Efemena_xy:

How To Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
3. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
4. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
5. Get in the shower.
6. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
7. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
8. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
9. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
10. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
11. Rinse conditioner off hair.
12. Shave armpits and legs.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
15. Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
16. Get out of shower.
17. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
18. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
19. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
20. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk unclothed to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

I loff the parts embolden

Efemena_xy:

I guess it's b/cos not all women are half as randy as their male counterparts

And, it doesn't take much to fire the guy up

[s]remember reading somewhere that most males think about s.ex every 6mins or so. . .[/s]

Efemena_xy:

Sting!!

Nothing, absolutely nothing's wrong with it

Especially if you're doing your bit to be green & reduce global warming sha. . .

Tee_Jay:

^^^ meaning u give him a freeview every morning?

Moyola:

Freeview? a monthly subscription 2 view! hehe! Nwaiz yu V.Wrong!

Moyola:


btw i said it doznt apply to me kuz ah dunt evn shawa/baff

Tee_Jay:

This is one woman going to have a shower

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=profile;u=11473

Efemena_xy:

Moyola!!

erm. . . so wetin you dey do then? swim I guess

Tee_Jay:

This is one woman going to have a shower

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=profile;u=11473

Tee_Jay:

ablution (Aluwala) aka top and tail

Moyola:

Hey! lemme knw wen yu r done droolin ova her pix, she'd b glad to hearrit!

Tee_Jay:

im not drooling just admiring her nice curvy deriere