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My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup - Romance - Nairaland

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My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by henritinecy(m): 3:37pm On Nov 11, 2018
So I started dating this girl about this time last year. Things were rosy because I just came back to the country and I was having much money with me. I tried my best to give her what she wants. As times goes on, earlier on this year, we had a little misunderstanding and I initiated a breakup. Of a truth, the issue was minor and didn’t warrant a breakup. She sent my friends to beg me. We kept on going. Along the line, things became rough for me and suddenly, her respect for me started reducing. She hardly create time for us. She is currently in school in another state while I am in Lagos. At this point, we usually breakup up and come back. They were minor things though but sometimes we don’t talk for a while. The last time it happened, she said if we ever break up again, we are never coming back together. And then, When things started going wrong with me financially, she advised to leave the country that it will better me as well as her. But I declined. Gradually , our seeing time reduced. Sometimes she will be in Lagos and we will see just once or twice and she usually tell me that she is busy that’s why it’s like this.

Fast forward to last month. Her elder sister has a wedding and we needed to travel together. So we used my car. Half way into the journey my car engine knocked. The car had to be towed to Lagos while we continued our journey. She even provided part of te money we used in towing the car back to Lagos as well as paying the rest of the fare till we got to our destination. Meanwhile, She was talking to different guys on the phone though the conversations were not related to us but I felt this jealousy in me. While on the journey I asked her if there was someone else and she said no. I asked her to give me her phone and she did without arguing and even opened it. Then I returned it back to her without going through it. Then I asked her what I can do at this point. Cuz now there is no finance from anywhere coming in. As a matter of fact, I was using that particular car for Taxify and now the engine is down. She said she had told me before but I didn’t listen and that I should leave the country and things will be better for me again. I said okay am going to do it this time. So my mind was to come back to Lagos after the wedding and I sell it off. She was even crying while telling me.

On the day of the marriage I took another car from home and helped with the things I could. Taking her and her friends to and fro with respect to the wedding. The day after the wedding, she called me to come pick her from the hotel her friends that came for the wedding were lodging. I got there and we started taking things to the car I brought from the rooms her friends lodged. On our way to the car, a man stopped her and she was having a conversation with the man. And the man was laughing with her and even exchanging contact. This is a man in the 40s. At this point I was furious but I kept quiet. When she was done she came to the car and we set off for her house. She saw in me that I was angry. She then asked me what was wrong and I told her my mood has changed. She asked me to go drop her at the hotel and that when my mood is back on, I should come pick her. I then tuned back, and she came down. Cuz of the love I have for her, I didn’t want this to degenerate to something else. I came down I told her the act was wrong. She then told me if it’s wrong for her to talk to people and meet people because she is dating me. I said it’s not wrong but me being there, it’s disrespectful and besides there are ways she can tell me to excuse her in order to show that she is concerned about me. She then replied and said am speaking English. I felt so back with that statement. I just dropped her stuffs and drove back home.

When I got home, I sent her a long message on Instagram telling her that I cannot continue in this relationship. That I need my respect back and making money is the only value that will bring my respect back. She replied with just thanks. 3 days later, I couldn’t continue a life without her. I called her in the morning. At this point , she has blocked me from communicating with her on Instagram. I asked her to forgive me for what I said and that I was just frustrated with the way things ain’t going well with me, coupled with my car and finances. She told me that she cannot date me again and has moved on. I thought it was a joke. I kept on begging but she has made up her mind.

Last week, I started talking to her with a random account on Instagram and posed like someone that is interested in her and has feelings for her. I also told her that I am not in the country at the moment and will be back next month. For 5 consecutive days we were talking. She even initiated a video call and I declined. Then I asked her about her relationship and she said it’s complicated. That she hasn’t heard from the guy in 2 weeks. And explained all that happened to him. She revealed so many things to me via that conversation. Then I now called her with my number. She then knew I was the one. I started pleading with her again , telling her that I am sorry. She said she has moved on. That the only language she understands now is money which I cannot offer her. That she is tired of this love thing. That if I beg from now till forever , she is not interested. That I should go and make money. That she needs someone that can pay her bills and that the only thing she can do for me is being friends with me. Of a truth she needs money to pay her school fees plus accommodation fee in school which is upward from N300,000 and I cannot provide that now. So she said she needs someone that can be giving her money and that she has suffered enough; But dating me, she can never do that again.

I love this girl and it’s hard to let go. Maybe with time, I will. But how do I let go of what I feel for her and how can I move ahead at this point? Yes she has motivated me to go make money and be a better person. But it hurts me so bad that after making this money, some other lady will be the one spending the rest of my life with me. Yes I bleeped up by not listening to her when she first asked me to leave the country. And I bleeped up by initiating a breakup due to my frustration. But my heart lies with her and hopefully with time, I will heal and make enough money that this experience will be a thing that will make me smile when I look back and think about it.

Please anyone that has gotten over someone you have been so much emotionally attached to, I need your help towards getting over her because right now, the whole experience is killing me.

Thank You

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by hahahahahaha(m): 3:43pm On Nov 11, 2018
Why do you still love someone like her? How can you not tell that she only loves your money? I feel really bad for you OP; but I must tell you the truth, you have no self-esteem. The only thing that gives you confidence is money, and you used that money to buy what you thought was love, but she didn't love you after everything; she only wanted your money. If you ever bounce back, please don't go near that vacuum of a girl. Find a girl that loves you and can pay her bills; they exist.

Thanks guys, but what do I do with all this likes?

905 Likes 82 Shares

Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by TINTINABULATION(m): 3:44pm On Nov 11, 2018
Dear brother,

Let me first of all congratulate you on the break-up. You really need to pop some champagne on this victory. Ladies like this would drive you naught and eventually leave you sooner or later. Dont fall for their facade, they are master gold diggers. Marriage and relationships should be substance over form. That relationship was devoid of love. It was purely commercial than affectionate.

Lastly, don't be too hard on yourself. You will forget all about her in the maturity of time. I wish you the very best as you diligently run the race that has been set before you.

Shalom.

428 Likes 18 Shares

Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by TonyeBarcanista(m): 3:44pm On Nov 11, 2018
Well, I won't tell you "sorry" but I'll advice you to forget about her and channel your energy into better your life.

Like seriously, you even apologised for wrong done to you by her? My brother, you are a victim of the scam called love. What she was after was the $$$ and you became useless after it stopped coming (that's what most women are after by the way though).

Anyway, enough of the sermon, stand up, go take some green bottle with your guys, forget about the babe (and babes in general for now), arrange yourself and leave the country to hustle for yourself not for her. You will surely get over this!

Always remember, NEVER TO TRUST GIRLS/WOMEN and dont put women at the centre of your life except your mother and female relatives.

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by decatalyst(m): 3:57pm On Nov 11, 2018
Ogbeni, goan make legit money and let your success impress her.


But do not settle for her!

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Nobody: 3:57pm On Nov 11, 2018
All I can say is that you deserve better.

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Originalsly: 4:04pm On Nov 11, 2018
Yes..you did bleep up when you did not follow her advice to return and make money....and no...you did not bleep up when you 'initiated' the break up...and yes...you will bleep up when you leave, make money and return to her...that's when the cycle will come full circle...back to square one. Bro....look back...see where you went wrong... if you can't recognize the mistakes you made in the past...you will make them again. You are on that road. ..to make the same mistake all over again. Looking back..... you came into the country...loaded with cash....do you really believe she chose to be with you because of you?...or your money? Even if you didn't recognize...she has told you point blank...she is after money period....whether the man taking her number is 40 or 80...doesn't matter....as long as the money is flowing her way....she is available. The bitter truth...at the end of the day....she is a prostitute....and a prostitute is always available to the highest bidder. Now you travel...make money..and return...ask yourself...would your money then be enough for her to be with you?...and if yes...how long can you maintain...providing another man doesn't offer more? Love is a two way street....you love her...she loves your money...no money no love. Your life..your choice...move on ...or live in misery.

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by highqueen(f): 4:06pm On Nov 11, 2018
Sorry go and make money.
Another good girl will come around.

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by delishpot: 4:07pm On Nov 11, 2018
Move on, move on don't be tired.

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by don4real18(m): 4:09pm On Nov 11, 2018
You need balls man. Real balls and not the two that accompanies your banana.
If I get to hear that you called to apologise to her again, I will find you (believe me, I will) and give you a life-resetting slap.

468 Likes 39 Shares

Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Nobody: 4:11pm On Nov 11, 2018
Shít! Shít!! Shìt!!!

Why do you want to go back to someone like that?!
How can you even love someone like that?!

A woman that have her eyes only on money... Gosh! She was even frank with you that only money moves her but yet you still want her... Even to the extent of begging! shocked

I can't take it anymore. I just have to let it all out now.

Why the heck are some guys dumb?
Why do they listen to their heart's and not their brain's?
Why are they blinded by something as fake as love?
Where do they keep their self esteem?


OP, if you don't want a miserable life, delete her from your life. Even if you indeed manage to make a lot of money, she'll never be yours. Her body, mind and soul is for the highest bidder. Unless you are Bill Gates, forget!

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Kenzico(m): 4:12pm On Nov 11, 2018
I feel for you OP my brother....Most women don't know when they lose their soul mates.

I have been meeting with ladies who depend solely on men for money without thinking of what best to do for themselves

I understand ur love for this girl but Somehow you have let loose of that embargo...Or it's gonna hook you for so long and might lead you to depression

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by nelxxy(m): 4:21pm On Nov 11, 2018
chai see sissy... op don't you know the more you're begging the more she is moving far away from you.. man up joor

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by ITbomb(m): 4:23pm On Nov 11, 2018
Please send me her number, I need to know the Baba wey cook the condiments for her
The thing don work wella

41 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Headlesschicken(m): 4:27pm On Nov 11, 2018
undecided That b!tch doesn't love you one bit,she only cares about d dough,if not that today was Sunday n that I'm in a good mood,I could've advised u to use her chicken head for Rituals grin,what nonsense better move on from that leache n get yuhself together,in due time u would see what God saved u from,she might even be the reason for yuh recent brokenness,some women r blessing blockers,if only God could open our eyes to d Evil living in most women,most folks won't get married..

39 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Perfectnumber6(m): 6:28pm On Nov 11, 2018
Normally i just come to nairaland to read stories and laugh if it funny, now bro take this from me you've been totally liberated from the shackles of that fake love okay, see the only thing you miss about that girl is the way you guys have sex , you can't tell me she comes around to wash your clothes, clean your house etc. probably sex with her is mind blowing and that is what you are missing already and thinking of. My guy you deserve better go take one cold bottle of star think of how you would make money like she rightly told you. You should be glad that she was even open to
You, some with demonic spirit would just leave you in the relationship to be dating yourself till you find out that she's tired by then it might be too late. So bro let her go was once in your shoes bro, I still talk with her but no feelings anymore , all the guys she has met after me keeps playing her , we were just chatting someday and she told me I missed you though then i just laughed. Bro move on okay travel out if you've got a visa and I bet you would meet people and before you know it you would forget about her.

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by habsydiamond(m): 6:32pm On Nov 11, 2018
Judas comot for Ur life.. u dey down emotionally because of it...why not ask Jesus how e be to betray someone because of money.... If God show u a sign like this u are very lucky...cos if u end up marrying this one, she will still leave at last whenever it gets tough... Wise up bro..

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Learnstuffs: 7:09pm On Nov 11, 2018
Bro, move on. It's very difficult at first but trust me, that will be the best decision you have to take. She has indirectly told you she is a runs girl

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Brunosamel(m): 9:07pm On Nov 11, 2018
Let me be frank with you Life has tought me lesson especially relationship.... Thank God you are finally saved, you need to thank her for being honest with you... Who even told you she is the best omo fashi! You will meet another that will beat her hands down in all aspect but mind you need to be careful brother with the way you going about with money in your relationship is not good for young guys like us.... Look for decent girls with good background and home training they are many of them out there, fall in love with there character and make her to fall in love with your qualities and pontentials, brush her up to your own teast and I swaear you will be a moving train I swear to you brother you never in your life regret it...

50 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by anochuko01(m): 9:18pm On Nov 11, 2018
lemme faint if I read this story

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Oyindidi(f): 9:23pm On Nov 11, 2018
Stupid people everywhere

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Nacoss25(m): 9:31pm On Nov 11, 2018
Finally... Let me sit and cross my leg with my team✌
I belong to the comment Readers Association of Nigeria ( CRAON). Our duty is to read, smile and pass. We no dey find trouble oooo. Pls try to be brief in your comment, so that we can move to other comments. Thanks. Pls if you are a member of this association hit like and pass don't find trouble oooo

223 Likes 9 Shares

Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by show654321(m): 9:42pm On Nov 11, 2018
Though is pretty difficult but u gat to move on with ur life! Remember u are not d first person in this and u won't never be d last. Better days lies ahead for u.

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Nobody: 10:05pm On Nov 11, 2018
na wao grin grin
another story of a guy acting as an UBER taxi driver to his girlfriend cheesy
op d babe don tire.all d south african rands u hustle for south africa don finish hence she"s no longer interested in the relationship and has moved on to a bigger fish.quit embarrasing urself begging her for a comeback.u move on as well.

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Triniti(m): 10:13pm On Nov 11, 2018
How you built your world around a girl who only cares about what she was gaining from you still amazes me, leave that leeche alone and think about how to better your life, man up and stop acting like a sissy

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Nobody: 10:15pm On Nov 11, 2018
henritinecy:
That she needs someone that can pay her bills and that the only thing she can do for me is being friends with me. Of a truth she needs money to pay her school fees plus accommodation fee in school which is upward from N300,000 and I cannot provide that now. So she said she needs someone that can be giving her money and that she has suffered enough; But dating me, she can never do that again.





Thank You
she should go get a big god that can take care of her financial needs with ease.dem full town.

4 Likes

Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by boomssey(f): 10:52pm On Nov 11, 2018
Guy let her go u will find someone better.

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by bujebudanu1(m): 11:09pm On Nov 11, 2018
You just came back .i.e you are a Yankee boy.

And u are begging a naija girl

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by StrongandMighty: 11:23pm On Nov 11, 2018
Just dump her!! That's d bottom line

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Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Claireshan1(f): 11:51pm On Nov 11, 2018
This guy sef just thank God you guys broke up the girl never truly loved you but your money hence the reason her attitude changed when the money stopped coming through

I'll advise you to go hustler for yourself don't even think of going back to that girl


I wish I can see a guy that will love me this way,I always meet the opposite set of guys

20 Likes

Re: My Recent Breakup Experience: I Messed Up By Initiating The Breakup by Offpoint: 11:55pm On Nov 11, 2018
God forbid that I should spend my precious time read another man's story that long... summary is life

11 Likes

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