscient


They were still willfully obeying GOD until Satan "deceived" Eve. You see, the whole thing since Satan's rebellion has been to prove to the whole of creation why rebellion should not exist, and why it is just for GOD to annihilate rebellion and those who practise it, which is what GOD will do in the end.

At the end. Has a striking resemblance to our story telling method, there is always a grand finale awfully convenient. Don't you think?
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by johnydon22(m): 2:43pm On Oct 14, 2018
hahn:


Any bible verse to support this?



Your quotes are getting more and more off point. Try talking to a lady and tell her "love me or I'll burn you" and see if she will see it your way

Really dude? You get energy like so?
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by johnydon22(m): 2:44pm On Oct 14, 2018
bloodofthelamb:
The imagination of a finite mind.

Exactly
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by hahn(m): 2:46pm On Oct 14, 2018
johnydon22:


Really dude? You get energy like so?

Not much clients to chat with so I have time to waste grin
Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by DoctorAlien(m): 2:51pm On Oct 14, 2018
johnydon22:
God is supposes to, by definition, be omniscient



At the end. Has a striking resemblance to our story telling method, there is always a grand finale awfully convenient. Don't you think?

Don't you think it's because GOD is omniscient that He had Satan all figured out, even expecting all of his moves?

As for me, the grand finale of this great drama is more than convenient. It is truly comforting to know that evil and injustice will one day come to and end.

2 Likes

Re: If The Writers Of Adam And Eve Were Honest by bloodofthelamb(m): 2:52pm On Oct 14, 2018
johnydon22:

Exactly
It is limited and short-sighted.

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